Saturday, April 30, 2011

3700...This Is It

An election that was both inevitable and unwanted, an election that was dull as dishwater has suddenly turned into one that will be dissected in poli-sci classes for eons.

Be a part of it.



Friday, April 29, 2011

3699...Cycling To The Rub And Tug

That is our ever so enviromentally concious NDP leader Jack Layton.

According to the Toronto Sun John-call-me-Jack Layton was an uncharged found-in in a Chinatown-Toronto massage parlour-whorehouse back on 1996.

I knew there was something about that boy I liked.


3698...It Is The End Of The World As We Know It

I just got back from downtown Hull, the pure laine working class core of Quebec's third largest metropolitan area, Gatineau.

No red tents in sight.

A riding that has been Liberal since 1867 is
looking very Orange. I saw not one Liberal sign, one Bloc sign and about twenty NDP signs. Never before.


Thursday, April 28, 2011

3697...Canadian 15 Year Olds Are Number One

Number one in the world.

In smoking the evil drug marijuana.

That is what a study that the Ottawa Citizen exposed in this morning's fishwrap claims.

The study, done by Carleton University researchers for Health Canada and the World Health Organization, puts our kids at number one out of 43 countries and regions.

Brings a tear to my eye.

Also makes me want to order pizza.


3696...The Media Is Illiterate

At least stats wise.

For example media in Ottawa and the Ottawa Valley have a hate on for Cheryl Gallant. They are predicting that she will be defeated, perhaps by Hec "Summer Eyes" Cloutier.

They are wrong.

According to the 308 Blog the sitting Tory MP will get about sixty per cent of the vote; Summer Eyes will get less than one per cent.

Same goes with Jack Layton and the NDP. Sure they will hold the seats they have and probably add a few. A few not a hundred and a few. They will max out at 50 seats or less. Yes, they will finish second all over the place but silver medals are given to the first loser.

Why, why, why do the pressies do this?

Coz they are group thinking and tres lazy that is why.


3695...Whither Liz May?

I ask the question yet again.

She seems to have slipped under the radar.

Perhaps, shall I dare to say, it is becuz she is trivial, unimportant and poised to win no seats yet again?


3694...Michael Scott Is Moving To Colorado

It's your last chance to see him tonight.


3693...Johnny C Writes The World Famous

Dan --

I don’t want to take too much of your time so I’ll get right to the point.

On Monday, there is an election. And we Liberals can win. Liberals will win.

But a week is a lifetime in politics. And every minute that goes by is a chance for us to convince one more Canadian.

That’s why I need you to go all in, Dan, because this election is too important.

Canadians won’t just be casting a vote for the next government on Monday.

They will be writing the next chapter of Canadian history for a generation.

The Charter of Rights and Freedoms, universal health care, national unity, fiscal responsibility.

These are our legacy as Liberals – and I was fortunate enough to lead our Party to some of these accomplishments.

But this list can still grow: The Canadian Learning Passport. Family Care. Early Childhood Learning.

Michael Ignatieff has put forward a progressive, responsible and compassionate plan for Canadians.

It is a good plan. It will help families. And as you saw at last night's Rise Up for Canada rally, all Liberals are behind it.

In a fight this close, it could come down to just a few votes in a few ridings. It could come down to you.

Which is why I need you to donate right now, so that we can air one last round of Liberal TV ads before Monday.

It’s time to go all in. It’s time to play to win.

Thank you.

Jean Chrétien


3692...Montreal Disappoints

Not on the ice, no, the city disappointed on the street.

Riots after playoff wins and loses are expected in Montreal but not last night.

Doesn't tradition stand for anything anymore?


3691...The Sport Food Of The Year

Len Berman, who sends me emails all the time tells me that "They've got a new food item at the ballpark in Cedar Rapids Iowa. The Kernels are offering a 2-pound pretzel. My daughter, the nutritionist, tells me that's about 2840 calories, with close to 600 grams of carbohydrates or about 40 slices of bread. You're invited to give the jumbo pretzel a name. Is the name, 'It's like eating two whole loaves of bread at once' taken?"

This is in a state that has no health care and, presumably, for those who eat the pretzel, short life spans.

You know it will float north in the same way chicken wings did.


Wednesday, April 27, 2011

3690...The Riot Starts At 10 30 Eastern

That would be 22 30 Montreal time.

Rue Ste. Catherine's around University and moving west.

Free shopping/riot.

Meme chose.


3689...You Thought Paying 1.30 A Litre Was Mad

A cut and paste job from The Local:

STUTTGART, Germany - German drivers were left stunned Tuesday after a gas station was caught charging €9.99 ($14.59) per liter in a bid to stop customers from filling up.

The station was running low amid a nationwide shortage due to Easter traffic and a holiday ban on fuel tankers.

Police were called to the Esso gas station near Stuttgart late Monday after it raised the price -- equivalent to $40 a gallon -- in a deliberate move to deter motorists, German news website The Local reported.

