Sunday, October 31, 2010

3036....Hot Dog It Is Cesar Milan

The dog whisperer dude who is
blowing thru the Great White North this month including a stop this Wednesday at Scotia Bank Place in Kanata.

Cool fact in Adrian Chamberlain's piece in the
Ottawa Citizen today was the
fact that when he snuck into Cali he survived on hot dogs.

As Alanis Morrisette would say, isn't that ironic?


3035...Celine Dion: The Nelson Eddy Of Today

True that.

If you look at her career it is a lot like the star of three score and ten years ago.

Now the Quebecoise superstar, living in the promised land, Floride, has chosen to name her new twin boys Nelson and Eddy. Ostensibally Nelson is named after Nelson Mandela and Eddy after Eddy Marnay.

Best to all.


3034...Conservatives Plan To Waste Money

On the frigging Grey Cup.

Twelve million to help promote The
CFL's 100th edition thereof.

As Mark Sutcliffe writes in today's Ottawa Citizen in his piece lambasting the CFL for not going pink for breast cancer in the tenth month, unlike the NFL, it is painful that the league is asking "...for money that could otherwise be spent on...cancer research,"

Screw healthcare, what the Stephen Harpers promote are prisons, bread and circuses.


3033...Will He Or Won't He?

He is Brett Favre and the will he or won't he is will he start
today in New England?

He has two breaks in his ankle and is having trouble doing the QB thing.

Time to man up coach Childress and do whatcha gotta do.


3032...Happy Halloween

This be the day.

And, according to Saturday's Ottawa Sun, charges for vandalism increase on Halloween.

In other news the Sun broke the news that the
sky is blue, water is wet and Adolf Hitler had anger issues.

I smell a Pulitzer.


Saturday, October 30, 2010

3028...No More Oprah; No More Dr. Phil


Brenden Johnstone reports to
me via Facebook that TLC (doesn't that stand for The Learning Channel?) is going to be stripping a show by the great Tea Partier herself Sarah Palin.

I bet Russell Barth will save his best bud for Mrs. Alaska.


3027...Halloween And Transvestites

Seriously. Is it tough or great to be a TV on 31 October.

The thought occured to me as I was cruising on OC Transpo 95 tonight in Ottawa.

I suppose if one is a closeted TV this is a great night but what about yer reg dudes who walk on the wild side?

Yes I know, y'never thought about it. Well now y'have.


3027...Bad Week For Eugene Haslam

First he gets his head handed to him in Ottawa's muni election, getting only the friends and family vote.

And now this.

All of Ottawa media is reporting that there was was a stabbing outside his nightclub, Zaphod Beeblebrox, Friday morning at 2:30.

Tough week for a pillar of your capital's community.


3026...Rob Ford Gets The Street

That is the thesis of Michael Coren's column in the Toronto Sun today.

What happened in Tronna this time out is reminiscent of what happened in Ottawa four years ago. A lot of your vizmins and your immigrant types have difficulty voting for George Smitherman/Alex Munter coz they are gay.

I am not calling it homophobia but it is what it is and immigrants who are now voters don't necessarily, no matter what CFRA's Lowell Green and his apostles think, reject so called traditional values. They came her coz they liked what they heard about Canada. We ain't the only country on the map.

Something to keep in mind during planning for
the coming election.


3025...Brett Favre's Hot Dog Makes 30 Rock

Apparently number 4 texted it to one of the pretty young things on TGS.

The man does have Tiger Woods disease.



3024..:Big By Elections A Test For Iggy?

That is what the chattering classes are saying about the three upcoming trips to the polls.

Especially Vaughn-Costco-Yorkdale Centre in the sorta GTA.

Well they be wrong.

By elections are like pre season games. Great to win but in the scheme of things they don't mean that much. If anything.

The key is the general election where I believe, I know in fact, that the NDP will dip and Parti Verte will vapourise. The question is, of course, will that progressive vote stay home or do the correct thing and vote Red

Our future depends on them voting and voting for Mikey I.


3023...Here Is An Election Winning Idea

Federally or provincially.

We have to start testing seniors more often. Driving seniors I mean.

Like every Tuesday. Damn the cost.


Friday, October 29, 2010

3022...Still Dead. Still Famous. Still Rich.

That would be Elvis Presley's former son-in-law Michael Jackson.

Forbes magazine says he earned 275 000 000 . 00 USD last year putting him on the top of the cadaver list.

In fact he earned more than the next twelve dead stars combined.


3021...Avoid Fraternities: Make Your Own Friends

That is my advice especially on light of what Delta Kappa Epsilon is accused of doing to its pledges this fall.

Pamela Roth of the Edmonton Sun tells all that they are alleged to have made pledges " their own vomit...". My dog likes that but she is a Labrador so it goes with the territory. The pledges were also allegedly "...locked in a plywood box and deprived of sleep.". Plus the genie at DKE videoed their bullsh@t.

Make your own friends.


3020...Mayor O'Brien To Write Book

The soon to be former mayor of your capital, Larry O'Brien, has announced on Facebook that he is going to write a book about being mayor of Ottawa.

After the cruise to Barbados. Of course.

And I have him pegged as CFRA's next big talk star.


3019...Unfunnyman Gerry Dee Is Back

On The Score. Interrupting stuff.

Seriously cancer is funnier than this non clown. I know he works cheap and everything but you could only do better if you got some one else, eh?

Derek Edwards, Mike Ward, Tracy MacDonald.


3018...Speaking Of Poppies

Saw my first one on a civillian today.

Downtown in your capital.

Time to pony up boys and girls; 'tis for a great cause.


Thursday, October 28, 2010

3017...Book 'Em Danno No More

James MacArthur, Danno on the original Hawaii 50, has passed.

USA Today reports that he was 72.

Prayers with.


3016...Polls Are Out

Or in.

It is Thirstday, uh Thursday and the Nanos Poll released and to the CBC, has the Tories up a bit in the low 30s and the Libs holding at 27.8.

The big bump was by the Green Party who
made it above 10 for, I believe, the first time ever.



No HST on poppies.

That is f@cking bulls&it.

Taxes should be applied fairly and evenly.



Not the Winnipeg kind, either.

Our pilots be flying F 16s.

Prime Minister Harper wants to buy F 35s.

By my calculations we are 19 Fs behind.

It is only 16 000 000 000 . 00.

