Tuesday, July 31, 2012

4958...Ramadan Problem At Olympics

It has to be rough being a practicing Muslim at the Olympics this time out.

It is Ramadan which means that they gotta fast from sun up to sundown.

Like, and you know you don't haveta tell me, it is not tough enough being a world class athlete without having to fast.


4957...Andrea Horvath Breaking The Law

Breaking the law, breaking the law she is.

It was Jonathan Jenkins of the Toronto Sun who broke the story of the NDP leader and her peeps are driving the official Syracuse Orange NDP Ford Escape hybrid SUV around town and the province they hope to run with a sticker that hasn't been valid since March of this year.  That's a sticker that has been invalid for four months.  

“'We are in the process of getting our licence sticker updated,' Shamini Selvaratnam, NDP communications director told the Sun."

The process, that is hilarious.  The process is you go to the license bureau and get a sticker.  Takes two hours max, including travel time.

In an email to the Sun the snarky Ms. Selvaratnam said “Now we can go back and talk about the issues that matter to Ontarians,”

Like following the law?

BTW, as the photo below evidences, Ms. Horvath put the sticker on the front.


Breaking the law, breaking the law.


4956...Parental Control Tip

From George Takei


Monday, July 30, 2012

4955...Why Is Mitt Romney In Europe?

I don't get it.

Besides the fact that he has stuck his foot in it in England, Israel and was greeted with chants of Obama! Obama! in Poland, isn't this an odd place for the GOP candidate to be?

Just asking.


4954...Get Buffalo Tim Hudak To Read This

"The first AFL preseason game. The Boston Patriots beat the Buffalo Bills 28-7 before 16,474 fans in Buffalo. 1960."

Thanks to Len Berman's That's Sports.

Bet this will make Buffalo Tim's heart skip a beat.


4953...Put Your Head On My Shoulder

Hintonburg, Ottawa boy Paul Anka has 71 candles on his cake today.


4952...Parental Control

This mum is a diabolical genius!

You are welcome.


4951...Drake Gets A Ring

Hey his Jimmy character on Degrassi was all set to play at the next level before he got shot and ended up in a wheelchair so it seems just right that Toronto's own Drake would get himself a ring.

Apparently he has supplanted Ashley Judd as the University of Kentucky's number one super star super fan.

This is from his Instantgram feed.



At theLondon Olympics, on now. 

According to Deadspin there are 204 teams in this year's Olympics; that is more teams, by eleven, than there are countries in the United Nations but four athletes slipped under the radar.

Three  of the jocks are "Reginald de Windt, a judoka, Lee-Marvin Bonevacia, a distance runner, and Philipine van Aanholt, a sailor, all hail from Curacao, which until 2010 was part of the Netherlands Antilles."  The Netherland Antilles gave up the ghost and is now a province of the Netherlands disenfranchising these three.

The fourth is a marathoner who lives in the States but is South Sudanese.  South Sudan is just a tad over a year old and is having some issues with its former civil war opponent Sudan, a famine, other new country issues.  So Flagstaff, Arizona resident Guor Marial is going to be an independent athlete but truly he is representing South Sudan in the Olympics.  A marathoner, Mr. Marial ran his first marathon last year in a not too shabby time of 2:14 and change.  Marathon fans will recall that was my time in the Ottawa Marathon this year.   


Sunday, July 29, 2012

4949...James Holmes Is The New 911, JFK Etc

James Holmes is the stronzo who allegedly got all armoured up and murdered twelve people at the new Batman flick's debut in Aurora, Colorado last week.

He is also the new focus point for the conspiracy freaks on the 'net and on the planet.

Apparently the CIA/KGB/Knights of Columbus are all over this and he had help and it is part of a deeper plot to...

Sports fans, some things are what they are.

Please take note of the following:

  • 911 really happened.
  • Neil Armstrong did walk on the moon in 1969.
  • Lee Harvey Oswald murdered John Fitzgerald Kennedy.
Oh and James Holmes is James Holmes, not a government plant.

Y'all gots to give yer heads a big shake, eh?


4948...Dean Del Mastro Off The Hook

No, he is not a rapper or a hip-hop star, not that kind of off the hook.

According to Brendan Wedley in Friday's Peterborough Examiner "Elections Canada doesn’t seem to be investigating an alleged kickback scheme organized by a cousin of Peterborough MP Dean Del Mastro for donations made to the Conservative MP’s 2008 election campaign."

If an election fraud happens in the forest and no one acknowledges it then it didn't happen.

Welcome to the Nixonian world of Stephen Harper.


Saturday, July 28, 2012

4947...Big Announcement From Bob Rae

The leader of the Liberal Party of Canada announced on Facebook this morning that he is writing a book.

50 Shades of Rae.

Please, Lord, no.


Friday, July 27, 2012

4946...Say It Ain't So Anthony Furey

Say it ain't so, say it ain't so.

The Sunmedia comment editor writes that "Over the next few years, all districts of the Ontario Soccer Association are doing away with scorekeeeping in sports for players under the age of 13.  They want to focus more on controlling the ball, passing and things like that."

Anthony Furey goes on to point out that the logical place to practice would be practice.

It is so.


4945...Occupy Riverdale High School

Not the one in Moose Jaw; the one in Archie Andrews' hometown of Riverdale, USA.

Yes the cover of the current Archie comic, on display at the Mac's Milk in Greenboro, Ottawa, is all about Occupy Riverdale.

Y'all shoulda read Sun Tzu.


4944...Mitt Romney Swings For The Fences

The presumptive Republican candidate for POTUS caused a media fire storm the other day when he, I am quoting from The Guardian, was "...questioning whether London was capable of staging a successful Olympic Games."

In my view it was/is a brilliant move.  Dude is losing, losing, losing but if the wheels fall off in London he will look like a seer and will be able to finger point his way to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

That is the snail mail addy for The White House.  


