Thursday, May 31, 2012

4699...Chad Ochocinco Is Vexed

The Globe and Mail reports that the New England Patriot's wide out is upset coz his SUV got jacked a week or two ago.

The bad guys took his car, his wallet and, most importantly, his Starbuck's Gold Card.

The great man was quoted as asking "You know how many coffees I have had to drink and lemon loaves I've had to purchase to get that?"

I told you.  Celebrities are just like the little people.


4698...Racism Rears Its Ugly Head

From Len Berman's That's Sports:

A former English soccer player who is black has warned his minority countrymen not to travel to the European Soccer Championships this summer. The tournament is being hosted by Poland and Ukraine. Sol Campbell fears racism and violence. Here's his quote: "Stay at home, watch it on TV. Don't even risk it ... because you could end up coming back in a coffin." Ukraine is said to be an unfriendly destination for blacks, Asians and gays. This is what sports has come to?

Nice , eh?


Wednesday, May 30, 2012

4697...Pot Banging Hits Ottawa

It wasn't a symphonic caphony but there was some noise on Elgin Street, which is one of the main bar and restaurant districts in Ottawa.

Did not see my friend Dan The Bus Driver out there but then I didn't have my glasses with me.



4696...Stanley Won't Come Home

And it has been a long, long, longggggg time since he has been in Our Home And Native Land.

Tonight it is New Jersey's Devils against the Los Angeles Kings from the hockey hub of Newark, N.J.

L.A. is favoured but the real question is who does Don Cherry like?


4695...Culling The Herd

Washington Post has a nice piece this a.m. 

“Mack” Wolford, a Pentecostal pastor from West Virginia who tried to preserve the religious tradition of serpent-handling, died Sunday from a rattlesnake bite.

It is stuff like this that has to make Jesus and all the Saints in Heaven just about die laughing.


4694...Conservative MP Talks About Foot In Post

Brad Trost, he is the Tory MP for somewhere far away.  I think it is Saskatoon-Humboldt.

He is quoted in today's Ottawa Citizen as saying, when commenting about the severed foot that arrived at Conservative HQ yesterday, that "It's just awful."

Thank you for that insight.


4693...Anonymous Is Going To MTL Grand Prix

That what it says right here in my morning Montreal Gazette:

To show its support for foes of university tuition hikes, Anonymous says it will wreak havoc with the Formula One event, which runs June 8-10 and is expected to attract as many as to 300,000 spectators.
What will the Euro-trash do next weekend?  The havoc that Classe is causing.  OMG.


Tuesday, May 29, 2012

4692...This Is Why Foot Sent To Con HQ

According to one of the comments on the CBC site:

 “just a first installment on the arm and the leg that the C35s are going to cost”

I knew there was a good explanation.


4691...A Foot In The Door At Cons HQ In Ottawa

Breaking news from CBC in Ottawa.

Ottawa police say they are investigating after what appears to be a human foot was found in a suspicious package sent to the Conservative Party of Canada headquarters in downtown Ottawa.
Hazardous materials handlers were called to the 12th floor of 130 Albert Street after the package was found and police blocked off much of the road on Tuesday.
Ottawa police Sgt. Bruce Pirt said major crimes investigators have taken over the HAZMAT call because if it is a human foot, "There's a body without one."
Police said it appeared to a be a human foot in an X-Ray but official confirmation will have to wait until the coroner has investigated.
Seriously, WTF are you thinking sending a foot to the Stephen Harpers?


Barack Obama, he is the POTUS, smoked pot.

While in high school.

In the '70s.

Like everyone else.

In other news the sky is blue, water is wet and grass is green.


4689...JFK's Birthday Is Today

He would be 95 if he hadn't been shot by Lee Harvey Oswald in 1963.


4688...Point One Four Less Newspapers In Ottawa

It is widely reported that the paper of record in your capital, The Ottawa Citizen, is shutting down its Sunday paper.

Paul Godfrey, the grand pubba of Postmedia, made the announcement yesterday.  The Edmonton Journal and The Calgary Herald are also shutting down their Sunday papers too.

Somewhere Joe Jackson is shedding a tear.


Monday, May 28, 2012

4687...David Wilks, R.I.P.

In the same way that they have footage of kamikaze pilots slamming into destroyers on YouTube, they also have footage of the rookie MP, who represents Kooteney-Columbia in British Columbia, slamming his career into the side of a destroyer on YouTube also.

It all came down last week.

Farewell good man and do rest in peace.


4686...Happy Memorial Day

It is the Yankee's version of Remembrance Day.

Without the freezing rain.

Tip a cold one to Memorizing.


4685...Explain This Please

My progressive friend Kieran Green asks a very relevant question:

Would someone please explain this: Why is it "entitlement" when students facing an education debt load that will burden them well into middle age complain and protest about tuition fee increases, but not "entitlement" when rich doctors in their BMWs and big homes complain and threaten to take their practices elsewhere if their fees are capped or reduced?

Please do so.  


Sunday, May 27, 2012

4684...A Tale Of Two Cities

Montreal, the city where the unthinkable happens on a regular basis and Toronto, Canada's Cincinnati.

In one, the fun one, there is a revolution going on as you read this.

In the city that fun forgot the big story is the big fat mayor.


4683...He IS Spending More Time At The Buffet

Rob Ford, Toronto's mayor, announced on his weekly radio show, I believe it is on CFRB, that he is chucking his very public diet.

Dude was 330 when his challenge to Torontonians to lose weight started mid winter.  Last time he weighed in he was under 320.  Like, that's not bad.  Pound a week.  You'll be able to shop off the rack in a year yer honour.

Remember Mr. Ford:  fat people die young; you have more than yourself to shape up; you have a city to shape.


4682...Strippers Suffering In Montreal

It is that darn student strike thingy.

According to what I read in today's Ottawa Sun business is down up to 45 per cent at peeler palaces in Montreal.

Day 105 and counting as of today btw.


