Friday, December 31, 2010

3251...The Last Cub Fan Dies

Not literally; the last Cub fan to see them win a World Series, which they did in '08. 1908.

The Chicago Tribune tells us that her name is Ms. Evelyn Margaret Ralston and she was born in 1899, meaning she lived in three centuries.

With Chicago being what it is Ms. Ralston may be dead but she is still a Democrat and will be expected to support The Machine and President Obama in November of '12. 2012.


3250...Car B Ques

Just another reason to love France.

It is reported widely in France that the country will deploy extra police and keep vandalism statistics under wraps on New Year's Eve to fight what authorities say has become an annual sweepstakes of disaffected youths competing to see who can burn the most cars.

Hey, beats eating snails.

Youths in depressed suburbs of French cities have been torching hundreds of vehicles on New Year's Eve and Bastille Day since the early 1990s. Police say the annual rite has turned competitive, with youths tracking the news in the first days of the new year to see which neighborhood did the most damage.

Wait til ESPN finds out about this.

Interior Minister Brice Hortefeux said "I have decided to put an end to the competition, the sweepstakes, and will longer publish the number of burned vehicles."

Last year, the Interior Ministry said 1,137 cars had been torched, a 30 percent rise on 2008. French media reported at the time that several thousand cars had been burned.

Car B Ques.


3249...EBay Rocks

So does MilliBid, a Brit knock off of EBay.

The Brit papers are all over Danielle Sheehan, 20, who won a 5,000 pound breast augmentation, moving her from C to E, on the popular auction website, for just £3.90.

She soooooo wants to become [and has been] a model for what the British call lad's magazines and the step up in size gives her a big, pun intended, edge.

For the same price as a pint of lager. No bad, eh?


3248...What Will They Pick Up Dog Pooh With?

They have banned plastic bags in Italy. From now on BBC reports that only biodegradable, cloth or paper bags will be offered to shoppers.

Supporters of the ban say plastic bags are an environmental hazard which use too much oil to produce and can take decades to break down.

Of course in twenty years the same group will say that the paper bags use too many trees blah blah blah.


3247...Good News/Bad News

Syracuse Orange won a bowl.

Good news.

So did the Fighting Irish of Notre Dame.

Bad news.


3246...The City That Never Sleeps

Apparently that is your capital, Ottawa.

I know.

But that is what my new go-to radio station, 1310News, says in its promos.


3245...There Is Great TV

And then there is Daytime on Rogers22 in Ottawa.

What a piece of sh*t.

If you are high and want to enjoy yourself check out their year end music special.

It features the very best in live music presented on Daytime during '10.

The best.

Funny that.

Most of the musicians sound like they are playing their instruments wearing gloves.

Hockey gloves.


Thursday, December 30, 2010

3244...A Statement About Healthcare From BC

An unnamed Kelowna man was pissed after waiting 45 minutes for care at Kelowna General Hospital Tuesday night so he got in to his SUV and rammed it into the hospital.

The RCMP arrested our hero.

Wait, 45 minutes? He was O N L Y going to have to wait 45 minutes? Uh, dude, that is like the express lane in these here parts.


3243...Canada Number One ! ! !

The comScore, a company that specializes in measuring digital activity, reports that seventy-one per cent of us visit YouTube every month and spend almost five hours a month on YouTube.

Not sure, Ian Morrison, but I think it is because Canadian TV sucks the pipe.



Wednesday, December 29, 2010

3242...PETA Gets Press

My fave Canuck is Pamela Anderson is all over all the papers via Agence France-Presse coz of an ad that is and is not running in airports across our world.

The advertisement, titled Cruelty Doesn't Fly, has been banned in Hong Kong and New York City and Boston.

The ad also has Steve-O from Jackass and ancient German punkess Nina Hagen.

Ms. Anderson, who looks great for an 84 year old woman, stars as an airport security guard who strips passengers of leather, fur and other skins.


3241...There Goes The Vacation

Honey, unpack the bags, we ain't going no where this winter. Scribbling by the Canadian Press indicates that it is going to cost beaucoup to go to the UAE on our vacation so we staying home in front of the Electrohome.

Canada's diplomatic dispute with the United Arab Emirates will cost travellers to the Gulf state as much as $1,000 in new visa requirements.

The new fees, which kick in this weekend with the arrival of the new year, were announced in the fall at the height of a dispute between Canada and the UAE.

A 30-day, non-renewable visa will cost $250, a three-month visa $500, and a six-month multiple entry will be $1,000.

This really is serious stuff and another f*ck up by the Stephen Harpers. There are 25,000 Canucks living in the UAE who will be hit with the fees, that is 25 mill. Plus 300 mill to move from Camp Mirage.

Oy and f*cking vey.



Tuesday, December 28, 2010

3240...They Call Them The Dippers For A Reason

They are, of course, the New Democratic Party of Canada.

And they are called The Dips coz they always do well in the polls in between elections but when the money is on the line The Dips dip.

In Tuesday's Globe and Mail Laurence Martin, who is very tall, wrote a yawner about the Mulcair Effect. Mulcair is, of course, Thomas Mulcair, the lad that lucked out in a bye bye Stephane Dion election in the Liberal stronghold of Outremont.

Mr. Martin, who may have been sniffing glue when he wrote the piece, says that "The party has expectations of winning the riding of Gatineau, where their candidate, Fran├žoise Boivin, a former Liberal MP, lost narrowly last time out. The Dippers have a good shot in Hull and in a few Liberal-held ridings in Montreal, where they’ve lined up some high-profile candidates they’ll be announcing when the right moment arises."

I have been to Hull and Gat Mr. Martin, lots, like today, on the Plateau and it ain't gonna happen.

Tell you what Mr. Martin, if Ms. Boivin wins Gatineau or anyone else wins Hull, I will wash your car every Wednesday for a year.


3239...Michael Vick Got Me A Dog

For real.