And hospitals are not as cool.


Wednesday, October 27, 2010

3013...New Mayor In Hospital With Infected Tattoo

No not Rob Ford or Jim Watson or Hazel McCallum. The mayor I am referring to is Jon Gnarr the new mayor of Reykjavik.

Mr. Gnarr had a tat of the Icelandic capital's coat of arms on his arm and it got infected.

Let's wish him the best.


3012...Rock Chalk Jayhawk V.2

The only losing coach in Kansas basketball history was Canuck James Naismith.

The irony of that is Mr. Naismith invented the sport at the Springfield, Massachusetts YMCA in 1891.

Randy Boswell reports in today's Ottawa Citizen that the original thirteen rules will be auctioned off in the Big Apple in December and could get 2,000,000.00 USD.


3011...On The Other Hand Losing Pays

At least if you are an incumbent who got beat in Ottawa.

The Ottawa Sun tells all that losing council members in the capital are seen off with one third of their salary which is about 31 k.

Then they are eligible for maximum pogey.

Sweet, eh!


3010...Rex Murphy On Disabled List

According to The National's blog Rex Murphy is suffering fromimor health issues and won't be in the game until the end of the year.

Sorry to hear that.

Prayers with.


3009...The Russians Are Coming

Actually they are not but Stephen Harper and his gang are using that as an excuse to spend billions and billions and billions of your dollars on flying things.

In my rational view this money would be better spent fixing things that are broken such as health care.

But nooooooooo.


3008...I Got Nothing


Tuesday, October 26, 2010

3007...Tim Hudak

Premier Tim Hudak in his dreams.

I love his anti (the real) Premier Dalton McGuinty adverts. They are cute. I especially like when Mr. Hudak says "When I was growing up in Fort Erie and we couldn't afford something...blah blah blah." Of course the sentence should end "...we would slip across the Peace Bridge to Buffalo where everything is cheaper and smuggle it back."

Truth in advertising.


3008...Brett Favre Done Like Dinner

Looks that way.

He has a 191 game starting streak that will most likely be snapped coz his ankle is snapped in not one but two places.

Jenn Sterger was not available for comment.


3007...Mayor Rob Ford

Kinda rolls off the tongue, eh?

A lot of hand wringing going on especially among the chattering classes but least keep two things in mind: he was voted in and he only gets one vote on council.

Back to your lattes.


3007...NFL Players To Wear Dresses

In an effort to further cut down on hitting that results in boo-boos, my sources tell me that the NFL will require their players to wear dresses this weekend.

To tie in with breast cancer awareness all quarterbacks will wear pink dress.

You read it here first.


3006...Ezra Levant Is Unhappy

Like what is new eh?

The soon to be Sun TV star is all bent out of shape in this day's Ottawa Sun about the pending sentencing deal that boy soldier Omar Khadar is getting.

Mr. Khadar, who was 15 when he was charged with war crimes, is now 24 and has been in custody for close to a decade and is looking at another 8: 1 in the States and 7 in Canada.

I believe Ezra Levant would like to have Mr. Khadar executed. Drawn and quartered perhaps on the Ezra Levant Show? Imagine the ratings!


3005...Friday Night Lights Final Season

Ce soir on Direct TV's channel 101 the fifth and final season of Friday Night Lights is up.

If you haven't seem the show, well, that is what Surf The Channel is for.

The best.


Monday, October 25, 2010

3004...Looks Like Jim And Rob Big City Mayors

Ottawa picks Jim Watson; Rob Ford Toronto.

Looks solid for both.

Good and good God.


3003...Derek Jeter To Red Sox

NBC's baseball blog puts that out there.

Wonder if Minka Kelly would like to live in Boston?

It would be good though.

For the Yankees.



That has been the rallying cry in Ottawa' s municipal election.

Fact is there is a pretty good chance that all the incumbents running, I believe the number is 19, will win ce soir. In my view that would be a good parlay.

I can only see 3 possible councillors getting beat: Rob Jellett in Cumberland, Alex Cullen in Bay and Christine Leadman in Kitchissippi.

But I would still install them as faves, a bit long but faves nonetheless.


3001...Merry Christmas

Xmas stuff is out at Dollarama already.

Time is like a train that is continually gaining speed isn't it?

Such is life.


3000...E Day Ontario

And, outside a small circle of friends, the buzz is non palpable.

At least in Ottawa.

The irony in your capital is that the big push has been for change and yet out of the 19 incumbents running for council at least 17 are mortal locks and are faves in the other two.


Sunday, October 24, 2010

2999...Oh I Do Believe It Is Rob Ford

The Nanos poll I just read in the Toronto Sun has him 8 points up on George Smitherman.

Even with the margin of error Mr. Ford looks like a lock.

This will be interesting for sure.


2998...Five Five Five

Apparently every 823 years a month has five Fridays and five Saturdays and five Sundays and Doug MacArthur Facebooked me and told me I had to tell you.

Why it took him til the last week of the month to send me this info but he said if I tell you I get money and if I don't the sky will fall.



2997...Brett Favre's Junk Comes Home

In less than five minutes Brett Favre will be in the town where he achieved his greatest glory, Green Bay.

As you may have noted Mr. Favre was circumspect in terms of jpeg distribution of his junk when he was with the Packers.

Perhaps the cold air caused shrinkage.


2996...Future Gov. General Dion Has Twins

Celine Dion, a singer who will be GG in the 2020's, gave birth to twin boys in West Palm Beach, Quebec-Sud.

All are well.


2995...Sun TV Adds Two

That is the headline on page two of today's Ottawa Sun.

The two are sure to make my friend Ian Morrison wet his panties.

They are sh$t disturber Ezra Levant and semi-hot anchor chick Krista Erickson. What is uber cool us both are westerners. The west gets in.


2994.:.Hizzoner's Last Day

That would be Anybody But Larry O'Brien, mayor of your capital.

How will he spend his last day?

Knocking on doors?

I think not.

Making radio and TV appearances?

I think not.

My sources tell me he will have a fufilling day with his feet on the coffee table w
sipping a cold one and watching the NFL.


Saturday, October 23, 2010

2993...Rock, Chalk, Jayhawk

A celebration of former Kansas Jayhawk and Ottawa Rough Rider star Jay Roberts' life will be held Sunday morn at 11 at the Carleton Tavern, 227 Armstrong in Ottawa's Hintonburgh area.

