Saturday, February 28, 2009

15...Laura Sparling Loves Virgin Radio

Sanctimonious people rock.

They truly do.

Take Carleton University graduate student Laura Sparling.

Ms. Sparling made a big noise in the Citizen, Sun etcetera here in Ottawa earlier this month when she positively plotzed over the audacity of Virgin Radio, the erstwhile 106.9 The Bear, having bus poster ads that featured pregnant young women and the caption: "Lock up your daughters; the God of Rock are now in Ottawa."

Offended she was; she was sooooooooo angry that she did what all upset politically correct people do. She wrote a chastizing letter to the editor, tried to get people to stop advertising and listening to 106.9 and started a petition:

I get a feeling that may be, just may be, Ms. Sparling was a plant, a Virgin plant because all she really did was generated tons of buzz for Virgin Radio.

The opening stanza of her petition, as of 18 30 on February 28, 2009, triumphs:

The demands to this petition were met February 18th. This petition will be removed February 26th. Feel free to record your comments before then. Thanks for all the support.

The only flaw in this is, as of 18 30 on February 28, 2009, the advertising posters that Laura Sparling successfully had taken down are not down.


Ms. Laura Sparling. Sanctimonious, politically correct and, apparently, easily fooled.


Note to Anonymous:

Appreciate the comment. Thanks for telling me about Mr. Aiken's work in primary education.

Clay Aiken, record contract or not, truly is truly a pillar of the global community

Total props.


Friday, February 27, 2009

14...Clay Aiken, Gay; Lindsay Lohan, Not Gay

I had a severe bout of triskadekaphobia which is why I had to take a break after blog 13.

Some interesting schtuff going down the pipe these days including some shocking news from tinsel town, or a variation thereof, that being that Clay Aiken was fired/quit his record label because you/me/we the buying public have decided not to buy his records. OMG, stop the friggin' presses.

In other earth shattering news from the world of the world, it turns out that Clay Aiken is gay, not the happy kind or the stupid kind but the homosexual kind. Although I hope he is happy and, who knows, he may not be that bright either.

Clay Aiken: Gay.

Lindsay Lohan: Not Gay.

That is according to her dad, Michael Lohan, who says her relationship with DJ Samantha Ronson is a sham. Clamouring for the spotlight, the former stock broker, prison and professional dad has also implored his daughter to eat more and work more and then I stopped reading because I got bored. Like you are now.

Still, the fact that Lindsay is or is not a lesbian is irrelevant; what is relevant is her and her family make those of us who are Irish Catholic proud. Dysfunction is what we do and they do it better than most.



Tuesday, February 17, 2009

13...March Madness

FergetaboutObama, Ottawa, March Madness, which ends the first weekend of April, has started in Ottawa.

Tomorrow on the wireless,, I will be talking with one of my favourite people, the winningest coach in Carleton Women's Basketball history, Taffe Charles. Coach Charles will be on with me from 6 10 am til about 6 25 am. His squad has a big game, huge game, win or go home game in the Raven's Nest/Alumni Hall Wednesday night at 7 pm versus the Queen's Golden Gaels [Gaelettes? Lady Gaels?]. Win or go home. Coach has led the team to their best season evah evah evah and is only a couple of wins away from Nationals in Regina.

High school basketball is heating up too; go to for more deets.

I was at a game earlier today at Glebe and saw the Gryphons beat the St. Pat's Fighting Irish by about ten. The game was so much closer but the Pat's coaching staff had a freak out wah wah baby moment with about 3 and change left in the game, the game at two. What happened was a foul was called on the Irish, coulda went either way, and the Pat's staff melted down, technical, technical, technical. Buddy from Glebe hit 5 of 6 and they also scored on the possession and, baby, that was all she wrote.

March is Mad!!! And it won't and don't tie up traffic.


Sunday, February 15, 2009

12...Racial Profiling

A quick note.

I got racially profiled last night at MacLaren's, a poolhall/bar on Elgin Street in Ottawa.

I was, and this is relevant, on my way back from the U of Ottawa/Queen's basketball game, wearing a Syracuse hoodie, a 'cuse hat, watching Nate Robinson win the NBA All Star game dunk contest when it happened.

I was talking to this East African man, I will call him Jamal [because that is what his name is] about the dunks, the green uni Mr. Robinson was wearing, whether the Raptors will ever go deep in the playoffs, trying to sell him on going to see U of Ottawa play Carleton next Saturday at the U of Ottawa and on and on and on while watching the dunk competition. Not a lick of ice in my field of vision.

And then it happened.

He asked me, no, he told me, told me, right out of the blue that he didn't understand or care much for hockey but I obviously was a big hockey fan ['cause I am a middle aged White guy] and that was the end of that.

The knife cuts both ways.

Pretty Darn Strange, eh?


Tuesday, February 10, 2009

11...Radio, Radio, Radio

Tomorrow, on the Ottawa's number 27 morning show, CKCU's Special Blend, I, the World Famous Dan Shields, will be talking with Yolanda Saito, a community activist from the centre of Ottawa who is adamant that SCAN, Safer Communities and Neighbourhoods, a law that is being triumphed by Ottawa Centre MPP Yasir Naqvi is bad, bad, bad. Last week, you, my fan, may recall that I spoke to my friend Yasir about this law for about twenty minutes; I offered him a platform this week but he is taking a well deserved vacation.