I took the money I won using the name Michael Vick in the 2009 Local Heroes football pool and transformed it into Mara Carfagna, the Labrador puppy dog not the Italian politician.

So I like Mike.

So does President Obama.

Peter King of Sports Illustrated the president called the owner of the Philadelphia Eagles to praise him for taking a risk on felon Michael Vick, saying "too many prisoners never get a fair second chance."

True dat.

This of course has the self righteous pissants at PETA up in arms.

When Lisa Lange, vice president of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, found out that, horrors, Mr. Vick would like to have a dog some day, soon, she flipped out. According to the Atlanta Journal-Constitution Miss Holier Than Though Lange said that "Just as convicted pedophiles aren't allowed free access to children, anyone who is responsible for hanging, electrocuting, or shooting dogs and who causes them to suffer in other unimaginable ways should never again be allowed access to dogs. All things considered, it is a very small price to pay, especially compared to the suffering endured by the dogs who were abused and killed in the Bad Newz Kennels."

Blow me.


3238...You Would Never Catch An RC Priest Doing


This being breaking into a house on Christmas Eve.

The Dallas Morning News reports North Texas coppers have charged the Reverend Sandy McGriff, 52, of purloining over $10,000 worth of swag from her friend and congregant Serita Agnew.

Rev. McGriff says she was trying to protect Agnew's valuables from other intruders. She claims she was in the neighborhood to pick up a peach cobbler from a friend and had the urge to drive past Ms.Agnew's home. "Something just told me to go past her house," the Rev. told reporters on Monday. According to the woman of the Cloth, she pulled up in her black Jaguar, only to spy two men exiting Ms. Agnew's residence.

Spotting a broken window, the Rev. says she decided to protect Agnew's laptop, purses, and coats by climbing in the window and carrying them from the house. "I thought I was helping," said Rev. McGriff.

According to a neighbour, not quite.

The neighbor says he called police after he saw Rev. McGriff smash the window and clamber inside. The servant of Our Lord was arrested and spent Christmas Day in the clink, although she posted bail in time to preach on Sunday at the Church of the Living God. Ms. Agnew says she hasn't spoken to Rev. McGriff since the incident. "I'm hurt. I'm devastated," she said. "My neighbor saw her break into my house. What is there to explain?"

Our guys don't break into houses. At least not on Christmas Eve.


3237...Brett Farve - Penis - Pictures

Those three [four actually] mots tend to bring 'em in.

Let's see if it works this time.

BTW, Brett Farve, the man who won't say won't, and his penis, are apparently starting tonight in Philly against SPCA man of the year and the NFL's most valuable player, Michael Vick.


3236...Christmas, Chanukuh And December

Seem to have killed my blog.


So the header of the next post will bring it back.


Wednesday, December 22, 2010

3235...The Good Old Days Of Segregation

"I just don't remember [segregation] as being that bad," says Governor Haley Barbour of Mississippi.

By the way it wasn't that bad for Mr. Barbour coz he grew up White and wealthy in 1960s Mississippi not Black and of any income level.

Oh, and he wants to be President. Of the United States.

Asked about coming of age in Yazoo City, Miss., during the civil rights "revolution," in Bill Kristol's Weekly Standard Magazine, Governor Barbour, who was 16 when three civil rights workers were murdered in the state in the summer of 1964, an event that was fictionalized into the film Mississippi Burning, tells Andrew Ferguson, "I just don't remember it as being that bad." He goes on to talk of standing "at the periphery" when Martin Luther King Jr. spoke in his hometown (but not really paying attention to what was said because he was too busy looking at girls) and to salute the Citizens Council for (supposedly) ensuring the peaceful integration of Yazoo City's schools -- something that was achieved 15 years after Brown v. Board of Education.


The wanna be POTUS also lauds the Citizen's Councils for helping integrate the South.

Uh, no.

FYI the Citizen's Councils, also known as The White Citizen's Councils, were the Klan with education, networking skills and restraint. Think of them as BIA's.

This guy is insane in the membrane.



As the song says, "Memories can be beautiful but yet..."

"Never Forget" is the catch phrase associated with the largest pogrom in history and Israel's Holocaust memorial says it has now identified 4 million of the 6 million Jews who were killed by Nazis in the Holocaust of World War II.

Take pause to let those numbers sink in.

4 million named; 2 million not.

The Associated Press says that "The task is especially difficult because entire families were wiped out and documents were destroyed during the Nazi genocide."


3233...What I Like About You Stephen Harper

Is in yesterday's Ottawa Citizen, right up front, page A2.

Prime Minister Stephen Harper threw more cold water on the idea that the federal government could help build an arena so that Quebec City could win an NHL franchise. "There's no federal program to fund professional sports facilities," he told French-TV network TVA hosts Paul Larocque and Jean Lapierre from the prime minister's cottage at Harrington Lake in an interview recorded Dec. 17. "Not now, not in previous decades. Pro sports are first and foremost the responsibility of the private sector, and I am encouraging the private sector to come up with a solution. "If Ottawa did something like that, we'd have to do it across the country, and the list is long. Hamilton, Regina, Edmonton, even my hometown of Calgary, everyone wants a new facility."

Mr. Prime Minister must be following my advice and reading


3232...Senator For A Day

Larry Smith has announced that the Upper House is all fine and dandy but he wants to sit in the House of Commons.

CBC TV [and everyone else] reports that Mr. Smith will run for the Conservatives in Montreal West Island riding of Lac- Saint-Louis. This riding is presently held by Francis Scarpaleggia. Mr. Smith is going to sit in the Senate for now, but by law will have to step down to run for the House of Commons. That's what Quebec Conservative Michael Fortier did in the 2008 federal election. His bid was unsuccessful.

Interestingly the last Tory to represent the riding was Bob Layton, the father of NDP leader Jack Layton.