4943...London Olympics Start Today

Officially that is.

Beauty of the Olympics is the fact that within a week myself and thousands of other sports fans who don't follow rhythmic gymnastics, weightlifting or even know what the modern pentathlon is will suddenly become experts.

Gotta love it.


Thursday, July 26, 2012

4942...Bad Taste Award Of The Day/Month/Year

Broom Hilda Comic Strip - Russell Myers (July 25, 2012)WFDS

4941...Mick Jagger Turns His Fave Number Today


He doesn't look a day over 80.

Happy birthday.


4940...End Of The World As We Know It

As I write this Twitter is down.


If it happened a day or two ago Paraskevi Papachristou, the Greek triple jumper, would be on her way to London.


4939...First Olympic Faux Pas

You may be aware of the fact that things are touchy between the North and South environs of Korea.  It was in all the papers as is the story about a bit of a brouhaha that occurred before North Korea's women played the Colombian women in the opening round of Olympic soccer.  

The genie in charge of the flags in London popped up the South Korean flag which made the North Koreans retreat into their locker room for an hour.

Then they came out and beat the Colombian team two zip.


4938...Rob Ford Is A Sit Com

More like a cartoon character than a mayor, Hizzoner Rob Ford of Toronto has some pretty unusual friends.

SUN TV's Warren Kinsella blogs this morning about Mr. Ford's photo op with Neo-Nazi John Latvis who styles himself as a racial warrior and all that.  Even has a band, RAHOWA.

This pic should help at the doors in Forest Hills and Jane/Finch, eh?



4937...Ottawa Rock Star Appears In Court Y'day

580 CFRA reports that Father Joe LeClair, ex of The Glebe's Blessed Sacrament Church, appeared in court.

"LeClair was charged earlier this month with fraud, theft, money laundering, and breach of trust after an 11-month police investigation."

He truly was a rock star in Ottawa, marrying and burying la creme de la creme of RC society.  Hockey stars, the mayor, he was da man.  


Wednesday, July 25, 2012

4936...Headline Of The Day Is From Yer Capital

It's a beauty.

From The Ottawa Citizen.

Gatineau violent crime figures skewed by 2011 murders

Stupid murders.


4935...The End Of The World As We Know It

Hard to believe but back in the day, a quarter century ago, it was obligatory to smoke on buses, planes, in pubs, elevators, schools, restaurants.

Now this.

In this day's Ottawa Sun comes the stunning news that the Conservation Co-op in Ottawa's Sandy Hill neighbourhood has voted to go smoke free by January 19th of next year.  Tobacco and marijuana.  

Potawa will never be the same.


4934...Elections Canada No Immunity4Del Mastro

Or any of the peeps involved in the tangled web our beloved Prime Minister's Parliamentary Secretary is weaving.

Twas in The Ottawa Citizen and all the other Postmedia papers plus Canada.com.

On the plus side for El Roundo, stripes are slimming.


4933...Meeting Of Minds: Harper Et Ford

Oh to be a fly on the wall.

Seriously, all they seem to understand, from the various reports I have read/heard/viewed is punishment.

Punishment works with people who have something to lose.

Losers who shoot up block parties and malls and movie theatres don't have anything to lose.


4932...[Almost] Culling The Herd [Almost]

Dennis Miller once said that inbreeding is so prevalent in Georgia that "He met a man who was his own father."

This may be the man.

WJBF-TV, serving the home of The Masters, Augusta, Georgia, reports that William Bonner, 36, was at the Allie Katz Bar Thursday night when I decided it would be a good, no, great idea to pour Bacardi 151 on his head, that is where the brain is btw, and light it on fire.

Took our hero a couple of cracks to get the fire started but when he did his head burned up real good.

He was in intensive care til Sunday; his nascent modelling career is up in smoke.


Tuesday, July 24, 2012

4931...Something To Do A Week From Saturday

And it is at the bar that my dad and my uncle drank away my childhood in!


4930...Lawyers Have To Be Lawyers

Like go to school and everything.  Cut and paste from 580CFRA.

Charge Man for Posing as a Lawyer

Stephanie Kinsella

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Ottawa police have charged a 32 year old male with fraud after they say he posed as a lawyer.

Neil Shah - also known as Deep Singh Shah - faces two counts of fraud over $5000, possession of property obtained by a crime, forgery and laundering proceeds of a crime.

The frauds occurred in 2011 and 2012 when Shah operated a law office on Laurier Avenue.

Police believe he may have misrepresented himself to other people - anyone who dealt with him is asked to call police at 236 1222 ext 5161.

4929...Please Pass This On To Stephen Harper

Hard to argue:

I believe that is what FDR's New Deal did; here is an opportunity for our beloved Prime Minister to step up to the plate.


4928...Bill Maher Knows Who Bob Rae Is

How cool is that?

Huffington Post reports that they are even email pals!


bill maher bob rae seal hunt

4927...This Is Why We Need To Build Jails

The headline says it all:

Crime rate in Canada in 2011 at lowest level since 1972: StatsCan

And you want to build jails pour quoi Stephen Harper?


4926...Poor Joe Paterno; Poor Penn State

Len Berman sums it up nicely on Facebook:

The Paterno family says the NCAA's punitive actions "defame" Joe Paterno's legacy. Ah, now I've got it. Failing to protect kids wasn't the problem, losing some football wins makes him look bad.


4925...69 000 Dollar Barista

Give or take.

Your armed forces are looking for a manager for the coffee services at the Saint Jean Garrison in La Belle.

The Ottawa Citizen reports that the job is open to Corporals only and pays between 53 and 69 k plus benefits.


Monday, July 23, 2012

4924...Aurora, Eaton Centre, Danzig Shootings

The reaction from the powers that be in each horrific case is similar.

The question Slate poses is direct.

