Saturday, March 31, 2012

4408...Trudeau Junior/Senator Brazeau Fight 2Nite

On SunTV.

Should be fun. Last time I checked Bodog, an offshore bookie started by a Sask boy, had the Senator at -500.

Elizabeth May, the MP and leader of the Green Party opined that it, the fight, was undignified.

I say all work and no play is what has made Ms. May a dull girl.


4407...Still No Juno Buzz In Ottawa

And, in the words of the immortal Hank Snow, I've been everywhere.

Little Final Four buzz and, of course, The Sens.


4406...Rock, Chalk, Jayhawk

Finally the Big Dance.

Ohio State vs. Kansas; Kentucky vs. Louisville.

Off to the beer store.


4405...Happy Birthday Gordie Howe

If any day should be a National Holiday in Canada this would be it.

Happy birthday Number 9.


Friday, March 30, 2012

4404...Free Booze & Swag Does Work On Journos

It really has to.

Tell you why.

Here in Ottawa we are having the Junos.

I know.

Who gives a f*ck?

As it turns out the only people that give a f*ck about the Junos are the journos [and disc jockeys]. If one is to believe what one reads in the paper or hear on the radio one would think this whole town was/is being turned upside down. Staid as Old Bytown may be we do get excited. Kate and Wills would be an example. Canada Day. Hockey playoffs.

That buzz, that Juno buzz, it is not there. Or here.

That would be why I think that the PR folks got to the journos and jocks with a mixture of booze and swag.

Only problem is, like New Coke and Crystal Pepsi, the product ain't there.

Really, it isn't.


4403...Michael Harris CFRA Update

For starters Michael Harris, longtime 1 to 3 in the afternoon talker on Ottawa's heritage station, 580 CFRA, is still on the beach.

That is radio slang for he ain't working in the biz.

And that is the good news.

CFRA, a BellMedia Company, has totally gone on the cheap. They announced recently, like this week, that they are going to be running the audio of CTV Ottawa's news at six and eleven. They have given Rob Snow, their afternoon drive guy, an hour of open line to whine through from two to three. I am guessing that Ron Corbett is getting an hour too shine from one to two. In the same way the station is testing Mark Sutcliffe from nine to ten in the morning.

I am a CFRA P1, heavy listener, but they are doing the best to tune me and other P1s out. TV news on the radio is like a thousand dollar hooker. It sucks. And blows. At the same time.

I will change the channel and poof I am gone, at least for a while. In the paper age of ratings that Ottawa is still in that may be okay; when Ottawa goes to PPM it will be a disaster.

Somebody in this town is going to be smart and rock a personality driven FM newser heavy on talk and entertainment as opposed to the programming on 'RA which is getting more and more difficult to listen to coz of their cheaping out. Ditto across the hall at The Team.


Thursday, March 29, 2012

4402...Funny Story In The Toronto Sun Tonight

The Leafs, as in the Toronto Maple Leafs, suck.

We all know that.

Like really suck.

Here was the funny story in The Toronto Sun.

The story was that a lot of businesses, primarily bars, count on the Leafs to make the playoffs.

What an excellent business plan.


4401...More Juno Madness

From my friends at KOWPR comes this:

This Saturday!!

An Exclusive Autograph Signing Session With The Best Canadian Artists!

The JUNO Fan Fare will be rocking out at St. Laurent Centre on March 31st from 12 – 3 PM! Get autographs from your favorite JUNO nominated artists at St Laurent’s centre court! It’s all part of the JUNO week festivities leading up to the JUNO Awards.

Sharpies will be available at no charge.

The stars will have nametags and will be wearing berets.

Look for me in the front row with my maple leaf flag sombrero.


4400...Ottawa Boy Makes Good Ottawa Hates Boy

That is the way it works in this town. Ottawa has what Kylie Minogue calls the "Tall trees syndrome." If you get too tall people in this city, actually just the Ontario side of your capital, want and will cut you down.

That is why, as Paul Anka says, this is a good place to be from.

TV Guide
reports that one lad who is from here and has done so well is "Former MTV Total Request Live VJ Quddus (real name: Benjamin Quddus Philippe)[who] has been named host of ABC's summer singing competition Duets. He joins a cast that also includes music stars Kelly Clarkson, Jennifer Nettles, Lionel Richie and Robin Thicke."

That will get the haters going.


4399...Stephen Harper's Budget

He is going to screw old people out of two years of their pensions.

He is going to buy some planes and build some jails.

He is cutting back 115,000,000 shekels from the CBC which will probably/certainly come out of the talent side.

Say good bye to the penny.

The sky is not falling though; in fact the sun just may come up tomorrow.

The leading right wing bird cage liner in the land, The Toronto Sun, did not like the budget saying that "At its best, it was a Progressive Conservative budget. At its worst, it was almost Trudeauesque."

Pierre Elliot Trudeau is, to the Sun nation, the great Satan.

With that in mind it cannot be that bad a budget.


4398...St. Patrick's High School Thunder Bay

Is Roman Catholic.

The Roman Catholic Church, of which St. Patrick's High School in Thunder Bay is a branch office, is officially, on the record, no doubt about it, anti-abortion, pro-life, whatever you want to call it.

This does not mean all RCs are against a women's right to choose; I for example am pro choice and find it egregious [thanks for the new word Jenn Farr] that a woman in Prince Edward Island cannot get an abortion in her home province.