Several customers filled up without noticing the hike, despite warning signs on the pump not to do so, German newspaper Bild reported. One customer told Bild he put 21 litres in his BMW and was asked to pay €209.98.

"I didn't pay attention to the price. Who expects something like that? Nearly €10 for one litre? It's a swindle," Yunus G. said.

Customers slugged with the staggering bills called police, but were told they needed to pay. The gas station had done nothing wrong, police said, because the price was determined by head office.

The drivers eventually paid for their gas, but were hoping to sort out a compromise with Esso Tuesday.

Hey, look on the bright side. Y'd get a lot of Esso points.



New study swears kids who spend lots of time online get more sex, drink more.

And, tear to my eye, it's from Canada. About our kids.

As reported in Preventitive Medicine Magazine, the current issue, epidemiology PhD candidate Valerie Carson, from an unnamed [or I forget coz I am online so much] university says that since teens who are into being on line they are getting more.

"This research is based on social cognitive theory, which suggests that seeing people engaged in a behaviour is a way of learning that behaviour," explains Carson. "Since adolescents are exposed to considerable screen time – over 4.5 hours on average each day – they're constantly seeing images of behaviours they can then potentially adopt."

Monkey see, monkey do.

Proud to be Canuckistanian.


3687...Proof That Canucks Smoke Pot

The rise of the NDP.

It is that BC bud I tell ya.

Funny, the masses did not migrate to Liz May, eh?


3686...We Have A New Winner

In the Who Gives A F*ck category.

Our new winner is Steve Madely of Madely in the Morning on CFRA. The great blowhard is covering the wedding of Wills and that chick in Merry Ole live and in colour. Well, not in colour coz 580CFRA is an Ottawa radio station.

The reason he is there? Presumably a free vacation for him and the missus.

Makes zero difference to Wills and that chick to be sure.


Tuesday, April 26, 2011

3685...Safety First

For us, not them.

That is what our beloved Prime Minister Stephen Harper said in Asbestosis, Quebec.

In that fireproof town he defended the export of the deadly material coz it is good for our economy and only kills foreigners.

So proud, so proud.


Monday, April 25, 2011

3684...Back To The Future

Past tense.

Only coz he couldn't dig up Rene Levesque, Gilles Duceppe has enlisted ex PQ premier Jacques Parizeau, given h an adrenaline shot and is dragging him all over La Belle.

Thanks Jack Layton for giving an old man's life purpose.


Sunday, April 24, 2011

3683...Signs Of Change My Ass

Note to Jack Layton: no matter where u r in the polls on La Belle u r still getting only one or two seats in Quebec.


Friday, April 22, 2011

3682...Russia More Popular Than Winnipeg

That will be, as predicted by the WFDS, the problem for the Winnipeg Jets. Yeah I know, not yet and, frankly, probably never.

Winnipeg will be the least desirable market to play in the league as is evidenced by what the Phoenix Coyote's beat player, goalie Ilya Bryzgalov had to say to Paul Friesen of QMI. "Not many people live there...Plus it is cold. There's no excitement...tough life for your family..."

He forgot to mention the mosquito Issue and the floods and the high crime rate.


3681...The Poll Says

49 per cent of Canucks think Prime Minister Harper treated former Conservative cabinet minister Helena Guergis poorly.

The other 51 per cent want to party with her.

Check yesterday's Ottawa Citizen for details.


3680...No Habs No

Hold a lead why doncha?


Thursday, April 21, 2011

3679...Karma Is Payback


For true.

Dya remember the Duke lacrosse rape story a few years ago? The one that cost the team a whole season and got the coach fired? Front page news it was.

Well Crystal Mangum, the stripper who falsely accused three Duke lacrosse players of rape in 2006 has been charged with murder. Her boyfriend up and died after she allegedly stabbed him. A lot.

It made page B 14 of the New York Times. Back in '06 the paper adopted her case as a political cause, and a columnist accused the players of "white privilege" even after it was clear they were innocent.

Racism cuts both ways.


3678...I Could Do This

Run the marathon without running the marathon.

The infamous Rose Ruiz finished first in the Boston Marathon on this day in 1980. Turns out she didn't run the entire race. Or most of it. She did get on the cover of Sports Illustrated and became the answer to a trivia question.

The real winner was L'Annonciation, Quebec's own Jacqueline Gareau.


3677...Creepy News From The United Kingdom

Heard on 1310NEWS that the future Queen of us all, Kate Middleton, used to have a poster of Prince William in her college dorm.

Taped above her bed.

Used turn Japanese to it.


3676...Creepy News From La Belle

The Dippers are five points up on the Bloc.

Equipe Jack Layton will, of course, weave this into one or two seats while the Bloc and the Liberals and the Tories split the rest.

He is just a magician that man.


3675...How Come Today Ain't A Holiday?

Coz it is the Queen's birthday. Our Queen. Liz the Two.

She is 85.

Queen trivia: QEII has outlived 25% of the band members of Queen.