"'Soothing words are nice,' but time for Obama, Romney to 'tell us what they are going to do about it.'"


4923...We All Scream For Ice Cream Cones

Len Berman's That's Sports says that July 23rd is the day that "A vendor named Charles Menches came up with the concept of an ice cream cone at the St. Louis World's Fair. 1904."

Jenny Craig should send him a card.


4922...Monica Lewinsky Meet Jack Benny

Both icons from back in the day.

Both 39.

One perpetually; one today.


4921...When Is The PM Finishing That Book

You know the one.

The one on hockey.

Our beloved Prime Minister Stephen Harper has repeatedly said that he is working on a hockey book.

When are we going to see it?

To be fair Mr. Harper has not said whether he is writing a book on hockey, reading a book on hockey or colouring a book on hockey.

The last one is the toughest.

So many colours.


4920...Rob Ford Pulls A Kwame Kirkpatrick

In terms of his ride that is.

Hizzoner had been tooling around Toronto, btw he drives himself everywhere which saves the city a few shekels, in a rattling old Chev minivan.


This morning's Toronto Star reports that his two brothers got him a brand new black Cadillac Escalade for his 43rd birthday.


By the way for my 43rd birthday I got socks.



Sunday, July 22, 2012

4919...Gangs, Guns, Fear: A Solution

Of sorts.

In the aftermath of the Danzig and Eaton Centre shootings in Toronto; the Batman tragedy in Aurora, Colorado and; even shootings in little ol' Ottawa comes a brilliant plan from Kenny Robinson.

Mr. Robinson opines on Facebook that "Since we cannot stop criminals from obtaining guns, and the right is against Social programs, howz about setting up a marksman program so the thugs can become better shots and only hit who they are aiming at.
Just thinking out of the box"

Sics all over the place.


4918...Scott Gomez Scores

This has to be front page news in Montreal where the Habs have Scott Gomez penciled in at 7.357 million, 12th in the league against the cap, to score goals.

He took a one year sabbatical from goal scoring, February 2011 to February 2012, but did not miss a direct deposit.  Not one.

Thursday of last week, a Thursday in July, Mr. Gomez did score.  The Anchorage Daily News reports that the Alaska native scored a hole in one at his own golf tournament and won a 50,000$ SUV.  

Follow the money.


4917...Good News For Quebec Workers

At least for Quebec workers who table dance.

Tom Godfrey in yesterday's Toronto Sun tells that "Ottawa has slammed the door shut on all foreign sex trade workers seeking work in Canada.  Border services officers have been told to stop processing work permits as of July 14 in which women are destined for employers where 'there are reasonable grounds to suspect a risk of sexual exploitation.'”

I see an adjustment in the market coming.


4916...Basketball Day In Ottawa W/NBA Stars Too

Or one.

Basketball Day in Ottawa is today.  There is a little tourney in the city's eastern end at La Cite, a french college on Carson road.

Some brilliant players in the tourney including former Canadian players of the year Oz Jeanty, Tyson Hinz and former Raptor Milt Palacio.

Five bux plus rice and beans for five bux a plate.

Look for me courtside wearing my special basketball sombrero.


Saturday, July 21, 2012

4915...Brett Farve Is Coming Back To Football

This time the NFL's all time leading passer will work at Oak Grove High School in Hattiesburg, Mississippi.

The Biloxi Sun-Herald thinks number 4 will probably be the offensive coordinator for the high school power.



4914...93 Million Dollar Harvard Man

That is negative 93 million.

According to today's Globe and Mail that is how much equity has been lost by the parent company of the New York Knickerbockers coz they allowed Jeremy Lin to escape to Dallas.

Coz they wouldn't match the 25 mill Mark Cuban's Mavericks are paying the first Harvard star and first U.S. born Asian star in the NBA.

Somebody has some 'splaining to do.


4913...You Wouldn't Catch Harper Doing This

No I don't believe our beloved Prime Minister goes on too many [or any] safaris.

The Washington Post reports that Juan Carlos, the King of Spain, has been the honourary president of the World Wildlife Fund of his country since his pre-King days.  1968 to be precise.   

The reason he was dumped from the high profile gig was coz  the WWF thinks that "...his recent elephant hunting safari was incompatible with its goal of conserving endangered species."

Reasonable, eh?  


4912...What, There Are TWO Sault Ste. Maries?

Marcel Beauparlant of Sudbury should have paid more attention during geography class back in the '90s.

The 30 year old was off to Thunder Bay for a job when he inadvertently ended up on the highway to Sault, Michigan.  A highway that is blocked by a United States Customs post.

QMI reports that Mr. Beauparlant asked to not enter the US of A, an unusual request at a port of entry; the US of A asked him to pull over, searched his ride and found some pot, a pipe, papers and have charged Mr. Beauparlant.


4911...Rob Ford Wants To Exile Gang Bangers

But whatcha going to do with the one's that are born in Canada?

Exile them to Northern Ontario.

And by Northern Ontario I mean NORTHERN Ontario.  Like Moose Factory.  Or points north of that.

You are welcome Mr. Mayor.


Friday, July 20, 2012

4910...Things That Make U Go WTF

4909...Premier McGuinty Doesn't Freak Out

The recent spate of violence is terrible in Toronto nonetheless Premier Dalton McGuinty is not out on a ledge.

Judy Sgro, the Member of Parliament for York West reports on Facebook that:

Earlier today Premier McGuinty said that he plans to get tough on the things that cause street crime and violence. Unlike his counterpart in Ottawa (the Conservative PM) the premier clearly understands that punishment is only one part of the crime agenda. Let's address poverty, family breakdown and unemployment and see what happens.
He gets it.


4908...Isn't That Ironic?