That is why stories like this one from George Strombo's website always surprise me/never surprise me:

March 16, 2011

Seven students at St. Patrick's Catholic High School in Thunder Bay were suspended for wearing handmade pro-choice stickers on white t-shirts during a school sanctioned pro-life 'Day of Silence'.

Students were asked by the school to sport white t-shirts that said 'Life' in red tape, which in and of itself is a bit odd. Telling kids to become billboards for the church's policy...

So fifteen-year-old Alexandria Szeglet along with 23 other kids that disagreed with the event decided to sport green stickers that said "choice."

The school asked them to remove the stickers... 17 complied and the seven who didn't were suspended.

Imagine that... a school in Canada suspending kids for taking a position that is actually legal in Canada. Kind of insane...

What do you think?

Suspended, heck it wouldn't surprise me if they were expelled. I got expelled from a Catholic High School, it isn't that difficult.


4397...It Is Budget Day In Ottawa

A friend of mine who works in one of the tonier watering holes near Parliament Hill told me that Budget Day is a bigger deal for them than New Year's Eve and the Super Bowl wrapped into one.


Wednesday, March 28, 2012

4396...I'm Bobby Knight And I Won't Say Kentucky

Bobby Knight is, of course, one of the greatest coaches in college hoop history.

He is also Bobby Knight.

Bobby Knight is now a commentator for ESPN, college hoops specifically.

Bobby Knight also has a hate on for Kentucky, the number one team in the land from opening tip right into this weekend's Final Four. He has a double hate on for the SEC team's coach John Calipari.

Due to that hatred Bobby Knight will not say the word "Kentucky". He refers to them as "That team from the SEC."

At least nobody got shot. Or hit by a chair.

By Bobby Knight.


4395...FYI Nurse Jackie Is Back

The house of cards is collapsing.

Addicts are entertaining if you don't have a stake.

I don't.


4394...Becuz If They Don't Like It In Dearborn

They won't like it anywhere else in the United States of America.

It is Little Mosque On The Prairie and Dearborn is a city in the Detroit Metro that has more Muslims, than any other city in North America.

CBC reaches into Dearborn both over the air and on cable.

If Little Mosque On The Prairie isn't a hit in Dearborn, and it isn't, it is not going to be a hit in Des Moines, New York City or Carson City.

What brought this on was a handwringing piece in the Ottawa Metro deploring the fact that Little Mosque is seen in 92 countries plus the CBC yet no one in America has cottoned on to the show. The reason given parenthetically is that the Americans must be racist.

Or have good taste.

Coz the show blows chunks.


4393...Juno Fever In Ottawa

Well, no, not really.


4392...Cut And Paste From The Legendary Punk

Warren Kinsella. In today's Sun's.

Mulcair’s the wrong choice – but hat’s off to the NDP
March 25th, 2012, 12:00 am

Here’s the thing about the NDP.

They suddenly lost their charismatic, talented leader in the summer. They had an interim leader who used to be a card-carrying separatist.
They had a leadership race that was duller than dishwater. They have a caucus bursting at the seams with children, none of whom were expected to get their deposit back, let alone elected. They haven’t said or done anything of significance inside or outside the House of Commons since
May 2011. In fact, they have had a year that has been remarkably unremarkable.

But here’s the thing: As of this week, the pollsters at Environics tell us, they are tied for first place with the governing Conservative party. And their extraordinary victory in last May’s general election, which every pollster and pundit (including this one) regarded as temporary, an anomaly?

Well, it’s increasingly looking like it wasn’t temporary at all.

It is not coz they are so good. It coz everyone else sucks more.


4391...Solving Ontario's Deficit The WFDS Way

Be pragmatic.

For starters use the TVO franchise to generate income.

A great way to do that without angering the ghost of Elwy Yost would be to run infomercials from midnight to six in the morning. TVO's signal doesn't just cover Ontario it also is in a number of big and small markets out side of ON.




A top ten, a top fifty and a top one hundred market.

Yes, yes, yes the chattering classes will be ringing their hands and the oligarchs that run the commercial stations in Ontario will complain to the CRTC.

If cross border shopping is good enough for WNED, WTVS and WPBS it is good enough for us too.

So sad, too bad, let's do it Dalton McGuinty, let's do it.


Tuesday, March 27, 2012

4390...Ontario Budget

Pain for all.

In a lot of respects Premier Dalton McGuinty is the anti-Bob Rae.

Here is what I mean. Premier McGuinty was captain of Ontario when we got in this mess and he is the man who is going to get us out of said mess. Bob Rae got Ontario in a bit of a kerfuffle but wasn't given the to right the ship. Instead Ontario voters mistakenly turned to golf pro Mike Harris and his Common [Non] Sense Revolution which totally f'd up Ontario.

Those who forget history are condemned to repeat it. With that in mind the voters of Ontario were savvy enough to return Premier McGuinty to the Pink Palace; Tim Hudak would have made Mike Harris look like an economic genius.


4389...Ken Gray And Me Gots A Lot In Common

Ken Gray is a columnist/blogger [The Bulldog] for The Ottawa Citizen.

He is also a Carleton Ravens fan and recently he pondered in The Citizen how deep the CIS champion Ravens would go in the NCAA tourney.

He pointed out that the Ravens beat St. Louis not once but twice at Carleton late last summer. The Billikens were ranked 19th on Jeff Sagarin's USA Today computer rankings.

Note to Mr. Gray: next Carleton game come say hello. I sit in The Red Zone under the west end basket. I am easy to spot wearing my black sombrero and holding a Sharpie.