In addition there will be, at 6 20 am, my Valentine's Day Address To The Nation plus tic will join me, possibly, to explain to me how he is spending Valentine's Day [I am pretty certain that a man like tic, who claims he is more evolved than I, will not be doing anything on such a Hallmark Holiday, nonetheless, he has a girlfriend and if he knows what is good for him...] and I certainly hope he will give me an update on his fat new ride and any additional torments his unnamed dealer has foisted upon our hero.

Dat's about it, do join me tomorrow morning, and, re le blog, y'all come back now, y'hear?


Monday, February 9, 2009

11...February 11, 2009

OMG, my heart nearly stopped the other day when the world started spinning backwards.

Number 13, A-Rod, Alex Rodriquez, infielder for the New York Yankees, the finest baseball player of his generation, has admitted to using steriods.

They news flashed this on, well, all the stations and web sites that have news flashes.

What next?

Strippers with breast implants?

Really, where is the news story there?

[Not in the stripper thing; that is a story I am personally in the midst of researching, important work.]

Let us be realistic, if they, whomever they are, started real testing for steroids in college and professional sports the dymamic of the game would change.

And that ain't good for TV and TV is the tail that is totally wagging the dog.

By the way, I like the dog.


10...February 9, 2009...

This is the most depressing day of the year.

Yesterday was the ProBowl, the NFL all star game.

When it ended, football ended for 2008-09.

Give me a moment.


Thursday, February 5, 2009

9...February 5, 2009

Geez, it's cold out but I saw a couple of signs of spring yesterday.

First off, the bikes are back on display at Canadian Tire.

I love that store. I bought a charger for my car, the super deluxe self contained booster cables with a radio, flashlight and on and on and on. List price: 169.99 but with the coupon, the Optimum MasterCard, Canadian Tire money it ended up costing me less than five dollars out of pocket. Brilliant.

Second sign of spring is the sauna at the Y was full of heavily tanned rainbow warriors who had to cut their southern soujourns short coz of a cash crunch.

No matter what that f@%$#@g groundhog says, spring will come, and soon.


Wednesday, February 4, 2009

8...February 4, 2009

God, I know it is unfashionable to say good things about politicians and even more unfashionable to say good things about American pols but, boy oh boy, I am watching MSNBC's Hardball With Chris Matthews and the Republicans truly are giving President Obama support. Governor Charlie Crist of Florida, who campaigned like a madman for Senator McCain last year, just told Mr. Matthews that, and I am paraphrasing "...Obama is my President, our President, and I wish him nothing but the best and support...". He is not the only one on Team Elephant wishing and working for the new President; the honeymoon period is no joke in the United States.

Of course, Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter haven't come onside and, frankly, it ain't gonna happen. In fact Miss Ann, who's hottness is inverse to her intellect, refers to the new leader of the free world as B. Hussein Obama.

Closer to home, many of the stars of the Ottawa political scene were at a multi party fundraiser/cocktail party last night in the West Block, Parliament Hill. The fundraiser was for the Ottawa Food Bank and raised thousands of dollars, my source told me over ten k, dollars that the Ottawa Food Bank can quintuple through their purchasing power. Plus the beer was two bucks.


Later this morning, live from the campus of Canada's 46th best university I will be talking to Yasir Naqvi, MPP for Ottawa Centre [and, personal friend of mine] about SCAN, [Safer Communities and Neighbourhoods] an iniative that I don't quite understand. Marcus McCann, in Capital Xtra's November 19, 2008 issue summed up SCAN in this manner:
A bill to give the province the power to evict sex workers and drug users from their homes passed second reading Oct 31. Critics say it lowers the burden of proof for eviction, circumvents criminal law and could leave landlords on the hook for tenants' bad behaviour. The sweeping bill allows people to make anonymous complaints about their neighbours to a quasi-judicial body, who has the power to forbid people from returning to their houses.
Theoretically I will have someone from the other side, perhaps Yolanda Saito, in studio to argue the issue with Yasir, live, coming out of your clock radio, 93.1CKCU.


Monday, February 2, 2009

7...February 2, 2009

Tommorrow morning wake up early to me, the World Famous Dan Shields on 93.1CKCU, 6 a.m. as we celebrate the end of the bus strike; my understanding is the busses will be running in full no later than mid September 2014.

Everyone has two things in life and one of them is an opinion about the strike. Even Adolph Hitler had a view on the strike:

In addition to expressing my joy over the City of Ottawa finally coming to their senses and treating the bus drivers and support staff with proper respect I will also be talking to Crazy Tyrone about whatever and Edy about meme chose.

Finally, and this is tres kewl, I will have a few minutes with Caroline Kyall from the Ottawa Foodbank about their tremendous efforts to ensure you have a food safety net in these turbulent times. I will also offer you information about a fundraiser, only 25 bones btw, Tuesday night on Parliament Hill that you want to go to.