Sunday, January 31, 2010

1660...Super Bowl Preview

The big game is next Sunday and ESPN has ranked the 106 players involved in the beeg game.

Bad news for the underdog Saints: out of the top six, five, including Peyton Manning, are from the Indy Colts.

Could be a long day for New Orleans.

WFDS

1659...Cops, Bangles And Donut Shops

Remember the 80's girl band The Bangles?

One of their songs, I think it was Walk Like An Eygptian, had the line "...and all the cops are in the donut shoppes..."
If they were doing the song now they would have to change the line to "...and all the cops are in the coffee shoppes..."

I have been in a coffee shop on Elgin in Ottawa for the last hour and their have been nine uniforms and four plain clothes roll through the store.

A cultural shift for certain.

WFDS

1658...Hockey And Porn

I am, as usual, a day late.

This is off the Phoenix Craigslist:

Hi I am THE Katie Michaels as seen in Hustler's barely Legal 100 and other fine
adult films.

I recently attended a Cardinals playoff game with a happy football
fan and now you have the chance to take me to see the Rangers Saturday night to
play against our Phoenix Coyotes.

Yes it stinks that Carcillo got traded but
look at how good we are doing without Gretzky behind the bench!

Anyways, if you
would like to see the game with me I have two lower level seats (one for me one
for you) and for $500 we will both go and have a great time.

Check me out on http://www.katiemichaels.net/ and hit me up with your phone number by replying to this posting so that I can make the necessary arrangements.

First fan gets to have me and since there is only one of me don't wait

.

Beauty, eh?

And Miss Michaels takes a nice shot at Wayne Gretzky; spoken like a true fan.

WFDS

1657...Who Is Going To Light The Torch?

The Olympic Torch.

Gary Mason in yesterday's Globe and Mail speculated that it would be either Terry Fox' mother or number 99.

I am leaning towards Wayne Gretzky.

For starters, he is better known than Mr. Fox' mama.

Secondly he has scored the Canuckistanian hat trick:

Hockey star.
Married a Playboy model.
Lives in Cali.

WFDS

1656...Speaking Of Local TV

I turn on FOX 2 Detroit at 9 30 Sunday morning and they are running local news.

Connected to the community.

The local Canuck stations, not so much.

WFDS

1655...You Would Think 238 Pounds In The Trunk

...would give you better traction.

The news from KQRE-TV, a local TV station in New Mexico [you remember local TV, don't you?] runs with this snowy story:

Tracks in the snow leading from a crashed car to the nearby bridge overpass
on New Mexico's I-40 just didn't look right to officers.

State police say that officers patrolling the stretch near Tucumcari
Saturday found that 40-year-old Henry Alan of El Paso had lost control of his
sedan and crashed into a snow pile.

Then they noticed tracks leading back and forth from the trunk to the
bridge.

They allege that partially hidden under the overpass were large plastic
wrapped bundles and inside was 238 pound of marijuana.

Police say that Lowe was arrested and treated for a gash to the head.


This wouldn't happen in Timmins; drivers are too goodly.

WFDS

1654...Nine In A Row For The Sens

Stick that in your pipe and smoke it Toronto.

Montreal.

Detroit.

Buffalo.

Etcetera.

And so on.

Lord Stanley, is that is you knocking at the door?

WFDS

Saturday, January 30, 2010

1653...U. S. Customs Saves Puppy

Heroes in New York saved a young doggie's life a week ago today.

The New York Daily News reports that a puppy found in a popsicle like state in a jet's cargo bay at JFK Airport was revived by customs officers who performed mouth-to-snout resuscitation, officials said Thursday.

The 6-week-old pooch was clinging to life when it arrived cold as a cucumber in the Apple last Saturday on a commercial flight from sunny Mexico.

Another puppy packed in the same portable kennel in the pressurized cargo bay died during the flight.

WFDS

1652...Thank You Captain Obvious

In a ground breaking story, CNN's Ric Romero reports people use more coupons when they have less money.

Coupon use in America is up 27 per cent for 2009 when compared to the previous year. "The rise in coupon use started in October 2008 as bailouts and layoffs consumed the United States, leaving households frustrated and looking for ways make ends meet."

Imagine.

Next week Mr. Romero plans to go for the Pulitzer Prize by breaking news that shoppers prefer lower prices.

WFDS

1651...Interesting Technique Loser

The Daily Mail, one of the most respected fish wraps in Merry Ole, reports that 61 year old Stephen Barker, a hypnotist, was helping people lose weight but in a very unconvential way, a way that got him slapped into jail Friday.

Mr. Barker began treating the 31-year-old victim for weight loss confidence issues in October 2008. His style, which he charged between 40 and 80 pounds sterling a session for, was unique.

It started by asking about her sex life while she was hypnotised.

Over a series of ten weekly sessions the married wanna be Kreskin became increasingly suggestive, telling her to remove her top and touch her own breasts.

Finally he asked her to remove her top and fondled her breast, before pulling down her trousers and putting his hand in her knickers on December 18 2008, the court heard.

The shocked woman snapped out of the trance and fled the scene at his practice feeling 'ashamed and embarrassed'.

No word on how much weight she shed.

WFDS

1650...Russell Barth Is Sad

Not this second but he will be after he reads this set of scribbles.

Azfamily.com from the sunny state of 'zona runs with this story:

TUBAC - Police pulled over a truck containing approximately $400,000 worth
of marijuana about 35 miles south of Tucson on Wednesday.

The Arizona Department of Public Safety issued a press release today
detailing the incident, in which some 743 pounds of marijuana were removed from
a septic tank on the vehicle on I-19 near of Tubac, Ariz.

According to the press release, a DPS officer pulled the truck over at
about 4:00 p.m. after noticing the vehicle was displaying invalid license
plates. Upon searching the vehicle, the officer found bales of marijuana packed
into the truck's holding tank.

The truck's driver, Leonard Salcido, 24, of Tucson, was booked into Santa
Cruz County Jail on charges of possession of marijuana, possession of marijuana
for sale and transportation of marijuana for sale.

DPS Canine and Hazardous Materials units helped with the
investigation.

Sh*tty, eh?

WFDS

1649...Russel Barth May Move To Oakland

Ottawa's own prince of pot, er, Prince of Pot, may want to move to Oakland, California after reading this.

NPR, that's National Public Radio, CBC with more hippies, reaches out to the WFDS and Mr. Barth with this story:

To The
San Francisco Chronicle
it's the "Walmart of Weed."
One might also
say it's the "Home Depot of High Times". Or maybe the "Best Buy of Buds". How
about the "Target of THC"?
As The Oakland
Tribune
reports
, iGrow -- a 15,000-square-foot superstore -- is now
open for business in Oakland. Its "shelves are stocked with various types of
grow lights, fans, plant nutrients and additives, and growing containers" for
"medical marijuana patients who want to grow their own cannabis plants."

Weird dichotomy in the United States of A in that they have this war on drugs on at warp speed combined with, in many states, this leniency towards those who need marijuana for medical reasons.

Or get a note from a cool doctor.

C'est bizarre.

WFDS

1648...Smiling Bob's Nomination Meeting

Is tomorrow.

Look for me in my Liberal Red Sombrero.

Bob Chiarelli, of course, was mayor of your capital for almost and decade and if he had of been elected instead of that Irish fellow, Larry O'Brien, I would be taking a train to work every morning instead of rubber tired transit.

He is running for MPP in Ottawa West-Nepean and when elected he will surely be at Dalton McGuinty's cabinet table.

Please join me and hundreds of friends of the community at his nomination meeting Sunday, one o'clock at Algonquin College. It is going to be in Salon A of Building D. The Gonk is at Baseline and Woodroffe, just behind the box stores.