Perhaps in the Alanis Morrisetteian Glebe High School, Ottawa fashion, nonetheless, Hall of Fame journalist E. Kaye Fulton has this on my Facebook wall:

E. Kaye FultonOn June 2, compelled by an 'odd feeling' of premonition, Jessica Ghawi fled the food court at Toronto's Eaton Centre food court just moments before a gunman opened fire, killing two and injuring six others. Describing the experience in a blog, she wrote: "I can't get this odd feeling out of my chest. This empty, almost sickening feeling won’t go away." Today we learn that Jessica Ghawi is reportedly one of the 12 victims randomly killed in Denver.
Isn't that ironic?  Doncha think?


4907...Ninth Annual Capital Classic Starts Tonight

4906...Marilu Henner Lost Her Virginity This Day

In 1969.

That was also the day that Neil Armstrong took a walk on the moon.

You are now conversationally armed for the BBQ tonight.


4905...Happy Ramadan

Starts today.


Thursday, July 19, 2012

4904...Je Suis Confused About Lib Leadership

Bob Rae:  too old.

Justin Trudeau:  too young.

What would be the exact right age please?


4903...Porn In Theatres: How 1980s Of You


Adult movie theatres.

They have them in Hollywood.

One of them is called The Tiki Theater.

Reason I know this is that TMZ reports that one of my fave comics, star of Fernwood Tonight, Spinal Tap and The Anchorman, Fred Willard, got caught with his pants down at The Tiki Theater last night.

On a more serious note, adult movie theatres?  Ottawa is more up to date than Hollywood; we have the 'net for our porn.  And french TV.


4902...Dalton McGuinty Is Just Like Heinz

The Ottawa South MPP and the greatest Premier of the millennium turns 57 today.

If I am wrong, blame Liberal insider Rachel Decoste; if I am right have a drink for da man.

Happy Birthday Mr.Premier.


4901...Stephen Harper It Is Your Turn

To step up the the plate for a hockey hero.

Mixed metaphor, eh?  But still Mr. Prime Minister your help is needed.

The whole deal was laid out in The Toronto Star yesterday but I will break it down for you.  Liam Maguire, he is the hockey trivia freak and historian out of Ottawa, owns a self named restaurant just south of your crib actually, good wings.  Anyhow Mr. Maguire is really pushing for you to help Paul Henderson, number 19, the lad who scored the winning goal back in '72s Canada/Russia series, wants you to help him get The Order Of Canada.

Problem is Mr. Henderson isn't a poet or a soap sculptor or a singer or anything but a Canadian hockey icon and that doesn't seem to fly with the elites that decide who gets The Order.

That is why your help is needed Mr. Harper.

One last thing:  time is running out.  Mr. Henderson is dying from the Big C.  So if you could move on this as fast as your Parliamentary Secretary Dean Del Mastro moves on a basket of fries and wings it would be appreciated by all.


4900...Rob Ford's Plan Is Foolproof

It was in The Toronto Star today.

Toronto shooting: Mayor Rob Ford says gang members should leave the city

He is so ahead of his game.


Wednesday, July 18, 2012

4899...Chicken For Casanova

Casanova McKenzie is a high school football star who narrowed down his scholarship offers to two Tigers, Clemson and Auburn.

Buzz60.com tells that the reason Mr. McKenzie committed to Charles Barkley's alma mater of Auburn was the fact that there is a Chick-Fil-A on campus.

Man, if he only knew about the poutine stuffed chicken at Super C in Gatineau he would come here and play for the U of Zero Gee Gees.


4898...At Least Peter McKay Is Pretty

The minister in charge of important stuff has shown his absolute non grasp of basic history.

You may recall that a couple of years ago the Honourable Peter MacKay had California and B.C. sharing a border.  Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger had to explain to the man that Oregon and Washington kind of take up 800 kms of space betwixt British Columbia and Cali.

Now The Ottawa Citizen reports that the esteemed member of our beloved Prime Minister's inner circle has the French fighting with the British, that is us, in the War of 1812.  Wrong again sir, wrong again.

The scary and serious thing about this is Mr. MacKay makes big decisions and runs a major portfolio.  He may be just a pretty face but one would think that he would surround himself with staffers that are smart enough and secure enough to fact check.


4897...Yer Under Arrest

Mr. NFL player.

Len Berman's That's Sports has a nice little piece this morning about the 50 and the NFL.  The catalyst for the piece was Dez Bryant's recent arrest for punching out his mama.  Ah, the 4th commandment is over rated anyhow.  The receiver is the 11th Dallas Cowboy to be arrested since 2000 which, according to the San Diego Union-Tribune, puts America's team in 26th place in the NFL in arrests.

"The Minnesota Vikings lead the way with a stunning 39, while the Jets and Rams have the fewest with 7 and 8 apiece."

I try to stay current on these sorts of things and truly cannot recall an Ottawa Senator ever getting pinched.  One would have to consult Ottawa hockey wizard Liam McGuire for confirmation of this but I would guess that the number of NHL players arrested this millenium would be less than one NFL team, the Minnesotas.  And if you took out DUIs...


4896...Today's Reason To Hit The SAQ/LCBO

Or where ever you get your libations.

94 candles on Nelson Mandela's birthday cake today.

Give 'er.


4895...Father Of The Year 2012

Is definitely not going to be William May of Toledo, Ohio.

Shutterstock.com reports that Mr. May's daughter, four-year-old McKenna May, who has had leukemia since she was two, was picked by the local Make A Wish Foundation for a trip to Disneyworld.  Mr. May refused to sign off on the trip coz "I think it should go to kids who only have six months to live..."

Of course there is an underlying factor and that factor is Mr. May is upset with his baby mama and her mom and is using his little girl as a weapon.

People you will meet in hell.


Tuesday, July 17, 2012

4894...Rob Ford Is Simple

Simple as in KISS, keep it simple stupid.  