Monday, December 20, 2010

3231...Don't Drop The Soap reports that

A special Defense Department working group appointed by Defense Secretary Robert Gates has recommended that the military should “expressly prohibit” heterosexuals from using separate showers, bathrooms and bunking facilities from homosexuals when the repeal of the law banning homosexuals from the military goes into effect. "Though many regard the very discussion of this topic as offensive, given the number of Service members who raised it, we are obliged to address it,” the report said.

so there is the problem, like, no.

In a world that there is so much going on and so much to worry about this is such a non issue.


3230...This Is Some Serious Bullsh*t

Twas in Saturday's National Post and it is the story of the Central Ontario hockey coach who had the courage of his convictions and is paying for such.

On Nov. 15, as first reported by the Toronto Star, Walsh's NAPA Auto Parts team was playing a team sponsored by Austin Trophies. Two kids went to the penalty box after a skirmish--one of them, from Austin Trophies, called the other, Andrew McCallum, what is euphemistically referred to as the N-word. Two game off-ice officials heard him. The Austin Trophies coach benched the kid for a period, then brought him back. An apology was asked for. It was not given.

So Walsh pulled his team off the ice. They were leading but willing to forfeit to protest what they rightly considered an unacceptable act.

So the OMHA suspended the kid for three games. Walsh was suspended under the auspices of Hockey Canada's rule 10.14, Refusing to Start Play.

The coach who reacted to the improper language is out for the year; the other, along with the kid from the KKK, is okay.

What a country.


3229...Election Time

It is coming kids.

Stephen Harper has to pull the plug soon; sometime in '11 I would presume and that means we, the Liberals, have to make a decision. That choice is whether we want to do as the Greens and the Dippers do, be right or whether we want to do what we usta do, back in the day, i.e. when we were in power, and that is to win.

It is all well and fine to be the toast of the chattering classes in our pressed blue jeans and our three hundred dollar plaid shirts but four more years of Stephen Harper could pretty much kill Our Home And Native Land.


Friday, December 17, 2010

3228...Brilliant BTW

The Next One getting himself all over the front pages, the radio, TV and social media.

PETA = too easy to manipulate.

Take that Pamela Anderson!


3227...Fur Flys Over Xmas Card

PETA has their collective panties in a knot over Justin Trudeau's Christmas card.

The card features The Next One with family wearing Canada Goose parkas which are, horror of horrors, trimmed with coyote fur.

The coyote fur pissed off PETA; the fact that the coats are stuffed with goose down did na piss off PETA.

I guess the People For The Ethical Treatment Of Animals play favourutes.


Thursday, December 16, 2010

3226...Former Hitler Youth Member Speaks Out

The Associated Press reports that chirping from Vatican City "Pope Benedict XVI said Thursday that Christians suffer more religious persecution than any other group, denouncing lack of freedom of worship as an 'intolerable' threat to world security."

That Holocaust was kind of messy too, no? But that was then; this is now.

Anyhow he's all miffed and good on him.


3225...The Man Through A Ball Over 107 MPH

His name was Bob Feller, he pitched 18 years with the Cleveland Indians in the '30s, '40s and '50s.

If it wasn't for Adolf Hitler, who stole four years from his Hall of Fame career, he may have won 350 games.

Still, not a shabby career for the Heater From Van Meter.

It has been reported widely that Mr. Feller died yesterday at the age of 92.



3224...Dya Think They Will Name Him Stephen?

The Honourable Helena Guergis gave birth to a baby boy Wednesday morning at 3 15.

As it turns out they are not naming the baby Stephen Harper Jaffer.

Instead they are going for Zavier Rahim Nizarali Jaffer.


3223...Final Note On Joe Pao


Is it not true, family and friends of Mr. P*2, that after facillitating the death penalty at Waterloo he still be unemployed?

Perhaps it is because he sucks?


Wednesday, December 15, 2010

3223...Wisconsin Delievers The Mail

In the nude.

The Milwaukee Journal Sentinel reports that a fifty two year old postman delievered the mail in the nude to a twenty one year old woman in that city on December 4 of this year.

Hello. December. In Milwaukee. No clothes. You nuts.


3222...A Fan Writes

2492...Joe Paopao Kills Another Football Team, a post made almost half a year ago, has resulted in yet another response from my old friend Anonymous.

This time 'tis this:

Anonymous said...
Learn to research properly you scum. This article is clearly invalid, as the core statistics are not even right. Can't fail any harder than that. You're a fucking joke.

December 14, 2010 4:58 PM

What I said was that Joe Paopao was the worst coach in the history of football. He has been part of four teams that have died with him on the payroll, the Ottawa Rough Riders, the Ottawa Renegades, the San Francisco Demons and the University of Waterloo. And he was on the sidelines as one league, the XFL, croaked.

He also never won a Grey Cup as a player or head coach, in an eight/nine team league, in beaucoup de years of trying.

I did miss the fact that he won once, as an assistant with BC, in 2000 I believe it was.

Plus, unlike his fans, I have the fortitude to sign my name.


3221...Question Is: Will They Be Spayed?

Or neutered?

Those were the ending words of Bob Eubanks on The Price Is Right and those bon mots continue with his successor Drew Carey.

Next Monday the two greatest hockey players on the planet, Sidney Crosby and Alexander Ovechkin will appear on the show with ex NHLer and ex Gatineau Olympique Jeremy Roenick to introduce hockey themed showcases.


Monday, December 13, 2010

3220...A General Falls

For people of a certain age in your capital the name Ken "The General" Grant means something/a lot.

Back in the day he owned Ottawa. In fact he was the most dominant morning man in Ottawa
and, arguably, in North America.

Now he is hosting video bingo on the Rogers Community Channel.

Time to go, bro.


3219...Brett Favre Penis Update

For the first time in 293 games, that's like for frigging ever, Number 4 will not be starting tonight in Detroit against the New York Giants.

End of an era.