WFDS

1647...Simon Cowell Offered A Pay Raise

To 100 million, that is 100,000,000.00, dollars a year.

Plus, presumably, benefits.

From www.splashnews.com comes this piece:

Music boss Simon Cowell was offered $100 million to stay on American Idol but said "there is more to life than money".

The 50-year-old star recently revealed he will step down from his position as a judge on the hit US talent show at the end of the current series.

His friend and fellow Britain's Got Talent judge Piers Morgan, 44, has told how the star was offered a large sum to return but turned it down.

Morgan said to UK's Live magazine: "I've rarely seen Simon look so relaxed and happy. He's finally concluded his deal to leave American Idol and launch The X Factor in the States, and the relief of now being able to control every aspect of every show he stars in is obvious.

"And to all those who say he's only interested in money, I can confirm that he was offered $100 million to stay on American Idol - and declined. 'There is more to life than money, Piers,' sighed Simon."



It seems to me that the only people who have the luxury to say that money isn't important are people who have money.

Bags of money.

WFDS

Friday, January 29, 2010

1646...Corus AM Montreal Ghandi

As of ten this morning AM690 and AM940 stopped programming; as of 7 tonite they will be dark.

The loop running presently on both says that because of the economy etc. they cannot make a go of it.

Oy freaking vey.

Especially 690, an amazing signal. Run brokered programming and Jesus shows 24/7 and you will make a mint.

This is insane.

This would not happen in a market of four, five million in the Lower Forty Eight; to paraphrase Lord Thomson of Fleet, radio is a license to make money.

How can you mess that up Corus?

Oy freaking vey, V.2.

This is like the local TV bullsh*t: the thesis seems to be that the way you make money is by offering less, the opposite of more, local programming and somehow that will make money and if you are really in a jam the best way to make money is to close the store.

Am I the only one that sees the folly in this?

WFDS

1645...He Is Tightening His Grip

Prime Minister Stephen Harper is.

This morning he added five more Senators to the Senate for Team Blue giving him, more or less, control of both houses.

The new Tory cash-for-lifers are:

Former Ontario cabinet minister Bob Runciman; Ontario businessman Vim Kochhar; victim's rights activist Pierre Huges-Boisvenu from La Belle; Elizabeth Marshall, former provincial auditor general, will rep Newfoundland and Labrador and; Rose-May Poirier who is a current MLA in New Brunswick.

CBC.ca reports that this is the third time in a bit over a year that our beloved PM has loaded the Senate with supporters. Thirty two new Senators in all.

T H I R T Y T WO.

WFDS

1644...Stephen Harper To Name Five To Senate

Mr. Elected, Effective Senate is appointing five to the Red Chamber today.

I stayed up all night waiting for the call.

For many K a year I would pull a Mike Duffy and switch teams.

WFDS

1643...Hoop In Ottawa Tonight

Both the fifth ranked U of Zero Gee Gees and the number 2 Carleton Ravens are in town this weekend.

The teams that will be playing our local boyz are the Ryerson University Rams and the University of Toronto Blues.

Ottawa plays at Mont Petit Hall, on campus; Carleton is also on campus in Alumni Hall.

Gametimes both Friday and Saturday are six for the women and eight for the men.

Look for me at Carleton with my U of K sombrero proudly on my head.

WFDS

1642...How About Them Sens

8 and freaking Oh baby in their last eight games.

Lord Stanley is coming home.

Yessssssssssssssssssss.

WFDS

Thursday, January 28, 2010

1641...John Hinkley Is Sad

WCBSTV2, a local [you remember local TV, don't you] TV station in the Big Apple reports, with files from the Associated Press that the moron who shot John Lennon's fave author, J. D. Salinger, has passed. He died of natural causes at his home in Cornish, New Hampshire.

The reclusive author of The Catcher In The Rye was 91.

As usual he was not available for comment.

WFDS

1640...My Name Is Earl

Life imitates art and not in a fun way.

A story familiar to fans of the old NBC sitcom My Name Is Earl happened to Deborah McDonald of Sandusky, Ohio recently.

Win lotto; get hit by car.

Direct from the pages of the Sandusky Register comes this:

SANDUSKY, Ohio -- Authorities say a woman who had been out celebrating her winnings in the Ohio Lottery was killed when she was struck by a car.

The Ohio Highway Patrol says Deborah McDonald of Crystal Rock had just left a bar in north-central Ohio and was walking along a road last night when she was hit.

A spokeswoman for the Ohio Lottery says McDonald won $8,000 in the lottery's TV game show Cash Explosion Double Play.

The show was taped Jan. 12 and is set to air at the end of the month.

Patrons at a tavern near Sandusky say McDonald was with a group that had been celebrating her winnings and playing pool last night.

Patrol Sgt. Joe Wentworth says they are looking into whether alcohol was a factor, but they don't think the driver of the car was drinking.

WFDS


1639...How About Dem Senators

The only successful NHL hockey team in Ontario, the Ottawa Senators, will be going for 8 in a row ce soir against Pittsburgh in the city of bridges.

Lord Stanley may be coming home after all.

Been too long.

WFDS

1638...How About Dem Ravens

Re: Capital Hoops Classic.

This headline never gets old: Ravens Win.

WFDS

1637...The Stephen Harpers Cannot Pull Away

I must admit that the Canadian political scene these days is very Olympian. In a Special sort of way.

To that end, neither of the two big teams, Team Blue and Team Red, seems to be able to mount a rally, go on a run, apply the finishing touches.

CBC.ca today reports that the two major parties in Canada [no, not you Jack Layton; ditto my Facebook friend Elizabeth May] are in a dead heat with 31.6 per cent of us supporting the Michael Ignatieff's and 31.1 per cent of us supporting the Stephen Harper's.

WFDS

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

1636...State Of Their Union

In a lot of respects, you may discuss this at your Super Bowl party if you wish, as the United States goes so do we.

In that vein let's keep an ear out for President Barack Obama's second State of the Union address.

Political website www.huffingtonpost.com has this information for those of you that won't be totally into the Capital Hoops Classic:

The State of the Union Address for 2010 is slated to start at 9 p.m. Eastern Time and 6 p.m. Pacific Time on Wednesday, Jan. 27, 2010.

President Barack Obama's speech will likely clock in at just under an hour based on previous years. His address was 51 minutes last year and no State of the Union Address has gone more than an hour since 2000, when President Bill Clinton spoke for an hour and a half.

The State of the Union Address will air on major television news networks.

It can also be watched online at WhiteHouse.gov.

The Huffington Post will also be carrying extensive live coverage of the event, including instant Twitter reaction and analysis.

There you go.

Iffen you want you may make it into a drinking game: every time President Obama says "America" take a shot of Wild Turkey.

Good luck on that.

WFDS



1635...This Be New To Me

I just came across a new TV technique, one that seems really cool, of transiting viewers from one show to another.

I was watching The Soprano's on A&E and what they do, and this is new to me at the least, is run the credits from the Soprano's over the opening tease on CSI Miami. This could hook the slacker in me to at least sample the first quarter hour of CSI.

Well, it has.

WFDS

1634...A**hole Of The Century

Any and all centuries.

His name is Terry Naugle and he is featured on page A4 of today's Globe and Mail.

He is not a politician, he is not a an adulterer, he is not even a proper criminal.

What Mr. Naugle is is a drunken a**hole. Mr. Naugle has been convicted 36 times for drinking and driving. But, because he "...has never killed or seriously injured anyone...He has never face a charged that carried a possible 10-year sentence..."

The New Brunswick one man crime wave will get another three years in jail, walk in 18 months and do it all over again.

I am not a big law and order guy, a hang 'em high guy but thirty six freaking sentences, c'mon motherf*cker.