Love or hate him, and it seems all the cool kids hate him, the Mayor of Toronto has, in the aftermath of the worst shooting in Toronto history Monday night, a plan.  His plan, reported in The Toronto Star, is a simple one:  “...the best social program around is a job.” 

True dat.


4893...Sure Air Canada Is Expensive

But their food comes needle free.

That's a guarantee.

Not so much on Delta, who BBC reports has had a number of instances over the last few days of sewing needles in their sandwiches.

If only there was an object that detected metal...


4892...Fiat Takes On Tim Horton's

The Daily Mail tells all that the ninth biggest auto maker in the world and the major shareholder in Chrysler is threatening the drive thru in a serious way.

The threat for Tim's is "...the new Fiat 500L, which will be released later this year, will come with a coffee-maker next to the gear-stick.   The Lavazza-branded kit even comes with a sugar container, 'pod dispenser', and a spoon."

And no line ups.


4891...The Return Of Senator Ponytail

Yesterday the crack news team at CTV broke the story that "Sen. Patrick Brazeau is back on Twitter with a promise to 'be nice from now on,' a little more than two weeks after he insulted a journalist for reporting on his attendance record and challenged another over a civil court case."

His Twitter id is The Brazman.

Dit bonjour pour moi svp.


4890...Baseball Breaks The Coloured Line

Back on this day in 1954 the Brooklyn Dodgers fielded a team that had more blacks on the field than whites.

This was a huge deal and still is.

The only sport that hasn't had more blacks on the field of play than whites is the NHL but it is coming sports fans.


4889...Limits On Donations To Politics Sucks

These silly laws limiting how much you can give to political parties and candidates in Canada [and Quebec, Stephen Harper's Nation Within A Nation] suck.  

Here is why.  It takes the fun of watching rich people spend inordinate amounts of money to put great ads on the tube.  Plus it takes Sarah Silverman and her scissoring out of the game.

Sheldon Adelson, a 78 year old Vegas billionaire, has offered 100 million to Mitt Romney; Ms. Silverman, who back in the early part of the century was Maxim's 74th hottest chick in the world, has offered to scissor Mr. Adelson if he will make that cheque out to Barack Obama.

I kid you not.  http://scissorsheldon.com/

She is a great American.  Pretty hard to get that worked up over an 1,100 dollar donation, eh?

Oh Canada.


Monday, July 16, 2012

4888...Kitty Wells Gone Like A Hurricane

She played Barrymore's, a wonderful old theatre/dump in the skidish part of downtown Ottawa, about fifteen blocks south of The Hill, when she was in her 80's.

The Queen of Country Music, Kitty Wells, is dead at 92.

WKRN Nashville's News 2 reports she died peacefully surrounded by family.



4887...National Ice Cream Day Was Yesterday!

So embarrassed I am.

So embarrassed.

To the level that I had two litres of Breyer's Apple Pie Ice Cream, on sale for 2.99$ at Shopper's Drug Mart til Thursday, for breakfast.


4886...What Year Is It In Egypt?


Hilary Clinton, the Secretary of State, is over in Egypt doing her thing.  

Yahoo reports that Madame Secretary "...was taunted by chants of 'Monica, Monica' by tomato-throwing demonstrators as she visited the Egyptian port city of Alexandria on Sunday."

Nice to see that they stay current in Egypt.


4885...Vic Toews Fantasy

Via Jesse Brown and Macleans.

Deep in the bowels of the RCMP’s Ottawa headquarters, thousands of Mounties are scanning the Internet for signs of wrongdoing.  They read every blog post and comment written by Canadians, hunting for clues.  They watch every YouTube video we upload, scrutinizing the shaky footage for incriminating evidence.  Eventually, something pops: a kidnapped child in the blurry background of an Instagram picture! An anonymous post on Tumblr containing information known only to a wanted felon! The Mounties pull the I.P. address of each suspicious uploader and immediately contact the Internet service provider associated with it. All they need now is the given name of the subscriber assigned to that unique I.P., and they can swoop in for a quick arrest. 

Black helicopters.


4884...Tim Powers Schools Dean Del Mastro

Tim Powers is probably the highest profile non elected/appointed Conservative in your nation's capital.
He is all over CFRA, a big deal in this town and a pillar of the community starting with the food bank.  

When he says something to Dean Del Mastro, El Roundo should listen.  

The Hill Times sums up Mr. Del Mastro's problems, stating in today's rag that "News of the investigation broke on June 6 when The Ottawa Citizen’s Glen McGregor and Postmedia’s Stephen Maher—who have been following Elections Canada court filings since breaking the robocalls story—reported based on a sworn affidavit from Elections Canada investigator Thomas Ritchie that Mr. Del Mastro’s 2008 election campaign had allegedly filed a 'false document.'”

Mr. Power's judicious advice for his beleaguered fellow Tory is to advise him that “He may want to take a polished sort of lawyerly approach to all this.”  Mr. Power's notes that “People admire and respect Dean because he’s tenacious and a fighter. Probably here, he’s being more of a boxer than he should be...” 

I know you read this DDM; are you going to take heed?


Sunday, July 15, 2012

4883...Tourism Down In Athens

Greece, not Georgia.  Or Ontario.

This stunning news surprisingly does not come from the CBC or Radio Canada.  This Pulitzer Prize caliber story comes from National Public Radio.  Joanna Kakissis is the reporter.

Amazing, eh?  Tourists are not attracted to a country that has social unrest, an unstable government and marching in the streets.  Unless, of course, you can touch strippers which is Montreal's key to success.


4882...Tories Announce Cancelling Jet Buys

Well they should.  C'mon, c'mon, let's face facts:  The F something or others are way,way,way too expensive.  

Shoot, for the price of one plane the Stephen Harpers could build a re edumacation camp, er, prison, for   Canuckistanians who neglect to conform to the wants of our beloved PM.