Now he can concentrate on his first love: personal photography.


3218...America: What A Country

The American Dream.

The Speaker-elect of the House of Representatives, the most powerful Republican in the US of A, John Boehner, cried his way through his 60 Minutes interview yesterday, with most of the tears set off by the mere mention of The American Dream.

Apparently The American Dream does not include comprehensive health care.

A breaking story from the New York Times by Kevin Sack is headlined:

Health Care Law Ruled Unconstitutional

"The judge said Congress went too far by requiring most Americans to obtain insurance, a key provision of the health care overhaul that passed muster in two prior court challenges."

Of course you don't want everyone to have insurance; many people never get sick so it is unfair...oy vey, what a pile of bullsh*t.

Of course they do have better TV than Canuckistan.


3217...Note To Mister Law And Order

Dunno if that is Stephen Harper or Vince Toews or that new kid, Julian Fantino
but here is a brilliant l and o idea.

In the USA dashboard mounted video cams are mandatory in all police cars.

Seems reasonable.


Sunday, December 12, 2010

3216...The Curse Of Brett Favre

An interesting life he has.

He retires.


Emails a picture of a hot dog to a hot chick.

Now his stadium's roof collapses under the weight the snow in the Twin Cities.

That wouldn't happen if he was back on da farm.


3215...Survey Says

Stephen Harper is the MVP, Most Valuable Politician, in our home and native land.

This was a phone poll of pols and pundits and and and done early last month.

The MVP race looked like this:

Prime Minister Stephen Harper: 21%

Government House Leader John Baird 14.9%

NDP Leader Jack Layton 12%

The LVP race looked this way:

Liberal Leader Michael Ignatieff 14.5%

Industry Minister Tony Clement 12.5%

Prime Minister Stephen Harper 12.5%

Bloc Leader Gilles Duceppe 8.3%

Also notable was comeback of the year, Maxime Bernier and the one that they want to see comeback, the girl who's picture is taped to the ceiling above Mr. Harper's bed, Helena Guergis.


3214...Morning Joe Cherry

Or Don Ohlmeyer him.

Those two men gave money to candidates in the last round of elex in America and got suspended from CNBC or MSNBC or some NBC, without pay I believe, for doing so.

My understanding is that Don Cherry pimped for Julian Fantino in the recent election.

Quid pro and f'ing quo.

By the way, even though he was a crap coach, hello, who C A N N O T er C O U L D N O T count and also, by the way, submarined the Colorado Rockies and was an even sh*ttier hockey player, I like him. Even had a Ron and Don clock for awhile.


Saturday, December 11, 2010

3213...Michael Moore Is Right: Rich Life Differently

For example take, uh, Michael Moore.

The star of the stuffwhitepeoplelike people and the everyman's everyman has decided to drop pounds.

So, did he go to Wal Mart and buy a month's worth of Slim Fast? Of course not: Wal Mart exploits its workers.

Join a gym? Uh, sweating is so bourgeouise in this epoch.

No, Mr. Moore did what many of would, if we could, checking himself into a luxury weight-loss camp in Florida.

"A fellow patron of the Pritikin Longevity Center and Spa told The Daily Caller that Moore turned up at the $4,500-a-week camp in Miami last month. The liberal filmmaker has been there before and told the Chicago Tribune in 2007 that the camp is where he learned to incorporate more fiber into his diet."

4,500 a week to not get fed?

Michael Moore is now one of them.


3212...More Fast Food Fun From America

Cut and paste from WPLG Local 10.

TAVERNIER, Fla. -- A man accidentally shot himself in the leg while waiting in line to order breakfast at a McDonald's restaurant in the Florida Keys.

Authorities on Wednesday said 44-year-old Rafael Ubeda didn't realize he was injured right away. In fact, he drove away when the restaurant manager asked him to leave after the shot was fired Tuesday morning.

The manager reported the incident to the Monroe County Sheriff's Office and deputies stopped Ubeda a few minutes later.

That's when a deputy spotted blood on the man's leg. Ubeda was treated at Mariner's Hospital.

Deputies said Ubeda will not be charged because the gun was not "knowingly" fired.

No wonder people sneak into that country.


3211...Have It Your Way

That is Burger King's slogan for sure but I don't think that his way was the dead way for Paul Cannon of the former Motor City. Mr. Cannon died of a blunt force trauma following the fight with an employee at the fast-food restaurant on Gratiot near St. Aubin on Thursday.

The Detroit News reports that "Detroit Police spokeswoman Yvette Walker said Cannon was reportedly causing a disturbance and tried to hit the employee, and the employee swung back. Cannon died at a local hospital. 'The victim fell to the floor...He was conveyed to a hospital and pronounced dead.'"

My fave part of the story is how the BK people reacted. They closed the restaurant Thursday night and Friday. Left the drive thru open though.

Bidness be bidness.


3210...Line Of The Day: Re Perimiter

John Ivison in today's National Post writes: If Maude Barlow thinks the "secret Canada-United States perimeter security plan" is an "outrageous attack on the rights of Canadians," it follows it must be a good thing.

Ah, Maude, my favourite Lennonist.

As in John Lennon, everybody is wrong but me.


3209...Nostalgia Triple E Style

Mark Kennedy in today's Sun papers waxes nostalgic about the Triple E Senate the Reformers, that's you Stephen Harper, demanded.

Equal. Elected. Effective.

Then Mr. Harper got in power and the Triple E Senate morphed into the Triple C Senate.

Connected. Conservative. Cronyism.

Mr. Kennedy quotes David Docherty, a Wilfrid Laurier University political science professor who says that our beloved Prime Minister is "...playing the same game that former prime ministers did, except people like Jean Chretien were open and honest about it when they said 'That's what it's there for.' "

He is the Prime Minister, he has stacked the Senate, he could change it.

He just won't.

Another Tory lie.