I will be there with my black and red sombrero on.

And they have quarts!


2992...Mack Brown And Minka Kelly Cry

As does all of Austin, Texas.

The Longhorns, a top 10 team, inexplicably, lost to the 3 touchdown underdog Iowa State Cyclones by a touchdown, 28/21.

This is one of the all time biggest upsets in history, kinda like the Calgary mayoralty thingy.


2991...Yeppers Two Sleeps To Go

And then it will be eday.

Of course the big race is in the big smoke and it is, as best I can tell, too close to call between Rob Ford (boo) and George Smitherman (yay).

If you are in Hogtown do the right thing and vote for Mr. Smitherman. Even if you have to hold your nose while you do it.


2989...Poor Mike Tyson

My fave fighter went to all the trouble of going to Prague and, The Globe and Mail reports, the unsophisticated habitants of that sleepy burgh would not spend $171,484.00 for dinner with da champ.

Mike Tyson was expecting to pull a cool mill USD a day out of the European capital.

Instead he is hitch-hiking home.


2988...Russell Williams: I Want My Lawyer

I posing a question that has not been pit forth in the many articles I have read, viewed and heard re the Col. Russell Williams crime saga.

What if he, when offered by OPP Det. Sgt. Jim Smyth, had of said the magic
words: I want to see my lawyer.

Would shutting the f@ck up have helped?


Friday, October 22, 2010

2987...Can James Dean Rise From The Dead?

That and other electoral questions will be answered in 72 hours in your nation's capital.

The mayor's chain is a lock to go around Jim Watson's neck but the rest, u'nevah know.

James Dean by the way is seeded third in Knoxdale-Merivale Ward but anything could happen in the next day or three.


2986...Classy To The End

That would be current Ottawa mayor Larry O'Brien.

His retort to the man who will be suceeding him, Jim Watson, as reported in today's Metro, was golden: "Suck it up princess."

Classy. You are still not very classy Mr. O'Brien.


2985...Fearmonging Kills Senior

Jos Louis Potvin of Levis, Quebec was paranoid about getting ripped off in his mobile home so he rigged a rifle to a rope.

The Quebec Provincial Police say the 75 year old died Thursday when his booby trap killed him.

Police spokesman Ann Mathieu said "He was a victim of his own fear."


2984...No Premier McGuinty No

I am a Liberal to the core but something that Brian Lilley wrote in today's Sun was scary.

He alleges that Premier Dalton McGuinty was/is considering banning KFC's new Double Down sandwich. I haven't had one but boy oh boy oh boy they sound de-f&cking-licious. Fried chicken, cheese, bacon and another slab of fried bird. No bread.

The heart stopper special.

Please, please, p l e a s e don't ban it.



2983...Mrs. Brett Favre Speaks

Yesterday on Good Morning America on ABC.

She wasn't talking about the allegations that her hubby sent pix of his penis to a co-worker on the New York Jets. Deanna Favre says that she is "...handling this through faith."

Mrs. Favre was promoting a book about how to get past hard times and unhealthy behaviour patterns. The Sun groups Bill Lankhof suggests her better half should read the book.


2982...U of Ottawa's Jack Donohue Tourney This Weekend

Starts tonight at the U of Zero. Tronna, St. Francis Xavier and somebody else.

Games at 6 and 8 tonight and Saturday. Noon and 2 on Sunday.

Look for me in my St. Francis Xavier sombrero.


2981...Double Decker Busing In Ottawa

I am a bit of a rube, unsophisticated type so you gotta believe I was beside myself this morn when the OC Transpo bus I got on was a double decker.


I sat top deck, front seat, enthralled all the way from Elgin to the Riverside Health Centre.


Thursday, October 21, 2010

2980...Meanwhile Back In Toronto

Rob Ford's lead is evaporating/has evaporated.

The poll in today's Toronto Star has George Smitherman at 31 per cent and Mr. Ford at 30.

This is gonna be a fun race to watch Monday night.


2979...Mrs. Berlusconi Wants To Get Paid

Money. Honey. Or should I say ex honey.

Veronica Lario wants her soon to be ex to pay her large.

The Italian news agency ANSA says she wants 4.8 million dollars; that is 4,800,000.00. Not sure if it is Canuckbucks or USD but I do know it is a lot.

And it is per M O N T H.

You go girl!


2978...Col. Russ Williams' Pension

Our pandering and populist Prime Minister is making noise about taking away the monster Russ Williams', pyscho killer qu'est que c'est, pension.

No, no and no.

He paid into it and was a rising star in the military before he so spectacularly f"cked up.

Sorry, reallllll sorry, you did no catch him before he killed two and abused dozens but it is still his pension not yours.

Ca va?


2977...Brett Favre Back In Da News

This penis story just won't go away.

The Ottawa Sun's Bill Lankford reports today that yesterday Number 4 met with NFL officials. Problem for voyeurs like me is that Mr. Favre and Jenn Sterger and the NFL are being so circumspect about it all.

Not fair!


2976...I Love Blake Batson

But wot has he been smoking? Drinking? Injecting?

Today he endorsed Larry O'Brien for mayor today.

I will take that wager.


2975...Larry O'Brien Is Going On A Cruise

Hizzoner ain't conceding the Ottawa mayoralty race but he ain't no fool either.

On page three of the Ottawa Sun he announces that he is going on a cruise November 6.

'Not counting on a win' is the headline.


Wednesday, October 20, 2010

2974...Stephen Harper Solves Homelessness

Great guy our PM is. To solve the homelessness problem our beloved Prime Minister is throwing 2.1 billion dollars to create housing for the poor and oppressed.

He is using that money to build rooms for 4,600 new prisoners and is bringing in draconian laws to make sure that those who don't have the means can live on the government's dime.

Whatttttta guy.


2973...Homer And Bart Simpson Are RC

My friend Sherrie sends the clipping from last weekend's L'Obsevatore Vatican that The Simpsons are Catholics.

In my experience watching the FOX TV hit I haven't noticed the family going to church
or praying. Which makes them like most of us in Club RC: weddings and funerals.

Fair dinkum.


2972...Way To Go Tories

Six million more for sports.

It is widely reported that the Stephen Harpers are going to give our 76 medal winning Commonwealth athletes and our other national level jocks more coin.