WFDS

1633...PETA, The Grits And Mindelle Jacobs

The Sun papers, Kingston Whig-Standard etc. ran an signed editorial today by Mindelle Jacobs about the Honourable Gail Shea's PETA pieing yesterday and neither of them come out well in her piece.

She opens with a strong statement: "It's hard to know who to scold first; PETA for pieing Fisheries Minister Gail Shea or Newfoundland Grit MP Gerry Byrne for suggesting it was an act of terrorism?"

She goes on to point out that the thrust of PETA's modus operandi is to publicize PETA and, coz baby seals are cute and the people who hunt them are not, they are an easy target.

"The prank simply cemented PETA's reputation as an organization blinded by self-righteousness."

Miss Jacobs goes on to write that "Suggesting that the federal government investigate this pieing incident as possible terrorism is the loopiest thing an MP has said in a long time.

Politicians and PETA should know that passion without reason falls flat with the public. Just like that tofu pie."

WFDS


1632...Capital Hoops Classic

The big game for basketball fans, the biggest non hockey sports event in Ottawa, takes place tonight at Scotia Bank Place.

It is the MBNA Capital Hoops Classic pitting the defending national champions and number two ranked Carleton Ravens versus the University of Ottawa Gee Gees, ranked fifth in Canada in the featured game. The opening match is between the women's teams at both schools, teams that are not in the top ten nationally but both are strong contenders to go to the nationals in Hamilton.

Now if you want to go to the game you are in luck; although the crowd will be around 9,000, the room is big so there will be a lot of tix avail. Plus, bonus, the game is on TV if you have Rogers Cable in Ottawa. Channel 22, tape delayed.

Game time is six for the women; eight for the men.

Look for me, right up front, in my black and red Carleton Ravens sombrero.

WFDS

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

1631...Why Didn't I Think Of This Angle?

Direct from Dawg's Blog at http://drdawgsblawg.blogspot.com/:


Rideau Hall strikes a blow













Conrad Black, convict. Gave up his Canadian citizenship. Plundered a newspaper empire. Rich.

Keeps his Order of Canada.














Steve Fonyo, convict. Proud Canadian. Raised $13 million for charity. Poor.

Stripped of his medal.

Nice to see the Governor-General keeping the lower orders in their place. But just to avoid future unpleasantness, why not just institute a property qualification for the OoC?


WFDS

1630...93.1 Wed Morn'

My good friend Blake Batson joins me for the full hour between six and seven.

Also in studio is local theatre director Charles McFarland who, in conjunction with Third Wall Theatre in Ottawa will be doing As You Like It, a Shakespeare play but doing it with a WWE twist.

May just have the former pro wrestler, footie star and pro hockey player Glenn Kulka on the phone. Mr. Kulka takes a dramatic turn in the play which will be at the Great Canadian Theatre Company first week of February.

Tickets are available through capitaltickets.ca.

Wake up avec moi, a demain. 93.1CKCU.

And may be Tic, er, tic, will be finished sulking about me having a dog and will join us.

Fingers crossed.

WFDS

1629...Steve Fonyo Stripped Of Order Of Canada

He is now an answer to a trivia question but twenty five years ago Steve Fonyo, who is now 44, was a household word and hero in Our Home And Native Land.

Mr. Fonyo, a cancer survivor who had lost a leg to the terrible disease, picked up where Terry Fox left off and ran literally into the Pacific Ocean raising 13,000,000.00 dollars during his 1984 cross Canada one man marathon. For those efforts he received the Order of Canada.

Now they have taken it away.

Life has not been kind to Mr. Fonyo and Mr. Fonyo has not been kind to life. He has multiple convictions for theft and drinking while driving and assault and has turned out to be a bit of an a**hole if you ask me.

But I agree with his former boss, Satnam Singh Sidhu, at Trans Canada Auto & Transmission Services in Surrey, British Columbia who Andrea Woo quotes in her Vancouver Sun story this day: "They gave him the Order of Canada based on his accomplishments and they're still there," said Sidhu. "It's not like he didn't do it, or lied about it. He finished his marathon and was an inspiration to a lot of people."

He was stripped of his Order of Canada, recieved when he was 18 on November 22, 1985, on December 10 of last year.

WFDS

1628...Minister Gail Shea Has Spunk

WFDS Post 1624...re Minister Gail Shea getting pied in the face by Gail McCoy of PETA has a followup that I have done a cut and paste number from The Guardian:

Pie in face strengthens Shea's resolve on seal hunt

Fisheries Minister Gail Shea says her resolve to defend Canada's seal hunt is only strengthened by an American protester pushing a tofu pie in her face during an announcement in Ontario Monday.

Shea, a P.E.I. MP, wasn't hurt. She left the podium, cleaned the pie off her face and then returned to carry out her announcement at the Canada Centre for Inland Waters in Burlington, Ont., west of Toronto.

"If this is what it takes to defend the Canadian seal hunt then I'm very proud to do it," Shea said in an one-on-one interview with The Guardian following the incident.
"This actually just strengthens my resolve to defend this industry."

Police have charged a 37-year-old New York City woman with assault.

Emily McCoy was taken into custody immediately after the incident.

The animal-rights group PETA or People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals says it is responsible for the incident.

PETA says in a release it was part of its campaign "to stop the government's ill-advised sanction of the slaughter of seals," and called the pie used a "tofu cream pie."

McCoy is no stranger to police. She's the same woman who was arrested for trespassing after she stood on top of a table at a Charlottetown hotel last October during a meeting of the Fisheries Council of Canada.

She received a fine of $120 for that last October.

The whole incident in Ontario was caught on camera.

Shea began, as she does most events, by thanking those in attendance for coming.

The video then shows a woman walking up to the podium and softly pushing the pie into Shea's face, while saying: "Shame on you Gail Shea ... it is a shame on Canada, it is a shame that she has not denounced this bloody seal hunt."

The bright lights from the television cameras, Shea added, prevented her from seeing the woman coming towards her.

"I could kind of see something was coming in front of the lights, but I couldn't tell what it was until I got it right in the face," Shea said.
"I didn't know what was happening until I actually got the pie in the face."

Shea said it's unfortunate that groups like PETA have to resort to incidents like this to get attention.

"I had a chance to clean off my face and resume my duties. Islanders would expect me to do that," said the grandmother of eight.

Police are now investigating how McCoy managed to slip into the public event with a pie in her possession.

While not injured, Shea said she does consider it assault with a weapon.

It has also crossed her mind that the person could have had something much more dangerous than a pie in her hand.

"You just deal with so many people," said Shea. "You can't know that everybody that we come across is rational.

"But it's part of the job, it's part of the risk you take. You can only have so much security. The public needs to have access to us and we need to have access to the public."
I do love the don't f*ck with me attitude that the Minister has, I do.

WFDS

1627...Haiti Still Sucks

And you need to help.

Just click/cut and paste/whatever on the link below and send them twenty bucks.

http://www.redcross.ca/article.asp?id=000005&tid=003

This time it is serious.

WFDS

1626...I Want My ESPN

From The Hour via the Awful Announcing blog comes this pre Super Bowl gem [tip: TSN is the metric version of ESPN]:

Police arrested a Norwalk man on Saturday who allegedly threatened his wife at knife-point for canceling ESPN a few weeks before the Super Bowl, a department spokesperson said.

Jerome Smalls, 43, was charged with disorderly conduct and second-degree threatening.

Officers responded to Smalls' home on West Main Street on a call of an armed subject shortly before midnight on Saturday, Norwalk police Sgt. Lisa Cotto said.

At the residence, police interviewed a woman who alleged her husband threatened her with a kitchen knife after he learned that she had recently canceled the family's cable package, Cotto said.

Smalls was most upset for having lost his favorite sports channels, specifically the 24-hour sports network ESPN, she said.

Smalls admitted to grabbing his wife and screaming at her while their three children were sleeping, but denied ever threatening the woman with a knife, she said.