3674...The End Of The World As We Know It

This may help Scott Bradley's alma mater, the perennial cheerleading champions of Canada, The University of Western Ontario Mustangs, move up in the ranks of that hallowed sport.

Len Berman reports that "If you wanted to congratulate the Cal State Long Beach national championship cheerleading team, you are too late. They held the title for one week. Then those pesky little rules got in the way, like the cheerleaders actually had to be real students at the school. Turns out they used ringers and they had to forfeit their crown. The coach has been fired. Oh, that "C" you gave me at the start of the story? It wasn't for Cal State, it was for cheating in the NCAA. What else is new?"

BTW the worst and I mean w o r s t cheerleaders on the planet are from my alma and mater, Canada's 46th best university, Carleton. The U of K cheerleaders are sooooooooooooo bad [How bad are they?] that they are not invited to cheer at the basketball games.

That be bad.


Wednesday, April 20, 2011

3673...Another One Bites The Dust

It was in the morning papers in Ottawa.

Yet another of the priests who taught the WFDS at St. Pius X, Ottawa, back in the day has been convicted of sexually abusing kids. Boy kids

This time it was Father Bill Allen who was convicted of being a child molester.

He did not get sent to jail coz he is old, 81 and fat, very.

Crazy, eh? If he had of got caught with pot in Stephen Harper's Canada he would have got time.

Next pervert priest on docket from St. Pius' good old days will be Father O'Keefe.



Not just a day for the RCMP to look the other way at miscreants on Parliament Hill, no it is also the day that the biggest assh@le in history was born.

Adolph Hitler.



3671...NDP And Traction And La Belle

My good friend Tyler Meredith posted a piece from L. Ian MacDonald in the Montreal Gazette that had the proverbial good news/bad news for the NDP.

The good news is they are poised to grab the second highest number of votes in Quebec, second only to the Bloc.

The bad news is that they are poised to equal the record number of seats they have garnered in La Belle.



3670...Jack Layton Makes A Funny

My dear friend Madge **** relayed this to me.

She saw the man who thinks that he is going to be the next PM talk about how hard he and the missus, Olivia What's Her Name, are working.

According to Miss Wyse Mr. Layton said that his wife was "...on the streets until 11 30 last night."



Tuesday, April 19, 2011

3669...Red Is The Colour Of My Fave Website

According to Rogers, the 1310News, 680 News, 1130 News etc. people the Liberal website is the easiest and bestest to use.

The Conservative one is dated and stodgy according to the report I heard on 1310News.

Just like the Conservatives themselves.

Although, as a bonus and in the tradition of Helena Guergis and Bruce Carson the Tory site has links to local escorts.


Monday, April 18, 2011

3668...There Is Always Next Year

Let's go Blue Jays.

Let's play golf.

Another long
summer awaits.

At least the Leafs are fun.


3667...Sadness In Windsor

Bad enough it looks like our beloved Prime Minister is going to be elected, as in re.

They are cracking down on throwing an octopus on the ice during a Detroit Red Wings hockey game.

For true, read it everywhere.

Len Berman sums up the deal this way "If you don't know, it all began in 1952. At that time, you needed 8 wins to capture the Stanley Cup, and since an octopus has 8 tentacles (oct, get it?).....voila. Well a huge controversy has erupted. Apparently the NHL has asked Detroit police to crackdown on the octopus hurlers. During game one of the playoffs, one fan was fined $500 and ejected from the arena for his mollusk toss. I think the NHL should take the opposite tack. Embrace it. Organize it. Hold an "octopi bobble-arm night.." And for goodness sakes, let 'em throw. Hey it's sports. Can we have some fun around here?"

My question has always been, how the f*ck do you get a living [or dead] octupus into the Joe Louis Arena without a wink, wink, nudge, nudge?


3666...Boston Marathon Today

I was gonna run but they don't let you smoke while running.

Tea Party my ass.

Plus 26 miles be far.


3666...The More Things Change

The more they stay the same.

That is the theme of Election 2011.

The latest poll by Leger for the Sun looks almost the same as the polls 5 weeks ago.


Sunday, April 17, 2011

3664...Kobe Bryant For 100 000 Please

That, along with a technical or two, is what it cost Kobe Bryant in cold hard after tax dollars to call a ref a "...f@cking f@ggot..." last week.

The T I buy. The 100 large not so much.

It is the listener that gives the word power. If not such a big deal is made of it then it diminishes the power of the word.


3663...Rise Up

Michael Ignatieff's rallying cry.

Charles Adler, who likes to think of himself as some sort of national talk show host even though he isn't, calls it Mr. Ignatieff's Howard Dean moment.

Considering that Mr. Adler is, on a good day, a blowhard, his hating on Mr. Ignatieff is a good thing for the Reds and the Dominion.


Saturday, April 16, 2011

3662...Alan Blakeney Is No More

A great
Canadian and the man who implemented the first universal health care system in Canada, has died.

Tommy Douglas had the idea for universal health care but it was under the Saskatchewan NDP government of Woodrow Lloyd and his thirtysomething health minister that it came to be.