Now it is time for corporate Canada to step up.


2971...Wear Purple Today


It is to show support for anti gay and anti bullying movements.

Is easy.


2970...The Obama Of Alberta

That is what Tory MP Rob Anders is calling Naheed Nenshi, the new mayor of Calgary.

In this morning's Globe and Mail he also called the new mayor a Liberal.

These comments, Mr. Anders was quick to point out, were not meant as a compliment.


Tuesday, October 19, 2010

2970...Is This In Brett Favre's Future?

110 000 000 dollar pay out for the missus.

That is what Deadspin says that Elin Nordictrack picked up from her ex, Tiger Woods.

Is this in Number 4's future?


2969...Richie Cunningham's Dad Dies

Tom Bosley, best known as Mr. C on the sit com Happy Days, has passed away.

He was 83.

The Beaver's mom will be waiting for him at the pearly gates.


2968...Mayoralty Candidate In Handcuffs

Facebook's newsfeed tells me that unbalanced Ottawa pol Jane Scharf is in cuffs at Carleton U as I write this.

A usual occurance.

Oy vey.


2966...Cat Lady Fined

Reuters reports, well, here is a cut and paste:

A British woman who sparked international outrage after CCTV film of her picking up a cat and dumping it in a rubbish bin was posted on the internet was fined 265 pounds ($420) for animal cruelty on Tuesday.

Mary Bale, 45, was also banned from keeping animals for five years after admitting causing unnecessary suffering to the cat, a four-year-old tabby called Lola.

Bale's home in Coventry, central England, was at one point put under police guard after her actions shocked animal lovers and even attracted death threats.

Lola was found unharmed by her owners Darryl Mann and his wife Stephanie, crying for help inside the bin about 15 hours after she had gone missing in August

Bale was traced after Mann, who had installed security cameras outside his house after vandals damaged his car, put footage of the incident on YouTube.

District judge Caroline Goulborn told Bale at Coventry Magistrates Court that she had taken into account that media interest in the case had led to the former bank worker being "vilified".

The court heard that that Bale, who had faced a maximum fine of 20,000 pounds or up six months' imprisonment, could provide no answer to why she had acted in such an "impulsive and irrational" way, the Press Association reported.

Bale's father, who died last week, was seriously ill at the time of the incident.

"I accept that you were in a stressful situation at the time, but that's no excuse for what you did," the judge said.

The Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (RSPCA) charity brought the prosecution against Bale and was awarded costs of 1,170 pounds.

"The cat in this case has been extremely lucky to come out unharmed and with no lasting injuries," said RSPCA inspector Nicky Foster.

After the hearing, Bale's lawyer said his client had been under "tremendous strain" and had since been diagnosed with depression.

He said she wanted to apologise for her actions and bitterly regretted what she had done.

This will not look good on the resume.


2965...Canada's First Muslim Mayor

In Calgary of all places.

The Calgary Herald
has the story and the story is that "Naheed Nenshi will be Calgary’s next mayor. The Mount Royal University professor and regular commentator on civic issues has built an insurmountable lead in the race for the mayor’s chair, with his two main challengers conceding defeat. With 203 of 241 polling stations reporting, Nenshi has a lead of more than 17,000 votes on Ric McIver (39 per cent of the vote versus 32 per cent), while third-place challenger Barb Higgins is far back (26 per cent). All other candidates are around one per cent or less in the polls."

How cool is that?


Monday, October 18, 2010

2964...Alberta: A Different World

Wait, let me get this straight. It's not OK to break someone's leg because you think they butted in line at the truck wash?

Geez Alberta is different.

reports that Garry Tasse, a longtime trucker, was waiting in a line with his big rig at Gear Jammer truck wash near 99 Street and 57 Avenue in Edmonton when he got into an argument with a group of men who claimed that he butted in the line around 1:30 p.m. Saturday.

Reports say "...the altercation with two men he described as east Asian then escalated, turning bloody." and resulted in the two men putting a beat down on Mr. Tasse culminating in them breaking his leg with a metal pipe.

Guess who won't be bumping into line anymore, like ever?


2963...I Even Have His Timeslot

Larry O'Brien that is. When he becomes a talker on CFRA.

Mornings. Just before Lowell Green.

And they will move Mark Sutcliffe to evenings, 7 to 10.


2962...Me On 93.1 Tuesday At 7 In The Morn

With Daniel Stringer, Blake Batson and a mystery guest.

7 to 9 tomorrow on the FM in the am.

Municipal politics.


2961...Priests In The News

As a good Catholic boy I find it brilliant that priests that were in my circles back in the day pop up in the news regularly.

The current example is Father Dale Crampton, late of St. Elizabeth's parish Ottawa, St. Maurice's parish Nepean and planet earth.

The pedophile priest, convicted of such, took a walk of a very tall building in the west end of your capital last week.


2960...Larry O'Brien Talkshow Host

Methinks that next week after Hizzoner gets his head handed to him in the Ottawa mayoralty election he will embark on a new career.

Radio talker.

On 580CFRA.


2959...1310 News Ottawa

Sounds good.


Long overdue but great.


Sunday, October 17, 2010

2958...Lloyd Axworthy Sells Out

Watching CBC National News and they had a story about Tory
minister Vic Toews getting an honourary degree from the University of Winnipeg.

The valedictorian, her name escapes me, spent some of her speech time attacking Mr. Toews' record. Seems fair, comes with the territory and Mr. Toews did not seem too vexed.

The person who was vexed was former Liberal minister (they are the good guys by the way) went on the news and castigated the valedictorian, saying that this was not the time or place for an anti Minister Toews.

Yeah well you are wrong mister. She had the biggest platform of her life and used it. She manned up, like you used to do when you were a liberal Liberal.


2957...Brett Favre's Johnson Comes Thru

In a must win game on Stephen Harper's fave net, FOX, Number 4 led his team in a comeback win over America's Team the Dallas Cowboys.

Carrie Underwood's ex, Tony Romo, played well for the 'boys but but but.

Wade Phillips wife is at the liquor store as you read this scoring boxes.


2956...Da Wheels Dey Be Falling Off

For Rob Ford. He is the retro mayoralty candidate in Toronto.

I seem to recall that he was up twenty plus points on Labour Day. Now Nanos tells that the race, a race that has shaken out Rocco Rossi, is now super close with Mr. Ford and George Smitherman are within the margin of error.