The wife told police that she canceled her husband's favorite programs because the family could no longer afford it, Cotto said. The husband told officers that he was upset because he believed the luxury of cable was well within the household budget, she said.


WFDS

Monday, January 25, 2010

1625...Dya Wanna Fight? Are You 99 Years Old?

Fun times in Archie Bunker's hometown of Queens as reported by the New York Post:

January 25, 2010

Geriatrics slug it out over parking spot


By David Menzies

A tale of two New Yorkers getting into an altercation over a parking spot is about as newsworthy as reporting there’s a lot of cold, salty water in the Atlantic Ocean.

Then there’s the bizarre case of Gersh Gofman and Steve Pulwers – two Big Apple geriatrics that went at it hammer and tong over street parking.

The problem began when Gofman, 83, parked his car in front of the driveway outside of the house belonging to Pulwers, 99.

Pulwers, who lives above a doctor’s office, said he was putting out the trash when the doctor returned from an emergency call. The doc couldn’t get into his driveway and began to honk his horn in an ill-fated attempt to get Gofman to pull ahead. That’s when Pulwers began knocking on Gofman’s window. Apparently, everybody got tired of waiting for Gofman.

“I say, ‘Gentleman, the doctor wants to go into the garage,’ Pulwers told the New York Post. “He did not answer.”

Well, actually, Gofman eventually responded – with his metal steering wheel lock. Junior got out of his car and soundly clubbed Pulwers with The Club.

The near-centenarian was knocked to the ground and pinned. Pulwers said he tried to use his coat to defend himself, but continued to suffer repeated blows.

Who knows what thoughts were running through the head of Pulwers at this moment? Our guess is something along these lines: “I can’t believe this... I’m a Holocaust survivor and I’m just two months away from the century mark and I’m going to buy the farm from some deranged whippersnapper who wants to park illegally.”

Gofman, who hadn’t said a word up to that point, then threatened Pulwers in Russian.

“He said he was going to send somebody to cut off my balls,” Pulwers said.

The doctor called the police and Gofman was arrested. Pulwers was taken to hospital where he was treated for a broken nose and broken ribs.

“He's much younger than me, much stronger. He could be my son,” Pulwers said of Gofman.
Gofman was charged with assault, menacing and harassment, and released without bail. He’s due back in court February 25.

But even in being released, Gofman proved to be a destructive force. Fleeing the news media, Gofman concealed his head, threw his car into reverse, and promptly T-boned an SUV belonging to a TV news crew.

Gofman... you’re a real goof, man.

WFDS

1624...Gail Shea Meets Soupy Sales

The man who invented [or at least perfected and popularized] the pie in the face must be in heaven today.

Literally.

And smiling down on us all.

Especially Tory Fisheries Minister Gail Shea. Ms. Shea took one in the face from a woman decrying the seal hunt. This happened at a speech at the Canada Centre for Inland Waters to open the Aquatic Life Research Facility in Burlington, Ontario, earlier today.

The animal-rights group People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals released the video of the incident with commentary on their website, but stopped short of claiming responsibility for the act. Later the Canadian Press said that they were taking credit.

Check out WFDS Posts 1510 and 1512 for more on Soupy Sales who passed last year.

WFDS

1623...Happy Birthday Yasir Naqvi

The rising political star, Liberal MPP for Ottawa Centre and personal friend of mine shares his birthday with Robbie Burns.

He is 37 today and the food at his party will be exponentially better than that Robbie Burns' haggis, one of the few foods that even ketchup canna save.

Give 'er Yasir, give 'er.

WFDS

1622...Unusual Way 2Celebrate Robbie Burns Day

Dying.

Chemical Ali. Has there ever been a better nick name for a real life villain? Or even a fictional villain.

Chemical Ali.

This year Chemical Ali celebrated Robbie Burns Day by getting hanged. The Associated Press story moved this morning at 10 25.

He had four death sentences for various stuff he did [such as gassing thousands of Kurdish civilians in 1988; the crime he hung for this day] while cousin Saddam Hussein was running Iraq.

He won't be missed.

WFDS

1622...Happy Robbie Burns Day

Yes, today is the 2010 minus 1759th anniversary of the birth of, next to Sheena Easton and William Wallace of Braveheart fame, the most famous and acclaimed Scot in the history of history, Robbie Burns.

The above is verifiable, to wit: In 2009, STV ran a televison series and public vote to decide who should be named as being the Greatest Scot. On St Andrew's day, STV revealed the results of the public vote, and Robert Burns was voted as being officially the Greatest Scot of all time, narrowly beating William Wallace, Scottish Patriot and Independence campaigner, for the title.

Have a glass in celebration of the Greatest Scot. Or three.

WFDS

Sunday, January 24, 2010

1621...The Most Beautiful Woman To Ever Live

I used to think it was, perhaps, Barbara Eden during her I Dream Of Jeannie days.

Or Tyra Banks.

Beyonce?

Mara Carfagna?

Montreal's own Emmanuelle Chriqui, who stars in HBO's show Entourage has been voted the Most Desirable Woman of 2010 in AskMen.com's annual poll.

Put her on the list for sure.

This afternoon I watched a movie from the early 1960's, Breakfast At Tiffany's with Audrey Hepburn, on Turner Classic Movies.

She is the champion.

Plus she got herself an Oscar nomination in 1962 for her work in the flick.

By the way BBC reported on December 5 of 2006 that The "little black dress" from Breakfast at Tiffany's, designed by Givenchy, sold at a Christie's auction on that day for £467,200 (nearly 800,000$ Canadian), almost seven times its £70,000 pre-sale estimate. This is the highest price paid for a dress from a film.

WFDS

1620...The Super Bowl Is Set

Super Bowl XLIV is good to go two weeks from today.

Indianapolis came back to beat the Jets de New Jersey and Minnesota forced overtime before falling to the hometown New Orleans Saints.

The early line on the Super Bowl is 5 for Peyton Manning and his Colts.

WFDS

1619...Have A Coke And A Smile

And survive the the tragedy in Haiti, the ill fated Haiti that collapsed on former Liberal MP Serge Marcil.

Wismond Exantus, 25, moved and spoke as he was brought onto the street, carried by French firefighters, to a round of applause for the French and smaller U.S. and Greek rescue teams after eleven days being buried in a pile of rubble.

Canwest News Services reports that Mr. Extanus found a small pocket in the rubble and told reporters that " 'I feel good,' said Exantus. 'I survived by drinking Coca-Cola. I drank Coca-Cola every day, and I ate some little tiny things.'"

WFDS

1618...Kids Today

It has happened since the beginning of the beginning. Or at least a generation after the beginning.

"Kids today, they are nothing like they were when we were kids."

Like the wheel gets reinvented every generation.

Remember Woodstock? Those folks are 60, 70, 80 now and, if you listen to the chatter among senior citizens, they were just there to listen to the music.

Teenagers like pissing off their elders, always have, always will. Another truth is teenagers lie and documentary makers like to make money by throwing a big scare into parents who forget their younger daze.

Check this: “I ended up having sex with more than one person that night and then in the morning I was trying to get morning-after pills,” one of the girls said. “I was, like, 14 at the time.” It’s just one of dozens of stories from teenage girls in a new documentary Oral Sex Is The New Goodnight Kiss by Canadian filmmaker Sharlene Azam that aims to shed light on the secret, extremely sexual lives of today’s teens.

It's a book, it is a documentary and it is Dr. Phil approved so check it out at your local bookstore and get scared.

While you are getting scared for your daughters keep this in mind:

Grandma and grandpa's generation invented f*cking in cars.

So give your head a shake, have a cocktail and don't worry about a thing, your little girl is going to be fine.