Thursday, December 9, 2010

3208...He Is No Scott Bradley

No he isn't.

He is Stephen Harper and he played rockstar last night.

John Ibbitson of the Globe and Mail fawned all over our beloved PM:

Stevie Harper and the Herringbones rocked the Conservative Party Christmas party Wednesday night, to raucous applause from what was, admittedly, a friendly house.

Sweet Caroline started the show, with the Prime Minister in a grey shirt and playing an electric piano, assisted by local musicians Richard Linke on guitar and bass, Phil Nolan on drums and Andre Van Schyndel playing bass and accordion. The show continued with I’m On My Way by The Proclaimers, The Who’s The Seekers and a few bars of Imagine in tribute to the 30th anniversary of John Lennon’s death.

Mr. Harper called the former Beatle “probably the most important person in the history of rock."

Political strategists will see a repeat and expansion of last year’s surprise performance at the National Arts Centre – a sure portent of an imminent election. Like most amateur musicians, Mr. Harper has no plans of quitting his day job.

Let me get this straight: radio stations have to play 30/40 per cent Cancon but our PM plays zero per cent?

Things that make me go hmmmmmm.


3207..."What You Save In Money...

...You Lose In Dignity."

The great Mike Cliff said that on stage at Yuk Yuks in Ottawa many moons ago.

True dat.

He was referring to Giant Tiger where this weekend you save not only money but also the HST, GST, PST whatever.

You still lose your dignity of course.


3206...The Perimeter: Great For Canada

Let's hope that it is an EU style border allowing Canucks and Yanks to move freely between border communities. I live in a border town, Ottawa, and can freely move between two different yet similar nation states, Quebec and Ontario. It is cool.

As a regular guy I can save money on premium gas, beer and groceries in Gatineau and not have to worry about delays at the border. Ditto Gat people who can fly across the bridges to take advantage of the better shopping and culture and hockey opportunities in Ontario.

If it, the perimeter, is like the EU it will allow our country to fufill the destiny that Sir Wilfrid Laurier envisioned for it, albeit a century later than he thought.


3205...143 000 000 To Kill A Moose

That is 143 million Canuckbucks to take down a Bullwinkle somewhere along our border.

Doesn't matter if it is the Tories or the Libs, you know that the bureaucratic morass they manage will figure out a way to spend beaucoup d'argent when spending a little change would do the job just as well.

My morning Ottawa Sun tells that the sidearms for the 1,568 border guards that keep our home and native land relatively kinda safe from both terrorists and cheap Yankee stuff cost 143 000 000.

And, God bless them, the Tories want to spend another 781 000 000 to arm 4,800 more guards.

Love it.


3204...We Get It Now: You Are Not A Lesbian

Oprah Winfrey, who, yet again, is on the cover of Oprah Magazine, says that she is not a lesbian in an interview with Barbara Walters that ABC is running tonight.

She even cried when asked about her twenty year relationship with Gayle King, a relationship that started in the early 80's.

One thing is for certain, Ms. Winfrey is not a great calculator.


3203...Follow-up On Blind DUI

Read back to WFDS Post 3197...Blind Man Arrested For DUI.

I was following up on the story, like the good reporter that I am, and noted in the Bartlesville Examiner-Enterprise, that is in Oklahoma btw, that our hero, Mark Alan Watson, was owed some court time to do some 'splaining.

He did not 'splain very goodly. In fact he 'splained badly. "As he was about to defend himslf to a judge on Monday afternoon, he feel on his face in the middle of the courtroom. He was prompltly arrested again for public intoxication.


Wednesday, December 8, 2010

3202...Christmas Ask

The Carleton Tavern in Ottawa, a fifteen minute drive/forty minute walk west of Parliament Hill, five and fifteen south of Tunney's, needs your help this Christmas.

The Carleton has been serving a meal to those of us who are less fortunate and need a little fellowship and a little cheer on December 25th.

What the Carleton needs is unwrapped gifts, sox are especially welcome, and food, turkeys on down. Vegetables, pies, squares, cases of pop and so on.

You may drop stuff off at 227 Armstrong from 11 in the morning til midnite, seven days a week or call Sam/Simon 613 728 4424


3201...The Queen Of Soul Is Very Sick confirmed today what many of us feared. 68 year old music icon Aretha Franklin has cancer. did not say which type of cancer but the National Enquirer reported that Miss Franklin has incurable pancreatic cancer, which has a 5-10 percent chance of recovery. The chances would be even lower for someone of Franklin’s age and weight, the paper said.

She is one of the most honored singers in American history, has won numerous Grammys, the National Medal of Arts, the Presidential Medal of Freedom and has been inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

Say a prayer.


3200...The Parade Will Take Its Usual Route

That would be the Montreal Canadiens Stanley Cup parade.


3199...Yet Another Reason To Be Proud

Craigslist has jettisoned sex ads in the States but we have them here in Canada.

Professor Benjamin Perrin, a spoilsport from UBC, is not as happy as I, saying that "They [the sex ads] are completely disrespectful to Canada. There's no principled reason for why they're ignoring repeated requests to stop this online flesh market." Ironically I read the words of the author of Invisible Chains: Canada's Underground World of Human Trafficking in the Ottawa Sun which, like all the Suns has several pages of women [and some men] selling their flesh.

Oh, Canada.


3198...And The Home Of The


Open to others.


That would be Canada's military.

Dress rules established for transsexuals in military

That is the headline in this morning's National Post. Front page.

So, while the United States is still wringing its hands over gays in the military and so on the Canuck forces have realized that if someone is willing to serve, willing to sacrifice their lives for their Home And Native Land and want to do it wearing something silky underneath their uniform, we good.

Another reason to be proud.


Tuesday, December 7, 2010

3197...Blind Man Arrested For DUI

It could only happen in a few parts of the world: The Ottawa Valley, Newfoundland or Oklahoma.