If Mr. Ford chokes it will remind many, including moi, of one Alex Munter's collapse on 2006.


2955...The Beaver Will Have To Wear A Tie

I guess by now Beaver Cleaver has a tie or two and he is going to need one this week when he pays respect to his TV mom Barbara Billingsley.

It is reported widely that the 94 year old actress has passed.

God bless her and keep her.


2954...Cowboys And Brett Favre

If you only have time for one NFL game today the one you wanna watch is the 4 15 hookup between the Vikings and the Cowboys.

Essentially both teams have their seasons on the lone today.

And if Number 4 sh@ts the bed it could be the end for Number 4.


Saturday, October 16, 2010

2953...Ottawa Is A City Of Cheapskates

Like you didn't know that.

Faces Magazine's Halloween survey found that over one in five of the residents of the capital don't get anything for trick or treaters.



2953...Big Ben Be Back

That would be Ben Rothelsberger er Roethlisberger who had a mild dose of Tiger Woods disease earlier this year and got slapped down by the NFL for his trouble.

My sources tell me that número sept is back tommorrow and the pickings should be easy coz his squad, the Pittsburgh Steelers, are playing their arch rivals the Cleveland Browns.

Go over.


2952...No Rape In Marriage

The Somosa, a blog,reports that Sheikh Maulana Abu
Sayeed who is President of the Islamic Sharia Council in Merry Ole says that "Clearly there cannot be any rape within marriage..."

Oy f&cking vey Jose.


2951...From Janitor To Saint

That is the path that Montrealer Brother Andre will have completed at 4 a.m. tommorrow morning when, as it is widely reported, Pope Benedict canonizes him.

The founder and builder of St. Joesph's Oratory in Notre Dame de Grace is the first Canuck in twenty years to become a saint.

It is rumoured that Big Bill, Number Four, Jean Beliveau, is next in line.


2950...I Was Sharing A Smoke W/My PT

That is my Personal Trainer of course and we were talking about how I could become a better me.

He sold me on a treadmill.

Apparently the better me is a me with a BMI under 100.

Just in case I got one with an emergency rip cord. The rip cord is just in case my
head or heart explodes while I am slimming down. Plus I hear they are brilliant for hanging wet socks to dry on.


Friday, October 15, 2010

2949...Irish Jokes

Who the f*ck tells Irish jokes?

Carl Palladino.

Who the fu@k is Carl Palladino?

He is Buffalo man who is the Republican candidate for governor of New York and John Hollingsworth sends me the link from Huffington Post that not only does he love Irish jokes and other non funny racist jokes but he is also fond of sending porn to his many friends in the Empire State.

Whatta guy.

Wonder if Rob Ford is consulting on the campaign?


2948...And A Reason To Get Drunk

Dan McTeague, the Liberal MP, is all over page three of The Ottawa Sun telling the sad story of gas prices rising.

And rising.

Apparently Ottawa prices are highest in Ontario and wholesale prices in Toronto are six/seven cents more than they should be.

The reason? Conservative supported monopolies and oligarchies.

Thank you Stephen Harper.


2947...Another Excuse To Drink

Tommorrow is world, er World Food Day.

This year's theme has something to do with being against hunger.

Think about it.


2947...All Is Well In Your Capital

The Senators finally won a game.

Last night.

Against Carolina.


2946...Ravens In The Nest

Tonight and Saturday night and Sunday afternoon it is the most sucessful college team of the century at home hosting their kick-off tourney, The House-Laughton.

Opponents will be the University of Victoria, University of Rob Ford and McGill.

McGill will be interesting coz their new coach is the University of Ottawa's old coach David D.

I will, of course, be there under the west basket with
my Ravens sombrero in its proper place.


Thursday, October 14, 2010

2943...Brett Favre's Gonads Meet Karma

WCCO TV, the TV station of record in Minneapolis-St. Paul has some video on their site of Brett Favre getting the football in the nads, hard, at practice today.

Karma one would think.

I would hope that Number 4's junk is as photogenic as it was during his days with the New York Jets.


2942...Ashley Madison Hits Merry Ole

England that is.

For those of you out of the loop of debaucery and devience, Ashley Madison is the website, developed by Canuckistanians I do believe, that gives adulterers a place to meet other adulterers. After establishing itself in Our Home And Native Land and the Thirteen Colonies The National Post tells all that AM is moving to England.

According to the article the Brits live to cheat on their spouses with 18 per cent of
married men and a quarter of married women dancing horizontally with one to whom they have not exchanged vows with.



2941...If Toronto Elects Rob Ford Mayor

And it sure looks that way in Toronto. I think that the new mayor of Ottawa, I am presuming Jim Watson will win, will have to meet with Mr. Ford right?

So here is what I am proposing: Mr. Watson should appoint perrennial mayoralty candidate Jane Scharf as a city to city ambassador to Toronto.

Mr. Ford is eccentric; Ms. Scharf meme chose. They speak the same language. Let her take the meeting.

Just a thought.


Wednesday, October 13, 2010

2940...Adam Lambert Not Jumping In Malaysia

Nor will he, he tells the Associated Press, kissing boyz or skipping onstage.

Frankly I understand the no kissing boyz thing, don't agree but understand, but no skipping? No jumping? May be my Koran is out of date.

The no jumping thing does explain the lack of Maylasians in the NBA.


2939...Failed QB Says Pink Footballs Suck

Tim Hasselbeck, who is married to ABC's uber right and uber hot (hey why are the Conversatve chicks such babes? Sarah Palin, Mara Carfagna, Eva Braun.) Elizabeth Hasselbeck, told ESPN's morning team of Mike and Mike that the balls with the pink ribbon for breast cancer are hated by the leagues key players.

Reasoning is sound: the balls are brand new and too slick/slippery to be thrown well.

If someone would check the turnover stats I would be obliged.


2938...Esquire Magazine Wrong

Close but wrong.

What I am referring to is their naming Minka Kelly the sexiest woman alive.


The Friday Night Lights ingenue is number two.

The Italian Minister Mara Carfagna is number one.

Both Esquire and the WFDS agree on number three:

Betty White.


2937...Liberals Are Bad For Canada

Best I can figure the reason that Canada did not
get a United Nation's Security Council seat: the Liberals.