4681...Rob Ford Is At The Chinese Buffett

He's gotta be coz he sure ain't at City Hall in Toronto doing mayor stuff.

Hizzoner, according to "Documents obtained by the [Toronto] doing half of the official work he was doing this time last year."

He has to be hitting the buffet in his spare time.  Has to be.


4680...Thank God For Small MIracles

The Toronto FC won their first game this season over the Philadelphia Union.

I know.

Who gives a f*ck.

No one.

That's who.

Wanna know why?

Coz it is soccer.


Saturday, May 26, 2012

4679...Fark This

Drew Curtis is a web guy out of West Virginia [I think] and he has a news aggregator called that is primarily made up of quirky news with his own commentary.

There is a story out of Cape Breton, Nova Scotia about a body being found in the water.  This is the way Fark headlined it:

Body found floating in Nova Scotia river stuffed in hockey bag. If this story was any more Canadian, it would be leaking maple syrup 

Time well wasted.


4678...June 8

That is the line in the sand in Montreal.

That is the Friday night of Grand Prix weekend which is a ridiculously huge deal in Montreal, allegedly the biggest tourist event of the season.

Schtuff has got to happen one way or t'other.


Friday, May 25, 2012

4677...Another Blow To Junior Seau

May he rest in peace.

Tough time for his fam; as you know the twenty year veteran of the NFL shot him self dead on May 2nd of this year.  Now the USA Today reports that "Seau's the Restaurant, a sports-themed eatery in the Mission Valley area of San Diego..." has closed.  The paper reports that the eatery "...was opened by the longtime San Diego Chargers star in 1996."

When it goes bad, it goes really bad.


4676...Stephen Harper Says

It wasn't us that were cheating on this Robo-call thingy.

Or may be it was.

Not sure and we, the Stephen Harpers, are not about to address this issue directly.  Instead we are going to point fingers and launch an attack on poor Maude Barlow and The Council of Canadians whom the Globe and Mail says " underwriting the legal challenges of seven ridings where Tories won..." and that The Council of Canadians " guided by “antipathy ... towards the Conservative Party” and a desire to see the NDP take power."

Uh, like, doh.


4675...This Is How You Get Fired

From via Gawker:

Newspaper Reporter Fired For Leaving In Bit About "Coach’s Bullshit And Laziness"

Wasn't that a fun time, when a reporter at a little Louisiana newspaper accidentally left in some dummy text that made it to print. Oh, we all had a guffaw or two, yes we did. But then we moved on.
The Rayne Independent has not, because it's a dumb little operation that can't laugh at itself.They've fired Kade Seibold, the reporter responsible, because he made an honest mistake, but have taken no action against two other staffers whose jobs, presumably, are to make sure this kind of thing doesn't make it to print.
Look, doing high school sports is a tough job. You're at the mercy of coaches to get their stats in on time. Sometimes you write funny things to amuse yourself, and once in a while you forget to take them out. Like, for example, this: "Kade Seibold fired due to the Rayne Independent's bullshit and laziness. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet."


4674...Michael Harris Update

My dear friend [and fan] Anonymous updates the saga that is Michael Harris, ex CFRA Ottawa talker:

Here is a small comfort for those who miss Michael's brilliant and balanced program on a daily basis. He is writing for ipolitics. His column appears once a week on Wednesday morning. Superb writing and analysis which outdoes even his extremely well written books. He has just signed a contract with Penguin Books (a real publisher as opposed to Lowell Green's vanity press) to write a book on the Harper regime.

There you go.  WFDS keeping you in da loop.


Thursday, May 24, 2012

4673...Hugging RC Priest Forced To Fist

What is this world coming to?  John Bry of WOOD radio in Grand Rapids, Michigan tells all that "The priest at St. Patrick and St. Anthony Parish at Grand Haven no longer will hug children, in public during Mass, because one family wrote the Bishop that it looks bad. Father Bill Langlois will do fist-bumps instead."

One letter was all that it took.  

Over react much Bishop?


4672...New Orleans Times-Picayune Dying

From The Huffington Post:

The New Orleans Times-Picayune, the paper that became internationally famous for its courageous reporting during Hurricane Katrina, is facing steep cuts and will end its 175-year history of daily publication, the paper announced Thursday.

Another one gone.


4671...Jean Charest Makes Someone Else Jump

The boss is not taking the fall for the mini revolution on the Island of Montreal.

But, as The Globe and Mail reports, "Luc Bastien, who was appointed Premier Charest’s chief of staff in February 2011, will leave his post next Monday and will be replaced by Dan Gagnier, who returns to a position he held for two years."

Off with their heads I say, off with their heads.


4670...A Prog View On The New EI Regs

From my soon to be mustached friend Joseph Roman:

Joseph RománOh look! Workers at the bottom end of the labour market can now get screwed even more. Not only can businesses now hire foreign workers and pay them 15% less than the average wage in a particular sector, even more downward pressure will be put on wages as a result of forcing people to take whatever job may come their way. This also adds an enormous layer of bureaucracy to the EI system because of the amount of monitoring that will be needed, increasing costs substantially.
As with the crime bills the Conservatives make it look like they are doing right fiscally and/or morally and end up costing the country more.

4669...Where The MP For Outremont?

Thomas Mulcair.

On the subject of civil unrest in his riding for the last 100 plus days?

Where is he?


4668...John Baird Wot Were You Thinking

In our town, Ottawa, it is rumoured, and has been since his days at Bell High School in the Ottawa 'burb of Bell's Corners, that John Baird plays for the other team.

That is what makes the CBC report that "Foreign Affairs Minister John Baird will be the main speaker at a Washington, D.C., event celebrating religious freedom Thursday night to promote Canada's planned Office of Religious Freedom." puzzling considering that  "... the event sponsor's hardline stance on same-sex marriage and homosexuality is at odds with Baird's support for gay rights around the world."