For defense, air defense, the WFDS is advising the Royal Canadian Air Force [is that what it is called?; I am not super current on my reading of Jane's] to start raising and using Turkey Vultures as weapons.

Turkey Vulture is not code for anything; it is code for big bird.  A bird that David Pugliese of The Ottawa Citizen writes "...has sidelined one of the Canadian Forces’ VIP Challenger jets after a mid-air collision between the two severely damaged the plane."  The plane may have to be scrapped.

Here is the plan.  Instead of buying new jets for gadzillion dollars let's breed gadzillion turkey vultures.  Then when the bad guys invade our airspace we fling a gaggle of these guys at them.  

You are welcome.


4881...Dean Del Mastro Step Aside

I do make fun of the porcine [not to mention truth challenged] MP from Peter Patch but, alas, I am a definite challenge for El Roundo.

According to something I picked off http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-18770328 of I have a higher BMI than 84 per cent of men in the world.

"If everyone in the world had the same BMI as you, it would add 68,569,678 tonnes to the total weight of the world's population." 

No more poutine for breakfast.

Or ice cream.

Beer, but only for medicinal purposes.


4880...They Melt In Your Can; Not In Your Mouth

They are the new Canuck brown bills, the 100s.    And the 50s.

Although the manufacturers of the bills say that they boiled them for an hour there are still problems.   "The [Toronto] Star’s Rick Brennan reports, the Bank of Canada has been fielding its share of complaints recently that the new plastic cash can’t take the heat. There are reports of bills melting in a tin box stashed next to a baseboard heater. Or in a wallet left, improbably, atop a toaster oven."

The Bank of Canada is pretty much in typical bureaucratic deny mode, hence the note about boiling them.  Good news is that if you leave them in your Levis before you wash and dry them you should be good.  "The Star’s Kaleigh Rogers ran a few of the bills through a laundromat dryer without doing them any harm."


4879...Breaking Bad

The greatest show on TV ever, movies too, according to IMDB, is back tonight.

Thank you AMC.

And a bigger thank you to whomever in the US of A that is going to upload for me.


Saturday, July 14, 2012

4878...New Stadium For Regina

Brand new joint to be built in the Queen City.

Opening in time for the 2017 CFL season.

It is only going to cost the Saskatchewan Roughriders 25 million.

The Regina Leader-Post reports that the province and the city of Regina are kicking in the other 253 million.

I wonder what Ian Lee, John Martin and Ottawa's Friends of Lansdowne think of this deal?


4877...Drew Brees Makes More Than Whole CFL

The New Orleans' Saints QB's new deal, Laid out in this morning's Ottawa Sun, 100 mill with 60 guaranteed, is more than the entire CFL, players, coaches, ankle tapers, will make this year.

Crazy, eh?



4876...Hope Today Mooney's Bay

If those words mean something to you and you are looking to have some fun Hope Volleyball at Mooney's Bay, Ottawa, is the place to be.

There will be over a thousand volleyball teams ranging from college and pro calibre players to people like me who suck badly, serve underhand and like having fun.

Plus great music starts at 11 this a.m. with Down In Ashes, who are one of those bands that just might.

As a bonus thousands upon thousands of women having been working out and dieting hard for this day; ditto the men.

Double bonus:  all the profit goes to various charites.

Look for me in the white sombrero, to reflect the stifling heat in your capital.


Friday, July 13, 2012

4875...Question For Dean Del Mastro And Tories

Dean Del Mastro is the Parliamentary Secretary to his Lordship, Stephen Harper, our beloved Prime Minister so I am certain that proper etiquette indicates that questions to Sir Nibs go through El Roundo.

The question is, where were the Canuck Olympic uniforms manufactured?

Why I bring this up is that it has come to my attention, via Len Berman's That's Sports, that law makers in the Lower 48 are some upset that the USA unis are made in China.


4874...Bob Barker May Be Right

The Calgary Stampede is a meat grinder for animals.

CBC Calgary reports that three horses died in a chuckwagon race yesterday.

This happens all the time at The Stampede.

I am not a rodeo fan but surely there is something that can be done.  Forty, fifty years ago being an Indy or F-1 race car driver was like being a fighter pilot:  rent don't buy.  But they, the proverbial they, fixed it and now is safe.

Fix it already.


Thursday, July 12, 2012

4873...Lord Stanley Visits Quebec

Sadly only a visit.

Global News reports that Jonathan Bernier, the number two goalie with the Los Angeles Kings, brought the Stanley Cup home to Laval earlier today.

Laval is a city/suburb of Montreal; Montreal of course is the rightful permanent home of the Stanley Cup.


4872...Bill Cosby Is 75

It is all over the media.

For those of you that don't recall/were not born, his 1980's TV show, which ran at 8 on NBC Thursday night, was so powerful that they pushed back the start time of the World Series so as not to conflict with  Dr. Huxtable.

The show opposite to it on the then fledgling FOX was The Simpsons.  The irony being that the live action show was more cartoonish than the cartoon.



I was at Wal-Mart South Keys today and saw sunblock at 110 spf.

As best I can figure this means I, a very White person of Celtic stock, can, after applying this, stay out in the sun for about 35 straight hours.

When I move to the northern tip of Greenland I will be shure to pack some.


4870...The Glorious 12th

'tis today, the anniversary of William of Orange winning the Battle of the Boyne.  

It was back in 1690, the year after the Toronto Maple Leafs won their last Stanley Cup, when King Billy beat the Catholic King James to ensure the Protestant ascendancy in Ireland.

Some are still fighting that battle today.

Happily, at least according to what I read in The Belfast Telegraph this very minute, the 12th has finally morphed into a true public holiday.  "Andrew Irvine, Belfast city centre manager, said: 'In terms of visitors, the Twelfth of July is the largest annual event we have. Belfast city centre has something to offer everyone this Twelfth.'”  250,000 visitors.