Monday, March 26, 2012

4388...Speaking Of Ships

The good ship Dipper is going to be arranging the deck chairs now that the Thomas Mulcair era is upon us.

First to give up a spot on the deck is Brad Lavigne. Mr. Lavigne told Postmedia that "...he resigned Friday as principal secretary to interim leader Nycole Turmel and that as of Sunday, he was no longer the party's national director."

He didn't openly support anyone but he did give Brian Topp, non winner, a G.


4387...Sink The Bismarck

It is a beer and it is from Scotland's Brewdog and Jeff O'Reilly the beer reviewer for The Metro in Ottawa says it is quite good.

It better be. Available at Pub Italia, just down the way from La Maison WFDS, Sink The Bismarck is 42 per cent alcohol by volume. You are going to need to be feeling a buzz when you get your check. The 375 ml bottle costs 159.99 plus tax plus tip.

225 smackers for a bottle of beer. Methinks if you get the first round...


4386...Except For The Fact He's Wrong He's Right

He would be Newt Gingrich weighing in on the slaying of Trayvon Martin, a young Black man wearing a hoodie by an over zealous Neighbour Hood Watch vigilante George Zimmerman. Not just any Neighbour Hood Watch vigilante by the by; Mr. Zimmerman is a Captain.

Mr. Gingrich who sooooooooo wants to be President of The United States, was on The Sean Hannity show Friday on 77WABC, New York and, in response to Barack Obama saying "If he had a son he would look like Trayvon."

Mr. G went off.

What the president said, in a sense, is disgraceful. It’s not a question of who that young man looked like. Any young American of any ethnic background should be safe, period. We should all be horrified no matter what the ethnic background.

Is the president suggesting that if it had been a white who had been shot, that would be OK because it didn’t look like him. That’s just nonsense dividing this country up. It is a tragedy this young man was shot. It would have been a tragedy if he had been Puerto Rican or Cuban or if he had been white or if he had been Asian American of if he’d been a Native American. At some point, we ought to talk about being Americans. When things go wrong to an American, it is sad for all Americans. Trying to turn it into a racial issue is fundamentally wrong. I really find it appalling.

Mr. Gingrich is wrong coz race does matter both in Florida and on Lakeshore Blvd. in Pointe Claire, La Belle. He is right because it shouldn't. Make no mistake Mr. Speaker this story is all about race.


4385...Here Is What Your PM Thinks Of Hookers

This would be from his hometown paper The Calgary Herald.

"As the prime minister has said, prostitution is bad for society and harmful to communities, women and vulnerable persons," said Justice Minister Rob Nicholson in a statement emailed to Postmedia News. "We are reviewing the decision and our legal options. The Ontario Court of Appeal has affirmed the validity of the ban on solicitation for the purposes of selling sex. We continue to see a social need for laws to control prostitution and its effects on society."

At least he is consistent in his constituency.


4384...Speaking Of Hitler...

Why do potheads celebrate his birthday?


Just strikes me as odd.


4383...Adolph Hitler In The News

You know for a guy who has been dead for sixty plus years and was/is considered the consummate assh*le by 99.99 per cent of those who know him, Adolph Hitler gets a lot of pub.

The latest comes from Turkey via The Huffington Post.

In a master stroke of marketing genius the Turkish shampoo Biomen has put together a commercial that the whole world is viewing and then, in horror, sending it to all their Facebook, YouTube and Hotmail friends. "The company released a commercial for a men's shampoo featuring vintage footage of Hitler making a fiery speech, dubbed with a voiceover saying, 'If you're not wearing women's clothes, you shouldn't be using women's shampoo either. Here it is. A real man's shampoo. Biomen. Real men use Biomen.'"



4382...Generally Speaking The Poor Don't Vote

Therefore it is safe for the Premier of Ontario to freeze the lowest of the low, people on Disability and the working poor, to freeze their income.

Which will be what Dalton McGuinty will do tomorrow in the Ontario budget.

Tough times call for tough measures. Heaven forbid we make those who can afford pay.


Sunday, March 25, 2012

4381...Dick Cheney Gets First Heart


See that is why he wanted to avoid Toronto. The big smoke, er Big Smoke, was going to excite the poor man too much.

The former Veep is resting and will be back doing whatever it is he does sooner rather than later.



Count on the New Democrats to think out side the box with their new leader, Thomas Mulcair.

An old white dude from a big city gets to lead a major political party in Canada.



Saturday, March 24, 2012

4379...i Hope NDP Play The Right Anthem Today

Coz you know they are going to play O'Canada at some point in the proceedings.

Pretty hard to f' up playing the anthem for true but it has happened. Semi-Canadian Robert Goulet went south on the United States anthem back in the early sixties before a boxing match at Madison Square Garden in the Big Apple. If you Google/You Tube anthem fails you will find a number of mess ups.

The most recent anthem error was this week. The Globe and Mail picks up the story:

Kazakhstan’s shooting team demanded an apology after a spoof national anthem from the comedy film Borat was played instead of the real one at a medal ceremony in Kuwait, the BBC reported on Friday.

The team’s coach told Kazakh media the organizers of the Kuwait tournament had downloaded the parody from the internet by mistake and had also got the Serbian national anthem wrong.

Don't you hate when that happens? "The spoof anthem, from the movie featuring British comedian Sacha Baron Cohen “Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan”, praises Kazakhstan for its superior potassium exports and for having the cleanest prostitutes in the region."

At least the spoof anthem is not negative towards Kazakhstan.