Alan Blakeney later came to be the Premier of Sask for over a decade.


3661...Note To Don Cherry

Your beloved Boston Brooms, er, Bruins, Stanley Cup champions 1972, have lost six (6)
play off games in a row.


Which, ironically, is how many men that are allowed on the ice at one time.


Friday, April 15, 2011

3660...Mote Good (Sex) News For Ottawa

Martin Comtois in Le Droit, the French birdcage liner serving ur capital tells all that we are up for a Lingerie Football League team.

Kinda makes sense considering there are like a dozen or more strip joints within a five mile radius of Parliament Hill.

A job creation plan for Helena Guergis too, provided she drops that baby fat and stops snorting coke off hooker's hooters.


3659...Hookers And The Privy Council

Bruce Carson, a PMO staffer, was dating a whore who he brought to 24 Sussex to meet and greet. Allegedly Helena Guergis was snorting coke off a hookers boob, well, at least once.

Throw in Maxime Bernier's ex and this would make Team Stephen Harper the most skank friendly regime in Canuckistanian history.

See, if you look hard enough you will find something that you like in anyone.


3658...Helena Guergis Is A Party Waiting To Happn

Or happening.

Check it out, according to the CBC and a gadzillion other sources the former minister under Stephen Harper " from cabinet, caucus and the Conservative Party last year...[because of]...unsubstantiated claims of fraud, extortion and involvement with prostitutes."

The prostitute thing is kinda cool coz she is alleged to have snorted coke, the drug not the drink, of the breast of a ho.


She is scheduled to hold a news conference this morning to address these charges.

Beauty, eh?


3657...I Could Do This

Reported in every sports page in the world, You Tube and all over the tube:

Kevin Na finds trouble, cards a 16 in Round 1 of Valero Texas Open

On a par 4.

I could do that.

Actually, I have.


3656...Green Party Moron In B. C.

Cut and paste from the Global National yesterday:

ResignationsGLOBAL NATIONALThu Apr 14 2011, 5:30pm ETByline: DAWNA FRIESEN DAWNA FRIESEN: A couple of other campaign notes. A Green party candidate in Surrey, BC has resigned over a comment he posted on his Facebook page suggesting women might enjoy rape.

Surrey Now has more: "Alan Saldanha, who was the party's candidate, bowed out after a controversial comment on his Facebook was made public.

He listed his favourite quote, one he ascribed to Confucius, as: 'if rape is inevitable, lie back and enjoy it!'"

No comment from Liz May, by the way



Thursday, April 14, 2011

3655...Gilles Duceppe Chirps Jack Layton

"At least I never pretend I'll be prime minister."

Thank you Jessica Murphy, Sunmedia.



3654...One Step Forward; Two Steps Back

The day after Toronto Maple Leaf GM Brian Burke recieves an award from Ger's Vision for being gay positive Len Berman reports that "Lakers star Kobe Bryant is fined $100-thousand for yelling an anti-gay slur at an NBA ref during a game."

Mr. Bryant!

Oy vey.


3653...Happy Birthday To You

Pete Rose, the only Major League Baseball player to ever tell the World Famous Dan Shields to "F*ck off, kid.", turned 70 today.

I had the audacity to ask him for an autograph at Jarry Park back in 1970.

Nonetheless, he is the greatest singles hitter of all time and is not in the Hall of Fame. Of course he did bet on baseball and is an all around sleazy dude but still, he did get 4000 plus hits.


3652...Scott Bradley Must Be Proud[er] Today

Scott Bradley is, of course, the Liberal candidate for Parliament and Parliament Hill. More specifically Mr. Bradley is the candidate for Ottawa Centre.

He is also the former president of the student fed at The University of Western Ontario, a prestigious school in London, Ontario.

The reason he is proud[er] today is that the London Free Press is reporting that UWO has been named North America's fourth-best party school by Playboy magazine.

The University of Colorado, Boulder, was number one; Penn State two and; Arizona State Uni was 3rd.

Playboy indicates that the ranking includes the m/f ratio, winning sports teams and academics.


3651...Toronto Gets Its American Football Team

Sez so in the Toronto Sun this very day.

Sadly for Mayor Rob Ford and the rest of the Big Smoke it is not the National Football League but the Lingerie Football League.

In fact if you are an athlete that is also a hottie you may want to cruise down to Soccer World at Polson Pier on the 30th of this month.

Look for me, wearing the chic black sombrero.


3550...They Be High

They be the NDP.

According to Jessica Murphy of Sunmedia Jack Layton, head Dip, is " introduced at NDP rallies as 'Canada's next prime minister'..."

They be high.


Wednesday, April 13, 2011

3549...Barry Bonds Convicted

The greatest offensive player in the history of history has just been convicted of obstruction.


3548...Pizza, Chinese, Beer

The staples of this and every election.

If you are not pounding the streets that will add up to extra pounds.

