Wednesday, September 30, 2009

950...Floormats Are Bad For Your Health

At least if you drive a Toyota. Or a Lexus.

Toyota Canada has just sent out a press release, which I am parsing from, asking all owners of Toyotas made this century to remove the front driverside floor mat. The recall, the largest in Toyota's history, covers the following models: The recall will cover the Camry and Avalon sedans, the Prius hybrid, the Tacoma and Tundra pickup trucks and luxury Lexus models, the IS250 and the IS350 as well as the ES350.

Apparently the floormat gets loose and can cause the gas pedal to pedal towards the metal, a problem that has resulted in multiple crashes and five deaths in the USA.

This is serious and deadly stuff. In August of this year an off-duty California state trooper and three members of his family were killed in a crash of a 2009 Lexus ES350 in the San Diego area. Before the crash, a passenger in the car had called 911 and told dispatchers that the accelerator was stuck and the car had reached 120 miles per hour which is close to 200 km per hour.

For more details go to the Toyota website

You may also call Toyota at 1-800-331-4331 or Lexus at 1-800-255-3987.


949...Megan Gillis Has The Coolest Stories

Take this one on page 5 of this morning's Ottawa Sun.

She tells the story of Paul Ross Anderson, a 48 year old Ottawa man who, in a drunken stupor, felt the need for a bottle of pickles but did not feel the need to pay for them so he stuck them down his pants at the Metro on Rideau Street in Ottawa September 23rd of this year.

He was sooooooooooooooooo drunk that he had to ask his lawyer what he was accused of stealing.

Pleading guilty yesterday, Mr. Anderson was given 46 days to think about his malfeasance.


948...The View From Montreal

La Presse, the popular Montreal broadsheet, weighs in on what is happening in La Belle and, more specifically, up the street from La Presse in Outremont.

Andre Pratt postulates that the next Prime Minister of Canada may have hit a road bump in the last few days, one that will only serve to boost the Bloc Quebecois. He makes the point that in the last five years or so the two parties that can and will govern this country for the foreseeable future, the Liberals and Conservatives, have not done a great job at attracting the vote of Quebecers.

Mr. Pratt's take on this current situation is that history shows that federal party leaders, even when they come from Quebec, need a strong Quebec lieutenant. A boss. An Ernest Lapointe or a Marc Lalonde type.

My take on the situation is similar; like it or not, Quebec is Quebec and it is important to realize that. I just think that it is a bit early to do like media have been doing for the last few days, attacking Michael Ignatieff.

The only party that truly understands the dynamics of Canada from Sea to Shining Sea is the Liberal Party and the only leader that gets that is ours.

This is merely a speedbump.


947...We're Number Ten!!!

More importantly, we are ahead of the Americans who finish fifth from the bottom.

The category is an important one and yet another reason to carry a Tim Horton's coffee mug, a Canadian flag and a hockey stick when travelling outside of The Great White North.

We finished number 10 on the list of best male lovers in the world.


Number one was Spain btw; the Germans finished last in the survey of 15,000 women, a scientific survey I may add, using slide rules, calulators and pie charts. Apparently what did the Germans in was that they are too smelly. England was second worst, too lazy and the Swedes third worst, too fast.



I know exactly what you are thinking.


That is why the Wisconsin Tourism Federation is no more. reports that it is now the Tourism Federation of Wisconsin.

You should be embarrassed.

The metamorphosis is not completed. Google still lists its site as the Wisconsin Tourism Federation, and the first button beneath the logo is titled About WTF.



So hit that number before you turn in and then turn me on at six tomorrow/this morning.

I will be talking to a bunch of people tomorrow starting with the contest queen from Oshawa, Carolyn Willman who will be in town this weekend for a seminar that can and will win you valuable prizes.

Later in the hour Russell Barth floats in to tell me about a legalize pot fundraiser being held next week.

Plus maybe the smart and sexy Candace Hanna will be my co pilot; fingers crossed.

Of course tic, the most brand loyal person I know, will come and torment me around 6 30; but I love it. This week I have a present for his tic'ness that will refute his argument that Coke wastes money on advertising. Of course he won't get it but his lack of intellectual dexterity is what makes him so adorable. And then from 7 to 7 30 he will do the whether, including radar and maps and charts. How cool, eh?

Finally, if his schedule will allow, Woody from CHEZ 106 on air at about a quarter to seven to talk about this Saturday's big fundraiser for Breast Cancer at the Elmdale House. For more details check out Post 942.

Me, on the radio, with you, in less than six hours.


Tuesday, September 29, 2009

944...Moose Troubles Out West

The Moose in Manitoba potentially have a big problem.

Crestwood's own Mia Rabson, who scribbles for the Winnipeg Free Press, writes in today's fish wrap that "The Manitoba Moose are among the professional sports teams who could find themselves grounded because a recent decision to solve a cross- border charter airline dispute only applies to Air Canada and teams in the National Hockey League."

The Moose are the defending whatever-division-they-play-in-champions and Calder Cup finalists in the American Hockey League and are, next to ice fishing on Lake Winnipeg of course, the place to be seen in the Winnipeg area during the winter months, September to June inclusive.

This Air Canada only rule could also affect other Canuckistanian sports teams, specifically the Toronto Raptors and the Blue Jays.

Joe Volpe, who is the Liberal transport critic was spot on when he said the government was deceptive when it flaunted the NHL/Air Canada agreement during Harper's meeting with President Barack Obama Sept. 16 because they made it seem like they had solved the whole problem not just part of the problem.

Imagine, the current government being deceptive.

As if.


943...Are Insecure Liberals A Problem?

Or is it insecure Tories?

Methinks it is the latter.

Our beloved Prime Minister Stephen Harper was speaking yesterday at an Irving owned machine yard in Saint John, New Brunswick and a number of prominent, i.e., elected, Liberals wanted to go see the Prime Minister of all speak. tells us that "Moncton MP Brian Murphy and New Brunswick Liberal MLAs Abel LeBlanc and Stuart Jamieson, the latter of whom was designated by the provincial Liberal government as its official representative at the event...", were turned away at the door.

Saint John Conservative MP Rodney Weston says that the issue was security.

Or insecurity.


942...The Pink Sombrero Is Good To Go

And the World Famous Dan Shields will be wearing it proudly while quaffing ale upon ale Saturday all day and all night in Support of The CIBC Run For The Cure for Breast Cancer. Woody from CHEZ 106 will host a day-long Rock For The Cure on Saturday, October 3rd, beginning at 2. The event will honour all participants in October 4th’s Run but, in particular, Team Cindy, in memory of long-time CHEZ 106 newscaster Cindy Woods.

The day of music and fun will feature Forbidden Dream, The Bruised Egos, The Chixie Dicks, Grampapunk, Love Circus, Cr4ve and Robert Farrell.

This is a 19+ NO COVER event. The day will also feature 50/50 and door prize raffles with all proceeds to The Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation.


WHAT: A Day of Rock Music and FUN-Raising.

WHERE: The Elmdale Tavern, 1084 Wellington Street, Ottawa.

WHEN: Saturday, October 3rd , 2009 from 2pm to Midnight.

WHY: To support Breast Cancer Research.

Look for me in the pink sombrero, Sharpie in hand for your autograph wants and needs.



The Times of London reports that for a mere 315 Canadian pesos the hundred or so people attending a business summit in glorious Surrey, B. C. next week will be able to get their pix taken with former Brit PM Tony Blair.

This is on top of the 470$ they are spending to attend a conference that he is the keynote speaker at.