4378...A Fan Writes The WFDS

The Mound of Sound Mar 23, 2012 11:16 PM

Hey Dipshit, are you still censoring any comment that shows you're a pompous idiot?

For the record I censor nothing from no one.

Thanks for the input darling.


Friday, March 23, 2012

4377...This Is One Of The Most Important Times

In the history of the Canadian Confederation we may not have had as important a political weekend as this one.

Of course the thing this weekend is the weekend the NDP gets a new leader and Canada gets a new leader of the official opposition.

Whomever it is he/she will have a tremendous responsibility and may have the future of both the Dips and the country in his/her hands.


4376...No Hip Hop With Liquor In Labelle

Not all of Labelle of course, just on the West Island where The Montreal Gazette tells the world that "A landmark Pointe Claire Village bar that was forced to stop selling alcohol in January is expected to get back its liquor licence this week but on the condition that no hip-hop or rap bands play the bar in the future."

Coz that type of music attracts the wrong type of people.

Tinted folks.

Cannot have that, eh?

Seriously, if this happened in the States Reverend Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson would be all over this case.

Please, please, please would someone in Canada's Black community become the lightning rod that is needed illuminate stuff like this that is happening this time on Lakeshore Blvd and the next time perhaps in your town.



It was the cubicle talk all over your capital [and Quebec's third largest city aussi] today.

According to Ashley Madison, and reported widely in the better fishwraps in town [24, Metro, The Ottawa Sun], Ashely Madison being the website for people who like to f*ck around on their partners, Ottawa, little old Ottawa, is the number one city in the country for adultery.

Earlier in the week when Ottawa was ranked the number one place to live in Canada our beloved Mayor, James-call-me-Jim-Watson, was all over it. So was his close friend and cheerleader Warren Kinsella. We get this honour and not a peep out of either of them.

Je suis confused.


Thursday, March 22, 2012

4374...A Ho Is A Ho Unless She Is An Alleged Ho

CBS2 New York reports that "Police on Long Island arrested a Queens woman on Monday for alleged prostitution at a Ronkonkoma massage parlor."

The arrested woman's name is Hulian Ho.

A rose is a rose is a rose.


4373...Russell Barth On Graham James

Russell Barth is a strident pot activist [that is how he describes himself], funnyman and frequent guest on Ottawa's 93.1CKCU.

He is a thoughtful man who had this to say about the pitiful two year sentence career child molester Graham James received earlier this week in Winnipeg.

well, the fact of the matter is, new laws are passing that will implement mandatory minimum sentences for things like drug trafficking and child molestation.
Now a mandatory minimum sentence is a bad thing because it robs the judge of discretion. A sixteen year old guy who has consensual sex with his 15 year old girlfriend is not a sex offender, but he is breaking the law. So is the girl. A grown man fucking kids is a sicko who needs to be caged, possibly forever.
The weird part is new sentencing protocols force judges to impose a sentence that may be far too much for the offense, or far too little.

For example, if you get popped growing a single pot plant for you and your girl to toke for fun - 9 months in a cage. No ifs ands or buts, just jail.
Pass a joint or hook up a buddy with a single joint near a mall? That is trafficking - six months in the cage.

BUt if you are an adult who forces a five year old girl to accept vaginal penetration from the penis of a living canine..... you are only facing 3-6 months in a cage.

This, to me, suggests that Harper feels pot growing is worse that getting some child to fuck a dog.

Imagine what he puts his own kids through.

Also, Harper knows that jail means lots of rape. So really, he is using his pot laws to rape thousands of people with OTHER INMATE'S DICKS!

Consider also that his voter bas - the really loyal voter base - have similar attitudes about women and kids in regards to sex and "consent" - yes, I am implying that CPC voters are child molesting rapist hillbillies - ......

Richard Schimelfenig of Delaware approves this message.


4372...The Exodus Has Begun

Ah if you were at Uplands, the Ottawa Airport, sorry, Ottawa International Airport, this morning you would have seen all the smart boys and girls from Team Orange making their way to the big convention in Toronto.

This is a big weekend for the New Democratic Party. It is the weekend that they pick their next leader. A leader that could make or break their party.

Personally I am hoping for Paul Dewar, the Ottawa Centre MP.


Wednesday, March 21, 2012

4371...Just When I Thought It Was Safe To Get TV

Like reconnected, I got a bit behind on my Rogers bill, like 1,800 dollars or something and the pricks cut it off.

Yes Rogers has no soul.

Anyhow, just when I am ready to rejoin the living and get me some real TV I read this quote from Jeff Foxworthy on "I am excited to be hosting a show about the bestselling book of all time. It will be interesting to find out what people really know, and an opportunity to present the Bible in a fun and entertaining way."

Mr. Foxworthy is going to be hosting a game show on GSN based on the Bible. The American Bible Challenge shoots its pilot next month.

These truly are the end days.


4370...Job Opening In New Orleans

They don't f' around in the National Football League.

radio, the radio station of record in New Orleans, reports that the NFL ain't playing. In fact they, the NFL, have just suspended Sean Payton, head coach of the New Orleans Saints, for a year and former assistant Greg Williams indefinitely for allowing bounties on their NFL team.

The NFL also yanked a couple of second round draft choices, the lack of which could change the Saints back into the 'aints.


4369...We All Should Be Toronto Coppers

According to the Toronto Sun over 2,000 Toronto Police made the Province of Ontario's Sunshine List.

The way you make the Sunshine List is by earning 100,000.00 dollars and up.

Boyz in blue.