I think it is cool that the man is going to speak, don't get me wrong,  and there is no doubt that Mr. Baird is progressive on that file.  Hopefully he can get the point across that religious freedom includes freedom for all.  Judge not lest ye be judged and all that.


4667...On The Other Hand The Beer Is Cheap

In Montreal.

Sure the State Department is warning Yankees to be careful visiting Montreal but they left the above fact out.

And you can bring wine to many restaurants.


Wednesday, May 23, 2012

4666...Okay Say You Are On This Island

An island with a little under 2,000,000 people.  Let's say 50,000 [police numbers] or 250,000 [protesters numbers] have been demonstrating against the sitting government.

For over 100 days.

I would think that having between 2.5 and 12.5 per cent of the people on this island being pissed off enough to march would constitute a crisis.

What say you Stephen Harper?


4665...Mitt Romney New York Times Quote

Not by Mitt Romney but about Mitt Romney.

“Tracie J. Walker, 48, of Washington. 'I think he’s a strange character. He got confused by money, I think. So he doesn’t understand reality today.'”

I believe Mr.Romney is part of that 1 per cent I hear so very much about.


4664...Don't Be Afraid To Quit

Boing boing reminds you that "In case you need an antidote to commencement speeches that tell you to follow your dream to attain success, here's Bobcat Goldthwaite's 2009 Commencement address to Hampshire College, in which he exhorts his listeners to abandon success and never stop quitting (and then he says that doing this made him happy and successful). "

He also reminds them to bathe.

A good idea.


4663...Day 101, Day 101

101 is a pretty important number in La Belle.

Today marks day 101 of the student's protest in Montreal, Quebec.

Apparently the 250,000 on the street yesterday did not, as the front page of the Montreal Gazette evidenced,  get the memo re "...Bill 78 – emergency legislation requiring protest organizers to provide police with an itinerary of their march eight hours in advance – not only enraged civil libertarians and legal experts but also seems to have galvanized ordinary Quebecers into marching through the streets of a city that has seen protests staged nightly for the past seven weeks."

What we have here folks is a revolution.


Tuesday, May 22, 2012

4662...Excepting Gay Bars And Bathhouses

Quote of the day from Joseph Roman:

If there are no ladies, there will be no gentlemen.

He's as good looking as he is smart.


4661...Stupid People Amuse And Scare Me

As I have said to my dear friend Dan The Bus Driver many times one cannot win an argument with a stupid person.  Which is one of the things that makes them, stupids not bus drivers, scary.

This story is from October of '09 but David Sampson just alerted me to it now. It is from's archives and, well, read and be amazed:

Yesterday, Andrew Sullivan put up a post about an extremely brutal hate-crime attack on an openly gay man. The 2-minute news report he embeds is depressing, but there was something to laugh about at the end. The studio interviewed one of the attackers’ friends, who proudly displayed this tattoo.

It’s a tattoo reading “[Thou] shall not lie with a male as one does with a woman. It is an abomination. Leviticus 18:22?. Who else sees the problem here?

Leviticus also forbids tattooing. In the very next chapter.

“Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks upon you: I am the LORD. Leviticus 19:28?
Dude, you gotta read the whole book.  The whole book.


4660...All They Wanted To Do Was Get Drunk

They would be the graduating class at Virginia, a university that has been referred in Sports Illustrated as "...a four-year cocktail party."

But no.

They had to listen to former prom queen and multi gazillionaire Katie Couric get all pissy about her sad life.

Cyberalert takes the story from here:

Katie Couric, who made $15 million a year anchoring the CBS Evening News for a half-hour each weeknight, delivered a remarkably self-pitying commencement address at the University of Virginia on Sunday. "In those first few months at CBS, TV critics wrote about my clothes, my hair, my make-up, even the way I held my hands. Some said I lacked 'gravitas,' which I've since decided is Latin for 'testicles.'... My story may have played out in the public eye, but it's by no means unique," Couric told the graduates. " Every one of you will at some point be confronted by naysayers and learn that life isn't always fair. You'll feel cheated, you'll be mistreated. You'll wonder, 'when will I be loved?'"

That's a buzz kill.


Monday, May 21, 2012

4659...Price Of Pizza To Rise

Horrible news for pizza lovers out of Italy via Agence France Presse.

Sunday’s quake in northeastern Italy destroyed more than 300,000 wheels of Parmesan and Grana Padano, a similar cheese, with an estimated value of more than 326 million Canadian dollars, an industry official said.

Is no good.


4658...No Bad Jobs

That is what Finance Minister Jim Flaherty said last week.

Why is it the people who have jobs that they like always say stuff like that?

Trust me Mr. Hon. Flaherty there are tons of bad jobs.


4657...Montreal Hits Saturday Night Live

Arcade Fire were the musical guests on NBC's Saturday Night Live and they wore red squares 

on their clothes in support of the student strike In their hometown of Montreal. 

 The guest host, Mick Jagger wore a red shirt to support the strikers. 

 C'est cool, eh?


Sunday, May 20, 2012

4656...Dean Del Mastro I Love You

The Tory Member of Parliament from Peterboro, Ontario has the best comedy writers in the world writing for him.

Check this.  In a CBC  convo on the 17th of May, a conversation the John Pinette esqe MP was having with Dr. Carolyn Bennett, who is also a Liberal MP, Dean Del Mastro informed the doctor that "Sex is not biology."

Where did you go to school?  Haters don't be blaming the Catholic schools.  Father Campbell at St. Joe's in Ottawa taught us reproductive biology.  Perhaps he is just a comic, Mr. Del Mastro is.


Saturday, May 19, 2012

4655...Father Of The Year

WREG-TV in Nashville reports that it is not going to be Desmond Hatchett of Knoxville, Tennessee.

Mr. Hatchett is 33 and is very good at one thing.  Getting women pregnant.  He has 30 kids with 11 different women.  The oldest is 14, the youngest, very young.  He has fathered 9 kids since 2009.  The reason we know that is that he told the court in 2009 that he was done fathering children.  

