Saturday, August 24, 2013

6340...Senator Vern White Castigates Justin Trudeau

Twas in my morning Ottawa Sun.  Careerist supreme Senator Vern White was hating on Liberal leader Justin Trudeau for saying that he took a hit off a reefer while an MP.

This kind of self serving bullsh*t kills me.

It is not just Senator White; the Ottawa Sun contacted a bunch of local pols, Mayor Jimmy Watson included, and got a lot of non responses/no comments.

Seriously.  If you attended a post secondary educational institution any time since 1970 and you did not smoke pot at least once you are most probably lying.

That includes you Senator White.


Friday, August 23, 2013

6339...Rob Ford Takes Out Hulk Hogan

Rob Ford's youth, he is only 44, and lower centre of gravity helped him defeat Hulk Hogan earlier today at FanExpoCanada in Toronto.

The pre match breakdown, via The National Post, goes like this:

National Post

This is the scene right after hizzoner smoked Mr. Hogan.

Tyler Anderson /  National Post


6338...Orange Carleton Tonight


Canadian Tire Centre.

And you thought there was nothing to do in Ottawa.


Thursday, August 22, 2013

6337...Stronach Topless

Not the one you were hoping for though.  It's her dad, Frank Stronach, topless.

Mr. Stronach is now 80 and running for Grand Puba in Austria.

Apparently this topless thing is all the rage in Germany Light coz he ain't the only one who is doing it.  This younger buck is also running for the same spot and went all Speedo on us.

And no you are not the only one who thinks it is weird.


6336...Important Message For Tim Hudak

You of course are aware that the soon to be ex leader of the Ontario Progressive Conservatives is the biggest Buffalo Bills fan extant.  Hometown team and all that, eh?

Just want to let Tim Hudak know that if he is planning on brown bagging it out to Orchard Park this season that the brown bag has to be opaque.

NFL rules and all that.


6335...Blacks Poor Coz Of Eating Chicken

I canna make this stuff up.  

KVDR Denver reports that "In a meeting of the state’s Economic Opportunity Poverty Reduction Task Force Wednesday, Colorado State Sen. Vicki Marble (R)  Colorado State Sen. Vicki Marble (R) delivered a long monologue suggesting that the reason for poverty among certain minority groups was that they eat too much chicken and barbecue."

Another problem solved.


Wednesday, August 21, 2013

6334...Back To School Specials

This is what low taxes and a competitive liquor industry gets one.

3 bottles for 9.90$.

No health care but you are sooooo drunk that you don't realize you are sick.  I think that is the theory.



6333...The Minimum Wage Big Mac


6332...Hoop In Yer Capital

Oh yeah it is on.

Four big games this week in Ottawa.

Tonight it is Carleton on campus against the Wisconsin Badgers of the Big Ten.

Tomorrow the Badgers move over to Ottawa U.

Friday Carleton at the Canadian Tire Centre in Kanata versus last year's final four Syracuse Orange.

Saturday the U of Zero hosts the Orange.

Look for me at all games wearing my official red and black Carleton sombrero.


Tuesday, August 20, 2013

6331...Transit Crisis In Toronto

Ferget about kids getting shot on the street cars and over crowded busses and trains.  Not to forget the subway, btw.

The Red Rocket has seen better days.

Now this.

The crisis is [and this is leading the news in the self proclaimed world class city, Toronto] that the new TTC, bus driver clothes, are going to be in the colours of an iconic NHL team.  

The Montreal Canadiens.

Operators of Toronto's TTC have rejected some proposed new uniforms for being too Habs-like. The Toronto workers don't want to be confused as supporting the likes of Alex Galchenyuk and the rest of the Montreal Canadiens.

This is a crisis.


6330...Stick A Fork In Yer Penis

My understanding is Canberra, the capital of Australia, is the most boring capital in the western world.

That said it comes as no surprise that The International Journal of Surgery Case Reports tells all that a 70 year old resident of that fair city decided to alleviate the boredom by sticking a fork up his johnson.  

man fork urethra

Things not on my bucket list.  This being number one.


6329...Stephen Harper Does It Again

Proroguing Parliament.

This has got a lot of people's panties in a knot.  It shouldn't.

Essentially what our beloved Prime Minister, Stephen Harper, is doing is delaying opening day from September 16th to mid October.

Prime Minister Stephen Harper is greeted by a group of Canadian Rangers as he arrives in Whitehorse, Yukon on Sunday, August 18, 2013.Whitehorse is Harper's first stop on his annual northern Canada tour.

The sky is not falling.