Best I can figure that our deficit is 55
billion plus: the Liberals.

And you thought Tory propaganda did not work,


Tuesday, October 12, 2010

2936...I Love Hunting: It Culls The Herd

For example pheasant hunting season opened in North Dakota last weekend.

The Dickinson Press reports that six hunters shot six other hunters.

The pheasants were unharmed.


2935...The End Is Near For The WFDS

A little old lady gave up her seat on the bus for me.

Geez, and to think I think I look good.

End days.


2934...Told You So

Less than an hour ago The Ottawa Citizen broke that Oldies 1310 is going to flop to all news next Monday.

The only surprise is why it took so long.

Question: Will they have a talk show element like some of the Rogers newsers or be pure news like sister station 680 News?


2933...A Lion Roars

Overshadowed by Brett Farve's Johnson was the news that for the first time since the George W. Bush administration the Detroit Lions, also beloved in WIndsor, won a game, beating the St. Louis Rams by about a million points.

This Sunday coming they be in Jersey to play the New York Giants.

Not good for George Plimpton's former team.


2932...Brett Farve's Penis: Results

Did a pretty good job last night against the New York Jets.

Did not win nor did it cover the spread but it was there, going down 29 to 20.

No photos were made avail after the game, at least for public consumption.


2931...Panic In Ottawa

Is it the fact that over 10 per cent of out country cannot find work?


Is it the fact that we are mired in a war no one understands in a land that we care nothing about?


The palpable panic in your capital is due to the fact that the Kanata Senators of the NHL are winnless after 3 games.


Monday, October 11, 2010

2931...Tic Tock Re Da Big Game

The Brett Favre Penis Bowl.


2930...Make Your Move Mister

That be you Stephen Harper.


2928...How Do You Like Me Now?

Carey Price, the Montreal Canadiens goalie should make that
Toby Keith song his own.

Buried and dumped on in the preseason, Mr. Price has looked like a number one goalie in the Habs first two games allowing only five buts and getting a W.

Ah, fame is fickle and it is back for Mr. Price.


2927...Now Say It

Happy Turkey Day.

Gobble, gobble.

Sounds a bit dirty, eh?


2926...Sandie RInaldo And Brett Farve

Tonite on the CTV National News.

You know it is a big story when it is sandwiched between Chilean miners and a Stephen Harper photo op.

Happy BIrthday Mississippi man.


2925...PInk Is My Fave Colour

For true.

But enough already with the pink in the NFL and NCAA footie.

Too much.


Sunday, October 10, 2010

2924...New News Voice In 0ttawa

Looks that way. Doug Hempstead at The Ottawa Sun reported the other day that Oldies 1310 blew out their only on air personality, Brother Bob Derro and announced something something was happening to the station Tuesday.

That something will be 1310News.

The fly in the ointment is that the 1310 signal sucks. Badly.

Most all news stations/information stations/full service stations are flamethrowers. CKOB, 680News, CFRA, WGN, CKLW, WBBM, WBZ, WABC, WCBS, CHED, KFYR and on and on.

1310 rien.


Saturday, October 9, 2010

2922...Guess Who Is Turning 41 Sunday?


Number 4.

Brett Farve.

I hear he wants a new cell phone.



2922...May Be It Was Brett Farve tells the story of a flasher in a 99 cent store in Torrance, Cali, on September 5th of this year who grabbed a woman shopper's butt and then showed her his penis.

Again that move never works.

Detectives say other shoppers witnessed the incident. "They're hoping someone recognizes the man and can help identify him. He was wearing a distinctive black and silver-studded choker with a skull and crossbones. He is described as a white or Latino man in his 20s, 5'7" to 5'9" tall, weighing about 170 to 180 pounds. He also had a shaved head."

Probably not number 4.


2921... .1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10

Those are Katherine Platt's Keno numbers.











The Daily Telegraph tells that her "...husband always said to me, 'What are you doing playing those numbers? They will never come up' but it looks like today was my day."

Lucky enough that the suburban Sydney, Oz woman is getting a quarter of this weeks 2.15 million dollar jackpot.












2920...Coalition Government

I read somewhere today that our beloved Prime Minister and future Calgary Real Estate salesman Stephen Harper is in Alberta sowing seeds of fear about a coalition government.


Just call the election and take your licks buddy.


2919...Good Neighbours In North Dakota

They must exist. May be I will Facebook my buddy Nate Phillippe who is coaching hoop in the Peace Garden State. I hope he doesn't live next door to Kevin Gienger of Kensal.

WDAY TV reports that last weekend Mr. Gienger allegedly castrated a neighbour's pure bred poodle. Mr. Gienger told The Associated Press that the dog was running wild in the neighborhood and causing a nuisance.

Not a good neighbour.


2918...More News From Down Under

Not Australia fool, your down under. You know, where your junk is. Not fun to look at but ever so important. And deadly if you don't take care.

The Ottawa Sun the other day had a piece about the fact that it is important for you to look below the belt for cancers. My buddy Luke Rochefort of St. Louis Bar and Grill on Elgin Street in Ottawa checked his self out down under this spring, found something something and is now is both fighting cancer and publicizing the fact that you, hombre, have to step up and check your self.

The Sun says that the best time to check your testicles is just after a bath or shower and that if you do it everytime you will notice changes in your 'nads.

Do it.

The life you save will be your own.


2917...Little Sh*t In The News

There are rules for us and rules for them.

Them is the Tories.

The rule that says you have to wait to get through security when going to an office on Parliament Hill, they are for us.

Postmedia reported earlier this week that Nepean-Carleton Member and rising Conservative star Pierre Pollievre decided that the line was not moving fast enough for a man as important as he Tuesday morning so instead of waiting behind a delivery truck driven by one of the dirty proles that make up our country he pushed the button that let him past security and onto his important task of f*cking up the country.

Stephen Harper's spokesman Andrew MacDougall downplayed the incident, pointing out that "When they say security breach it's not like he smuggled in explosives or something." Except A/he could have and B/that ain't the point Mr. MacDougall.


2916...No Miranda In Canada

In a ruling that should make any Conservative, National Socialist and Stalinist rejoice the Supreme Court of Democratic Soviet Canuckistan has said that you can call a lawyer to chat if you get busted by the police but fergetabout having her in the room with you while they question you.

You know that Vic Toews is doing a little dance to this ruling.