A decent Prime Minister, Mr. Blair is a superstar on the lecture circuit, rumoured to have made in excess of 25 million dollars in speaking fees since stepping down as PM a couple of years back.


940...All Good Dogs Go To Heaven

But first they must go to church and according to Karen Seidman of Canwest News Service there is finally a church that is dog friendly to the max.

It is Christ Church Beaurepaire in Beaconsfield, a suburb of Montreal on the West Island.

The first Paws and Pray service will be held at the church this Sunday.


939...Trainwrecks Part Deux

This week's The Charlatan, the Carleton University paper, has a story about the trainwreck that is the Carleton University cheerleading squad.

The team which, and I am a fan of the sport, is the worst cheerleading team in the history of collegiate sports and a bit clued out to boot. In fact they don't even go to games any more.

While the Carleton Ravens were playing the St. John's Red Storm earlier this month the cheerleading team took a pass on cheering for their school's national championship basketball team to run a fundraising car wash.

According to The Charlatan reporter Michael Sawires they have had many car washes over the summer and their most successful one was on September 20th of this year. They raised more than 700$ washing over 200 cars.

That works out to 3$ and change a car wash.

I guess they are as good as washing cars as they are at cheering for their school.


Monday, September 28, 2009


One of my fave trainwrecks is Tawny Kitaen.

Those of us of a certain age fondly remember her sprawled on the hood of a car in her then husband David Coverdale's Whitesnake video Here I Go Again a quarter century ago.

Miss Kitaen also was one of the hosts of the classic TV show America's Funniest People in the early 1990's and in 2002 assaulted her husband MLB pitcher Chuck Finley, with a stiletto heel, ending their marriage.

Later in this century she got nailed for cocaine and Saturday the star of the VH1 reality show Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew was charged with DUI.


937...Tomorrow If You Are Up At 6

Listen to me on 93.1CKCU in Ottawa or in the world.

I will have Blake Batson in studio, he is a politician and we will be talking about taxes. Even those of us who don't pay taxes pay taxes, so this pertains to you.

Carolyn Willman from Oshawa, will join me from her palace in the former motor city to let you know how you can win beaucoup de stuff.

And Bob McKenzie from TSN and the author of the new book, Hockey Dad, will join me from his perch in traffic somewhere in the GTA.

You may want to tape this one.


936...Washington News Flash

Upon returning to the District of Columbia last night after losing to the worst team in modern football history, the Detroit Lions, Washington Redskins coach Jim Zorn was arrested by the Secret Service and deported to Guantanamo Bay.

Football be serious in the Washington.

Details to follow.


935...Now On To More Important Things

The party that should be running the show will be introducing a motion today to topple the Tory government today.

The Canadian Press reports that the Liberals will table a non-confidence motion in the Commons today and bring a vote on that Thursday. According to the story I am sourcing this is probably going to fail but at least, unlike, well, not to point fingers but, Jack Layton, hello, at least Mikey I talks the talk and walks the walk.

Gilles Ducppe, the Bloc Quebecois leader, says that he will support the Liberal motion.

This week we find out if the NDPers really are true to their convictions or going to hang with their friends in the Conservative Party. Like they did earlier this month.

The NDP's only Quebec MP Thomas Mulcair said today "...the important thing is to try to keep Parliament working so that we can do things that are in the public interest.'' He failed to mention that if the election is held this fall the NDP will get beaten like a rented mule.


934...Elizabeth May Whining Again

Kamikaze pilot and leader of the Green Party, the unelectable Elizabeth May is now threatening to sue everybody if she is not allowed to debate with the big kids on national TV during the next election campaign.

In Abbas Rana's story in today's Hill Times Ms. May says that if she is not included in the debate she will ask Canadians to demand that she be included in the high profile programs.

"'Well, I think I'll have to ask Canadians to do what they did last time and deluge media with the demand that I be included. Court action was possible last time, I suppose it would be possible again,' Ms. May told The Hill Times last week."

Ms. May would be better off asking Canadians to deluge her with votes and then the point would be moot.

Next election she loses in her third time zone; three down, three to go I believe.


Sunday, September 27, 2009

933...William Safire Leaves The Planet

Reported widely, William Safire, conservative political columnist and language savant, died today at a hospice.

The reported cause of death is of pancreatic cancer.

His On Language columns ran until two weeks ago.

A Pulitzer Prize winner in '78, Mr. Safire, wrote a semi-weekly political column in the New York Times from 1973 to 2005. He wrote an erudite and opinionated series of articles, ultimately creating a body of work that he described as libertarian conservative.

Say a prayer.


932...The Answer To That Question Is Yes

I did take the Washington Redskins everywhich way but loose in the many, many, many pools I am in.


931...Detroit Lions In The House

They lead from start to finish today, ending the second longest losing streak in NFL history.

They beat the Washington Redskins 19-14 today at Ford Field, Detroit.

I would think, in the time honoured tradition of sports in North America, this momentous victory will be followed by a riot.

The view from Windsor will be incroyable.


930...More Good News For Toronto

It looks like J. P. Riccardi, the boy wonder who wasn't wonderful, is on his way out of the Big Smoke.

Steve Simmon's Last Word piece in the Sun papers today leads with "The sure to be fired J. P. Ricciardi is adamant the Blue Jays can't ever compete in the American League East because of the high spending New York Yankees and Boston Red Sox."

Great attitude, eh?

Don't let the door hit you too hard on your way out.


929...Representation By Population

Lorne Gunter, Edmonton Journal writes a big piece this morning praising the powers that be in Ottawa for shuffling the deck and making votes in his province more valuable. The headline

Rep by pop finally coming to Commons

Alberta, B. C., Ontario shortchanged too long merely to placate Quebec

shows a regional bias but he does make some good points. For example, even though we kind of assume that Parliament is equally weighted, Prince Edward Island is the province that gets the most value for their votes. A riding in PEI has about 34,000 voters; one in urban Alberta 130,000. "It takes two Alberta votes to have as much influence as one from Saskatchewan, Manitoba, Newfoundland, New Brunswick or Nova Scotia, and five from Alberta to have as much impact as four from Quebec."

Mr. Gunter goes into great detail about the mechanizations that govern how seats are assigned federally, suffice to say if we were to have true representation by population they would have to move the House of Commons down the street to the 2,300 seat National Arts Centre's Opera House.

This is a step though.


Saturday, September 26, 2009

928...Bridget Bardot Speaks

For those of you who are not history buffs the name Bridget Bardot may not resonate.

She was a film star back in the olden days, starting her career around the same time Gordie Howe did and for the past 3 decades she has been an animal rights activist, specifically picking on the Newfoundlanders who harvest less than 60,000 seals a year.

CBC News reports that this year's master plan from People For The Ethical Treatment of Animals poster person Ms. Bardot to stop the seal trade is to organize a boycott of Canadian maple syrup.

I know, makes no sense.

According to Agriculture and Agri-Food Canada, Canada produces about 85 per cent of the world's maple syrup, the rest presumably is from Vermont and New England. We schlep more than $213 million of the liquid gold to almost 45 different countries. I love that, almost 45 different countries---I presume we sell it to 44 different countries.

If the foreign markets dry up they could just sell the excess to my mom; I swear, she must drink the stuff.

Ms. Bardot, who is 75 but, due to the fact that she never wore sunblock looks closer to 175 than 75, was a sex symbol and actress and unbelievably hot, appearing in 16 films.

She is not just an animal rights activist showcased by PETA, oh no. She is also a convicted racist in her homeland of France.

Five times.

Think about that when you are putting syrup on everything tomorrow morning.