4368...Warning For Syracuse Fans In Ontario/FLA

Tennessee fans too. Texas, Florida and Clemson fans beware.

Here is a cut and paste from The Toronto Star:

Fourteen employees at a Florida law firm are claiming they have been fired for wearing orange shirts.

The group all wear the shirts on pay-day Friday’s because they go out to Happy Hour together after work, they told the Ft. Lauderdale Sun-Sentinel.

The tradition had gone on for a few months before management at the law firm of Elizabeth R. Wellborn called them into a conference room last Friday and fired them for being involved in a protest by wearing orange.

“There is no office policy against wearing orange shirts. We had no warning. We got no severance, no package, no nothing,” said Lou Erik Ambert, 31, a litigation paralegal to the Sun-Sentinel. “I feel so violated.”

But since Florida is an “at-will” employment state, companies “can fire for good reason, for bad reason, or for no reason at all, if the reason is not illegal,” said Allan Weitzman, a board certified attorney in labor and employment law at Prosakauer Rose LLP in Boca Raton to ABC News.

If your boss doesn’t like the colour of your shirt, that’s a legal firing reason, as is protesting by wearing it.

Although, as ABC points out, if the employees had been protesting working conditions, their protest would have been protected under federal law.

Under Ontario common law non-unionized workers can be terminated for wearing orange too, according to labour law expert David Doorey. The only difference is that the employer in Ontario would have to provide notice of the termination, he wrote in a blog post.

The exception would be if wearing orange were required for religious reasons, or if the colour was being worn as part of a trade union support activity.

Good thing I don't have a job, eh?


4367...Dya Know What Today Is?

Today is International Day for the Elimination of Racial Discrimination.

I am going to mention that when I go play basketball tonight becuz they a l w a y s discriminate against me becuz I am white. And short. And fat. And old. And have a two inch vertical.

Of course there will be a parade this Saturday.

Personal friend of mine Jenn Farr sends this link:

Look for me in the rainbow sombrero.


4366...This Is Why We Should Elect Judges

Because of this woman: Manitoba provincial court Judge Catherine Carlson.

She is the brainiac who sentenced three time convicted child molester Graham James, diddler to the stars, to two years in jail.

Two years in jail, by the by, means that he may be home molesting children by Christmas.

This is why we should elect judges.


Tuesday, March 20, 2012

4365...In A Country Full Of Crappy Places To Live

Ottawa came out number one.

Our mayor Jim Watson was so happy, excited, ecstatic about the whole thing you would think he was hitting a porn star on a regular basis.

My sources tell me he is not.

Regina came number five. The city motto is "Come for the weather; stay for the stabbings."

Winnipeg is ninth.

Weird list.


4364...Whither Tim Tebow Goeth

Geez I hope I got that correct spelling wise or else Richard Schimelfenig of Delaware will be all over my case.

Nonetheless if you care about these things you know that Peyton Manning, the Manning QB with one Super Bowl ring, is off to Denver, five years and 95 million, to weave his magic.

The whole wide world is saying that that is the end of Tim Tebow and Tebowing and Tebowmania.

I am not the whole world.

As former Montreal Alouette and Buffalo Bill coach Marv Levy often said "A back up quarter back is like a parachute; you never want to use it but when you want to use it it better be good." Frank Reich was a great parachute during the Jim Kelly era; no reason Tim Tebow cannot be a great parachute during the Peyton Manning era.

Another problem solved.

Have John Fox and John Elway send me a Tebow and a Peyton jersey, k?


4363...Wild Rose Bus Bust

You know what I am talking about. The picture of Alberta Wild Rose leader Danielle Smith poised over the wheels of the Wild Rose tour bus with the wheels taking the place of her boobs.

Dya think this was a mistake, as the Wildrosers are claiming?

Or dya think it were a clever plan to, ooops, get Wildrose in every paper and on every news cast extant.

Without spending a loonie.

Well played Ms. Smith, well played.


4362...More On Graham James

On the record I believe that mandatory sentencing is both insane and has been proven to not work in The States.

Additionally I think that three strikes laws are ludicrous.

But in this case, well Graham James cannot seem to A/keep it in his pants and B/out of teenage boys.

Two years? Seriously, if there was ever a case for the throw away the book sentence, this is it.

He is going to get out in four months, get a passport and move to Thailand and f*ck little boys for the rest of his life.

Thanks Stephen Harper; thanks Vic Toews.


4361...Richard Schimelfenig Where Are You?

Richard Schimelfenig of Delaware is one of those gutless pseudo revolutionaries who, when losing at anything, which he should be used to by now, just hides.

Thanks for George Bush btw, both of them.

And all the wars.


4360...Tough On Crime Tories Not Tough On Pedo

Graham James, a serial child f*cker, has just been sentenced to two years in jail in Canada's head copper, Vic Toews, hometown of Winnipeg.

Good thing he wasn't smoking a joint at the time or he'd be in big trouble, eh Vic?

We are getting the Canada we deserve; Stop Stephen Harper.


4359...Do You Think Don Cherry Still Loves Him?

Now that he is 64?

Happy birthday to the greatest defenseman ever, Bobby Orr.


4358...This Is What Makes Ottawa Cool

Saturday night at The Bank there was an old story told but with a delightful twist.

The old story was the proposal during a major sporting event story. Reported widely including in your town and on your TV stations the twist on this one was that it wasn't the old boy asks girl proposal.


It was the not-so-old and legal only in Canada and 8 states girl asks girl proposal.