"The state already takes half his paycheck and divides it up, which doesn't amount to much when Hatchett is making only minimum wage. Some of the moms receive as little as $1.49 a month. "

Even Rod Black cannot feed a kid for $1.49 a month.


4654...I Was In A Riot Last Night

By legal definition any how.

I was in Hull, a bucolic little ville down the street from where I live, a ville that happens to be in Quebec.

After the bars closed at 2, an anomaly in La Belle by the way, we were gathered on the street.  If my reading of Bill 78 is correct, the fact that there were hundreds of us on Rue Laval, many of whom were intoxicated by the by, gathered with a common purpose means that we were in a position to be busted for assembling in an illegal fashion.

Thanks Jean Charest.


Friday, May 18, 2012

4653...Toronto Police Chief Steps Up To The Plate

Bill Blair is the man's name and CBC News Toronto reports that "... has asked for permission to discipline 30 of his officers, including two senior officers, in the wake of a damning report on police actions during the G20 summit in 2010."

That is a lot of officers and a lot of discipline.

Of course there will be complaints from both sides [let them do their job; you are not tough enough] but there will always be haters.


4652...Fixed Election Means Byelex In Toronto

CBC News breaks with the story that  "Conservative MP Ted Opitz's 2011 federal election win last year in Etobicoke Centre was declared null and void today in a challenge by former Liberal MP Borys Wrzesnewskyj.  Opitz won the May 2011 election by 26 votes, but Wrzesnewskyj challenged the results over voting irregularities."

This ain't the end but this is the beginning of the end.

It is going to be a long and hard fight to re right the wrongs that the Tories have perpetrated on Canada but it will happen.


4651...From Lincoln To Romney Through Nixon

And the Bush family.

How the Grand Old Party, The Republican Party, has fallen.

What brings this on is that on this day in 1860 the GOP nominated Abraham Lincoln to run for the big job.

He won btw.


Thursday, May 17, 2012

4650...Ottawa Is Town Of Hypocrites

I don't just mean on The Hill either.

There is this sex exhibition in Ottawa at the Museum of Science and Technology that is on now.  OMG if you were to believe the letters to the papers and the buzz on the radio you would think that the end times have come to our capital.

According to Metro, the free paper that strap hangers favour, for every complaint about the show in MTL, its previous stop, there have been 100 in Ottawa.

But, but and but, according to the website that promotes adultery, Ottawa, not Ottawa-Gatineau, but Ottawa-Ottawa, is the most adulterous city in the country.

How do you spell conundrum?



4649...I Love To Love You Baby

It is all over the news.

American disco diva, five time Grammy winner and culture shifter Donna Summer, 63, who broke out of Germany with her epic track Love To Love You Baby has passed.

Everything started to go sideways when she started to date Bobby Brown.


4648...Step Away From The Buffet

TMJ4, The Milwaukee Journal's TV station, calls this a First World Problem.

"Bill Wisth, of Mequon, says he was getting ready to move on to his thirteenth piece of fish when Chuck's Place in Thiensville cut him off, claiming they were running out of food for the other patrons."

The 350 pound man has demolished the buffet at Chuck's Place previously.  Management offered to give him 8 more pieces of fish if he would pay his bill.  He would not.

Police were called, lawyers have been consulted and Mr. Wisth claims he is doing it all for consumer's rights not because he is a porco.


4647...Danny Tanner Is Not Gay

The dirtiest human being to ever walk the face of the planet, Full House's Bob Saget, turned 56 today.


4646...I Lied To You

About that, ah read the cut and paste below from
Come to find out, that news story circulating for the past two weeks about a Polish dentist pulling out every one of her ex-boyfriend's teeth because he jilted her is one hundred percent bunk.
Police in Wroclaw, Poland, where the incident purportedly took place, say they have no record of it. Polish journalists have tried, in vain, to locate the alleged dentist, Dr. Anna Mackowiak, and her alleged victim, Marek Olszewski. Quite simply, it never happened.
The original story (since deleted) was published on the website of the London newspaper The Daily Mail on April 27 and widely repeated in the international media. The staff reporter under whose byline it appeared, Simon Tomlinson, now says he's at a loss to explain its origin.
"The (Daily) Mail Foreign Service, which did the piece for the paper, is really just an umbrella term for copy put together from agencies," he told "My news desk isn't sure where exactly it came from."
In truth, the story reads more like the sort of thing you'd expect to find in a supermarket tabloid than in a legit newspaper — i.e., lurid fiction disguised as fact. On a hunch, I searched back issues of The Mother of All Tabloids, the now-defunct Weekly World News, to see if there was a precedent. No exact matches cropped up, but I did find this item, dated July 4, 1995:
Dentist Gets Revenge on Wife's Lover... by Pulling Out All His Teeth!HAMBURG, Germany — Vengeful dentist Dr. Hermann Uhrdahl got so ticked off when he learned his leggy wife Wilhelmina was having an affair that he lured her lover in for a checkup — and yanked out every tooth in his mouth! (more)
It occurs to me that one reason the demise of WWN isn't more lamented by faux news enthusiasts is that the mainstream media have taken up the slack — not the most promising of trends.
Mea culpa.


4645...Dr. Shaq Is A Good Influence On Dropout

Dr. Shaq is, of course, Dr. Shaquille O'Neal, BA, MBA, PhD.

The drop out, as reported at, is Don Nelson, who dropped out of Iowa University in '62 to become an NBA star with the Boston Celtics and then the all time winningest coach in the history of the league.

Influenced by the good Doctor, Mr. Nelson returned to Iowa and graduated with his BA in phys ed Saturday.


Wednesday, May 16, 2012

4644...Strippers Are Not Coroners

Most of them anyhow.   Not that I have ever been in a strip club.  Well, once, but I need change and only stayed a hour or three.