927...More From Edmonton

In light of le incident de shovel in Edmonton a few days ago, see Post 923 for more deets, I found it ironic that scattered through tonight's CFL game from Edmonton between the Eskimos and the Saskatchewan Roughriders, Rona is running adverts that feature, well, football players with shovels.

May be those spots gave Xzavie Jackson of the Esks the ideer to pick up a shovel and whack his teammate Aaron Fiacconi with it Wednesday.

Remember, shovels don't smack offensive lineman in the head, defensive linemen do.


926...More Crime In Edmonton

Well, not exactly Edmonton but, seriously, where do you think folks from Leduc, Alberta say they are from when they are on vacation?


Richard Warnica in the Edmonton Journal informs us that "Leduc RCMP are looking for the owners of 20 lawn ornaments after perhaps the least consequential crime spree in Alberta history."

Someone, the thief or perhaps his mom, dumped the ornaments on a random driveway in Leduc. There were 25 in all; owners of 5 of them stepped up to the plate and reclaimed their treasures.

If you live in the greater Leduc area please contact RCMP Constable Jodi Heidinger to get your gnome back.


925...Tobacco Troubles In La Belle

Going through a pile of this week's papers I came across an article by Steven Chase in Thursday's Globe and Mail. Apparently Rothmans, Benson & Hedges is threatening to close a Quebec factory, an enterprise that provides 300 people an income, if Ottawa doesn't narrow the scope of a bill aimed at stopping the manufacture of candy- and fruit-flavoured cigars and cigarettes.

These smokes are allegedly aimed at children and entry level smokers, although, I for one, am aghast that anyone would accuse a cigarette company of deliberately trying to increase sales of its products by hooking young people and tobacco novices to their deadly and addictive product merely by making the taste tasty.

The aforementioned plant is in Quebec City and Quebec MPs are all a twitter, a Twitter and a blogging try to prevent the passing of this bill which is on the floor of the Senate as I write this. Quebec Tory MP Maxime Bernier, you may recall the name, he had 99 Problems last year and the b**ch was one, said in a posting on his blog Wednesday that Conservatives from his province are going to press for changes to Bill C-32.

Kids and smokes, ah, love those Tories.


924...George W. Bush Costs You Money

The former POTUS is reaping the money, money that is shoved in the wallets of former United State's presidents after they leave office.

He is also costing you, a tax payer in a country that is not his country, money.

Like the one before him, Bill Clinton, President Junior is on the speaker's circuit looking to pick up a few shekels here and there.

Unlike President Clinton, President G. W. Bush attracts an unruly crowd who seem to think he is some sort of war criminal. Bill Curry in the Globe and Mail this morning reports that this is costing you beaucoup d'argent.

Security for President Bush is going to run in the half million dollar range this year. When he appeared in Toronto it cost over 100 k to protect him from harm; same town, same venue, same time for President Clinton and the cost was a tenth of that.

Libby Davies, NDP MP from British Columbia "...said private-sector firms are likely making money from these events and should be helping the government with the security costs."

Yes they should.


923...Weapons Of Mass Destruction In Edmonton

The Edmonton Eskimos, well, the headline from the Canadian Press on says it best:
Defensive End Xzavie Jackson was welcomed back on the practice field after a bizarre fight Thursday with teammate and Eskimo centre Aaron Fiacconi that led to Mr. Jackson going after him with a shovel.
Ah, that is the beauty of the Canadian Football League. Its weirdness.
The victim, Mr. Fiacconi, said that getting attacked with a shovel is all part of the wild emotions of a violent game, but noted, "We have to have some kind of control out there. It got away from us a little bit yesterday and it won't happen again."
Thank goodness for gun control.

Friday, September 25, 2009

922...WFDS: Wrong Again

Post 918 I asked Whither Elizabeth May?

She whither be on the front page of the Halifax Chronicle-Herald.

Mea culpa.

Steven Maher writes that the Green leader " predicting that Prime Minister Stephen Harper will find a way to engineer an election this fall, even as he attacks Liberal Leader Michael Ignatieff for trying to send Canadians to the polls."

The Tory reply from Dimitri Soudas was "Liz May who?"

And please allow me to point out that Ms. May is running in Saanich-Gulf Islands and is on the front page of a newspaper serving one of her old ridings, Central Nova, as far away from her new riding as one can be and still be in Canada.


921...Good News For Toronto

According to Bill Curry at the Globe and Mail NDP Generalissimo Jack Layton is not going to run for mayor of Hogtown.


920...It Was 20 Years Ago Today

In the wake of the Take Back The Night marches across our country and, I believe, our continent, marches that empower women to take back the night, I thought it is prime time to point out that one of the most empowering shows for women ever made it debut 20 years ago today.

Give or take.

It was in the fall of 1989 that Baywatch hit the air.

Snicker if you want but when you deconstruct the program you will realize that I am right on about this.

The women in Baywatch were making vital, life saving decisions on a regular basis, treated as equals in their employment field. They were powerful athletes in control of their workplace and lives for the most part.


919...Bad Customer Service

On a personal note, I just spent 57 minutes with Rogers Communications trying to explain to them that, ah, well, some cable and phone issues. I know that don't care and 2...we all have customer service stories and they all run parallel.

Sometimes, and I know you feel this way too, you just want to reach through the phone and ring Alan or Nikishia or Stephanie's little necks but you cannot because we haven't reached that point in our technology.

If we do, those jails Stephen Harper wants to build will be bursting at the seams.

Or you could do what New Yorker Dalton Chiscolm is doing.

Sick of being jerked around by the disinterested and unengaged 12 dollar an hour drones at the Bank of America call centre he is suing the B of A for time wasted.

In August Mr. Chiscolm sued the largest U.S. bank and its board, demanding that "1,784 billion, trillion dollars" be deposited into his account, presumably with another bank, the next day. He also wanted 200,164,000$ for miscellaneous damages, paper work and subway tokens.

1,784,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 $ is what he is asking for. Which, by the way, is more than the world's gross domestic product, a trifling 60 trillion according to the World Bank.

Reuters, who posted this story, could not contact Mr. Chiscolm.

Perhaps his tin foil hat fell off?


918...Whither Elizabeth May?

Like, honestly.

She is still with us, no?

Just thought, as the leader of a major party she might have somethings to say about, well, you know, the country and stuff.


917...Huntsville Here We Come

Huntsville, Ontario, the town that was a huge stepping stone in the career of Shania Twain, is going to be on the world stage next June as South Korea and Canada hold the G-20 summit.

Canadian Press has the story that Prime Minister Stephen Harper and South Korean President Myung-bak Lee made the announcement today during the G20 meetings in Steelertown.

Say what you will about Stephen Harper but I think setting this event up for the new Prime Minister, Mikey I, shows a lot of class.

There is also a G-8 summit mixed in at the meetings in late June of 2010.

I don't know why we are co hosting it with the South Koreans but we are and I haven't quite wrapped my head around the difference between G-20 and G-8 but I do know one thing: Huntsville will have more tear gas rounds per capita in late June 2010 and more protesters per capita in late June 2010 and more police per capita in late June 2010 than any other place on the planet.

I am sure that the new Prime Minister, Michael Ignatieff, will hit it out of the park in Huntsville next year.


Thursday, September 24, 2009

916...The Next World Champ Boxer From Canada

Is an Ottawan.

In today's Ottawa Sun was a story about the future champeen of the world, Jessica Pickard, who was given a conditional discharge yesterday for putting the beats on her boyfriend and her friend who she caught dancing horizontally April 27 of this year.