I repeat:  the sky is not falling.


Friday, August 16, 2013

6328...I Went Bowling For The First Time August 16

August 16, 1977.

I was sitting in my buddy Jeff Hamilton's Honda Civic in front of a bowling alley in Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan when Peter Summer of 13CJME broke the sad news that The King, Elvis Presley, had died at home in Memphis.

We bowled in his honour.


6327...No Muslim Parking

So say the signs at the Westview Shopping Center in Spring Branch, Texas, a suburb of Houston.

KPRC TV reports that the signs starting popping up during Ramadan.  The story is not as evil as one would think.  The Westview Shopping Center is near the El Farouq Mosque and some/many of the users of the mosque were cherry picking spots at the mall.

In Ottawa they solve this problem by sending out platoons of by-law officers to drop fifty dollar tickets on the faithful.


Thursday, August 15, 2013

6326...Lisa Robin Kelly Is No More

I swear she was my fave on FOX's That 70's Show.

She was only on it sporadically coz she had a bit of a drinking problem.

That drinking problem killed her.  Her agent told ET that "Unfortunately Lisa Robin Kelly passed away last evening...Lisa had voluntarily checked herself into a treatment facility early this week where she was battling the addiction problems that have plagued her these past few years. I spoke to her on Monday and she was hopeful and confident, looking forward to putting this part of her life behind her. Last night she lost the battle. Cause of death has not been issued yet and no death certificate has been issued either."

Light a candle.


6325...Stephen Harper Making Beeg Mistake

Mandatory sentences.  Especially for drugs.  Stupid.

So says Eric Holder.  Who is Eric Holder you may ask?  He is the top cop in the States that is who Eric Holder is.

Mr. Holder has been all over the media this week telling you that mandatory sentences have been a tool that has failed.  An expensive tool coz when you lock someone up for a quarter century it costs.  A lot.

Now that you have sent Vic Toews back to Winnipeg you may want to sit down with yourself Stephen Harper and do the right thing.

Mandatory sentences are not the right thing.


6324...Or We Could Abolish The Senate

One can smell the fear rolling off a Huffington Post article I just finished that has Senators from both teams, red and blue, splaining how vital and important travel is to them.  It is so they can contribute fully to Canuck society.

Without the reality of ever losing their jobs no matter how badly they f*ck up.

Cash for life.

Welfare with a staff.

Just ask Senator Raymond Lavinge.

raymond lavigne

Oh, wait, he is in jail.

They got one.


Wednesday, August 14, 2013

6323...Today Is A Magic Day

Earvin Johnson, formerly of Lansing, Michigan, currently of Los Angeles, California, turns 54 today.

Better known as Magic Johnson, this man is one of the most prominent businessmen in America, concentrating on iniatives in the inner cities.  He also, along with Larry Bird, helped save the NBA from late night TV and oblivion.  Plus he put a human face on HIV which he has been dealing with for the last two decades.


6322...Rob Ford. I'm Lovin' It!!!

Hey you gotta admit he looks like he is having a time.

The mayor likes to party all the time, party all the time, party all the time.


6321...Coming To A Stephen Harper Near You

Voter suppression.

The home of Andy Griffith, North Carolina, is leading the way.

Check this out from

On Monday, North Carolina Gov. Pat McCrory (R) signed into law a massive voter suppression bill compiling numerous different provisions used to restrict voting in other states. Among other things, the bill includes a strict voter ID law, which will reduce turnout among minority, low-income and student voters. It will cut a full week of early voting, which is likely to depress turnout amonglow-income and African American voters. And it will prohibit certain kinds of voter registration drives, which tend to register low-income and minority voters.
Students, low-income voters and racial minorities, of course, tend to vote for Democrats. McCrory, and the lawmakers behind this bill, are Republicans.

You think it couldn't happen here?

Think again.


Tuesday, August 13, 2013

6320...RG3 On Being Gay In The NFL

He's all for it.

For those of you too hip to follow professional sports RG3 is Robert Griffin III.  The hottest star in the hottest sports league in the world.  The National Football League.

Check this out from

On the possibility of a gay player coming out: "I think there are [gay players] right now, and if they're looking for a window to just come out, I mean, now is the window. My view on it is, yes, I am a Christian, but to each his own. You do what you want to do. If some Christians want to look at being gay as a sin, then thinking about other women, committing adultery—or any of those other sins that are in the Bible—those are sins, too. And God looks at all of us the same way."

The Washington Redskins quarterback isn't gay but he sure is a Christian.