If strippers were coroners at the Red Parrot Lounge in metro El Paso, Texas, they would have noticed that Robert Gene Wright, a 67 year old fan of peelers and lap dances, wasn't paying for the dances [or tipping] coz he was dead.

His cyber fan Rob from South Dakota says that Mr. Wright is "Off to that big champagne room in the sky, where the stacks of twenties never never goes short..."

BTW, having a dude die while you are lap dancing for him.  Is this a good thing?  Does it make the resume?


4643...I Got Good News In Ontario

And I got bad news in Ontario.

The good news is the latest poll has Tim Hudak, the Conservative leader, er, Progressive Conservative leader, at the bottom of the big three.

The bad news is his party has the support of 34 per cent of Ontarioions in The Forum Research survey reported upon in today's Toronto Star.

There is more good news.  Inside his own party less than half of the troops like their general.

It is probably coz Mr. Hudak choked in an amazing way last time out.

Not probably.  It is becuz he sucks.


4642...Prime Minister Thomas Mulcair

You know when no one was paying attention to him he seemed bright and everything.

Dya think it were the beard?

Anyhow now that he has become the leader of the opposition he has found his voice.

He was more PMesque when he had no voice.


Tuesday, May 15, 2012

4641...Ron Paul Sorta Out Of The Race For Prez

But not really.

The lifelong politician who doesn't favour professional politicians and is all for freedom as long as it is conditional is sort of stopping his campaign for the Republican nom for POTUS.

I predict that this driven ego maniacal contradiction will be a 3rd party candidate for Prez which will ensure for more years of Barack Obama, the first African born President.


4640...Leonard Cohen Is A Mensch

My Berliner friend [and I am no John Kennedy; I know a Berliner is a pastry] Brent Kerrigan tells me that [it was in all the papers] that Leonard Cohen won the Glenn Gould Prize. 

The prize, for being especially artsy and fartsy, comes with a 50,000 dollar howdy doo.  Mr. Cohen is generously contributing the whole amount to arts in His Home And Native Land.

Mr. Kerrigan points out that in the era of the Stephen Harpers Mr. Cohen is now " the sole source of funding for artists in Canada whose work does not fall under the three approved categories: hockey, military, and patriotism."


Monday, May 14, 2012

4639...Ashley Madison Says Jean Charest's Ex

Hood is the most adulterous in the most adulterous city in Canada.

The 'hood is The Glebe,  the city of course is Ottawa.

My source, The Milky Show from BOB FM, says that a hot date for someone in The Glebe is getting some Bridgehead.


4638...This Is Straight Out Of The Simpsons

CNN reports that 38 per cent of 911 calls to the NYPD are butt calls.  That is calls made with your derriere.

Like you I have had a number of different cell phones and in my world Blackberries are the worst for pocket dialing.

By the way this problem is not exclusive to New York City.  I recall reading a study of Canuck 911 calls and the numbers of bogus calls from cell phones in Our Home And Native Land is also ridiculously high.


4637...Happy Birthday


Patented on this day in 1878 by Robert A. Cheesebrough.

Before Stonewall.


4636...Happy Bunny Not So Happy Anymore

The Guardian Online reports that 11,000 pounds of sex toys have been stolen from the Happy Bunny in Merry Ole England.

BTW that is 11,000 pounds sterling not pounds pounds.

Still a lot of sex toys.


4635...The Pursuit Of Happiness

It is right there in the United States Constitution. 

Former GOP prez candidate Dr. Ron Paul positioned himself as a bit of a Jeffersonian and constitutionalist.  His son, Rand Paul, is the junior Senator from Kentucky and is cut from the same cloth. That is why I was aghast when I read what the Tea Party darling and KY Senator had to say about President Obama's support of gay marriage on  "Sen. Rand Paul mocked President Obama’s recent support of gay marriage on Friday, saying he didn’t think Obama’s views "could get any gayer''.” 

So much for the pursuit of happiness if you are gay.



Sunday, May 13, 2012

4634...Toughest Job In The World

Delivering pizzas in Kabul.

Reuters reports that in the capital of Afghanistan, a village of about four million, the streets have no names.

Or numbers.

Local delivery only I guess.


4633...News Flash: Romney Against Gay Marriage

It is in every newspaper on the planet this morning.

Every newspaper on the planet also reported the following:

The sky is blue.
Water is wet.
The Toronto Maple Leafs suck.

4632...Today Is A Bad Day To Die

As if there was ever a good day.

Actually today, yesterday, last week were bad days to die for your family.

Pourquoi you ax?

Becuz today is Mother's Day and the cost of flowers increases at this juncture of time.

Be good to your family; don't die in May.


Saturday, May 12, 2012

4631...Mikey I Is Getting Paid Today

It is 65 candles time for Michael Ignatieff.  Gee, it has been so long, is it one f or 2?

Wonder what Stephen Harper got him for his birthday?

A card at the very least.


4630...High Fiving To The Hospital

A high five is just an extra happy handshake.  The Washington Post reported that Bryce Harper's high five of Washington Nats teammate Mark DeRosa sent Mr. DeRosa to painville.

Mr. DeRosa aggravated an oblique muscle strain on his left side.  Again.

Stretching, have you heard of stretching?


4629...Will You Still Love Me When I'm 64?

Happy birthday to Israel, 64 today!

Big ups to Salim Mansur of The Suns for the tip.


Friday, May 11, 2012

4628...Stephen Harper Tell Him To Shut UP

Jacques Gourde, the only member of your Quebec caucus that you did not make Honourable, is b*tching that times were better when the Bloc, you know, the Bloc Quebecois, the Quislings that want to destroy our country, were in Parliament coz they spoke french.

According to what I read in the Kingston Whig-Standard Mr. Gourde is pissed.  "It is an insult to our identity as Quebecers to see the NDP MPs from Quebec put half their questions in English...When the Bloc Quebecois was there, they asked all their questions in French and it brought a certain proportion of French in the House of Commons."

By the way Mr. Gourde did not say the above in english coz he cannot speak english.  