Megan Gillis of the Sun, who seems to get all the fun stories, reports that not only did she put the beats on her now ex and her now ex friend but she also set the woman's shoes on fire.

Wait, it gets better. Miss Pickard, 20, also admitted to Judge Dianne Nicholas that she assaulted two young women at a Kanata mall March 1st and also acknowledged doing a dance on top of a stranger's Volkswagen Jetta April 12th causing 1500$ in damage.

Wonder if she is single?

Fingers crossed.


915...DidNotWorkInThe U. S. So It Will Work Here

Or not.

I am leaning toward not.

Our beloved Prime Minister and his boyz are going to bring United States style prisons to The Great White North and according to Michael Jackson, not the dead one, this one is a professor at the University of British Columbia, the idea sucks.

Graham Stewart co authored the report with Professor Jackson A Flawed Compass and is quoted by CBC News as saying that ""It tramples human rights and human dignity..."

Their report provides a scathing review of a government blueprint for corrections called A Roadmap to Strengthening Public Safety.

The whole idea behind Roadmap is to punish not rehabilitate according to Professor Jackson and Mr. Stewart and is a recipe for violence. The CBC News story indicates that "... the program will eliminate gradual release and deny inmates rights that are now entrenched in the Constitution."

Apparently, according to the report, the Tory government has already allocated hundreds of millions to the plan, even though it has had no input from either Parliament or the public.

Mr. Stewart is quoted as saying the Conservative's plan is " ideological rant, which flies in the face of the Correctional Service's own research of what works to rehabilitate prisoners and ensure community safety."

Public Safety Minister Peter Van Loan said, and I am paraphrasing, that Professor Jackson and Mr. Stewart are full of it.


914...Did You Hear? There Is A Flu Going Around


I have heard about it.

You have heard about it.

Everybody has heard about it.

Everybody except the people who order vaccines for kids apparently.

Caroline Alphonso and Jane Armstrong in today's Globe and Mail write that about 100 students at Notre Dame Regional Secondary School in Vancouver didn't show up for class yesterday, either due to illness or because they were afraid of contracting the H1N1 virus. A student was confirmed to have been infected with H1N1 at the school but the vaccines are still not available.

St. Patrick's Regional Secondary, also in Vancouver, and Shawnigan Lake School, a boarding school on Vancouver Island, also had swine flu cases. Perfect, flu at a boarding school, whatever could go wrong.

Wait, there is more. At Elsie Roy public elementary in Vancouver, 113 of 329 pupils were absent, as well as six staff members. Flu fears.

A vaccine likely won't be rolled out until mid-November, although federal, read Stephen Harper's Conservatives, officials have indicated it could be pushed forward if the swine flu virus quickly turns more severe.

The country below us, the one with the supposedly crap health care system, the United States, will start its H1N1 vaccine campaign early next month.

Perhaps, and this is just a thought, the Tories could send body bags to Elsie Roy, St. Patrick's and the rest of the schools on the west coast?

No need to be unprepared right Leona?


913...Another Reason To Hate Toronto

Add this to the list:

Tories making inroads in Toronto, poll suggests-CBC‏

EKOS new poll done for the CBC shows the Tories with a five point lead, 42 to 37 on the Liberals in the Greater Toronto Area.


What are y'all thinking and drinking in the Big Smoke?


Wednesday, September 23, 2009

912...Political Staffers Make Too Much Money

From the Regina Leader-Post comes the story that NDP Leader Dwain Lingenfelter is calling for political staffers' wages to be rolled back.

If you work on the Hill, a constit office, Mr. Lingenfelter is gunning for you and your pay cheque. And you know how this stuff works, if one province decides to freeze pay for you, they all will. Soon that 7 dollars an hour you are making [add it up, how many of your friends outside of politics are on call 100 hours a week?] will seem like the good old days.

In his first official press conference since being elected as an MLA in a byelection Monday night, Mr. Lingenfelter took particular aim at salaries received by some of those who work for cabinet ministers.

You know, I think that Mr. Lingenfelter, like the people who brought in donation and spending limits for elections, I think that his heart is in the right place. His brain though is not.

It is really undemocratic to pay those of you who work on the Hill less than the rates paid off the Hill. And it is elitist. If Mr. Lingenfelter de professionalizes the industry the only ones who will be available to work for politicians are those who don't really need the money: young adults who come from a background of privilege, trust funders, members of the elites. From the look of the young staffers on the Hill we may actually be at that point in Ottawa now.

In the same way that professionalizing the Olympics made the Olympics more open to all classes of people and made sport more egalitarian, offering careers and proper wages to those who support MPs, MLAs, MNAs etcetera is the best way of ensuring that the people who support our elected members are more representative of the community as a whole.

Ditto election spending limits; Obama couldn't happen in Canada.


911...PM Harper Repatriates Timbit

The biggest consumer of branded products I know, 93.1 CKCU's tic, will be proud of his Prime Minister this day.

Stephen Harper met with Tim Horton's executives today after shareholders of the multinational coffee chain voted to reorganize as a Canadian public company. The Canadian Press reports that the PM says that the reason Timmy's is moving back to our home and native land from the home of the free and the land of the brave is because of the Conservative policies of lower taxes that are attracting business to Canada.

Welcome home.


910...Swedish Bra Explosions

And meltdowns.

You gotta love Sweden, the Volvo, Ikea, bra malfunctions. I was checking out The Local, an English language Swedish paper and they reported that the Swedish armed forces have been hit by a major equipment problem. Flimsy military brassieres are unable to stand up to the strains imposed when female Swedish troops perform rigorous exercise which cause the bras to routinely burst open. Sometimes they even catch fire forcing busty young conscripts to hurriedly strip off in the field.

There have been concerns raised over the last two decades by the Swedish Conscription Council, an organisation concerned with the rights of conscript troops in the Swedish forces, about bra management.

Amazingly the male dominated hierarchy of the Swedish Army has not done a thing to prevent these malfunctions from occurring. Impromptu strip downs in the field do not worry the men in charge of the military.


909...Why Don't They Do This At Carleton?

You know at Carleton University, my alma mater, Canada's 46th best university by the way, they, they being the Carleton University Student's Association are always whining about high tuition and fees.

Not that they don't have a point, don't get me started, tuition and fees are ridiculously high and that makes it difficult for many who are not either driven, monied or both to experience the joys and benefits of higher education.

But these protests are often futile and tend to blend one into the next.

Not at UC Davis in Davis, California. As reported on CBS13, Sacremento's choice for breaking news, a group of undergraduate students staged a naked rally yesterday in protest of tuition hikes and and budget cuts. A dozen naked students urged students, staff and faculty to participate in a one day walkout scheduled for Thursday.

Would someone please pass this along to CUSA?


908...Selecting Out In Montreal

Louise Harel, who is one of the two major candidates in the November 1st Montreal mayoralty election, the other being two time mayor Gérald Tremblay, has decided that she is not comfortable enough in the language of 12 per cent of the population of Montreal, English, and the language preferred by the 20 per cent of the city that are cheerfully referred to as allophones, English, so she will not debate Mayor Tremblay on CTV Montreal.

The Montreal Gazette rolls with that news on its front page this morning informing all that the half-hour debate would have taken place Oct. 25, a week before the Nov. 1 vote, and Ms. Harel, a former Parti Quebecois minister, had been offered any combination of simultaneous translation. Not good enough.

Ms. Harel was the minister of municipal affairs who forced amalgamation in communities like Hull/Aylmer/Gatineau and in Montreal and and her track record indicates that she doesn't listen to others' opinions unless they agree with her.