During a break in play at the Battle of Ontario, Alicia, Toronto Maple Leafs fan, was brought out on the ice where her girlfriend Christina, an Ottawa Senators fan, surprised her with a proposal. Alicia said yes!

In another twist both girls are hotties.


4357...Apparently War Makes U Kill U

The source is a web sit called and I got linked to it by Russell Barth soooooooooooo there is a bias but if it is to be believed the big killer over there is suicide.

For the second year (2010) in a row, more US soldiers killed themselves (468) than died in combat (462). “If you… know the one thing that causes people to commit suicide, please let us know,” General Peter Chiarelli told the Army Times, “because we don’t know.” Suicide is a tragic but predictable human reaction to being asked to kill – and watch your friends be killed – particularly when it’s for a war based on lies. Perhaps being required to bag the mangled flesh of fellow soldiers could be another reason that some are committing suicide.

General Chiarelli by the way was the Vice Chief of staff from '08 til retiring in January of this year.


Monday, March 19, 2012

4356...Are You That Three In 6.45 Million?

My buddy Len Berman passes this gem from the NCAA's March Madness along:

2. Sweet 16

So who had #10 Xavier, #11 North Carolina State and #13 Ohio in their Sweet 16? Out of 6.45 million brackets filled out at exactly 3 people correctly guessed all 16 teams. Four teams from the Big Ten and four teams from the Big East made it, then again there are hundreds of schools in those two conferences right? And we now know the capital of the basketball world. It's Ohio. A quarter of the Sweet 16 is from the Buckeye State.

Are you that three in 6.45 million?


4355...The Problem With The Dippers

Is that they would rather be right than win.

That is why Ed Broadbent and the other failures/establishment of the NDP don't like Thomas Mulcair.

He wants to win.

The horror.


4354...Mike And Molly: What If

One the mega fat stars of the CBS comedy lose a big chunk of weight?

And we don't have super fat cops in Ottawa or Gatineau or Montreal; are super fat cops allowed in Chicago?

These are the things that keep me awake at night.


4353...Mound Of Sound: Here Is Why Ed B Sucked

Ed B is Ed Broadbent and I said that he failed.

Here is why.

He never got in power.

That's why they keep score; silver medal is for the first loser.


Sunday, March 18, 2012

4352...Cures For Hangovers That Work

It is the day after the Alcoholic Super Bowl aka St. Patrick's Day.

There are only two known cures for hangovers that work.

One is time.

The other is to continue imbibing.

The second one is better than the first one.


4351...Ed Broadbent Team Player

Ed Broadbent, former leader of the NDP and the worst, w o r s t MP in Canadian history, is trying to throw the probable new leader of the Dippers under the bus.

The new leader Thomas Mulcair, er, probable new leader, wants to be Prime Minister.

Crazy idea dat!

Mr. Broadbent was a failure to the nth degree.

Hence the hate.

I could write 3,000 words on this but I am not Chantal Hebert et. al.


Saturday, March 17, 2012

4350...NDP PDN DNP Whatever It Is Called

Is sinking like a stone in Quebec.

The poll by somebody reported everywhere has the Bloc Quebecois in first place.

Jack Layton is either churning in his urn or spinning in his grave.


4349...Front Page Today's Ottawa Citizen

With a picture and everything is the news that super old and super involved Ottawa citizen Grete Hale is petitioning the City of Ottawa to stop the construction of a ten story condoish building on Beechwood, a street that sorta is the border between Vanier to the south and New Edinburgh and Rockliffe to the north.

Why does Ms. Hale want to stop the building of this building?

Coz it blocks the view of the Parliament Buildings.

It blocks the view of the Parliament Buildings when one is in Beechwood Cemetery.

That is right; this building will block the view from a cemetery.

Dead people won't be able to see the Parliament Buildings.

Ottawa, where the unthinkable happens on a regular basis.


4348...Happy Birthday Patrick

St. Patrick that is.

The patron Saint of Ireland turns, uh, I dunno, like 1,600 hundred or something today.

Same a prayer for me when you are at church, k?

Have a drink or three too!


Thursday, March 15, 2012

4347...Wayne and Shuster's Career Made

On this day in 44 BC.

Julius Caesar got it bad and the Toronto comedy duo got the basis for their signature bit.

It is an ill wind that doesn't blow good for someone.


4346...Rush Limbaugh Controversy

It is similar to what is happening at St. Paul's in Ottawa.

Sandra Fluke is a 30 year old student at Georgetown University, a Roman Catholic University in Washington, District of Columbia. On Henri Richard's birthday, February 29, 2012, a controversy erupted regarding her and the loud mouth Tory [they call them Republicans in the Lower 48 but a rose is a rose is a rose] Rush Limbaugh who had the temerity to disrespect Ms. Fluke because of what she said in a government hearing.

To wit when speaking before the House Democratic Steering and Policy Committee in a hearing that was recorded but not televised Ms. Fluke, a practicing Protestant, argued in favor of requiring religious institutions, including those with moral objections to some or all contraception, to provide free contraception in their health insurance. She said that over the three years as a law student, birth control could cost $3,000.

Mr. Limbaugh called her a slut.


This is actually what he said on his radio program:

What does it say about the college coed Susan Fluke [sic], who goes before a congressional committee and essentially says that she must be paid to have sex? What does that make her? It makes her a slut, right? It makes her a prostitute. She wants to be paid to have sex.

Can you imagine if you're her parents how proud of Sandra Fluke you would be? Your daughter goes up to a congressional hearing conducted by the Botox-filled Nancy Pelosi and testifies she's having so much sex she can't afford her own birth control pills and she agrees that Obama should provide them, or the Pope.