I do believe that the Stephen Harpers would be happier in a different time, the late '30s, early 40's, and a different place, Germany.


Friday, October 8, 2010

2915...More Penis Related News

The Canadian Press reporting from the Commonwealth Games:

NEW DELHI - Mike Fennell has had to endure lengthy grilling over poor attendance, food quality, the state of venues and transportation problems at these Commonwealth Games.

On Thursday, the president of the Commonwealth Games Federation had a question of a different sort. And he handled it with aplomb.

Asked whether he could respond to newspaper reports that used condoms were blocking toilets at the athletes village, Fennell said: "I think that is a very positive story that athletes are being responsible."

He said that the issue had been controversial in the past "but promoting safe sex is a very responsible thing to do."

Dumb jocks. You supposed to wear them.


2914...My New Religion

The Church of Body Modification.

The Associated Press runs with a story about 14 year old Ariana Iacono from Clayton High School in North Carolina has been suspended by the school coz she has a little bit of a nose piercing.

Lawyers have been notified on both sides.


2913...Brett Farve's Penis

Apparently Mr. Senior Citizen Quarterback was crushing on Jenn Sterger, a Jet's sideline reporter, back when he played for the New York-New Jersey Jets. reports that in an attempt to seal the deal Number Four sent an email of his penis to Miss Sterger.

That never works by the way.


2912...Double Down In Canuckistan


QMI tells us that KFried, my fave restaurant, is rolling out its infamous breadless chicken sandwich, all 1,740 mgs of sodium, 30 grams of fat and 540 calories before ketchup, is coming to a Canuckistanian KFC near me.

Love it.


Thursday, October 7, 2010

2911...Pigs In Hogtown Monday

Read this in the Edmonton Journal:

One lane of a busy Toronto highway reopened Monday afternoon after being closed for more than 10 hours so emergency crews could corral dozens of pigs onto a truck.

About 235 swine were being transported on a tractor-trailer when it flipped over on a ramp that links Highway 427 to the Gardiner Expressway around 4:30 a.m. Monday.

Nearly two dozen pigs were killed upon impact or euthanized as a result of the accident, said OPP Const. Graham Williamson.

Cleaning up the highway was taking longer than expected. In addition crews had to wait for inspectors with the Canadian Food Inspection Agency to assess all the pigs before the highway could be fully reopened.

The 26-year-old driver of the vehicle has been charged with careless driving. He was not injured in the collision.

I suppose that this mishap now makes both the 427 and the Gardiner non kosher, eh?


2910...Ottawa Mayoralty Debate On AChannel

Again, with Andy Haydon.

No literature.

No signs.

No website.

A blog

Mr. Haydon is just in the race to suck vote from his arch enemy Larry O'Brien the current mayor and his ex employer.


Still the best system.


2909...Pat Burns: Still Not Dead

Geez, when this guy actually does die, and we are all going to die, just he is going to die sooner than most of us, no one will believe it.

He is Pat Burns, former coach of the Bruins de Boston, Habs de Montreal and Leafs du Toronto. Plus a Stanley Cup turn with the New Jersey Devils and three coach of the year awards. Wednesday he was in Stanstead, Quebec where Postmedia reports that "People cried and hugged...during a groundbreaking ceremony for an arena named after Pat Burns, which reunited the former NHL coach with friends and former players." Although Mr. Burns did not speak he did quip that "I’m still alive".

Prayers all around.


2908...Classic Hockey Tonight

Montreal Canadiens.

Toronto Maple Leafs.

From the ACC.

The Hockey Night in Canada: NHL Face-Off at 6:30. Ron MacLean for a special pre-game show before the Toronto Maple Leafs home game versus the arch-rival Montreal Canadiens.

And Don Cherry between periods one and two.

Life is renewed on opening day.


Wednesday, October 6, 2010

2907...93.1 THursday. 8 to 930 am

Me on the wireless.

With popstar Lynne Hanson.

8 to 930.


2906...Baseball Playoffs Start Today

It is down to eight, four in the senior circuit and four in the American League.


And, thankfully, no Red Sox.


2905...Semrau A Civillian Now Lowell Green Vexed

For those who don't know Mr. Green he is a long time talker at CFRA in Ottawa, the heritage news station.

Today he is vexed about what happened to Captain, er Second Lieutenant, he was busted before he was cashiered by the Canadian Army, Robert Semrau.

The story has been widely reported but I will review. On the battlefield in the far away land of Afghanistan the then Captain murdered a severely wounded and unarmed Taliban fighter after a firefight in Helmand province two years ago.

The Canadian Press reported that "Witnesses testified Semrau fired two shots into the wounded insurgent and told them he wanted to put the man out of his misery." Couple of obvious problems with that, first one being that the enemy soldier was a man, not a dog. The second is that, as the man who sentenced Second Lieutenant Semrau, Lt.-Col. Jean-Guy Perron, said "How can we expect our soldiers to follow the laws of war if our officers do not?"


2904...What Superpowers Would You Want?

That was the last question of the big mayoralty debate in your nation's capital last night.

The Ottawa Citizen reports that Clive Doucet, who looks to be the man who is going to finish fourth in the race, would like to be Spiderman coz that is his grandson's favourite. Jim Watson, the man who will be mayor in less than three weeks said that he would like the power to heal. Andrew Haydon, who is running for mayor coz he hates Larry O'Brien, said he could not top Mr. Watson's answer.

But the best answer came from the current Hizzoner, Larry O'Brien. In a statement that proves yet again that he has no clue, Mr. O'Brien said that the superpower that he would like would be "The power to keep people from talking."

Beauty, eh?


Tuesday, October 5, 2010

2903...Ottawa Water Is Crunchy

That has got to be it.

It is the crunchy water that makes the political types say silly things and think that we will believe them.

To wit: In today's Ottawa Citizen the Mayor of your capital, Larry O'Brien, who is about a dozen points behind Jim Watson in the polls, "...apologized to Ottawa residents for being such a disaster in his first two years, and pleaded for a second chance, saying he has learned from his mistakes. In an unprecedented mea culpa, O’Brien told the Citizen editorial board that while he can’t say he is the worst mayor ever — because he doesn’t know all of them and their records, he said — he was 'pretty bad' in his first two years. For that, he is very sorry."

Got my vote then.