She has selected out the 12 per cent anglo vote and the 20 per cent allophone vote but is crushing the incumbent among the 68 per cent of Montrealers who are francophones.


907...Old Times, Cool Play, Tonite Til Oct 2

This morning I chatted with James Richardson from Third Wall Theatre Company about his presentation of the Old Times at the Irving Greenberg Theatre Centre, which runs from tonight until October 3rd at the Holland and Wellington, Ottawa, venue.

The play, which is in an intimate 80 seat theatre, was written by the late Harold Pinter in the 1970s and has been updated and contemporized.

While preparing to go to see Old Times recall the words of the author himself: "The past is what you remember, imagine you remember, convince yourself you remember, or pretend you remember.” Stirring.

For tickets please call 613 236 5196.


Tuesday, September 22, 2009

906...I Love The Conservative Gov Of Canada

I really, really, really do.

Everyday they bring joy into my life.

If it ain't one t'ing it's another.

Today, according to the Canadian Press, a reputable group that, the help line introduced today by Fisheries Minister Gail Shea, a number that was developed to help Maritime lobster fishers in need of help about a short-term assistance program, turns out to be manned by "...a sultry-sounding woman [who] offers callers 'some tantalizing fun' from a bevy of 'nasty girls.'"

Sadly for lobstermen and lobsterlesbians in Newfoundland, Quebec and the Gulf, their toll free number is not manned by sultry women, 'tis merely a help line.

Ah, the Tories. Anything for a laugh and bit of slap and tickle.


905...93.1CKCU Tomorrow Morning At Six

It is moi with Carolyn Willman, the contest queen from Oshawa on the telephone and in studio, good Lord willing and the traffic ain't too bad, tic.

Also in studio James Richardson who is the artistic associate & general director of the Third Wall Theatre Company which has a play starting tonight called Old Times which is at the Great Canadian Theatre Company, corner of Wellington and Holland in the West End of Ottawa.

Who knows, I may have tickets to give away.

Tune in, svp.


904...Lansdowne Park

A park in Ottawa about 3 kms south of Parliament Hill, Lansdowne has been a park since 1868 and has had a stadium since 1889. Last refitted completely in the mid 1960's the time has come to redo Lansdowne.

My friend and Ottawa Centre MPP Yasir Naqvi sent me a note with a list of meeting places next week that will be dealing with this issue, an issue that doesn't just impact Ottawa but also impacts the country.

Public Consultation Schedule

Monday, September 28, 6 to 9 p.m.
Lansdowne Park, Salon A
1015 Bank Street

Tuesday, September 29, 6 to 9 p.m.
Ron Maslin Playhouse, Lobby
1 Ron Maslin Way, Kanata

Wednesday, September 30, 6 to 9 p.m.
Ottawa City Hall, Jean Pigott Place
110 Laurier Avenue West

Thursday, October 1, 6 to 9 p.m.
Jim Durrell Complex, Elwood Hall
1265 Walkley Road

Monday, October 5, 6 to 9 p.m.
Tom Brown Arena, Hall
141 Bayview Road

Tuesday, October 6, 6 to 9 p.m.
Shenkman Arts Centre, Lower Lobby
245 Centrum Boulevard, Orléans

903...How I Understand Canada

From Michael Ignatieff's True Patriot Love.

We Canadians have trouble believing in ourselves because we live next door to a country that has mythic dimensions. It is also an invented country, but its act of self-invention has proven to be the most stupendously successful in history.
Canadians can only envy the scriptural sublime of America's Founding Fathers and the self-confidence that the American faith seems to engender in every citizen. In our neighbours' infuriating sense of self-importance, Canadians glimpse how love of country penetrates the souls of its citizens, how profoundly it shapes the character of a people. We wonder why such faith does not inhabit our own souls.
Next to the American experiment, Canada's very identity can appear to be nothing more than what Sigmund Freud once called the narcissism of minor difference. After all, we look like them. We buy the same cars. We dress and talk the same way. We holiday in the same places. We root for the same baseball and football teams.
Our differences appear minor and our emphasis upon their importance can seem self-absorbed and trivial. We care more than we should about the distinctive vowel sounds that mark out a Canadian speaking in an American crowd. We care more than we like to admit about beating the Americans at hockey. We know these are small things, but we invest them with defining significance.
We are right to do so. While some of our differences count as minor, others are major indeed. They rebelled against the British. We stayed loyal. They founded a republic. We sought responsible government within the empire. We speak French. They don't.
We owe the Americans much -- it's hard to imagine how we could have remained either free or independent had they not too been a free and independent people.
But our freedom is different, both in general and in detail: no right to bear arms north of the 49th, and no capital punishment either. They had the Wild West. We had the Mounties. Rights that are still being fought for south of the border -- public health care, for example -- have been ours for a generation. A woman's right to choose is secure here; there it remains contested ground. These differences are major, and the struggle to maintain them, while pursuing ever deeper integration with their richer economy, is the enduring challenge, not just of our identity but of our statecraft.
Establishing a uniting national myth beside a nation as powerful and as supremely gifted at myth-making as the United States is never going to be easy. The country that gave us Hollywood and Disneyland casts a glare that makes it hard to see the Canadian shape in the snow.
Besides, we cannot create a single myth, like the United States, because we have three competing ones, English Canadian, French Canadian and aboriginal. Three peoples share a state without sharing the same sense of the country at all. It is small wonder, then, that we have never been sure we can continue to imagine a common future.
Nearly 20% of our citizens are also foreign-born, from every country under the sun. Only Australia counts as many foreign-born nationals among her citizens. These Canadians frequently hold passports from other countries and import the attachments, passions and, occasionally, the ethnic and religious rivalries of their nations of birth.
The loyalties of new Canadians are complex, transitional, sometimes divided. When granting them citizenship, their new country does not ask them to choose Canada and renounce all others. Even so, new Canadians have turned out to be among the most devoted citizens in the country.
Why? Because we remain a land of hope and opportunity, and new Canadians see in our unfinished destiny an image of their own unfinished destinies. Despite these challenges, or because of them, most of us are quietly but intensely patriotic. Our nationalism exemplifies the paradox that feeling for a country increases with the difficulty of imagining it as a country at all.
Imagining what we share is not easy. Imagining this land is never just to imagine it as it appears to you alone. It is to imagine it as an Inuit person might see it, a vast white place where the only sign of Canada is the Mountie detachment in the snow-girt command post at the edge of the settlement.
To imagine it as a citizen is to imagine it as a resident of Yellow Quill reservation in Saskatchewan would have had to imagine it, this Canada where two half-naked children died in a snow-covered field in the sub-Arctic darkness because their father tried to take the sick little girls to his parents and never made it, and all you can hope is that death was as mercilessly quick as the cold can make it. What does a resident of Yellow Quill imagine, what do we Canadians imagine our country to be, the morning we learn that children have perished in this way? It is surely more than just a tragic story of one family. It is a story about us.
To imagine Canada, you have to walk a mile in the moccasins of others. In other countries, where language, ethnicity and myths of origin are shared, less empathy is required and more simple identification, one citizen to the other, may be possible. Not with us. To imagine Canada as a citizen requires that you enter into the mind of someone who does not believe what you believe or share what matters to you.
You have to imagine the country as a Quebecois might see it, a Quebecois who never felt attachment to the flag, to Parliament, to the memories of sacrifice that move you, sometimes, to tears. This is a fellow citizen who voted oui in referendums in 1980 and 1995 to break up the country, or, as it was presented at the time, to negotiate a new relationship between a sovereign Quebec and the rest of Canada. These referendums were the defining crisis of our recent history. We came within an inch of dissolution. We are still absorbing the lessons of a near-death experience.
One of these lessons is that to survive as a country, we have to imagine what we have trouble understanding. We have no choice. A contract of mutual indifference between French and English will only defer the evil day. We must learn to live together now.
The Quebecois who lost the two referendums remain fellow citizens of Canada. They may not want to be here at all, and may still dream of independence one day. Yet we must all work together, if only until the next moment of rupture. Those Quebecois will have to understand the intensity of an attachment to Canada they do not feel themselves. We all have to understand, if not respect, the dream they live for. To be a citizen of Canada is to imagine the feelings of those who do not believe what we believe.
In Canada, empathy has to encompass 33 million people, with competing and conflicting myths of origin, spread across four time zones, in five distinct economic regions, speaking, at least at home, almost every language spoken in the world and, in public, two official languages. In spite of everything, we have managed to keep this project in being for one hundred and forty years. This is no mean feat and, in a world ravaged by difference, it is our example to the world.