As a public service I am offering you a way of mitigating that weight gain through an article by Jon Benson:

5 Powerful Fat-Fighting Spices
by Jon Benson

Parsley: Improves digestion so you can use
the foods you eat. The more food you "use"
the less you store as bodyfat.

Basil: Known to us pros as the "secret"
appetite-suppressing herb. Yep... it makes
you feel more full. Fantastic for killing those
late-night carbohydrate cravings.

Oregano: Reduces bloating! I love that.
When you are cutting body fat, you often get
tricked into believing belly bloat is belly
"fat"... but it's not. It's water pulled in from
cells during fat loss processes. Oregano
helps reduce it.

Rosemary: Helps keep you calm and lowers
the bellyfat-storing hormone "cortisol". It's
nature's best cortisol-lowering spice.

Black Pepper: Known fatburner, and it just
tastes really good. Plus a really powerful anti-

-Jon Benson, author - The Every Other Day Diet

You are welcome.


3547...Tonight Is The Night

Forget about the election and the debates.

Tonight the NHL playoffs start.

That is the sh*t in the Great White North.



Len Berman writes that "The NFL released its preseason schedule yesterday. Exactly what football fans were waiting for. They hate preseason games to begin with, and they hate them even more because as of now there is no season. On top of that, the NFL will stage its draft in a couple of weeks. In other words, business as usual. Try telling that to the lowly team employees who have been laid off or have had their salaries slashed"

That's right, we forgot about the regular working slugs that don't make a million a year for word processing. Or, come the fall, the kids that are paying their way through college as vendors during NFL games.

The NFL lock out is unconsiounable. What will be interesting is, if the NFL goes with scabs like the did in the 80's, will Stephen Harper allow scab workers to play at Tronna's Rogers Centre?


3645...Michael Ignatieff Meet Oprah Winfrey

I am sure you all have, as do I, a subscription to Oprah, The Magazine.

Additionally I am sure you have noted that, by coincendence I am certain, Oprah Winfrey is on the cover of that esteemed rag every single month.

Well, well and well this is where Miss/Ms. Winfrey and the man who would be Prime Minister, Michael Ignatieff converge.

What Miss/Ms. Winfrey is to Oprah, The Magazine, Mr. Ignatieff is to The Ottawa Sun.

As in he is on the cover of the Ottawa Sun every freaking day.

Not in a Sunny positive way either.


Tuesday, April 12, 2011

3644...Best Of The Debate

Best Suit: Giiles Duceppe

Best Hair: Gilles Duceppe.

Biggest Habs Fan: Gilles Duceppe.


3643...Oh Canada In A Nutshell

I had to go all the way to France's the for this oh so Canuck story:

No more hockey chatter and other unrelated banter in the operating room will be allowed to B. C. surgeons now onwards as British Columbia medical officials have warned the surgeons to stop the hockey chit-chat in operating rooms, which could upset patients.

The National Hockey League is just around the corner. And thus the advisory has been issued by the College of Physicians and Surgeons of B. C. to the 11,000 doctors of the province reminding them talking only about things related to the surgical task are allowed in the operating room.

Dr. Heidi Otter, Registrar of the province's College of Physicians and Surgeons said that they have issued this advice post listening to a complaint of the patient, who said that his surgeon was discussing a hockey game with nurses while he was operating his eye. Dr. Otter has further marked that a reminder has been included in the quarterly report, which was posted on the licensing body's website last December.

"In a patient-centred system, you first consider the patient. Some patients may want to hear their surgeon announce what is happening and other patients may not want to hear a word," she said.

Oh Canada.


3642...Whores At 24 Sussex

Not just figuratively either.

Thanks to the National Post we all know that "Stephen Harper entertained embattled former aide Bruce Carson and his former fiancée at the prime minister's official residence during a going-away party for outgoing chief of staff Ian Brodie in 2008, a media report said Monday night. Mr. Carson, a former top advisor to Mr. Harper, was convicted of five counts of fraud in the 1980s. According to the Aboriginal Peoples Television Network and confirmed by the Conservative party, Mr. Carson took his former fiancée Barbara Lynn Khan -a former escort -to 24 Sussex in June 2008. Ms. Khan told APTN that she found Mr. Harper "approachable" and "friendly" during a conversation. The Prime Minister's Office has asked the RCMP to investigate accusations that Mr. Carson told representatives of a water purification company, allied to his current fiancée Michelle McPherson, that he could secure a connection to the Prime Minister's Office, ostensibly, to help set up contracts with First Nations communities. Mr. Harper contends that had he known more about Mr. Carson's past, he never would have brought him into his inner circle."

You are no Silvio Berlusconi Stephen Harper but at least you are trying.


3641...Is Ben Johnson Running For Parliament?

Another the world's fastest men is running for national office.

It is widely reported that Carl Lewis is going to run for the Dems in Jersey.

The goal is to be Senator Carl Lewis.


3641...Happy Birthday To Vous

David Letterman.

The former channel 13, Indianapolis, weatherman turns 64.

That will make today's top ten fer sure.


3640...Happy Anniversary

I suppose that is the term.