6319...Pam Wallin Says Thanks


Monday, August 12, 2013


WTFWJD is a sticker that British clergywoman The Rev Alice Goodman has on her fat ride.  It's all in The Telegraph, doncha know?

Rev Alice Goodman's car which has a bumper sticker which reads WTFWJD

Apparently this is what passes for controversy in Cambridge, Merry Ole.

Just sayin'.


Saturday, August 10, 2013

6317...Best Comment On Hudak's Problems

You are aware of course that Buffalo Tim Hudak is on the ropes with the party he leads, Ontario's Progressive Conservatives.

Something bothers his followers.  That something is the fact that he is a choke artist.

Best line comes from something I saw on Facebook.

Lawrence Dawkins Hey Dean I kinda like "Tea Party" Tim I think he is good for his Party. So what if he has no ideas

They've turned on you brother.


Friday, August 9, 2013

6316...Greatest Food In Human History

Dollar for dollar it is the McDonald’s McDouble cheeseburger.  A buck plus taxes in the States; 1.39$ here.

Mcdonalds mcdouble

So says a commenter on the Freakonomics blog.  Freakonomics was written by economics writer Stephen Dubner and professor Steven Levitt and is about the hidden side of everything.  I am working from Kyle Smith's column in the New York Post earlier in the week where he also pointed out that "Junk food costs as little as $1.76 per 1,000 calories, whereas fresh veggies and the like cost more than 10 times as much, found a 2007 University of Washington survey for the Journal of the American Dietetic Association. A 2,000-calorie day of meals would, if you stuck strictly to the good-for-you stuff, cost $36.32, said the study’s lead author, Adam Drewnowski."

Slightly higher in Canada.


Thursday, August 8, 2013

6315...SUN TV Should Hire Me

Reported everywhere north of the border is the news, this cut and paste from CFRA Ottawa, that "The CRTC has denied Sun News Network's bid for mandatory coverage."

They really should hire me.

Their problem is that their commentators, reporters, whatever all want to be loved.  That is some serious bullsh*t.  What they should want is to be watched.


6314...Tim Hudak Death Watch

Pulled this out of The Star.

"Continuing voter rejection, with Hudak ranked dead last in personal approval ratings of just 27 per cent. He trails both NDP Leader Andrea Horwath (43 per cent) and Premier Kathleen Wynne (35 per cent), according to a Forum Research poll released last week."



6313...Carleton In Da House

Ravens men's ball is now 14/16 versus NCAA men's hoopsters.

Hoopsters.  LOL.  I am writing like Grantland Rice.

Last night they destroyed Towson, a Maryland mid-major, a lot to a little.

Next run for Carleton is Sunday at 4 versus TCU.

Tomorrow night the number 3 team in Canada, the U of Zero, play Texas Christian University.  Tip is at 8.  Look for me in my Horned Frog sombrero.


6312...Newark World's Unfriendliest City

Newark, New Jersey has been selected by Travel magazine Conde Nast Traveler as the least friendliest city on planet earth.

Newark, New Jersey. Picture: Dougtone/Flickr

At least the home of the New Jersey Devils is pretty.

Pretty ugly.


Wednesday, August 7, 2013

6311...50 Shades Of Grey Costing U $$$

Yet it is not an election issue.

The Ottawa Citizen had a story today about how since that nefarious book became more nefarious they have been summoned to many handcuffed maidens [and knights, presumably] who were uncuffable due to technical issues.

The story says that the London Fire Brigade has been sent to about 80 such handcuff malfunctions.


Tuesday, August 6, 2013

6310...Potheads Here Is An Idea

I am talking to you Matt Mernaugh.

As it stands you celebrate the evil weed marijuana on Hitler's birthday, April 20.  4/20.

I have a better idea.  Why not on August 6, Bob Marley's, one of the Saints of the movement, homeland Jamaica's anniversary?

This year it is 51.

Weather is guaranteed to be snow free.  August is boring so you will get more pub.  I am on yer side.

Great idea, eh?


6309...Rob Ford's Friends Keeping Dying

Or getting arrested.

Or shot.

Or both.

From comes these words:

"Anyhow, forget the video for at least a moment. Think about the photograph. In the picture above, there are four men. One is dead, two are under arrest, and one is the mayor of Toronto."

The company one keeps.


Monday, August 5, 2013

6308...John Baird Represents

Good on the Honourable.  

Foreign Affairs Minister John Baird says Ottawa has raised concerns about Russia's anti-gay law privately with Russian officials before and after President Vladimir Putin signed the law.