Here is what I say.

If you for a second think that the above diatribe just flew out of the man's mouth I want you to send me half the money you won this morning in the Nigerian Lotto. Mr. Limbaugh isn't some small time talk show host on a local station. He is the man. And if you think for a second that the man is not scripted, well, again, send your cash to me, in care of here. That address once again is me, in care of here.

Why would he do that? Well this is the era of the PPM, which is a pager like device that measures the listening habits of listeners for ratings. Je suis willing to wager that his numbers spiked in March and a lot of those ears were outside his usual demos. Sure they have lost broadcasters but this is America, not Halifax. There is an endless supply of folks who want to sell stuff and if Mr. Limbaugh can bring the numbers to the wireless that is all that counts. This ain't the CBC.

I think he was wrong but I don't think he misspoke.

This doesn't let Ms. Fluke off the hook though. Why in the name of Jesus, Mary and Joesph would someone who wants her school to pay for her contraception, a concept that I fully endorse and have used at my alma mater Carleton University in Ottawa, go to a Roman Catholic uni? Give your head a big f'ing shake girl. Big shake.

I know we, Catholics, use contraception at the same level as the rest of the USA/Canada but officially it is against the rules.

So why?


4347...Big Story In Ottawa: RC Uni Bans Condoms

F*ck you'd think that world had stopped spinning.

Folks, get a grip, okay? Yes St. Paul's [Catholic] University in Ottawa, Ontario doesn't want condoms distributed on campus. Front page news in your capital.

This is getting a lot of the more self righteous of y'all y'all all twisted and frankly I don't understand this. Any sentinent person should be able to grasp that if you are going to an RC school no birth control, that includes condoms. It is not like we are living in a vacumm; there are plenty of secular unis around. And, yes, I know a lot of RCs, myself included, use condoms, and not just for water balloons either but the fact is the offical rules say no. So go to Carleton or UQAO or U of Ottawa or any non Catholic school.

Another problem solved.


4346...March Madness In Hours

This is a good day.

Go Orange.


4345...Mea Culpa Albert Einstein

Albert Einstein, the smarty pants of smarty pantses, had a birthday yesterday.

He is still dead so no candles.

Interesting fact: he was a big Soupy Sales fan. Soupy Sales was the inventor of the pie in the face. Hey, someone had to be the first, right?

Another interesting fact is that Albert Brooks, the super cerebral comic who was bigger then than he is now, well his real name is, wait for it, Albert Einstein.

And Albert Brooks brother Bob Einstein is better known as Super Dave Osborne.



Wednesday, March 14, 2012

4344...Bobby Valentine Is More Than Baseball

The new skipper of the Boston Red Sox is also the inventor of the Wrap.

Bobby Valentine told the New York Times
that he invented it back in the early '80s at his restaurant in Stamford, Connecticut. The reason it was invented was coz his four dollar toaster broke down and he had no way to toast bread when his banker ordered a club sandwich. So Mr. Valentine Tex-Mexed and wrapped the club in a tortilla.



4343...The Girl Scouts Are More Than Cookies

They are also a breeding ground for lesbianism and abortions.

Yeah, I know, the above two sorta counter each other but this isn't my idea, k?

The brainiac that came up with this theory is Bob Morris, an Assemblyman in Indiana. Mr. Morris has been castigated by pretty much everyone inside and outside his party which, surprise, is the Republican Party.

Mr. Morris told The Associated Press that people, that is you and I, have to do more research into the Girl Scouts.

I am researching a box of their cookies as I write this.


Tuesday, March 13, 2012

4342...NDP Coronation Is Soon

I think the big money is on the boy from Outremont, Thomas [call me Thomas] Mulcair.

I am hoping Paul Dewar wins just coz he waves at me when I see him.

I am so vain.


4341...Fab Melo: Why He Is Out/I Scoop ESPN

The WFDS scoops them all.

Fab Melo, the seven foot centre [hey, I am a Canuck, that is how we spell centre here] is out of the NCAA tourney, killing Syracuse's chance to win it all in the process, for one reason and one reason only.

No, he wasn't skipping classes.

No, he wasn't smoking weed.

He has an agent. I have an impeccable source, impeccable, who informs me that Mr. Melo has had an agent since he popped out of the womb. Well perhaps not that long.

He has had one since before he left Brazil for Miami, FLA and then the Orange.

If I know it, they know it.


4339...In PM Harper's AB It's Okay To Hit Women

That is what almost one in ten men in Stephen Harper's stomping grounds in Alberta say.

Amanda Stephenson at Postmedia News and The Calgary Herald reports that "The telephone survey, conducted in February by Leger Marketing, quizzed 1,000 Alberta men about their attitudes on gender equity and domestic violence."

Over one in five men in Alberta think it is okay to slap a kid in the face.

It is not surprising to note that Alberta [and Saskatchewan] have the highest rates of domestic violence in Canada.


4338...30 Rock Is Doomed

The NBC show 30 Rock is now officially doomed.

Russell Barth, the prolific Nepean based social critic, has turned on the Emmy winning show because one of the stars, Alec Baldwin, Tweeted that he is not in favour of legalizing pot.

I am going to miss that show.


4337...Greatest Political Movie Ever

"Leave the gun, take the canolli."

The greatest political film of all time, The Godfather, opened this week in 1972.


Monday, March 12, 2012

4336...St. Paddy's Day Fiasco

I am as Irish as Paddy's Pig.