WFDS

1617...And Then There Were Four

In a few minutes the AFC championship game between the Indianapolis Colts and the New York Jets will be rocking and rolling from Indy. The Colts are 8.5 points faves but I like the Jets, probably coz I have a Jets sombrero.

Later in the day the NFC will happen in Nawlins with the Saints becoming the Aints when they lose to the 3 and half point underdog Brett Farve Minnesota Vikings.

Enjoy.

WFDS

1616...War On Drugs/Candy

New York Daily News reports that the crack NYPD drug squad busted two Harlem men for having rock cocaine for sale, le crack, but it turned out to be rock candy.

Cops accused Cesar Rodriguez and Jose Pena of having crack cocaine in their work van, but it was only coconut candy, they said Friday.

Charges were dropped after tests showed they were telling the truth, but the two men plan to file a $2 million suit against the NYPD.

"I spent five days in jail for possession of coconut candy," said Rodriguez, 33, an ex-con who works as a plumber's assistant.

He and Pena were parked near an Arthur Ave. bodega Jan. 15 when two police officers asked to search their green Chevy Venture van, the men said.

The cops found pieces of the crystalline candy - known as crema de coco and sold in bodegas across the city - in a plastic baggie.

1615...Happy Birthday To Me

Ah the stuff I learn while doing what other's consider wasting time.

Like this from Yahoo! News: Today, the 24th day of January, 2010, is the 75th anniversary of canned beer. It twas in 1935, on this very date, that New Jersey's Gottfried Krueger Brewing Company started canning and selling the first canned beer.

In the land of the home and the free of the brave [yes, I have cracked a few tonight; what's it to ya?] cans actually outsell bottles. Not so here in our home and native land.

Have a drink on me.

WFDS

Saturday, January 23, 2010

1614...Hurry, Hurry, Harder, Harder

Hurry Hard is the new brand of condoms that the Associated Press reports that the clever folks at USA Curling and longtime sponsor Kodiak Technology Group released just before Christmas.

The purpose of the product promotion is multiple. First off they want to raise awareness of the sport of curling, rather obscure sport it is in America. Secondly they want to be active in the fight against sexually transmitted disease, AIDS, HIV, VD.

Hurry Hard is all about making fun, funner.

WFDS

1613...Canuck Was CIA Bureau Chief

While Canadian Ambassador to Iran.

Sneaky devil.

In Saturday's Globe and Mail "Ken Taylor, the Canadian diplomat, celebrated 30 years ago for hiding U.S. embassy personnel during the Iranian revolution, actively spied for the Americans and helped them plan an armed incursion into the country."

He became the “...the de facto CIA station chief...”while running the show for Canada in revolutionary Iran from '77 to '80.

"Trent University historian Robert Wright, author of Our Man in Tehran , a new account of the incident [the Iranians, student revolutionaries, taking 63 Americans hostage along with their embassy on November 4th of '79 and holding them until late in the next year] released today, strongly implies that then-prime-minister Joe Clark insisted Mr. Taylor's spying be kept quiet, fearing a negative political fallout if the Canadian public learned that one of its envoys was a U.S. spook."

Ambassador Taylor was responsible for saving six Americans on his own which made him quit the pop culture star in the early part of the administration of Ronald Reagan.

WFDS

Friday, January 22, 2010

1612...Mikey I Live And In Person

Tomorrow, Parliament Hill, two o'clock, speaking at two thirty. Look for me in the Liberal Red sombrero.

For true.

Please note that Michael Ignatieff will be speaking at the Prorogation rally on Parliament Hill tomorrow afternoon and we hope you will join us to add your support for this important event. All staff, MPs and Senators, candidates and Liberals are encouraged to attend!

Where: In front of Centre Block, Parliament Hill, Ottawa, Ontario

When: Saturday, January 23rd @ 2:00 PM (Leader speaks at 2:30 pm)

What: Leader’s speech at the Prorogation rally

It’s expected to be a sunny and mild day (- 5), so we hope to see you there!



WFDS

1611...Buckets Tonite In Da Cap

Carleton against Queens, men and women; women on now, boys start at 8.

U of Ottawa against the consistently horrific Royal Military College [and why they suck is beyond me; one, they offer full scholarships and two, the U.S. service academies don't suck] also now and at 8.

Reverse for tomorrow.

Look for me at both Queen's games in my New York Jets sombrero.

WFDS

1610...Speaking French In North Carolina

Will soon be easier when the town that Mayberry [think of the iconic 1960's CBS situation comedy "The Andy Griffith Show"] was based upon, Mount Airy, North Carolina, gets a strip joint.

MyFox8.com, FOX8 being a local [yes, they have local TV in the US of A] reports that "El Tequila Night Club on West Lebanon Street in Mount Airy currently sports a sign depicting a pole dancer, the most obvious clue the owner might be considering hiring exotic dancers."

Finally, Quebecois culture reaches the mid south.

WFDS

1609...Scott A. Ross Makes The National Post

I have always said that when a Canuckistanian uses his middle initial when writing something it is motherfu*king serious.

Scott A. Ross, a Liberal blogger and political activist from British Columbia's Okanagan region, is as serious as a heart attack.

He is also in today's National Post pointing out that the Stephen Harper's are costing you over 130,000,000.00 dineros with their proroguing stunt.

He is pissed enough to use his middle intial. So should we.

WFDS

1608...Facebook And Democracy

Is the title of a piece in this morning's National Post.

Shilo Davis, is the organizer of "...Canadians Against Proroguing Parliament (CAPP) Facebook group, and the co-ordinator of nationwide rallies planned for tomorrow..." and she writes that "At last count, the CAPP Facebook group had over 200,000 members, with more joining every hour. That makes it not only the biggest Facebook group in Canada, but also the quickest large-scale grassroots political mobilization in Canadian history. CAPP has more Facebook followers than all of the major political leaders combined -- not bad for a three-week-old group founded over a matter of parliamentary procedure."

Miss Davis also is the national rally coordinator for Canadians Against Proroguing Parliament.

The proof is in the pudding; let's see if people forgo their Saturday of shopping and watching NCAA basketball and gather on the Hill, in Gore Park, Hamilton and elsewhere for this protest.

Truly this is a watershed moment in Canadian politics and pop culture, kinda catching up to what President Obama did during his successful run in '08. No matter what, Miss Davis is to be commended for doing something.

WFDS

1607...I Love Windsor

Because it has a view of Detroit, the most dysfunctional and fun city that side of Montreal.

Case in point from WXYZ.com: "A 51-year-old Detroit man is locked up, accused of breaking up a Wayne County Sheriff's Department prostitution sting by impersonating a police officer."

So he is playing copper and breaking up stings, like doh.

Five-oh found beaucoup de Detroit Police Department swag including a badge, clothing and, most chilling, a loaded Glock gun.

WFDS

Thursday, January 21, 2010

1606...He Better Be Good

The January 18th edition of Sports Illustrated runs with a bit that states that Central Florida's basketball team is taking a 3,000,000.00 dollar hit.

The reason they are taking the hit is coz they nullified their multi-million dollar contract with sneaker company Adidas.

The reason? Michael Jordan's son Marcus, freshman at Central Florida, will only wear his daddy's Nike brand Air Jordan's.

WFDS

1605...Say What You Will Clarence...

...Soul Asylum have sold their equipment on Minneapolis's Craiglist over the last 48 hours.

It is the end of an era for grunge rock bands that have outlived their usefulness.

If you don't know who Soul Asylum is/are/were, well, ain't that the point?

A moment of silence, please.

WFDS

1604...I Have A Shot At A Pulitzer Prize

Sure I do.

And I may be the next American Idol.

Stranger things have and will happen.