He's just a whiny b*tch and a hypocrite in my opinion; typical of the Stephen Harpers.


4627...Get To The F*cking Point

Everything is not an essay question.

Yeah, I am talking to you.

I was purusing, a word I just invented, with Mara Carfagna, my dog not the Italian politico, blogs such as and newspapers such as all of them and it came to me:  get to the f*cking point.

Like if you can say it in 200 words don't write 2000 words.

You aren't going to listen but the world wishes you would.


4626...Big Day For The Rideau River Tomorrow

My great friend Martin Canning is working on getting the Rideau River to a level of pre historic cleanliness.   You can and should help:

Martin Canning

Saturday, May 12, 2012, 10:00 am – 1:00 pm
TWITTER #RRClean / FACEBOOK Urban Rideau Conservationists
Free Bridgehead and Starbucks coffee (at select locations) – booyah!
Pick a meet-up location that is closest to you:
1. Ottawa Tennis and Lawn Bowling Club at 176 Cameron Ave. (next to
Brewer Park)
2. New Edinburgh Field House at 193 Stanley Ave.
3. Bordeleau Park on Rose and Bruyère St. **this location starts at
9:00 am-1:00 pm**
4. Brantwood Park Field House off of Onslow Cres. (two blocks east of
Main St., near Saint Paul U)
Urban Rideau Conservationists is a non-profit, action group that organizes
Mother’s Day weekend Rideau River clean-ups with partner community groups
across Ottawa. The Rideau River is an essential and much appreciated part of
the Ottawa landscape and community.
Dress for mucky conditions, but don't worry, we'll have everything you need
for the clean-up - all supplies will be provided. The City of Ottawa has an
awesome program that supports initiatives like this so we are hooked up!
Remember, be extra careful when on the riverbank. Watch your footing and
what you pick up off the ground. See you on May 12th!!!
If you have any questions contact Martin by e-mail at
Look for me in my aqua coloured sombrero.


4625...Tiger Woods Meet Marilyn Manson

Marilyn Manson meet Tiger Woods.

Although they seem like disparate characters they have a lot in common.

Tiger Woods is considered kaput by many critics, fans and media types because his star has plummeted.

He is only the SEVENTH best golfer in the world.

Marilyn Manson's new record Born Villain is considered a flop because it in only the TENTH best selling album in the USA.

I should be so fortunate as to fail like that pair.


4624...What Year Is It In Arizona?

This is the state that, I have read, thinks it is okay to check the I D of t h o s e people at random to make sure they are Americans.

It was also the last state to honour Martin Luther King with his Day.

I suppose it should come as no surprise that it is also the state where high school A refused to play high school B in the state championship baseball game coz high school A gots a girl playing second base. reports that "Paige Sultzbach is a freshman at Mesa Preparatory Academy, which had been scheduled to play Our Lady of Sorrows Academy in tonight's Arizona Charter Athletic Association state championship at Phoenix College."  

Our Lady of Sorrows forfeited the state championship because one of the players, Ms. Sulzback, is a girl.  "Our Lady of Sorrows is run by the U.S. branch of the Society of Saint Pius X, a group of conservative, traditionalist priests who disagree with the reforms of the Vatican II Council in the 1960s and broke with the Catholic Church in the 1980s."
I could be wrong but I don't think that baseball is even mentioned in the Bible nor is it referenced in Vatican I or Vatican II.  Furthermore I think that Our Lady of Sorrows may be run by a bunch of crazyites.
Well, at least she gets her ring.

Thursday, May 10, 2012

4623...Apparently Foreign Oil Companies

Are from other lands.

This comes as a revelation in the popular press which is aghast that much of the money being made in Fort Mac and other Canuck oilfields is leaving on an email transfer.

This is the same popular press that has and would plotz if the government, provincial or federal, nationalized the industry.

Yes life is confusing.


4622...Happy Birthday To A Leprecaun

The elfin rocker from Eire is 52 today.

Happy birthday to Bono.

I hope someone got him a new pair of sunglasses for his birthday.


4621...Decima Speaks

And Ottawa listens.

"The Canadian Press Harris Decima survey indicates that the NDP have 34 per cent of popular support, compared to 30 per cent for the Conservatives."

The Liberals are stalled at 20 points.


4620...Rush Limbaugh On Gay Marriage

Via George Takei on Facebook quoting Rush Limbaugh, the number one conservative radio host in the States, from Wednesday's show:

We've arrived at a point where the President of the United States is going to lead a war on traditional marriage.

Mr. Takei points out that Mr. Limbaugh's 1st, 2nd, 3rd and 4th wives were not available for comment.


4619...We Have A Place For All; Even Serial Killers

We are the Canadian Armed Forces.

CTV says that "Defence Minister Peter MacKay has apologized for a Department of National Defence booklet containing a photograph of convicted murderer Russell Williams.  The professional development booklet, which was issued last month, shows a photo of Williams sitting among other members of the Armed Forces."

Before anyone gets too high and mighty about this bear in mind that it took the better part of a month to find Waldo.

It's not like Col. Williams was on the cover of this page turner.


Wednesday, May 9, 2012

4618...Vidal Sasson Is Done

At 84.

Found this story on my very own blog, The World Famous Dan Shields, via the USA TODAY.  How cool is that?

This guy was cool too.  An Israeli soldier who became a talk show guest star, every talk show, in the '70s and '80s, his shampoo was in every suburban bathroom in America and Canada.


4617...Romney Could Win

Just keep that in mind.


4616...Barack Obama Shows Leadership

In the wake of North Carolina's rejection of gay marriage the Prez steps up to the plate and says he is okay with it.

I honestly don't understand why people get so vexed about who is playing with who's private parts.

That's what it comes down to.


4615...Iran: You Cannot Teach Stupid

My buddy tic's fave website is BoingBoing.  This is what they have.