150 years ago today the bloodiest war in the America's started.

The War Between The States/Civil War.


Monday, April 11, 2011

3639...New Study Shows Booze And Drugs = Sex

Yeah, I know, thank you Captain Obvious.

In a story dropped in Staten Island Live the government of New York City's Department of Health and Mental Hygiene wasted beaucoup d'argent to find out that if teens get high and get drunk they tend to have sex.


I meant, OMFu*ckingG.

Another study funded by NYC's Department of Health and Mental Hygiene has determined that the sky is blue, grass is green and water is wet.


3638...Jack Layton's Luxury Hotel Tour Continues

He opened the campaign at the Fairmont Chateau Laurier, the hotel de hotel's in Ottawa and Saturday he was at the finest inn in Saskatchewan, the Delta Bessborough, to announce, over h'doerves, that the Dippers are "...the NDP is the only party that can take seats from the Conservatives in Saskatchewan, and expressed a strong belief that it will be able to do so, particularly in Saskatoon-Rosetown-Biggar, where returning candidate Nettie Wiebe lost the last election to Conservative Kelly Block by only 262 votes."

He went on to tell the crowd, and the Saskatoon Star-Phoenix, that "You can't trust Michael Ignatieff" and then the leader of team 3 "...went on to criticize the platforms of the Conservative and Liberal parties, stating both involve major cutbacks that Layton said Canadians cannot afford. 'You can't cut $11 billion of services and programs to Canadians without hurting the quality of life of the Canadian people,' he said, referencing the nonspecific savings of that amount indicated in the Conservative platform."

Whatever you say Mr. Layton.

Frankly, I have an expodentially better chance of moving into 24 Sussex and I have a 0.00000000000000000000001 per cent chance of doing so.

Dreamer, you are such a f*cking dreamer.


3637...Things Look Rosy For Helena Guergis

That is what my source, Morgan Ian Adams, tells me.

The former Stephen Harper, kicked out of the party for reasons unknown about a year ago, opened her campaign headquarters on Balsaam Street in Collingwood yesterday and is poised to hold on to the seat she is, uh, sitting in.

Poised may be too strong a word; according to the 308 blogspot she is in third place at 20 plus points. The Tories, who have held the riding for over a century, are in first with 38 and the Reds have 24.

All in all still one to watch.


3636...OMG Canada

Dya realize that there are more teams from California, three, in the NHL playoffs, than from Our Home And Native Land, two.

Do something about that Mikey I/Mr. PM and you will rule forever.

And a day.


3635...Free Shopping In Montreal Wednesday


After the Habs win/lose.

Predictable rioting; I love La Belle.



The Sun, at least the Ottawa Sun, does not like Michael Ignatieff.


Sunday, April 10, 2011

3633...Stephen Harper Hated By Press Gallery

That is what you will read in Mark Bonokoski's Toronto Sun piece this day.

Mr. Bonokoski reports that another scribe, John Ibbitson of the Globe and Mail, wrote that in La Presse, a Montreal broadsheet.

In and of itself that is the beauty of pur beloved Prime Minister. He doesn't give a flying f@ck what the press or the chattering classes think of him. He is not in Ottawa to build up his Facebook friends. He is on Ottawa to do a job.

Of course we do not have his confirmation of such. We will have to wait til he writes his memoirs. Which, for Canada's sake, will start May 3.

Fingers crossed.


3632...Slut Walk Ottawa Is Today

1 30 at Minto Park, that is across from the Starbucks on Elgin.


Saturday, April 9, 2011

3630...Elizabeth May Is In Halifax

She is running in Victoria.


3629...Tiger Woods Winning

Well, almost.

Minus 5: 4 off going into the final round of The Masters.

Charlie Sheen must be so proud.


3628...Tim Hudak: The Wheels Fall Off

Tim Hudak, the leader of the Ontario Tories should be coasting to victory this October versus Premier Dalton McGuinty.

Do not read this as a diss towards the Premier. Lord knows I am voting for him and there is no doubt in mind that he has done right by Ontario.

Nonetheless things should be rosy for Team Hudak.

So what does the Buffalo Bill fan do? He throws 34 year MPP and ex cabinet miniister Norm Sterling under the bus. Smooth move. Better yet Mr. Sterling is considering, according to what I read in the Ottawa Citizen, running as an independent this fall. If Mr. Sterling runs as an independent that opens the door for a McGuintyite to sneak up the middle.

Four more years.

Thank you Mr. Bills fan.


3627...Me And Charlie Sheen

Want Mila Kunis as our next goddess.

Miss Kunis, late of Black Swan, told Popeater that the thought of being one Charlie Sheen's goddesses "...grosses her out."

However she did not comment on the WFDS' want.

Still winning!


Friday, April 8, 2011

3626...Tony Genco Must Have Hair

Best nickname of the 2011 election campaign comes from Warren Kinsella who refers to former Liberal National Grand Puba Rocco Rossi as Benedict Baldy.