Ravi Somaiya posits in an article on Gawker.com that the National Enquirer should be up for a Pulitzer Prize for breaking the John Edwards infidelity story. Mr. Somaiya points out that "The New York Times won the breaking news category last year for revealing Eliot Spitzer's infidelity. While that was doubtless fantastic reporting, the Enquirer had a much tougher task, and a much bigger fish to land. Their investigation was prompted by just a brief phone tip. Through nothing more than shoe leather and persistence their team exposed a major Presidential candidate as a cheat and a liar."

There is more, and reflect on the lack of local journalism in your town and think of the bloodletting at CITY TV this week when you read below:

Emily Miller, at Politics Daily, explained why they [National Enquirer] beat every outlet to the story — they first reported it in October of 2007. And why the second part of their investigation, into inappropriate use of campaign funds, prompted a grand jury investigation (as robust a vindication of reporting standards as can be imagined):


The TV networks [CITY TV, A Channels come to mind] and many print outlets have dismantled or cut back their investigative teams, while the Enquirer continues to incur the expense of putting reporters on months-long stakeouts and paying them to literally knock on doors in search of sources.

It is painful to read and surreal to type but perhaps the National
Enquirer
is the future of journalism that matters.

WFDS

1603...Maybe Stephen Harper Over Thunk Things

Latest polls show that Team Red and the Stephen Harper's are pretty much tied.

CBC.ca this morning reports that an EKOS poll has the two big boys virtually tied, with the Tories at 31.5 and the Libs at 30.9. Jack Layton's crew, and if there was ever a time for the NDP to break through it would be now, are at 14.9. My Facebook friend Elizabeth May, and if there was ever a time for the Greens to break through it would be now, is at 11.5.

I still stand by my view that if Canada does well at the Vancouver Olympics, and by well I mean wins the hockey gold, Prime Minister Harper goes to the polls before the snow melts in Ottawa.

It is as simple as that.

WFDS

1601...Dog Bowling

I just got a new puppy, born December 13, 2009 and for those of you who are getting one of those critters I have a tip: get hardwood floors.

Coz the floors are so slippy you can dog bowl the pup in any open area.

My dog, Mara, thinks this uncontrolled sliding for ten feet or so is more fun than even eating a shoe.

You are welcome.

WFDS

1600...Poutine Face Plant

So proud to be Canadian, so proud.

We don't sue, we just call the Toronto Sun and bitch.

That is what Lee Lakin, the father of the Acton, Ontario teen Kendell Lakin who "...was left with second-degree burns [on her kisser] Saturday after having an epileptic seizure inside a KFC outlet and landing face-down in her piping-hot poutine."

The father just wants them to turn down the temperature of the poutine. And, regardless of what Don Cherry says, provide helmets with full visors.

Miss Lakin, of course, has a new high school nick name that will follow her through life: Poutine Face.

WFDS

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

1599...America's Gayest Cities

As Jim Nabors would say in Gomer Pyle, USMC: "Surprise, Surprise".

It ain't San Fran, it ain't Los Angeles, it ain't NYC.

According to The Advocate it is Atlanta, GA.

The capital of Black America is also the capital of Gay America.

Atlanta was followed by Burlington, Vermont, Iowa City, Bloomington, Indiana and Madison, Wisconsin.

Wonder who would win in Canada?

My money would be on Ottawa.

WFDS

1598...I Love Global Warming;Where Are My Skis?

Could somebody please explain to me how this global warming is supposed to work again because there's currently a blizzard watch for southern Arizona?

News out of Phoenix, Arizona, via Azfamily.com, is that they are expecting a big storm to roll through today through Friday delivering big winds, beaucoup de rain and up to fit'y [that's five oh] inches of snow in the high country.

Fifty inches is about 9,000 centimeters I think.

The city of Phoenix itself is just going to be wet and cool, around 15 degrees, Canadian.

WFDS

1597...The Citizen Opines On Burger King O'Brien

Cut and paste from today's Ottawa Citizen:

O'Brien's fact and fiction

By Ken Gray, The Ottawa CitizenJanuary 20, 2010

Mayor Larry O'Brien's State of the City speech last week had more whoppers in it than a Burger King franchise.

For a disengaged mayor, O'Brien has certainly accomplished a great deal, at least according to the speech, which Ottawa mayors traditionally give at the first city council meeting of the year. Once you get past platitudes such as "the capital of the greatest country in the world," the baloney gets sliced a tad thick. Expect to see this luncheon meat regurgitated if O'Brien enters the mayoral race in pursuit of a second term.

Here are some of the quotes O'Brien made in the State of the City speech and my response to them:

"First, we approved the increase of funding for the Conference Centre to a grand total of $40 million to make that project a reality."

Didn't the momentum for funding a new congress centre come about during the days of the former Conservative government at Queen's Park? And didn't former mayor Bob Chiarelli negotiate hard before the city came on-board with the project so that the municipality wouldn't be stuck with operating losses? And isn't former mayor Jim Durrell the moving force behind the new congress centre?

"After pressing the reset button on transit in 2007, we prepared and developed a new transit plan based on LRT and a tunnel to ensure a faster, more reliable transit for our citizens from the east to the west ends of our city."

East and west ends indeed -- if you think Ottawa stretches from Tunney's Pasture to Blair Road. A tunnel and a short rail line. For $2.1 billion (and likely much more) that's not much transit. Hello, Orléans, Barrhaven and Kanata.

"We have chosen the long-term solution to transit that will last and grow for the balance of the 21st century."

Isn't that how long it will take to build?

"Just before Christmas, Premier Dalton McGuinty made a very strong statement of support for our new transit plan. He acknowledged the hard work that has been done and backed up that support with a commitment of $600 million."

Well, $600 million is far from enough to pay for this plan -- and McGuinty has spent much of his time equivocating about the tunnel and line.

"Last November we started an exciting and formal course of action that will see Lansdowne Park restored to its former, or dare I say even grander, glory."

We can expect O'Brien to take credit for Lansdowne in any mayoral campaign, but the serious council lobbying was done by College Councillor Rick Chiarelli with Alta Vista Councillor Peter Hume ensuring the final winning vote at council was decisive rather than just close. And, of course, the principals behind Lansdowne Live did the real work.

"We have also invested in our aging infrastructure at a record rate, including authorizing the spending required to address the troublesome and long-standing problem of pollution of the Ottawa River."

Didn't planning and environment committee chairman Peter Hume and city staff do the heavy lifting on that one?

"The audit budget and finance committee determined that the tax increase for 2010 should not exceed four per cent.

"I personally believe the city could get to inflationary tax increases or lower, but not without fundamentally changing the nature and extent of services that we offer."

Zero means zero.

"The recent AAA rating from Moody is no accident and we have more than enough capacity to make the investments required to continue growing our city."

Isn't the Moody's rating based on taxpayers' ability to pay?

"Another important file we will need to address before the end of the term is the refresh of our economic development plan for the City of Ottawa."

Yes, indeed. We need to adjust to the loss of Nortel, our biggest private employer and the major driver of Ottawa's tech sector. The city barely squawked when that company disappeared.

"I am optimistic that the city can complete its negotiations with Plasco (for plasma gasification of garbage) in the next few weeks, and it is my hope that construction will begin by this fall."

Again, didn't this get moving with Bob Chiarelli and city staff? Wasn't the major work done by Plasco and its executive, Rod Bryden?

O'Brien is a good salesman. He sold a city on a mayor with no experience and a promise to freeze taxes. You'd think after three years we'd get more steak and less sizzle.

Instead, Ottawa gets warmed-over baloney.

Ken Gray is a Citizen editorial board member who produces a monthly podcast, Inner City, at ottawacitizen.com/innercity and a blog, The Bulldog, at ottawacitizen.com/bulldog.

His column runs on Wednesdays.

E-mail: kgray@thecitizen.canwest.com.

I don't think Ken Gray likes Mayor O'Brien.