902...MoreTalkingOutOfBoth Sides Of Their Mout's

This time it is Alex Atamanenko in the Nelson Daily News explaining how, as the MP for the BC Southern Interior, the NDP MP for the BC Southern Interior, he is not supporting the Conservatives he is just voting for them.

In fact, Colin Paynes writes, Mr. Atamanenko "...says the federal NDP has done Canadians a favour by voting for EI reform and helping avoid an election." See, and if you have boots, put them on now please, "...his party did not support the Conservatives, but it supported the initiative."

By the way, and this comes as no surprise, Mr. Atamanenko, a retired school teacher, was first elected to Parliament in 2006 and he needs three more years to get his pension. Not that personal interests would supercede the interests of the country and of his riding. It pains me to think that anyone would consider that a man of Mr. Atamanenko's regard would be thinking of his pension at a time like this when BC Southern Interior, West Kootenay and the country are in peril.


901...This Is Not Gun Safety

But it is culling the herd.

From the KMOV St. Louis website comes a story about a brainiac in Imperial, Missouri, 40-years-old James Looney who was teaching his girlfriend firearm safety.

In an alcohol induced haze the appropriately named Mr. Looney would show the different safety mechanisms to his girly girl, put the gun to his head, and ask if the gun would go off. Mr. Looney apparently did this with two other weapons and varied safety mechanisms, before the last one went off.

It only takes one bullet in the head to cull the herd.


900...Champions Don't Make Excuses; NDPers Do

Steve Wicary in today's Globe and Mail talks about why " party cannot, in good conscience, vote down legislation that is a step in the right direction."

By " party..." he of course means Jack Layton's party, the NDP, a party that if they drew Canadians into an election would get beaten like a rented mule.

Mr. Wicary writes that "Jack Layton explains himself in the op/ed pages of the Ottawa Citizen. The New Democratic Party, he says, is supporting the Prime Minister's legislation on employment insurance reform - not the government as a whole."

And the fact that they are, when you factor in the margin of error, at less than 10 per cent in the national polls and face probable ruin if an election were held this fall has nothing to do with Mr. Layton's stand.

Yeah, surrrrrrrrrrre.


Monday, September 21, 2009

899...The Next Prime Minister Speaks The Truth

The Canadian Press reports that in a speech to the Toronto Board of Trade earlier Monday the next Prime Minister of Canada said that upon taking office he would open the books and conduct a full audit of public finances.

Michael Ignatieff said that the Conservatives have made a mess of Canada's economy and that his party will be the one to clean it up.

After four years of Stephen Harper's Conservative reign of error Mr. Ignatieff suggests that we ask the question "Are we better off than we were four years ago?''


898...Stuff To Do Tuesday

Here is what is on the calendar:

Gilles Duceppe is rolling out his Quebec City BQ candidates just in case at 10 at Hotel Pur, Salle J, 395, rue de la Couronne in Quebec City. Across town earlier that morning, say around 8 30, Justin Trudeau will be at Cegep de Ste-Foy's Place Publique talking to students at the school.

In Ontario our Premier, Dalton McGuinty, will be in Earlton, Ontario [I dunno where that is either; MapQuest it] helping to open International Ploughing Match.

But the highlight of the day will be in New Brunswick, Woodstock is the town, where the arraignment for Larry Beaton, who has been charged with smuggling over $100,000 of illegal menopause treatment cream into Canada will be going down.

I will in the front row for those proceedings wearing my grey sombrero.


897...Stephen Harper Is Heading To Pittsburgh

I hope he brought his Terrible Towel.


896...I Am On The Wireless Tomorrow Morning

93.1 in Ottawa/Gatineau.

With Concillia Muonde to talk about Take Back The Night which goes down on Thursday. It is a march where women TBTN. No dudes, just womyn marching in many cities in our country [and their country too] to TBTN.

Although I am not a fan of anything that is exclusionary, I think that selecting out is counter productive, I am a big fan of Concillia Muonde and am glad to get the word out.

Later in the hour that starts at six I will have Neil deMause from to get his view on the Lansdowne sitch in Ottawa.

For those of you not current on Lansdowne, it is one of the most important pieces of public land on the continent. A public park since 1868 Lansdowne is up for a well need refitting. The question is who is going to do it and who is going to pay for it.

Look, federal money is going to be involved so if you are in Moose Jaw, Halifax or Saanich-Gulf Islands this impacts you.


895...In The Loop

Let me remind all politicals in Ottawa the new AmericanBritish film In The Loop is at the Bytowne on Rideau all this week.

For showtimes and what not go to

This film is so you.


894...How About Them Blue Jays

Man, the season was so promising into May there and then the wheels fell off.

As I write this they are 66 wins and 83 losses. If memory serves they were in first place mid May so I would think that they pretty much have the worst record in MLB since Victoria Day.

At the quarter point of the season they were 27-14. Since then they are 39-69.

I think it is all Stephen Harper's fault.


893...Speaking Of Heat

The Canadian Press' Murray Brewster passes along the news that the next Prime Minister is making Jack Layton squirm. The heat was turned up on the Dippers yesterday when Mikey I declared that they'll soon have to make a choice whether they are true believers in Prime Minister Stephen Harper and the minority Conservative government.

Principles or pensions is the question at the New Democratic Party's federal caucus meets these days.

The NDP spin is that "Instead of playing games, Mr. Ignatieff should look at his record," these words emerging from the mouth of spokesman Karl Belanger Sunday. "He propped up Stephen Harper for 79 confidence votes in a row and got nothing in return. The NDP is making Parliament work, trying to get a billion dollars to help the unemployed."


892...The Colder It Gets In The Hotter It Gets

Mid morning in Ottawa, last day of summer, and even though the high is going to be 23 right now it is a drafty 5.

As a veteran of this town I know that the colder it gets in Ottawa the hotter it gets in Ottawa.

This week is going to be warmish during the days and coldish at night therefore I predict that it will be a mellow week, a week that is spent doing the end of summer things but next week when it snaps cold the Hill will get hot.


Sunday, September 20, 2009

891...How To Watch Football

Nine 63 inch TVs.

One movie screen size TV.

John Madden is being interviewed by Bob Costa's on the halftime show of the Cowboys/Giants game on NBC and has just revealed that that is how he now watches football on Sundays.

That rocks.



890...More On Cheerleaders

The Carleton University ones.

There were a pair of field hockey games at my alma mater and the Ravens are struggling on the pitch, Michelle McEvoy and her club lost two on Saturday and are in tough today.

They could use support.

Cheerleaders perhaps.

And, of course the Carleton cheerleaders were there.

Wait, no, that's wrong.