This is Oklahoma and this is cut and paste from NewsOn6 in the Sooner State:

BARTLESVILLE, Oklahoma -- A 41-year-old Bartlesville man being arraigned in Washington County District Court Monday for DUI, leaving the scene of an accident, driving under suspension and assault on a police officer was re-arrested for reportedly being drunk after he fell down before the judge.

A short time later, Mark Watson failed a breathalyzer test administered by sheriff's deputies.

The initial charges stemmed from Watson's arrest early Monday morning after he had reportedly been involved in a hit and run crash in Bartlesville.

Bartlesville Police investigating the 2:28 a.m. crash found Watson's vehicle and questioned him.

In the probable cause affidavit filed with the court, Watson told officers, "I'm ------- drunk, I was driving but I did not run the stop sign. That ----- hit me."

The affidavit goes on to say Watson refused to take a blood or breath test, telling the officers, "I ain't taking no ------- tests. I'm ------- drunk. I'm blind anyways and I can't drive."

Police say he also kicked an officer during the arrest.

The Washington County D.A.'s office is expected to file additional charges following Monday's court appearance.


3196...Hitler The Liberal

Jane Taber tells all that Big Red is demanding that rookie MP Julian Fantino be censured by our beloved Prime Minister "...for remarks he made to The Globe and Mail this weekend, comparing Liberal campaign strategy to Hitler's propaganda tactics."

Mr. Fantino, who spent most of the campaign avoiding the campaign, "...expressed his frustration with charges by the Liberals that he had run a 'peek-a-boo' campaign, avoiding public debates and afraid to address tricky issues."

Stupid facts. Facts which show that he did play peek-a-boo. Facts which mess up his argument.

Mr. Fantino "...told The Globe that was simply not the case, that the Liberals had made the allegation out of desperation. 'I think they intended to hurt my campaign,' Mr. Fantino said. 'The things they said ... a lot of them were absolute lies. They keep repeating [them]. I call it the Hitler theory. You tell a lie often enough you hope that some people will believe it.'"

Comparing the Liberals to the Nazis.

What a schmenge.


3195...Kyoto Is Dead

Not Stephane Dion's dog, thank goodness, no, it is the other Kyoto.

That is what an editorial in today's National Post posits. It points out that the Kyoto Protocol has been ratified by only a fifth of the 200 countries needed to make it fly.

Canada was the first of signatory nations to admit that, holy f*ck, no way Jose are we gonna make the limits.

There is no doubt to this layman that the climate has moderate since the days of his youth. There is also no doubt that the Kyoto Protocol, a really great idea, no go.

New plan.


3194...CFL Is Not Begging The Feds For Cash

They are partnering.

You say tomato; I say tomato.

As rose by any other name.


Mark Masters in the National Post writes that "The Canadian Taxpayers Federation blasted the federal government on Friday for granting the CFL $800,000 to help hold a regular season game in Moncton, N.B. in September. The not-for-profit group also demanded the government turn down funding requests for the 2012 Grey Cup festival and for a new stadium in Regina."

Bear in mind Regina, which has a CFL team that needs the dome for, max, six dates a year, wants more than a dome, they want an uber dome. Grand Forks, North Dakota, sorta down the road from Pile Of Bones, got a full service dome for 70 million and change; the Rider Dome is pegged at 423. And the dome in the Peace Garden State loses handfuls of change every year.

The issue at hand is that the CFL wants 12 mill for the 100th Grey Cup in Edmonton. The CFL seems to have got confused when the feds gave them 800k to put on a game in Moncton.

Let me break it down for Mark Cohon and the crew at CFL head office: the Grey Cup is going to happen and be successful no matter what; the 12 million just means the suites will be better. Moncton on the other hand broke new ground and engaged Atlantic Canucks in the Canadian Football League. Plus it cost well under a mill'.


3193...A Promotion For My Alma Mater

Carleton University was known as Last Chance U. That of course was during the era that Carleton truly was the 46th best university in Canada.

I had breakfast with some undergrads at CU today and found out that Carleton is now referred to Third Choice U.

A promotion for the U of K.


Monday, December 6, 2010

3192...Imagine How Little I Care

CNN leads a story with these bon mots:

Barring a steep drop in crude prices, U.S. motorists can expect to see gas prices exceeding $3 per gallon, if they are not seeing such prices already, according to a new survey of filling stations.

The latest Lundberg Survey of cities in the continental United States was conducted Friday. It showed the national average price for a gallon of self-serve unleaded gasoline at $2.91, an increase of 3.9 cents from the last survey two weeks earlier, survey publisher Trilby Lundberg said.


I am paid 4.52 Canuck Bucks for a U. S. sized gallon today.

Canada leads in yet another category!!!


3191...Bad News Equals Good News

It's all in the spin.

The bad news is that ZDF's live reality show Wetten Dass was halted after a 23-year-old contestant was severely injured while trying to jump over a moving car driven by his father.

The good news is that the incident prevented an appearance by the scourge of Stratford, Ont, Justin Bieber.


3190...Of All The Places In The World

To have free wi-fi, the Carleton Tavern, also, proudly, known as the ugly club, 227 Armstrong, Parkdale Market, Tunney's Pasture, Ottawa, would be the last place one would think would have such magic.

I mean they just got colour TV in 2004.

Pretty darn strange.


3189...Turn Out The Lights The Party's Over

Kinda cool that the news of Dandy Don Meredith's suddenish death at 72 breaks on a Monday.

The first star for the Dallas Cowboy, the ex QB was a member of the first Monday Night Football broadcast team from 1970 onwards.



Sunday, December 5, 2010

3188...Zero Means Zero

According to Kathleen Harris' piece
in the Suns today " 0% of Atlantic Canadians said they would donate to political parties."


That is definitive.


3187...Liar Liar Pants On Fire

Imagine my surprise when I turned to the letters to the editor page and saw a letter from the next Prime Minister of Canada, Michael Ignatief.