4869...Most Famous Canadian

Five years ago it was Pam Anderson.

Right now it is Justin Bieber.

Five years from now it will be Andrew Wiggins.


Wednesday, July 11, 2012

4868...Prime Minister Harper Loves A Communist

Yes he does.

And it has Charles Adler's panties all moist.

Conservative Government pumping 2.5 million into honoring one of Mao's most famous apologists, Norman Bethune. Check out this link and feel free to post thoughts.

Love those Commie loving Conservatives.


4867...Worst Cities To Drive In Are Canadian!!!

And Montreal is not even in the top ten!

The people at Tom Tom, a GPS company, say that their data shows that L.A., C.A. is the worst city to drive in in Canada and The States.  Vancouver, the only big city without a big freeway, comes in second.  Tronna is ninth and little old Ottawa is tenth.

A lot of road rage potential there and I certainly hope that road rage doesn't reach the level it did in Philly.

NBC10 reports

Police arrested a driver who they say pulled out a crossbow in a fit of road rage on a Northeast Philadelphia street.
It happened on the 4000 block of Knorr Street. Police say 45-year-old Kenneth Butterworth of Friendship, cut off a 47-year-old man while the two were driving. The elder man then cut off Butterworth and beeped his horn in retaliation, according to investigators. Butterworth then allegedly pulled out a crossbow and pointed it at the other driver. The 47-year-old called 911 and Butterworth was arrested.
Butterworth never fired the bow and no one was injured, according to investigators. He is charged with assault for pointing a deadly weapon, according to police.
We have had enough crossbow violence in Ottawa to last us one hundred lifetimes.


4866...Best Mom Ever

Is unnamed and way dead and in Defiance, Ohio.

QMI reports that it isn't what she did but what she didn't do.  She didn't throw out the baseball cards while cleaning.  Her heirs found a box of baseball cards dating back to 1908 that should fetch in the area of three million dollars.

Beaucoup d'argent.


4865...Coke Or Pepsi?

Ronaldinho, the big soccer star, is the face of Coke in Brazil  
Whoopsie, he was the face of Coke in Brazil.
In the last month, Ronaldinho left Brasileiro's Flamengo FC, "the team with the largest fan base" in Brazil, sued the club for R$40M ($19.7M), and appeared at an introductory news conference with his new club Atletico Mineiro "surrounded by Pepsi cans." In a statement, Coca-Cola Brasil cited "recent events" as the reason for the break-up. With the decision, Ronaldinho will not receive any additional money from the company nor will the drink manufacturer have to pay a fine. Institution ESPM Marketing Dir Marcelo Pontes said, "The fact that the player appeared with a Pepsi can was the last drop for Coca-Cola, but it probably was not the only motive for the decision."

Things go better with cash Ronaldinho.  


4864...Stephen Harper Loves His Hometown

It were in yesterday's Calgary Sun.

Our beloved Prime Minister announced that his hometown is the "...greatest city in the greatest country in the world."

The best reaction was from the mayor of Vancouver, Gregor Robertson, who said he thought the PM had mixed his cities up.


Tuesday, July 10, 2012

4863...Someone Get Jane Fonda A Moped

She is all over today's Sun, the one from the UK, that cleverly shows the Ottawa temp btw, talking about how at 74 her sex life is better than ever.

You can stop this kind of drivel by getting Hanoi Jane a moped.

Send your money to me, in care of here.  That's me, in care of here.

We will get her a fast one.


4862...Racism In Gatineau Victimizes 9 Yr Old Girl

The Ottawa Citizen reports this morning that a poor little Gatineau girl had to miss her team's championship soccer game coz the adults running the tournament told her to take off her hijab, a head scarf, for, get this, safety reasons.

Ah, yes, scarf injuries.

"The order came just days after the International Football Association Board voted to lift its ban based on the fact that 'there is no medical literature concerning injuries as a result of wearing a headscarf,' the organization stated on its website."

Marc St. Amour, the apparent grand puba of 9 year old girl soccer in Gatineau, says they have to wait until FIFA comes out with an official head scarf.  

How small do you think this man's penis is?  Seriously.  Stopping a little girl from playing soccer.  You are such a stronzo.


4861...Dean Del Mastro Update

Still an MP.


So sad.


4860...New Coke Fail

Coca Cola raised the white flag on this day in 1985 by re introducing old Coke as Coca Cola Classic.


4859...Electoral Reform Is

In the words of Penn and Teller:  Bullsh*t.

It is easy, of course we won't do it coz the Americans do it and we aren't doing anything they do no matter how intelligent it is but.............................................................................................................

Take the population of the country, divide it by how many seats you want to have in the House of Commons and voila.  Of course Prince Edward Island gets reduced to one seat; so sad, too bad.  Get more people you get more seats.

Every vote would then be equal.

Too simple and too smart.


4858...The Only True All Star Game Is Tonight

The winner, American or National League, gets home game advantage in the World Series.

First pitch should be around 8 ish.

Go team, go.


Monday, July 9, 2012

4857...Happy Birthday South Sudan

It is South Sudan's first birthday.

The country that emerged from a civil war with Sudan is not out of the proverbial woods yet.  The Associated Press reported that at the celebrations in the capital Juba "President Salva Kiir addressed the country's number one threat: a return to war with Sudan, the country the south battled for more than two decades." 

There are also internal struggles, high inflation and the same struggles that the new nation faced when it was rebelling against Sudan.


4856...Cash For Life For Vic Toews

And he will be able to live in his hometown to boot.

Plus send people to prison and generally f'up their lives.

The Winnipeg Free Press reports that "Sources say Toews is in line for the Court of Appeal opening, but it's an appointment that does not have to be made immediately."

He pushed through the building of prisons.  Now, dream come true, he will get to fill them.