2902...When The Wind Howls Let Them Eat Pucks

A pointed piece that is to the point in Tasha Kheiriddin's signed editorial in this morning's National Post about Quebec City's want/need for an NHL team and the big barn to keep it in.

When asked why the private sector wouldn't build an arena, Mr. Labeaume [Mayor of Quebec City] admitted, without apology, " Ce n'est pas rentable." (It's not profitable). But, he went on to say, the arena is something everyone agrees on, " Ils le veulent" (the people want it) -- and so the government should give it to them.

Hmm. Actually, the Quebec people want many things. These include hospitals without an average 24-hour emergency room wait or high schools without an average 30%dropout rate. But those seem to take a back seat to bread and circuses these days, especially when Premier Jean Charest's latest approval rating stagnates at 25%. What's $175-million in provincial tax dollars for a new colisee, complete with moat, but missing a tenant?

Then in a dozen or so years when the team flees for Kitchener or Albany or Seattle at least they will have a warm place to keep political prisoners in La Capitale.


2901...Then There Is Martin Regg Cohn

Who, unlike Margaret Atwood and Ezra Levant, is a lover of freedom of speech and understands that you must allow those who do not agree with you that right too.

Cray zee.

He leads his story on the op ed page of today's Toronto Star with this: "We don't do fatwas in Canada. We just ban people. Or shut them down. Our Conservative government is so fearful of free speech (one of those values we're supposedly defending in Afghanistan) that it keeps banishing feisty voices."

In Stephen Harper's [and Mr. Levant's and Miss/Mrs./Ms. Atwood's Home And Native Land] Canada only group think, think like the big C group that is, is allowed.

"The latest victim of ministerial muzzling is Imam Zijad Delic, the head of the Canadian Islamic Congress, who was disinvited from a conference yesterday at National Defence headquarters. Last year, British firebrand George Galloway was scared off by border officials at the behest of a Conservative cabinet minister."

Big diff of course is Mr. Delic is Canuckistanian, Mr. Galloway, not so much. The Stephen Harpers are not just hating the other they are also hating ourselves.

Methinks the Stephen Harpers would have loved Germany, late '30s, early '40s.


2900...Shut Up Ezra Levant

I guess the little sh*t from Calgary is trying to curry favour with Margaret Atwood or something.

He is all over the Sun's today with an op ed piece that, in reference to George Galloway, the British lefty pol that my country refused entry to last year and let in last weekend, refers to Mr. Galloway as a "Publicity hound that should never have been allowed into Canada."

Pot meet kettle; kettle, pot.


Monday, October 4, 2010

2899...Finally: Free Trade With Mongolia

Sure it will affect our culture, may even overwhelm it, but the economic gains are well worth it.

It, of course, is free trade with Mongolia.

Last Tuesday our beloved Prime Minister Stephen Harper hosted Mongolian Prime Minister Sükhbaatar Batbold for a bilateral meeting in , where they launched the early stages of free trade talks.

Actually our country and Mongolia have, as Bill Curry pointed out in last week's Globe and Mail, have a lot in common: mineral rich smallish nations that share borders with big motherf*ckers.

This is a tremendous opportunity for us to export our cold weather technology to our new partners when we do partner.


2898...Quebec Gets Its Apology

Rogers, who own Macleans who said bad things about Quebec, i.e. that the province is a bit sleazy, has apologized.

The Montreal Gazette reports that the day after Premier Charest send Rogers a letter b*tching about being b*tch slapped La Belle was apologized to by Rogers Publishing who sent a letter of regret.

Of course as anyone who has been to Quebec, the place where the unthinkable happens on a regular basis, it is all a big pile of posturing bullsh*t.



2897...Harper Asks For Clemency In Montana

Robert Smith of Alberta has been on death row in the Big Sky state since 1983. That is like for freaking ever, a special type of death itself and he may die sooner rather than later.

The Canadian Press reports that Mr. Smith "...was convicted in 1983 for the shooting deaths of two young Montana men while he was high on drugs and alcohol. Smith originally requested the death penalty but later changed his mind and has been fighting ever since to keep from being executed. Next month the U-S Supreme Court is expected to rule on whether to hear his final appeal. If the court says no to the appeal, it will likely be left to Montana Governor Brian Schweitzer to decide whether Smith lives or dies."

Our beloved Prime Minister has asked the Governor to offer clemency to Mr. Smith who, if he had of been convicted in Canada, would most likely be a free man by now.

Governor Schweitzer is stuck between a rock and a hard place, with the Canadian government pleading for clemency and the families of Mr. Smith's innocent victims taking a different tack.



You gotta be f**ing kidding.

The team did not leave Quebec City for Denver coz they were making too much money, eh?

Heck the year they were on the verge of leaving they did not even sell out their playoff games which was the tipping point that shot them south and west to the Mile High City.

Enough already. Blue or not, 100k or not, the reason that no one, and I am talking to you P.K., from the private sector has stepped up with the half a billion it will take to secure an arena and a team is coz it is a bad deal.


2895...I Wear My Sunglasses At Night

Corey Hart.

Sampled yet again, this time in a stateside Miller Lite commercial.

How many houses has that song bought Westmount's Mr. Hart?


2894...This Is Our Vietnam

Tim Naumetz in The Hill Times types that "Canada's Veterans Ombudsman Pat Stogran says psychologically and physically disabled Canadian veterans of the Afghanistan war face the same neglected fate that thousands of U.S veterans of the Vietnam War experienced unless Canada radically changes its attitude to care for former soldiers."

Our Vietnam.

Which, on the plus side, means we will have some pretty cool movies coming out of the Great White North in the next ten, twenty years.


2893...Me On The Radio

In theory anyhow, Tuesday, that is tomorrow morning for those of you coming off a bender, 93.1CKCU.

I will be, in theory, chatting with Capital Ward Candidate Isabel Metcalfe, Kitchississippi Candidate Daniel Stringer and my buddy Blake Batson.

7 to 9 am tommmmmmmmorrrrrrrow.


Friday, October 1, 2010

2892...Your Government In Action

Reported Case for 2009-2010
It was alleged a Public Works and Government Services Canada employee falsely claimed, through the Public Service Health Care Plan, expenses for the employee's pet. An investigation confirmed the employee had in fact submitted claims. This allegation therefore was founded. The employee has since paid back the amount that was paid out (less than $100).

See for yourself:

I love this country.