Iranian newspaper cartoonist Mahmoud Shokraiyeh drew an Iranian Parliament Member wearing a soccer jersey. For that reason, he was sentenced to 25 lashes. Why would the government want to flog someone for this reason?

Boy if Aislin was in Iran he would be in trouble deep.  Go Habs go!


4614...NDP Sells Out The West

Sad really considering that the NDP traces its roots back to the Regina Manifesto.

Sad that their leader, Thomas Mulcair, would sell out the oil rich west in a futile grasp for power.



4613...North Carolina Bans Gay Marriage

Civil unions too.

The Ticket reports that 61 to 39 was the spread.  This vote makes the Tar Heel State the 29th in the Union to proscribe gay marriages and civil unions.

I am telling you my liberal and Liberal friends that if there was a vote on gay marriage in Ontario the results would be similar.


4612...Did Rob Ford Play Football Sans Helmet?

NowToronto, which is a free gay paper that is big in certain quarters of the Centre of the Universe, reports that the LGBTQ community in Toronto is getting pretty frustrated by their mayor.

They keep asking him to go to events and he keeps saying no.

No gay pride parade last year or this year.  'k, got it, don't want to do it.  For starters you are a big fat white boy and five hours in the sun could stroke you out.  But they do have indoor events and you don't have to stay for the whole thing, eh?

Doug Kerr, a prime time gay activist in Toronto thinks that the mayor may just not care.  “This is getting frustrating,” Kerr says. “How long do we keep putting out an invitation?” 

Really, you t h i n k he isn't interested in you and your issues?  By now you should know.

The question is, from a political point of view, is the mayor's obvious non pro gay stance a good one or a bad one?

I gotta a feeling that to his supporters he may be bang on.


Tuesday, May 8, 2012

4611...Always Time For Tim Hortons

CBC  reports that Shireen Anderson of the Detroit suburb of Windsor was feeling contractions this morning so she did what any heavily pregnant woman would do.

She went to Timmies.

Baby Azauria was born in ten minutes in the bog at the restaurant.

Baby and mom are resting comfortably in a car in the parking lot as I write this.


4610...On This Day In 1945 Wuz Ez To Get Laid

All over the Allied world for on this day in 1945 the big one, World War II, came to an end.


4609...Quebec Cops Are Violent

It is right there in The Canadian Press via The Huffington Post:

Some people are lashing out at Quebec police in the wake of violent confrontations in which several protesters were injured, including one young man who lost an eye.
Nelson Wyatt, who wrote this article, cannot be from Quebec [or the north end of Ottawa].  Quebec cops are tough.  Montreal, Gat, you name it you don't f'k with these guys.  Ditto the cops in Ottawa north of the Queensway.

These men and women don't play.  Why this is a surprise to anyone beats me.


4608...Never Indifferent; Never Neutral

Shimon Peres thanked Stephen Harper for his staunch support of Israel, and Canada for its 60 years of friendship as the Israeli president began a full state visit Monday.
“I sense that Canada is always positive, never indifferent, never neutral,” Mr. Peres said during his official welcome by the Governor-General at Rideau Hall.
The Canadian Press story this morning also mentioned what John Baird, the minister of all things foreign, said last week:   “Israel has no greater friend in the world today than Canada.”


4607...Piracy Is Destroying Hollywood

The Avengers grossed more its first weekend than any film in history.

Am I the only one that sees a contradiction here?

It is either or sports fans, either or.


4606...Goober Pyle Is Dead

George Lindsey was the man's name and the character he invented, Goober Pyle, dies with him at 83.

Funny guy who was a big enough factor in the world of the world to garner a New York Times obituary.

I am hoping my obituary makes the Penny Saver.


4605...Another Testicle Ticket In South Carolina


Meaning that this is an ongoing problem in Steve Spurrier's home state.

WMBF news and The Associated Press report:

 For the second time in a year, a South Carolina officer has ticketed a motorist for displaying a replica of human testicles on a vehicle.
A Spartanburg County sheriff's deputy stopped a truck Sunday evening after noticing the display on the rear bumper. The incident report says the driver removed the display after being stopped but he was arrested for driving without a license. He was also given a warning ticket for having an obscene display.
Last July, a Berkeley County woman was ticketed for having a similar display on the back of her truck.
That case is to go to trial in municipal court in the town of Bonneau. That trial has been delayed three times and no new trial date has been set.
Be careful driving through SC.


4604...Carleton Grad Rob Ford Snubs The Press

The mayor of Toronto,the most self important city on the third rock from the sun, is a funny, confusing and hypocritical man.

Yesterday was another one of those days for hizzoner.  The Toronto Sun, his fave paper, opens a story about the former Carleton Raven thusly:

Mayor Rob Ford shrugged off reporters at an event celebrating World Press Freedom Day Monday night.

“I’ve got places to go, people to see,” Ford told reporters as he left the event hosted by the National Ethnic Press and Media Council of Canada.
He blew off the press.  At World Press Freedom Day.  Who is advising this guy?  Kwame Kirkpatrick?


Monday, May 7, 2012

4603...Crack Hos With Teeth

One of the sure signs of spring in your cold capital is when the hookers hit the street.

I live in a red light area of Ottawa; don't get alarmed, dodgy in Ottawa means 300,000 dollar homes.  What is unusual with this year's selection of street walkers is that they look more like out of work government workers than crack hos.

It's the economy, stupid.


4602...Dr. Shaq

This Saturday Shaquille O'Neal, one of the greatest basketball players in history, will receive his Ph.d from Miami's Barry University.

According to today's Ottawa Citizen "O'Neal spent the past 4 1/2 years working toward his degree in organizational learning and leadership, with a specialization in human resource development."

Barry University is no joke by the way.  It has a little under 10,000 students, a 14:1 ratio of students to faculty and is a Catholic school.  We all know what that means.


4601...25YearsAgoToday ShelleyLong Ends Career

In 1987 on this date Shelley Long stopped working on NBC's Cheers.

Presumably to go onto bigger and brighter things.

Didn't happen.