WFDS

1596...Captain Obvious States The Truth

Apparently, oh, first, are you sitting down? Apparently the use of alcohol can lead to sex. Wow, thanks for that insight which Doug Hempstead of the Ottawa Sun reports was released Tuesday by the Institute of Marriage and Family Canada who used Statistics Canada data to come to their amazing conclusion.

They discovered that girls who drink and smoke weed are more likely to have sex.

Note to the researcher, Peter Jon Mitchell: works with grown ups too.

WFDS

1595...Bob Chiarelli Is In; But Can He Win?

As I mentioned in Post 1579, the former hizzoner of Ottawa, Smiling Bob Chiarelli, is seeking the Liberal nomination to replace the former hizzoner of Ottawa, Jim Watson, as MPP in Ottawa West.

The Ottawa Sun's Susan Sherring not only has Mr. Chiarelli elected but she has him sitting at the big boy's table in Dalton McGuinty's cabinet upon winning the by-election.

My friend Blake Batson has his own view on the subject, from his blog http://www.blakebatson.ca/:

Bob for MPP but it may go PC

MPP Jim Watson running for Mayor and former Mayor Bob Chiarelli running for MPP. The old switcheroo…

It makes good sense though. Chiarelli has got a great resume and would fit nicely into Premier McGuinty’s cabinet. Although Chiarelli wouldn’t bring any new thinking or dynamism to the McGuinty government, he would bring unwavering support for the Premier and would be a good soldier.

The flip side of this election however, is should the PC’s nominate a good candidate and be able to win the riding from the Liberals, it will send shock waves through the provincial Liberal caucus and put the premier on the defensive, something he has avoided since taking over the government in 2003.

And this should be a likely scenario given the fact that the Liberals have just passed a largest tax hike in Ontario history (the HST), the economy is sputtering and the deficits are stratospheric. A strong PC candidate should be able to pull this off and become the next MPP for Ottawa West.

The upside for Bob Chiarelli, of course, is that if he loses the by-election in Ottawa West, he will still have plenty of time to still run for the Mayor of Ottawa.


The last line is an angle that I hadn't thought of. Had you?

WFDS



1594...Two For One Sale At The Cemetary

From the Ottawa Sun comes this touching advert informing owners of lots [a euphemism for grave, eh?] Capital Memorial Gardens that they are eligible to have the names of their loved ones engraved on the Capital Memorial Gardens granite Wall of Memories absolutely free!!!

Hey, you gotta go, right?

WFDS

1593...&UThoughtHousesWereXpensiveInWhistler

Straight from the Associated Press:

NYC's 'skinniest' house sold for $2.1 million, now renting for $10K a month

NEW YORK - A town house dubbed New York City's skinniest house has sold for $2.1 million.

The red, 9.5 foot wide, 42 foot (3 by 12 metre) long brick building in Greenwich Village was built in 1873 on land used as an alley between homes. The town house was listed for sale last August at $2.7 million. The two bedroom, two bath home last sold in 2000 for $1.6 million.

A plaque on the narrow Bedford Street home notes poet Edna St. Vincent Millay once lived there; so did anthropologist Margaret Mead.

The newly-sold building was listed on real estate Web sites Wednesday as a rental available for $10,000 a month. An email seeking comment from the listed rental agent Wednesday was not immediately returned.

Location, location, location.

WFDS


Tuesday, January 19, 2010

1592...Teddy Kennedy Is Rolling Over In His Grave

77WABC, New York, breaks with this:

Republican Scott Brown wins U.S. Senate seat in Massachusetts

Democrat Martha Coakley concedes the election to Republican Scott Brown for the U.S. Senate seat formerly held by liberal Democrat Ted Kennedy.


Senator Kennedy was in power in Mass from 1962 until his death last year.

He must be spinning in his grave, the late Senator.


WFDS





1591...Michael Ignatieff In The House

Unlike that Prime Minister fellow, Michael Ignatieff is in your capital and working for our country.

Liberal Leader Michael Ignatieff will be speaking tomorrow at 12:10 to the media at the conclusion of the National Liberal Winter Caucus. He will be in the Hall of Honour.

Presumably he will also be on the telly.

WFDS

1590...Now This Is Embarassing, Eh?

The Daily Telegraph reports that "The floor of a Weight Watchers clinic in Sweden collapsed beneath a group of twenty members of the weight loss program who gathered for a meeting. As the dieters queued to see how many pounds they had shed, the floor beneath them in the clinic in Vaxjo...began to rumble..."

The floor collapsed along the walls and in one corner and the meeting/weigh in had to be moved elsewhere in the building.

The morale of the story: don't have a Weight Watchers meeting on any floor that isn't the ground floor unless it is the basement.

WFDS

1589...More Football News From The Wall

That's what Michael Scott on NBC's The Office calls the Wall Street Journal.

One of the Wall's writers, David Biderman, writes that "According to a Wall Street Journal study of four recent broadcasts...the average amount of time the ball is in play on the field during an NFL game is about eleven minutes...the average telecast devotes fifty six per cent more time to showing replays."

And your point is?

WFDS

1588...Canadian Civil War Brewing

And it ain't Quebec that is going to be wearing Grey.

It is Alberta.

In a move that he hopes will shore up his fast fading stewardship of the Conservative dynasty in the wild rose province, Alberta Premier has moved his attack dog, Ted Morton, into finance and told him to go after Ottawa toute and suite.

Gillian Steward, a Calgary based journo who contributes to the Toronto Star, reports that Minister "Morton grew up in Casper, Wyo., where his father was a Republican state senator. He has a PhD in political economy from the University of Toronto and was a popular political science professor at the University of Calgary, working alongside Tom Flanagan, Harper's former mentor, before he was elected to the legislature in late 2004. Two years later his strong bid for the Conservative leadership created a tight three-way race that allowed Stelmach to slip up the middle and take the crown as the compromise candidate. "

This is the man who, back in 2000, along with Stephen Harper, demanded that then Premier Ralph Klein "...withdraw from the Canada Pension Plan, establish its own police force and take over responsibility for health-care policy...[and] declared that provinces should raise their own revenue for health care and replace the Canada Health and Social Transfer cash with tax points."

He refers to himself as "every liberal's worst nightmare - a right- winger with a PhD." And now he is Premier Stelmach's attack dog.

WFDS

1587...The Hill Helps Haiti

Louis-Alexandre invited you to "Hill Helps Haiti" on Monday, January 25 at 6:00pm.

Event: Hill Helps Haiti

What: Fundraiser

Start Time: Monday, January 25 at 6:00pm End Time: Monday, January 25 at 9:00pm

Where: 200 West Block

To see more details and RSVP, follow the link below:

http://www.facebook.com/n/?event.php&eid=253322529871&mid=1bec890G2f3e0a3cG9236c40G7

Thanks,

The Facebook Team

1586...Kate McGarrigle Passes

It is being reported by CBC.ca that there is sadness in the world of music this day because, at the relatively young age of 63, Kate McGarrigle, one half of the McGarrigle Sisters, Anna being the other, has passed away from a rare, undisclosed, form of cancer. She was Loudon Wainwright III's ex wife and the mother of both Martha and Rufus Wainwright.

Not super prolific, the Montreal based sisters put out ten albums. They debuted with the album Kate & Anna McGarrigle in 1976. It was named album of the year by the British music trade Melody Maker and was the No. 2 record of the year by the New York Times.

She garnered beaucoup awards including an Order of Canada and an ASCAP song writing award back in '05. She was quoted at the time by the Canadian Press as saying that her dad would not have been thrilled with her lifetime achievement award in music because "He would have hated the idea of us becoming professional musicians because he thought professional musicians were bums, people that wandered from town to town."

She was anything but.

And will be missed.