Imagine my surprise when he, rightfully, accused one of the prime time Stephen Harpers of lying.

MP Finley deceptive: Ignatieff
The Spec (Hamilton)

Re: Bill C-428

Recently MP Diane Finley sent letters to households in Haldimand-Norfolk which spread misinformation about the position of myself and local Liberal candidate, Bob Speller, on Bill C-428, the Private Members’ Bill that would amend residency requirements for Old Age Security (OAS) benefits.

This bill is proposed by Liberal MP Ruby Dhalla. While the intent of the bill — to increase assistance to new Canadians — is admirable, I have made it clear our party cannot support it.

Lowering the residency requirement for entitlement to OAS from 10 years to three would be prohibitively expensive and only provide assistance to a very small number of Canadians. There are a number of support systems and legal requirements already available to assist new Canadians.

Human Resources Minister Finley knows Bill C-428 is not supported by the Liberal Party of Canada, or by Speller. Yet she has sent this taxpayer-funded letter to thousands of residents, calling the bill a “Liberal proposal” and voicing her opposition to it.

Canadians expect their government to work with them to help solve the challenges they face. It is unfortunate they have a Conservative government so preoccupied with trying to boost its political fortunes through division and deception that Canadian families are being left behind.

The Liberal Party places great importance on retirement security. The measures we have committed to are compassionate and fiscally responsible. We would implement a Supplementary Canada Pension Plan to allow Canadians to voluntarily invest funds in our national pension. We would also give employees with stranded pensions following bankruptcy the option of growing their pension assets through the Canada Pension Plan. We would protect those on long-term disability by giving them preferred status as creditors in case of bankruptcy.

Haldimand-Norfolk residents should ask Finley what her government is proposing to help Canadians retire with dignity. They should ask what her government has done to halt local unemployment — to support farmers and locked-out steel workers, to stand up for Bick’s Pickles workers, and to finally take action on the unresolved situation in Caledonia.

Michael Ignatieff, Leader of the Liberal Party of Canada

If you cannot trust the Conservative Party of Canada, who can you trust?


3186...Ontario Gets Screwed As Usual

That is the thesis of an editorial in the Sunday Star.

The Toronto paper's editorial can be summed up in the opening paragraph:

The contrast could not be starker. In federal by-elections last Monday, there were 120,864 eligible voters in the riding of Vaughan, just north of Toronto, and only 53,549 in Dauphin-Swan River-Marquette in rural Manitoba. That means the vote of a Vaughan resident counts for less than half of the ballot of a person living in the Manitoba riding.

This is some serious bullsh*t.

Look at PEI; there are more people in my building than in all of Prince Edward Island yet they get four seats in the House of Commons.

Rep by pop.

We could learn from the Damn Yankees and should. My proposal would be six Senators per province and then pure rep by population with a minimum of one MP per province.


Saturday, December 4, 2010

3185...So Now I Have Seen It All

Don Cherry all in blue crying over the Leafs.

Julian Fantino calling Justin Trudeau a bully.

A superimposed Met Life blimp floating over a domed stadium.

These are the end times.


3184...The Bully Emerges

Now that it is in the bag Julian Fantino, the rookie Stephen Harper from Vaughn, has pulled his dick out and started swinging it.

Jane Taber's lead in the weekend Globe and Mail says it all: "For 30 days Julian Fantino held his tongue, campaigning as the Conservative candidate in the suburban Toronto riding of Vaughan, surviving on pizza and trying to ignore the Liberal attacks. He had vowed to take the high road during his campaign – and he did."

Translation: the big bully hid for a month.

In a rambling story full of non sequitors the future scary cabinet minister, a guy who is on record in his memoir Duty: The Life of a Cop as saying that the Charter goes too far, shows his true, scary, colours.

First Caldonia; next Canada.


3183...Canada Leads The World

And I contribute over a grand a year to the cause.

According to, and I don't doubt her, Stefania Morretti writing for the QMI Agency, the Suns et. al., we here in The Great White North are "...the world's highest-paying wireless users..."

We're number one!


3182...There Is A General Protocol At University

You check into residence, take a few years of class, graduate, move out and onward.

The Victoria Times Colonist has a nice little piece about Alkis Gerd'son who checked in to res at UVic in '91 and is only checking out today.

He ain't a slow learner; stopped taking classes in '97 and has a degree. He just likes it there. The matter has been the focus of hearings in B.C. Supreme Court and the B.C. Human Rights Tribunal.

In theory he will be off campus by noon BC time today.


3181...Happy Hanukkah Sports Fans

There have been a lot of great Jewish athletes.

Sandy Koufax. Ryan Braun. Red Holzman. Benny Friedman. Bob Nystrom. Dara Torres. Dolph Schayes. Hank Greenberg. Sid Luckman.

But the greatest of them all was Goldberg the Goalie, the original Mighty Duck.

Happy Hanukkah.


Friday, December 3, 2010

3180...News From Ur Capital

Things are spiralling out of control.

Every day another founded allegation is laid against the Ottawa Police Service and it is all over the papers.

As best the WFDS can discern all the malfeasance be going on north of the Queensway/417 and east of Carlingwood which is the Ottawa version of inside the Beltway.

What are the powers at the OPS doing? Union chief Steven Boucher is on the front page of the Ottawa Citizen advising his charges to circle the wagons; the beleaguered Chief, Vern White, is, in the middle of the
biggest crisis of his career, jetting to Finland for three weeks to get

Three weeks: that is a helluva a long wedding.


3179...Ron Santo Passes

If are a Cubs fan, you know him.

If you are not, it won't impact you.



3178...He Doth Protestest Too Muchuth

Something like that; I am an English scholar but I am a Carleton English scholar soooooooo I will cut and paste this puppy from Linda Diebel's column in this morning's Toronto Star:

It's not often Stephen Harper stutters, or blushes.