Smooth move Ex-Lax.


4600...100K Here; 100K There: Cons Austerity

Is not very austere.

The federal government has set aside more than $100,000 for paper flags and lapel pins for celebrations to mark the sixth decade of Queen Elizabeth's reign.
The costing was tabled by Heritage Minister James Moore in response to a written question by NDP MP Tyrone Benskin.
It is all there in your Monday paper.


4599...The French Understand Democracy

I like the fact that they do their elections in two phases.

The first part of the election is like ours.  Tons of candidates.  Here is the cool part.  If no candidate gets more than fifty per cent there is a run off shortly after the general election betwixt the top two candidates.  So, unlike Canada where you can form a government with the support of about 40 per cent of the electorate ala Stephen Harper, in France it is ultimately 50 plus 1.

They also go out and vote.  In the Globe and Mail it is reported that "...the IFOP polling firm projected at 81.5 per cent."  When you factor in the fact that a lot of people are dis interested, clueless or incapable of voting, 81.5 means pretty much everybody is voting.


4598...No More Masks At Riots

Mark Dunn of the Kingston Whig-Standard reports that "The government will support a private member's bill that would make it a crime to wear a mask or disguise during a riot, Justice Minister Rob Nicholson said Sunday.  The Concealment of Identity Act would create two Criminal Code offences with maximum penalties of five years in prison and fines of up to $5,000."

No where in the article does it define when a demonstration becomes a riot.  Plus how does this affect Halloween?  I am not being funny here.  

What we need are less laws not more laws.  This is just another way the Stephen Harpers are going to clog up the courts.


Sunday, May 6, 2012

4597...Green Energy: Fuggedaboutit

A died in the wool self interested Conservative friend of mine who works in an industry dependent on fossil fuels says that this research into green energy is just a waste of money.

He points out that Niagara Falls has been falling 24/7/365 for the last billion years and will for the next billion.   Same with Churchill Falls.

How does one react to an attitude like that?  Is he right?  Or is he not?

Help me Rhonda.


4596...Thomas Mulcair's Divisive Strategies

The new leader of the NDP was on CBC Radio's The House trying to play Alberta against the east.  More to the point he was playing a province where the NDP will win a seat or two against the provinces that are its base.

On Saturday's program he said that the high loonie was caused by Alberta's oil sands and it was hurting Ontario, Quebec and New Brunswick.  Yes that old argument.  A strong currency equals a weak country.  That old fallacious argument I may add.

Postmedia reports that "...Alberta Environment Minister Diana McQueen, who was also on the show, said Mulcair was being divisive in his treatment of the oilsands.  She called it 'old-style politics; trying to pit one part of the country against another.'"

She was gracious.  He is pitting us against them.  Except this is Canada.  We are all us.

Shame on you Thomas Mulcair, shame.


4595...Joan Rivers Was Right

So right.

You wash your dishes and b o o m six months later you gotta wash them all over again.

What a way to spend a Sunday.

Next Sunday that is.


4594...Sorta May be Perhaps Quebec Crisis Over

They kinda mighta reached a deal.

Sort of.

“With Mr. Charest we never know what to expect,” Parti Québécois leader Pauline Marois said. “What I deplore is that he waited 82 days to reach a deal. ... I think Mr. Charest is responsible for this crisis and the students and parents paid a heavy price for it.”

Right there in the Globe and Mail it was.

Thanks to Quebec's number one Tory, Jean Charest, Quebec will have a government that wants out of Canada after the next election.



4593...Ezra Levant's View Of The NDP

My non friend Ezra Levant, opines on the Dippers in Suns:

The party that once stood with forestry workers, sawmill workers, miners, rig hands — the folks who work hard, with their muscles and minds — has now been replaced with the party of downtown eco-activists, who have never done a physical day’s labour in their lives.

Sorry, we can’t all make a living selling Starbucks drinks to each other and texting to each other on our iPhones about how awful Stephen Harper is. Someone actually has to make stuff. Like iPhones. Someone has to bring that coffee to Vancouver. On a ship that is powered by heavy oil.

We can’t all live a metalife, just being intellectual and witty and great critics of things. Someone has to actually be a builder, a miner, a logger, a labourer. At least the communists valued labour — they worshipped it, actually.

Today’s NDP derides it, looks down its nose at it, demeans it, laughs at it, even though those are the real six-figure jobs in Canada — while the fancy kids, getting their degrees in urban studies and peace studies and vegetarian studies, will graduate qualified to do nothing but work at Starbucks.

The NDP is like a child who thinks electricity comes not from a hydroelectric dam or a coal-fired power plant or a nuclear reactor, but from “a plug in the wall.” They want the fruits of industry, without the industrialization. They want the wealth of work, without the work. And now they don’t even want others to do the work.

Sorry, we can’t all make a living selling Starbucks drinks to each other and texting to each other on our iPhones about how awful Stephen Harper is. Someone actually has to make stuff. Like iPhones. Someone has to bring that coffee to Vancouver. On a ship that is powered by heavy oil.
We can’t all live a metalife, just being intellectual and witty and great critics of things. Someone has to actually be a builder, a miner, a logger, a labourer. At least the communists valued labour — they worshipped it, actually.
Today’s NDP derides it, looks down its nose at it, demeans it, laughs at it, even though those are the real six-figure jobs in Canada — while the fancy kids, getting their degrees in urban studies and peace studies and vegetarian studies, will graduate qualified to do nothing but work at Starbucks.
The NDP is like a child who thinks electricity comes not from a hydroelectric dam or a coal-fired power plant or a nuclear reactor, but from “a plug in the wall.” They want the fruits of industry, without the industrialization. They want the wealth of work, without the work. And now they don’t even want others to do the work.


4592...Catch 22 For Cancer Sufferers

The Canadian Press reports that the cancer drug Revlimid may in and of itself cause the deadly disease.

It is used to treat anemia and some blood cancers.

Talk about a Catch 22.