WFDS

1585...Yep, They Hired Him

They be the Buffalo-Toronto Bills of the NFL an he being Chan Gailey, mediocre professional football coach.

There are a number of problems with the Bills that make them less attractive [if you are from Toronto, Niagara, Hamilton or anywheres in between, stop reading now] to potential coaches like Stanford's Jim Harbaugh, former NFL coaches Bill Cowher, Brian Billick and Mike Shanahan.

For starters they have a 90 plus year old owner who hasn't set up a succession plan for the team. Note to Ralph Wilson: we are all going to die but you are going to die sooner than the rest of us, get with the succession plan.

Secondly, location.

The town, the area and the secondary towns that the team is affiliated with [Rochester and Toronto] are difficult sells to free agents and prime time players in their prime. Although I personally like both Buffalo and the city that the Bills may move to after Mr. Wilson pops his clogs, Toronto, they are in the bottom percentile of places players wanna play in and coaches wanna coach in.

When they were winning, two decades ago that was, it was different, but now that they suck the pipe, not so good.

So, as Gene Mauchish Chan Gailey is, may be he is the best they could get.

WFDS

Monday, January 18, 2010

1584...Buffalo-Toronto Bills' New Coach

Chan Gailey.

The team is on the verge of hiring Mr. Gailey, at least that is what WGR Sportsradio 550 is reporting.

Question is: why?

He has been just average everywhere he has coached and doesn't come cheaply.

His last job was/is as offensive coordinator of the Kansas City Chiefs who sucked the pipe on offense the two years he has been there.

Previously he was head coach at Georgia Tech, where he made seven figures, and not once in his six years there did he go to a major bowl nor did his teams ever beat cross state rival Georgia.

He also lost in the Wild Card Game twice at Dallas and on and on and on.

I am sure he is a nice guy, great to play golf with, works hard etcetera but you would have a better chance of going to the Super Bowl with me as coach and I would do it for five figures.

I just don't get it.

Plus, with the Rooney Rule, y'd think they, the Bills, would be want to hire, or, at least, interview someone of colour.

WFDS

1583...Happy Martin Luther King Day

Lots of stuff going on in Ottawa and I missed it all coz I thought today was President's Day and next month was MLK day.

Man, the food is great, the speeches inspiring and I missed it all.

Darn.

Happy, belated, MLK Day.

WFDS

1582...I Love Practical Jokes

"We've secretly replaced these people's flu vaccine with insulin shots. Let's see if they notice."

They noticed.

The News Advance in Old Virginia reports of the fun goings on at New London Academy where "...five elementary school employees were sent to the hospital Friday after a school nurse mistakenly injected them with insulin instead of flu vaccine, said Ryan Edwards, spokesman for the school division."

They were transported to Lynchburg General Hospital where chocolate bars were applied.

WFDS

1581...And Then There Were Four

NFL is down to it with the AFC final set for next Sunday, the Jets of New Jersey against the Indianapolis Colts.

In the NFC final it will be Brett Farve, ex Jet, leading Minnesota into the Superdome in New Orleans to take on the Saints.

Winners move on to Miami for the Super Bowl in early February.

Who do you love?

WFDS

1580...Hope For Canwest

My sources [Bloomberg, CTV.ca and Reuters India] tell me that Senator Jerry Grafstein, who has been retired less than a month, is part of a consortium that is making a move to buy [at least some] of the Canwest Newspaper Group.

The esteemed Senator, an eminent writer his own bad self, is quoted as saying to Bloomberg that “I believe in the future of the newspaper business.”

The future is so bright I gotta wear shades.

WFDS

1579...Smiling Bob Going To Queen's Park

The greatest mayor your Capital has ever had, Bob Chiarelli, has decided that he is not going to run for mayor of my town.

Susan Sherring in this morning's Ottawa Sun announced that Mr. Chiarelli is going to seek the nomination for the seat vacated by his predecessor as mayor, Jim Watson. The seat held by the Honourable MPP is Ottawa West-Nepean and, according to Miss Sherring, when Mr. Chiarelli wins the riding he will become a senior cabinet minister in Dalton McGuinty's government.

The former mayor was considering running against the former mayor against the current mayor and his not running against the former mayor who is running against the current mayor clears the path for the former mayor to take out the current mayor.

WFDS

Sunday, January 17, 2010

1578...Just A Thought

I read with interest that CITY TV, unlike NBC in America, has done well stripping The Jay Leno Show at ten o'clock weeknights and now are in a bit of a spot having to fill that hole in their schedule.

What they are apparently going to do is fill the whole with dramatic and comedy shows but my thought was/is that perhaps they could step up to the plate and run a Toronto based talk show from ten to eleven. For starters, Toronto is the centre of the f*cking universe, right? And the reality is that lots of stars, of all calibre, float through that town.

Just a thought.

WFDS

1577...Booze For Boobs

The Electric New Paper, a journo in Singapore, the land where you cannot chew gum but apparently can do other things reports that at a bar in that town/country "The bigger your chest, the more free drinks you will get. That's the cheeky gimmick that local diner-cum-bar OverEasy at One Fullerton has come up with for its latest event Fill My Cups."

A modest set of A-cups - we're talking bra size of course - gets one free drink, B-cups get two, C-cups get three, and D-cups get a free bottle of vodka.


Sadly, for George Constanza and others, moobs don't count.


WFDS

1576...Pirate Radio Shutdown For Good? In Ottawa

91.9 MIX FM, the pirate radio station that has been [oh the horror] playing popular music regardless of country of origin, since October of last year, was taken down by the Mounties the other day.

As reported in the Ottawa Sun, on January 15, 2010 at 9:00 am, with a judge-appointed order and with the help of the RCMP, Industry Canada took action to shutdown the conventional broadcast of MIX FM by searching the Saadé International Inn and seizing all of the station's radio equipment.

Station owner Jayhaed Saadé was visibly upset, he was crying and mad, while workers removed the equipment, some of which has yet to be recovered as Jayhaed Saadé admits to hiding some of the equipment from both Industry Canada and his father George Saadé. As Industry Canada removed the equipment, Jayhead Saadé was confined to the lobby of the broadcast site. George Saadé informed the Ottawa Sun that he was not expecting litigation from Industry Canada in regards to the illegal operation of MIX FM as long as all of the equipment was recouped. The internet stream continued to remain on the air until 1:45pm of the same day.

Jayhaed has since made a statement to the Ottawa Citizen in which he stated that "[he] will be back on [the air]" as soon as he can replace the seized equipment.

Wikipedia reports that "...American voice-over talent company Voice123.com claims MIX FM had set up auditions for the station and used the voiceovers without paying the actors. It is believed that the website is questioning whether they can file legal actions against MIX FM."

Cool beans.

WFDS



Friday, January 15, 2010

1575...If You Axe Me This Is Culling The Herd

Three non achievers in the Detroit area left this mortal coil last night in a high speed car crash writes the team of Christina Hall and Tammy Stables Battaglia in the Detroit Free Press. Three non achievers in their mid fifties I might point out.

The fellows were Gordon Eugene Wright, 56, and a pair of 53 year olds: Raymond Lee Lewis and Quatilious Combs.

What these middle aged lads did was jack a CVS Drugstore. For money you ask? Au contraire. Liquor? No. Oxy or some other drugs they could sell? Jamais. What they did was steal 45 dollars, f o r t y f i v e d o l l a r s, worth of Axe, a cheap body spray/cologne, get spotted and flee.

The St. Clair Shores coppers, that's a suburb of Motown, had a cruiser slammed in the parking lot of the mall and then pursued the men until they started going over 90 mph [that is about 1,000 km/h]. Mr. Wright was the inept driver of the gang that wanted to smell, well, not great, but okay and was the man who drove them straight into Hell.

Culling the herd.

WFDS