The Carleton cheerleaders were not there.

No, as seems to be their Sunday tradition, they were standing on Bronson at Catherine holding signs saying "Honk if you love cheerleaders."

Like, hello, often cheerleaders for universities [and high schools and colleges and pro sports teams and and and] cheer for the teams that represent the university.

Oy vey.


889...Elizabeth May: This Time I Mean It

The leader of the Green Party has been strangely absent from the on going crisis on the Hill in Ottawa.

At least that is what I thought.

Wrong again, World Famous, wrong again.

Ms. May was absent because she was relocating to her new home, in Saanich-Gulf Islands, the riding that she had to fight the whiny Stuart Hertzog in a nomination process that culminated in her victory yesterday on Vancouver Island.

She told Brian Hutchinson of the National Post that ‘‘'I'm getting kind of a bad rap. Oooh, she moves here, she moves there.'" But this time, she says, she has found a riding that she will stick to. To that end on Monday, the furniture arrives and the Green leader will move into her new home. The house is rented, but the move, she insists, is quite permanent.

Although I am the farthest thing from a fan of either the Green Party or Ms. May and I think Ms. May is a kamikaze pilot and her campaign is going to crash going against the Minister of Sport, Gary Lunn, if she sticks around, puts down roots, becomes a local community activist, well, y'never know, do you? I mean, it ain't going to happen this time for her, I will bet you any money honey, any, but if she sticks around for the election after the next election it may happen for her.


888...NDP At A Crossroads

Your Toronto Star has a piece from Angelo Persichilli that summarizes the dilemma that Jack Layton and the Dippers are in. One can synthesize the problem to this concise paragraph:

There is a split in the party. There are some who are tired of being in opposition and want to be in government. Others would prefer to remain in opposition and keep preaching what is right for Canadians without being bothered by the annoying question of what is possible. Going in either direction presents some problems for the NDP leader. However, the worst decision is not to make one at all and risk losing both options.
We have seen this movie before with Ed Broadbent and I am willing to wager that Mr. Layton will dilly and dally and squander whatever political capital the NDP and their 36 seats have.

887...Things That Are Not Candy

1. Cocaine.

The Newark Star-Ledger, the paper of record in the Garden City of the Garden State, reports that Shaheed Wright was worried that the police were closing in on his cocaine dealing business so he stashed the rocks in his four year old's jacket, telling junior that the powder was candy.

The curious little boy brought the candy to his Newark daycare and passed out to his friends, one of whom, a little girl ate it. She, along with Mr. Wright's son and two other toddlers suspected of eating cocaine were rushed to Beth Israel Medical Center in Newark where they were found to be a-ok.

A freaked out and apologetic Mr. Wright is accused of endangering the welfare of a child, possession of a controlled substance with intent to distribute and other charges, including employing a juvenile in a narcotics scheme. He is being held on 400,000$ bail which, for a man from the projects, may as well be 400,000,000,000,000,000,000$ bail.


886...Mikey I Goes On The Offensive

I believe it was homecoming week or something in Kitchener-Waterloo this weekend, I do know that The Score had a football game between Laurier and Waterloo on the tube. For those of you wondering who won said game, let me tell you that Joe Paopao is coaching at Waterloo so you know that Laurier won.

Tying in with homecoming was a visit by the next Prime Minister of Canada Michael Ignatieff who, as Chuck Howitt reports in this mornings Waterloo Region Record, made a visit to Wilf's, a pub on campus at Sir Wilfrid Laurier University. While having a pop or two Mr. Ignatieff, and I am quoting here, "...attacked the Liberals on a broad range of issues, including the rising deficit, high unemployment, its response to the H1N1 flu epidemic and its failure to fix the problem over medical isotopes."

Note to Chuck Howitt: I don't believe that Mikey I attacked the Liberals; you may want to reread things before you send them to your somnolent proof reading staff at The Record.
I am going to assume Mr. Ignatieff attacked the Conservative Party and rightfully so.
Two victories for Laurier on Saturday. One a win over the crosstown Waterloo Warriors and secondly a visit from the next PM.
Good times, good times.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

885...The Headline Says It All

NDP support for Tories sign of broader strategy, analysts say (NDP-Switcharoo)

The Byrds sang Turn, Turn, Turn in 1965; Jack Layton sings Spin, Spin, Spin in 2009.

After a gazillion years of not supporting the anathema that is the Conservative Party of Canada the NDP did a nice 180 degree turn this week propping up the Stephen Harper regime so they, the Tories, can fight another day and shape Canada in the Conservative image.

The above Canadian Press headline is reflective of the both the spin "...broader strategy..." and reality "...Switcharoo...".

The broader strategy is the Dips strat to rule the country by being more practical and accessible and acceptable to Canuckistanians in the same way Premier Darrell Dexter appeals to the Nova Scotians.

The switcharoo is their selling their souls to save their thirty plus seats, a number that will go way, way, way down [Julie Van Dusen on CBC Radio Friday mentioned the magic number could be crazy, as in eight] if we hit the polls this fall.


884...I Love College

Beer bongs.

Thirsty Tuesdays.

Wicked Wednesdays.

Sing it Asher.

I especially like the Carleton University Ravens soccer team.

A bunch of girls who drank themselves out of the season and the season has barely started.

Yes, that's my alma mater.

Go Red.

For those of you not current on the situation, pick up today's Ottawa Citizen and note that initiation night for the '09 women's soccer team involved one young lady going to the hospital coz she was ultra smashed.

And for this athletic director Jennifer Brenning pulled the team off the field for this weekend's matches against Ryerson and the University of Toronto and perhaps for the season.

Balls to the wall Ms. Brenning but good on you.

You are right but Asher Roth was righter.

The only criticism I would have would be that there is not a word about this incident on


883...In Conversation: Francois Gourd

I had the opportunity to talk with Francois Gourd, the leader of the Neo Rhino Party, a renaissance as it were of the old Rhino Party. The Rhinos were and the Neo Rhinos are parties that take the piss out of the Canadian political process for sure.

But, try as he may to not be serious, Mr. Gourd, who has run unsuccessfully for a seat in Ottawa on two occasions, once getting almost fifteen hundred votes, the second time achieving less than ten per cent of those votes, made a couple of pretty interesting points in our convo yesterday.

First off, in addressing the situation of Quebec, separation and Canadian unity, Mr. Gourd suggested that all provinces separate and we run our country like the European Economic Community. Food for thought.

Secondly he wants Quebec to, upon the demise of Fidel Castro's regime in Cuba, to absorb, annex, whatever, Cuba. It's not Florida, but it is sunny and Quebeckers would adapt especially if Cuba was Quebec Sud. More food for thought.

Sometimes the wisest man is the one playing the fool, eh?


882...I Love Brian Mulroney

Well, I don't, although I have a framed Aislin cartoon of Lyin' Brian on my wall with his hand over his heart, a tear in his eye and the Amurican flag as a back drop, but a lot, and by a lot I mean a lot of Tories sure enough do.

There was a a huge I Love Muldoon clusterf'ck in Montreal Thursday and Don Martin of the Calgary Herald was there. He waxed poetically about it with Adrian Harewood on CBC Ottawa's Radio One yesterday afternoon and he goes on and on and on about it in this morning's paper. Mr. Martin is a pretty cool writer in my view and he makes a few very interesting points when contrasting the most accomplished Conservative Prime Minister of the last century with the most accomplished Conservative Prime Minister of this century.