3625...Yasir And Arnold

Check it out, I was reading the Los Angeles Times today and found out that my favourite former governor and John Hollingsworth's favourite MPP have something in common.

Vladimir Lenin in the backyard.

Yes, both Arnold Schwarzenegger and Yasir Naqvi have a bust of Mr. Lenin in their backyards.

Now you know.


3624...Say It Ain't So Roger

Roger Goodell, the commishuner on the locked out NFL tells the world that he is going to be diligently having his peeps test for HGH, human growth hormone, and steroids.

First of all, he is lying.

Second of all, he is lying.

If the NFL tested for steroids, well, so much for the six foot eight, three hundred pound men who are faster than Jesse Owens was.

Seriously Mr. Goodell, why you lie?


3623...Is Canuckistan A Police State?

Of course not.

But...Tim Harper writes in the Toronto Star this morning that "Five years ago, the RCMP turned an election in Stephen Harper's favour. This week, with his campaign under fire for booting young voters from his rallies, the Mounties fell on their batons. For a national police force already in turmoil, it was just another in a string of controversies."

Police, the RCMP specifically, are great at policing but when they, for wont of other words, stretch, they Peter Principle themselves.


3622...It's Friday

The day after Thursday.

Party, party, yeah!!!

By the time you read this Rebecca Black will have hit 90 million views.

The chattering classes and the smarter than thou's say she sucks. Well, she sucks 90 million times sports fans.


3621...Elizabeth May Releases Green's Platform

The beauty of not having a snowball's chance in hell of even getting a seat is that she can promise anything.

A N Y T H I N G.

Ditto Jack Layton.


Thursday, April 7, 2011

3620...Good News For PM Sexually

Silvio Berlusconi is the Prime Minister of Italy and Reuters reports that his sex trial has been adjourned until the last day of May.

He is accused of giving a 17 year old Moroccan hottie nick named Ruby beaucoup d'argent and some nice ice to play kiss and tell with him.

As scandals go this one is fun. Plus it has hurt the PM not a bit.


3619...Score One For Women

It has been reported widely that the Olympics will be adding women's ski jumping.

Len Berman says that "...women ski jumpers have been trying forever to get in. In fact, they weren't prevented from competing, they just would have had to do it against men. I covered ski jumping at the Salt Lake games. Most of the jumpers were little guys. It makes sense. It's easier to fly through the air if you're not fat. I equated it to 'jockeys on skis.' And what went unsaid: eating issues. Were ski jumpers starving themselves to stay thin? And will that be an even bigger issue with the women? Too much information?"

Any action that gives women more opportunity is so allllllright by moi.


3618...Stephen Harper To Ban Facebook?

Nah, just a rumour.

He is soooooo pro free speech.

You may recall he is a Libertarian, well, except if you believe in sh*t he doesn't believe in.


Wednesday, April 6, 2011

3617...Sad News For The Stephen Harpers

The Huffington Post is reporting that Glenn Beck will be transitioning off of his daily program on Fox News.

Jack Mirkinson of says, "Beck's production company, Mercury Radio Arts, will instead work with Fox News to produce programs for the channel."

In a joint news release, Fox News and Mercury Radio Arts, Mr. Beck's production company, said that they will " together to develop and produce a variety of television projects for air on the Fox News Channel as well as content for other platforms including Fox News’ digital properties."

Mr. Beck, the statement said, would "...transition off of his daily program, the third highest rated in all of cable news, later this year."

Now where will our beloved PM go for outdated ideas?


3616...Not All Commercialism Is Gross

From Len Berman's sports blog comes this piece about uncrass commercialism:

Not all commercial tie-ins are bad. The San Diego Padres have come up with a good one. If a Padres player hits a homer into a can of paint, $500,000 goes to charity. The local paint company has erected a 10-foot paint can 376 feet from home plate. I like it. I'd like it even better if players from both team were eligible. And how long before a giant cup of Budweiser appears at Busch Stadium?

Perhaps we could bring this to Canada, eh? But instead of baseball use the leaders of the five major parties [note to Kieran Green: yes, Liz May is welcome for this one] and the one who asks the ditziest question gets dumped into a giant Timmy's double double.


3615...How Not To Watch Porn In The Capital

In your car.

This bit from the Albany Times-Union.

A man was arrested in a parking lot and charged with public lewdness Tuesday after employees at a nearby hotel saw him masturbating in his car.

Chad E. Latour of Whitehall was allegedly using the hotel's wireless Internet access to surf the Web for pornography, according to a statement from the Warren County Sheriff's Office. Employees at the hotel called the police. Latour was given a ticket and told to return to Queensbury Town Court on a date not yet scheduled.

At minimum rent a room dude.