But being told that dominatrix Terri-Jean Bedford had challenged him to man up over the issue of legalizing prostitution did the job Thursday.

"Uh, I've never been, uh, called upon to, uh, respond to a dominatrix," said the Prime Minister.

Journalists at a Mississauga press conference roared with laughter.

"Uh, just so we are absolutely clear on this - I don't know who this individual is," he said, his delivery stronger.

"I am sure I have never met her."

He doth protestest too muchuth.


3177...Dany Heatley He Don't Care

Hated by many, most, all Ottawa Senator fans, number 15 rolled into town with the Sharks, got a point for himself and two for the team, winning 4/0 at the Bank.

On the banks of Lake Erie the prodigal son, LeBron James, returned to the only town he ever called home, until this fall, and dropped 38 on his erstwhile team, leading the Miami Heat to a 28 point win over the Cleveland Cavaliers.

Interestingly back in the day the Cavaliers were commonly referred to as the Cadavers. Perhaps time has come to returen to that monniker.


3176...It Is The End For The World Famous

My friend and number 18 fan Margaret Wyse sent me this:

if you begin typing world famous .... in the google search engine you get this

move over dan

If you imagine I am crushed you are abso right.


Thursday, December 2, 2010

3175...Prodigal Sons Return

Well, no, not really but I find if I put Prodigal Son in the title it teases about 250 Christians to click on the page sooooooo.

The returning to the place they used to play takes up too much space also.

It is Dany Heatley returning to the town he scorned, Ottawa, for the bright lights and fast pace of San Jose.

And LeBron returns to his hometown with his new team Miami. NBAction.


3174...We've Seen This Movie Before

A zillion times.

This time the Edmonton Oilers, who cannot getting anyone in the Alberta capital, be it tax payers or a corporate sugar daddy, to build them a new 1 000 000 000 . 00 dollar rink, who are making gestures to other cities, specifically one of the only two cities extant that want an NHL team, Quebec City.

"Top Edmonton Oilers executives, including President of Hockey Operations Kevin Lowe, met with Quebec City Mayor Regis Labeaume Wednesday to discuss possible relocation, QMI Agency has learned."

Same bullsh*t; different town.


3173...Le Important Town In La Belle

That of course would be Montreal. OMG, have you ever heard anyone say anything bad about that city? It is wicked and wicked. Plus it scored highly, higher than any other town in Canada, in a new ranking of 150 cities that reveals the urban centres that have made the best rebounds from the global financial crisis that began in 2008.

The Global Metro Monitor, released by Washington’s Brookings Institute, published in today's Globe and Mail, measured a number of factors that revealed "...that the financial downturn has shaken up the metropolitan world order. The cities that have demonstrated the greatest economic resilience are not centralized in the United States or Europe, but spread throughout Latin America and Asia, where a new network of trading partners, from Lima, Peru, to Shenzhen, China, has shed its reliance on American markets."

Montreal, a unique market in the Americas, finished 27th; Austin, Texas finished 26th. It is interesting to note that the same National pride that fuels a lot of energy in Quebec is also evident deep in the heart of Texas.

Dublin, Ireland, finished 150th. Out of 150.


3172...In A Related Story

The LPGA, that is the Ladies Professional Golf Association, has decided to allow girls who used to be boys to play on the tour.

Translation: CBS Sports reports that transgendered golfers will be allowed now that a vote by players eliminated the tour's "...female at birth..." rule.

Will this lead to a rush to the clinic by middling male golfers?

No price too high.


3171...Don't Tell Stockwell Day About This

QMI tells me over my morning coffee, which I usually have halfway through Oprah, that you can be m a d e gay.

There is a catch. You have to be a bird.

The University of Florida, that's where Gatorade was invented so this is a serious science place, Go Gators!, the science department down at the U of F, "...found out that birds exposed to [methyl] mercury in their diet have a significantly higher chance of being gay."

55% of boys started dating other boys.

I wonder how much methylmercury there is in the north-west end of your capital?


3170...More On The Leafs

The Toronto Maple Leafs, who are rumoured to be being packaged with other entities to Rogers for 1.3 billion are the most valuable hockey team in the NHL and, I would presume, the world. They are worth $505M USD.

Forbes gave up the goods yesterday. Rangers are team two at $461M USD and the Habs are third at $408M USD.

Your Ottawa Senators come in 17th out of 30 at $196M USD, not bad for a team that was bought for less than 65 per cent of that price less than a decade ago.


Wednesday, December 1, 2010

3169...Sorry Leaf Fans

Raptors fans.

FC Toronto fans.

Rogers, the company that has mismanaged the Toronto Blue Jays, a team that once drew over 4 000 000 fans a season, into a farm team for the true elites in MLB, are, the banner headline on the front page of your Toronto Star, making a 1.3 billion, that is 1 300 000 000 . 00 CanuckBucks, offer for your Leafs.

Turnout the lights, the party is over.


3168...Areatha Franklin Prayer Vigil

I sure hope I spelt the Queen of Soul's name correctly.

Problem is she has a big problem, a big medical problem and Local4 Detroit reports that as I write this there as a prayer vigil going on for Ms. Franklin. The problem, btw, is a medical one: she is gonna have an undisclosed medical procedure tommorrow.



3167...I Almost Died Of Shock

When I read in yesterday's Ottawa Citizen that Doctor's in La Belle are routinely taking bribes for better and faster service.

It is all about language; what I would call a tip, The College Of Physicians calls a bribe.

The Montreal Gazette reported that the tips are as high as 10 000 . 00 Canuck bucks.


3166...Biggest Loser


The dummy who robbed Pat Burns' widow's car while she was at her husband's funeral.

But, like, doh, not only was Mr. Burns an ex coach of the Habs, he also was a copper and you are now priority 1 in all of everywhere.

Plus, stupid, most of the stuff you thiefed in at once invaluable and worthless.