I don't know if you caught this but last week "Foreign Affairs Minister John Baird denounced Russia's controversial new anti-gay law as hateful Thursday, saying it could incite violence.
In an exclusive interview with The Canadian Press, Baird described how Canada has worked behind the scenes to persuade Russia not to follow through with the law."
Credit where credit is due.

6307...First Lab Burger Tastes


Gizmodo says that "BBC correspondant Pallab Ghosh was present at the meat's inaugural tasting event, and has been live-tweeting the tasters."

The consensus is that it tastes so bad that Mickey D's are going to put it on their dollar menu.

True that.


Sunday, August 4, 2013

Saturday, August 3, 2013

6304...More Bad News For Tim Hudak

Kevin Kolb slipped on a rubber mat yesterday.

Who's dat, you say?

Mr. Kolb is a new quarterback for Tim Hudak's fave football team, his hometown Buffalo Bills.

He has a bobo that will keep him out of practice for a while.

BTW both the Bills, who haven't made the playoffs in over a decade and Mr. Hudak are a good match coz they are both chokers and losers.


6303...Ron Paul On Spying On The People


6302...No Tipping Allowed In MTL

At least not on the bus.  

Pauline Tantost found that out the hard way.  She told QMI Agency "...that she and her son were booted off the bus last week after she spent five hours in an emergency room with her two-year-old son Xavier."

Mom says Montreal bus driver abandoned her, toddler on dark street over lack of change

Ms. Tantost said she got on a bus to head home and was told that she had to pay 3$.  Turned out she only had a 5$. Not good enough; exact change only.

She then got to meet a transit inspector who gave her a 219$ ticket.  For tipping.

Montreal.  Where the unthinkable happens on a regular basis.


Friday, August 2, 2013

6301...Dr. Cox Was Right About Porn

He was one of the doctors on NBC/ABC's Scrubs.

He said that if they took porn off the 'net the only site left would be

We are going to find out if that is true if what I saw on The National last week comes to fruition.  A Manitoba MP, Joy Smith, wants porn in Canada to be opt in.  That is apparently what is going to happen in England sooner rather than later.

The ironically named Conservative, as if you did not know that she was Blue, wants to this to protect the children.  It is always about protecting the children.


6300...It's A Turtle; It's A Hamburger

Oh my goodness check this out from the South China Morning Post via Ned Hepburn on

The incident occurred on the morning of July 29, when a man, surnamed Li, was about to board China Southern Airlines flight 345 to Beijing, Guangzhou Daily reported. As Li passed through airport security, X-ray screening machines detected a few “odd protrusions” sticking out of a KFC burger that the man had packed in his bag.
Airport staff determined that the protrusions looked suspiciously like turtle limbs, and asked to inspect Li’s luggage.
“There’s no turtle in there, just a hamburger,” Li reportedly insisted. “There’s nothing special to see inside.”
One truly cannot make this stuff up.

turtle-burger - Chinese man tries to board plane with pet turtle disguised as hamburger

Only re report it.


6299...Message To Premier Wynne

I know the right wing papers, the Suns, and the right wing talkers, CFRA, are all about the message that was sent to Premier Kathleen Wynne.

Methinks they be interpreting said message backwards and opposite to what it is.  The right won one election out of five.  One.  Ontario's voters loudly and clearly proclaimed that they want a progressive government not a Progressive Conservative government.

That is the message to Premier Wynne.


6298...Classy Conservative

This time it is Laurie Hawn, the Stephen Harperite in Edmonton-Centre.

MP Hawn, upon hearing that Paul Bernardo, the psycho killer from Southern Ontario, wants an upgrade in his living accommodations, Tweeted the following:

Laurie Hawn
So, Paul Bernardo wants nicer accommodations. Rot where you are, sicko.

Way to stay classy Mr. Hawn.


6297...Buffalo Bills Fan Chokes Again

That would be Fort Erie's own, if they haven't disavowed him yet, Tim Hudak.

He is the soon-to-be former leader of the Progressive Conservatives in Ontario.

He sucks.

Five by-elections yesterday in Ontario.  He won one.  And he really didn't even win that one coz the candidate in Etobicoke was/is local hero Doug Holyday.

Mr. Holyday by the way is a spry 70 plus.  Way to build on youth and vibrancy Mr. Hudak.


Thursday, August 1, 2013

6296...Showtime In Ontario: Beginning Of End 4 Hudak

It is by-election day in Ontario.

Five seats are up for grabs and if Tim Hudak and his Progressive Conservative's don't grab four of them one would think that he would be for the high jump.

I hope not coz he sucks as a politician.