3614...Leaders Lead

Simon Houpt in the Globe and Mail today writes that "A slick new Conservative television ad that seeks to present Stephen Harper as a statesmanlike leader bears an unusual number of similarities to a recent commercial for the Tea Party-backed Republican former governor of Minnesota, Tim Pawlenty, and his 2012 presidential run. The 60-second Tory spot titled Our Country, which unfolds like the trailer for a Hollywood political thriller or a boastful Molson Canadian ad, mixes archival scenes from Canada’s glorious past, including the 1988 Olympic torch relay and a black-and-white newsreel snippet of marching soldiers, with sweeping images of the country’s awesome geography, fighter jets and a multicultural passel of faces."

The deal is, Stephen Harper, you are always one or three steps behind the Yanks.

Leaders lead my Prime Minister, leaders lead.


Tuesday, April 5, 2011

3613...Happy Birthday FOX

Born on this
day in


3612...Cheery Morning TV Chat Shows

Are the norm, right?

Today, Canada AM, Good Morning America. Everyone looks sooooooooooooo damn happy to be there.

Except one.

Watch, if you may, A-Channel Ottawa's morning show. OMG, OMFG, sooooo sad. There has been a bit of a shake up with the group in Ottawa. The two decade old morning team at Majic has been quit; the other FM morning show in the building, has been shuffled. The shuffling has taken away at least one of the women personalities, Angie Poirier, from A in the morning and the other woman, Lianne Laing, not in sight this am. Soooooooooooo the two that are left, Kurt Stoodley and Bill W. are, well, a bit, sad. Especially Mr. Stoodley. He looks like someone killed his puppy in front of him before he went to work.

Check it out.


3611...Worst Game In History

Worst championship game at least.

I would be talking about the NCAA Men's basketball championship game last night.



Butler, who lost, shot 18, that is eighteen, one eight, per cent from the floor.

Still, congrats to the U-Conn Huskies.


3610...Scrapping The Gun Registry

That is Stephen Harper's big plan. Well, at least one of them.

Look, whether it is/was not a good idea, fact of the matter is the deal is done and it is my understanding that now that the gun registry is in place it only costs about four million a year.

So shut the f*ck up, k?


BTW: Your peeps, the police chiefs of Our Home And Native Land, love the gun registry and their officers consult it. All-the-time.

Monday, April 4, 2011

3609...Today Should Be MLK Day

For it was on this day in 1968 that shots rang out in the Memphis sky.

James Earl Ray murdered the body that Martin Luther King inhabited.

He could not kill his spirit.


3608...TV Tip

Tonight at 9 the world, well me, will be hovered over the Sylvania coz this is it. 'tis the end of the tourney and tonight's NCAA Championship game between Butler, last year's runner up, and U-Conn tips off at 9:23 Eastern on CBS.

And TSN. But watch the CBS feed coz you will get the Yankee adverts and they are soooooooo much better.

For those of you who are more hardcore, the women's final tomorrow night will feature two surprise teams, Notre Dame and Texas A&M. U-Conn wins this thing like every year and had won something like 999 of their last 1000 games. Not last night. The Irish upset two time defending champs 72-63.


3607...Speaking Of Pierre Poilievre

Would someone tell the esteemed member for Nepean Carleton that November was forever ago and you can take the picture of you wearing the poppie off your website.


3606...Liberal Candidate A Target

As in bullseye.

I am sure you have heard the tale of Ryan Keon who is running for the Reds in a riding, Nepean Carleton, against that little sh*t Pierre Poilievre.

The tale, widely reported, is that Mr. Keon's signs, a hundred or more, were defaced with said bullseyes. The National Post quotes our beloved PM and "...Conservative leader Stephen Harper [who] said defacing candidates' signs is never acceptable. 'Our campaign does not have the time to do that. We've got enough to do to get our own signs up, as we've got lots of demands for signs across the country.'"

Pretty organized for vandals.

Here is my advice for Mr. Keon. Leave the f*cking signs up.

Everytime they are viewed it will remind folks what a little sh*t Pierre Poilievre is.


Sunday, April 3, 2011

3605...Stephen Harper The Libertarian

Y'hear that all the time.

Doug Cuthand of the Saskatoon Star-Phoenix is the latest.

Folks, please, sound out the word. Libertarian. Liberty. One of Mr. PM's plans is to build jails.

That is anti Libertarian.


Saturday, April 2, 2011

3604...Jack Layton, Prime Minister



3603...This Is Your Capital

Walking dog Mara down Sherwood Drive, a posh street in Ottawa.

I note that a good citizen of my hometown has tagged the sign in front of the Vietnamese delegation.

With an elegant 420.

This is your capital.


Friday, April 1, 2011

3602...May Be This'd Help Liz May

This is the supreme sacrifice of the magestic chicken.

The Ottawa Citizen tells the world that two high school baseballers in Dallas allegedly killed two chickens to break their slump in performance.

Well, Ms. May, you are 0 for 2, eh?


3601...Tory Loyalty

Norm Sterling.

Mr. Sterling was an MPP, is still the sitting MPP, for Carleton Mississippi Mills since platform shoes an bellbottoms were in style the FI R ST

Last night, as a reward for his 34 years of service, Tim Hudak threw Mr. Sterling under the bus.

Loyal. You are not loyal Mr. Hudak.