One of the things he pointed out on CBC yesterday afternoon was that the room was full of everyone who was everyone from the right side of centre, from Jean Charest and his Parti Liberal du Quebec to the Reformers and Canadian Alliance types from the West. That was Mr. Mulroney's secret: he truly did unite the right, right down to rightists that were and are Quebec nationalists.

"As one current Conservative MP accurately noted: 'There will never be a Harper 25. Mulroney did a thousand little things for his people and some came a long way to pay a hundred bucks just to show their respect and appreciation.' "

Scary as it might seem to those of us who are coming from the other end of the spectrum, if Prime Minister Harper could be a little more motivational and less confrontational inside his own party, he too could have a big ass majority like Muldoon's and do some serious long term damage.

Lee Richardson, an MP from Calgary postulated that "This event could be the pivotal point to bringing our people together again. Look around here at this amazing turnout. I think we can do it again."

Perfect, just what we need.


Friday, September 18, 2009

881...You Are Owed Money

According to the story I am quoting from Janice Tibbetts, Canwest News Service, "Local telephone customers in urban areas are eligible for rebates totalling about $300 million, the Supreme Court of Canada ruled Friday."

That works out to about 20 dollars a person for 15 million customers or, to put it in WFDS terms, a medium 3 topping pizza delivered including a nice tip.

Good news, finally.


880...Gotta Ask:Why/How R Tories Ahead In Polls?

As Detroit and Montreal are to cities, they are where the unthinkable happens on a regular basis; the Conservative Party of Canada is to political parties, they are where the unthinkable happens on a regular basis.

Yet, and let's be realistic folks, if an election were held today Stephen Harper and his crew would get more seats than the Liberals and form yet another minority parliament.

What the f'ck do these guys have to do to convince Canadians that they are unfit to govern?

Take this week. The Health Minister's department sends body bags, properly called post mortem kits because it is more than just a bag, there are toe tags and everything, before vaccine to remote communities in Manitoba, remote aboriginal communities.

They are going to skate. Sure, the native leaders are pissed. "It was insulting," said David Harper, Grand Chief of the Manitoba Keewatinowi Okimakanak, quoted in today's Globe and Mail. "Body bags may be part of flu preparations, but so is medications. Why do we get body bags before we get medication?" The chattering classes are also pissed but the inbetweens, the ones who decide elections, not so much.

Wait, there is more.

The former national caucus chair, married to a minister, Helena Guergis, Rahim Jaffer, got busted for drinking and driving and cocaine. What makes this ironic in the GOP kind of way is Mr. Jaffer, the only Conservative to lose in Alberta last year, pinned his electoral hopes in 2008, as reported on Global National last night, on smearing the NDP as pro drugs with attack ads. The arrest of an anti drug champion on multiple drug charges is, well, ironic, doncha think?

Yet the Conservatives are going to skate and spin their way out of this too and continue to lead in the polls.



879...Windsor Ontario Window On Weird

Weird being Detroit.

Seriously, Detroit is a lot like Montreal in this respect. It is a city where the unthinkable happens on a regular basis.

Former mayor of Detroit Kwame Kirkpatrick comes to mind.

This week's weird comes from former Detroit Lions' running back Charles Rogers. He started his week by getting sued for 6.1 million by his former employers who want their bonus money back coz Mr. Rogers, a huge college star up the road at Michigan State, winner of the Fred Biletnikoff Trophy as best receiver in the country who was drafted second overall in 2003, sucked horribly as a professional football player, in part because he was high much of his short career. High enough to get suspended by the NFL three times for using recreational drugs.

Mr. Rogers mid week crisis happened at two o'clock Tuesday afternoon
when he was found by the suburban Novi, Michigan police passed out at the wheel of his in gear Benz. By the way, he was in the middle of making a left hand turn when he passed out.

He refused a breathalyser so the police took blood and this morning Drew and Mike on WRIF report that his blood alcohol content was .114.

You thought you had a bad week.


878...Habs Win

Summer is not even over and the happy words above are the front page of this morning's Montreal Gazette.

The Bell Centre was rocking Thursday night as the hockey version of the New Kids on the Block led the Canadiens to a 3-2 victory over the Florida Panthers in the team's first exhibition game.

I missed the RDS broadcast; what did Senator Jacques Demers have to say? Did he pimp both the Habs and his new boss Stephen Harper? Or, was he Senatorial and did not show up for work. Just asking.


Thursday, September 17, 2009

877...The Tories And Environment Canada Listen

To your news station, at least the one you watch the most, FOX.

They wouldn't use water bottles nor would they waste power.

In fact on the bottom of the email they sent me they are advising you and, I suppose, me, to
Plug your electronic devices into a power strip and turn it off whenever you leave the house. This small change could save the country over $1 billion a year in wasted electricity.
Green It.
Mean It.
Shades of Stephane.

876...Environment Canada Still Clued Out

One of the biggest purchasers of bottle water is Environment Canada.

Joe Cressy, the head of the Polaris Institute, is quoted by Glen McGregor in today's Ottawa Citizen as saying "The government of Canada has an absolutely appalling practice of spending millions of dollars on a wasteful product instead of investing in a long-term alternative, the public tap. The government of Canada is pouring money literally down the drain."

I can testify that the tap water in Ottawa is quite tasty; meme chose a Gatineau.


875...Send The Vaccine First;Then If It Doesn'tWork

Send the body bags.

While our Prime Minister was talking hockey in the States his Health Minister, Leona Aglukkaq, was sending body bags to several First Nations communities in Manitoba that may be ravaged by the upcoming swine flu epidemic.

The next Prime Minister, Mikey I, is quoted by Megan Fitzpatrick of Canwest News Services as stating that sending body bags is bad optics and that " sends a message that simply says, we expect aboriginal Canadians to die..." Four reserves said they received body bags in shipments from Health Canada on Tuesday. The shipments also included hand sanitizer and face masks. Apparently the only thing missing in the kit was, wait for it, vaccine.

This is the crew that Charles W. Moore thinks we should give a majority to.



874...$29,387 Tip

If you were ever a server or a bartender you know that is a big motherf'ing tip.

That's a down payment on a house. Or, if you live in a small town, that is a house.

That is the gratuity that the South Bend Tribune reports that Sara Gaspar recieved on her cheque from Notre Dame, a local university in South Bend, best known for their losing football team, in mid April of this year.

Turned out that the grat was supposed to be for $29.87 not $29,387.00.

Miss Gaspar says that when she got the cheque she called the uni and was told by her supervisors that the check wasn't a mistake. She then spent the money on little things like bills and buying a new car. Now Notre Dame, the home of the losing football team, that Notre Dame, wants the money back. Miss Gaspar's attorney says so sad, too bad.

I think that the whole thing is karma for Notre Dame having a nickname that is negative towards my people: The Notre Dame Fighting Irish.


873...More Tory Propaganda

This time from a more credible source, Peter Worthington, in the Toronto Sun.

Mr. Worthington postulates that the next Prime Minister of Canada, Michael Ignatieff, may be getting bored with partisan politics and may just be gerrymandering an election so he can get defeated and go back to scribbling books and sipping champagne on the international smart guy circuit.

The emminent Toronto Sun writer goes on to say that he is speculating and that now that both the Bloc Quebecois and NDP seem to have backed off what was sure-fire election agitation a couple of weeks ago, maybe Mr. Ignatieff is now captive of election-mania rather than its instigator. He also makes the important point that since the Tories seem likely to benefit most if there's an election, maybe Stephen Harper will provoke one.

After a few hundred words disparaging partisan politics, Mr. Worthington does point out that Mikey I is an intriguing fellow and that it would be surprising if one as bright at the next PM wasn't distracted a bit by the goings on on the Hill.