4855...Sixty Five Candles For O. J. Simpson Today

The modern day Fatty Arbuckle, found innocent by a California court but found guilty by the court of public opinion, O. J. Simpson turns 65 today.

He was one of the top NFL players ever; minimum top ten, perhaps top one.

As I write this Mr. Simpson sits in jail out west on an armed robbery conviction.  I guess he is hoping for a hacksaw in his birthday cake, eh?



This, the Ottawa Police say, is a number used by enterprising crooks to scare you out of your money in the Nation's Capital.

Tony Spears had the story in Sunday's Ottawa Sun.  The number, which is spoofed, comes up on your call display.  The caller tells you that you owe a chunk of coin to the Ottawa 50 and if you don't pay now, as in right now, they will send a paddy wagon to your house and then it is off to jail.

Totally bogus.  If this happens to you in Ottawa or elsewhere get ahold of the Canadian Anti-Fraud Centre info@antifraudcentre.ca.


Sunday, July 8, 2012

4853...This Is Why You Have A Fast Car

To go fast.  Very fast.

CBC Ottawa reports that "An Ottawa man has been charged with stunt driving and failing to stop for police after police clocked him on Highway 417 driving at a speed of 211 kilometres per hour."

The coppers tell how old the dude is, 35, but hold back his name which, frankly, would piss me off if I was the 35 year old alleged culprit.  I gotta figure that 211 kph is worth a lot of free drinks at the bar.


4852...PETA And Bob Barker Not Stampede Fans

From the PETA Files, the official blog of PETA, People For The Ethical Treatment Of Animals, comes this timely piece "...Bob Barker has sent urgent letters to the major sponsors of the cruel Calgary Stampede encouraging them to take PETA's advice and end their support of the deadly event."

So now you know.

You may respond in any which way but loose.


4851...Stephen Harper Goes Home

To the Calgary Stampede which, I presume, is in his riding of Calgary Something Or Other.

Good news is to be had for all Canuckistanians from our beloved leader.  

The Globe And Mail reports that "Mr. Harper told about 900 party supporters in Calgary on Saturday night that this country remains one of the world’s 'rare exceptions' with a solid economy and on track to a balanced budget despite a now four-year-old global financial crisis that has crushed other nations."

Now that takes care of that.


Saturday, July 7, 2012

4850...Ontario Leads The Way

July 9 1793: An Act Against Slavery law passed in the 1st legislative session of Upper Canada, what is now Ontario. It was the 1st anti-slavery legislation in the British Empire.

4849...El Roundo Is Going To Meet W Elex Canada


The Globe and Mail reports that the Parliamentary Secretary to our beloved Prime Minister Stephen Harper, Dean Del Mastro, is going to meet with Elections Canada.  You may be aware that "...recent court documents detail alleged breaches of the Elections Act and an agency investigator says Mr. Del Mastro paid the Ottawa-based Holinshed Research Group $21,000 for calls to voters that wasn’t declared in the MP’s 2008 campaign finance return."

The prediction here is that Mr. Del Mastro will fall on his sword and be awarded with the ambassador ship to Mongolia, the land of the all you can eat buffet.


Friday, July 6, 2012

4848...Bill O'Reilly's Quote Of The Day

 "I may be an idiot..." 

4847...Obama Beating Romney By A Mile

In the Twitter race.

@mentionmachine in The Washington Post has Mitt Romney being mentioned in the Twitterverse 167,633 times; da Prez got 212,915 mentions last week.


4846...Rush Limbaugh's Thought Of The Day

Firefighters are nice to have but, they take away from private sector jobs and contribute nothing to the economy.


4845...Victoria Azarenka Fashion Faux Pas

It is widely reported that yesterday one Victoria Azarenka, the number two woman in the world, made a fashion faux pas at the All England Club.

She wore yellow in her practice before facing Venus Williams.

That lasted about a minute.  You are allowed to wear any colour at Wimbelton as long as it is white.

It was the start of a bad day for Ms. Ararenka as Ms. Williams beat her 6/3, 7/6 to advance to the final Saturday against Agnieszka Radwanski


4844...One In Five Relationships Start On Line

That is what Match Canada says.

I always take boasts and bullsh*t and divide it by half but still, one in ten, pretty impressive.

Works for moi.


4843...Has Anyone Seen Three Million Bees?

CBC up there in Northern Alberta tells all that somebody thiefed 150 bee hives from Bill Termeer's place in Grande Prairie.

The point of course is iffen you are in GP and someone comes up to you and tries to sell you a few million bees let Mr. Termeer in on it.

We can split the reward money, k?


Thursday, July 5, 2012

4842...Mayor Ford Names Hardest Worker In T Dot

In a one man poll, reported on by the CBC, Mayor Rob Ford of Toronto tells the world that he "works harder than any person" in the Big Smoke.

Now you know.


4841...Student Strike Back In Montreal

Just not yet.

It is summer.

Everyone needs a vay kay.

The Montreal Gazette reports that Martine Desjardins confirmed Wednesday [that the strike]...will resume on Aug. 17 when courses are set to begin again at 14 CÉGEPs."  She is the President of the FSEQ.

I am fan of what the students are doing.  Actually what they were doing.  But this movie is over Madame President.  Didn't anyone read Sun Tzu?  Sieges don't work.  You needed an exit strategy.  



4840...Stephen Harper Attacks Culture Again!!!

This time the un Progressive Conservative's sword is eviscerating the ballet.

It says so right here in my National Post:  "The federal government is no longer allowing employers linked to the sex trade to hire strippers, escorts and massage parlour workers from outside the country."

Jason Kenney, The MInister of Foreigners says that "...this should have been done a long time ago..."   He also said that the law, which will keep women from f'd up 3rd world countries out of Our Home And Native Land, is there to protect those women coz, I guess, they are better off in abject poverty than taking the job of a young Quebecoise.