My friend and neighbour Jenn Farr says I could be a leprecaun.

I am also proudish of being Irish Catholic.

One of the things that makes me the most proudish is the fact that I/we don't care that every city has a high school that calls itself The Fighting Irish, which, of course, is a stereotype. One that one could construe as being negative. Nor do I/we mind that the world co-opts our patron saint's holiday, March 17, as the ultimate throw up on your shoes day.

At least not til now.

The Associated Press reports that long time Democrat Congressman Joe Crowley, the co-chair of the legislature's ad hoc committee on Irish affairs is pissed, not alcoholically but madly, coz Urban Outfitters, a store, is selling St. Pat's tees that say things like "Irish I Was Drinking" and "Kiss Me, I Am Irish, Or Drunk, Whatever".

Here is a word to Mr. Crowley from a pure one hundred per cent Irish Catholic: STFU.


4335...The Death Penalty

Front page of The Ottawa Sun was one of those lethal injection beds.

Apparently Canadians want the death penalty back.

Thing is the death penalty doesn't stop folks from killing. And it is more expensive than putting folks, I'm talking about you Russell Williams and you Paul Bernardo, in the big house forever.

Just wanted to point that out.


4333...34 And Oh

That is alma mater's record against CIS competition in men's basketball.

Last night Carleton won their 8th national championship in 10 years by wiping out the number two team in the country, Greg Francis' Alberta Golden Bears, by 19 points.

Coach Dave Smart now has his fingers full of rings. Next year it one for the thumb.


Sunday, March 11, 2012

4332...Stephen Hawking Comes To Canada

Well, sorta.

Stephen Hawking, who is pretty much the world's smartest septuagenarian, is going to be coming to Canada thru Our Home And Native Land's favourite TV show Big Bang Theory.

I pulled this off "As first reported by TV Guide Canada, Hawking filmed a scene with Jim Parsons, a.k.a. Sheldon, Friday for the show's April 5 episode. In the scene, Hawking has a 'run-in' with Sheldon."

Move over Don Cherry.


4331...Step Up To The Plate Pierre Poutine

Poutine, for those of you out of the know, is not only a tasty Quebecois dish, hailing from the home town of Johnny C, Shawinigan, it is also the Quebecois word for mess.

The anglais word for mess is, of course, Robocall.

A minute or three ago The Ottawa Citizen online dropped the knowledge that "The news that Elections Canada investigators are aware of the IP address that “Pierre Poutine” used to set up the Guelph robocall account has convinced a suspect to step forward and accept responsibility for the deceptive calls, sources say."

The story by Stephen Maher and Glen McGregor goes on to note that "...the CEO of RackNine, Matt Meier, was able to trace Poutine’s electronic trail back to a specific Internet Protocol (IP) address, which is apparently assigned to a single home. Sources say that revelation has now convinced someone to step forward and own up to the scheme."

In a town, a province, a country where political stories have a three day arc [remember The Drummond Report? Me neither.] this puppy has legs.


Saturday, March 10, 2012

4330...The Tories Keep Stepping In It

Boy oh boy oh boy oh boy.

CBC News reports that the Vaughn executive of the Conservative Party, sanctimonious Julian Fantino's riding, has a few hundred thousand extra shekels in a secret bank account.

Robocall is the tip of the iceberg.


Friday, March 9, 2012

4329...Kevin Gregson On Affirmative Action

For those of you outside of Ottawa Kevin Gregson is the RCMP officer who killed Ottawa Police Constable Eric Czapnik on December 29, 2019.

"I killed him, but I didn't murder him" are Mr. Gregson's exact words, bannered in the Ottawa Metro today and uttered in court yesterday.

Mr. Gregson, an admitted f*ck up, also admitted something else in court. He shouldn't have been an RCMP officer. He says he smoked dope and drank his way to a C/D average at Merivale High School in Ottawa and only became a copper, his words, on "...the Native ticket..."

Affirmative action.

You know, it works, affirmative action, if all things are equal. Like abilities. But if they are not, the results may be tragic. Just ask Mr. Gregson.


4328...And No One Gives A F*ck

I am on the campus of Canada's 46th best university, Carleton, and the buzz is non existent.

One would think that there would be a bit of buzz due to the fat that the men's basketball team is getting ready to go for their 8th national championship in ten years.

8 out of 10.

Pretty f*cking amazing.

Here on campus, a 27,000 student strong campus, zero sign of this momentous event.

Like nothing. No banners, no nothing. In fact in the time I have been here I haven't seen one person even wearing a piece of Carleton swag.

Why does this matter? Ultimately people don't get nostalgic about that 8 30 in the morning history class on Tuesdays. They do get nostalgic [and open their check books while basking in same said nostalgia] about the peripherals at school. Girls, boys, bars, parties, athletics.

Bear Bryant said it best. When asked why football was so important at Alabama the great man said it was "Because no one cheers for the math department."

Carleton has squandered a golden opportunity to increase the profile of their institution in much the same way that Ray Heard's alma mater, Harvard, has used hockey, football and now Lin Sanity to raise its profile.


Thursday, March 8, 2012

4327...We Need More Immigrants

Lots more.

What brings this up is the CNN piece online a couple of days ago that posed the question "Is Canada the next superpower?" Well kiddies if we are going to be a big player we need to fill up the empty spaces with bodies. Breathing and contributing bodies.

More, more and more.


4326...Fact Of The Matter Is

No matter how severe a crisis Robocall is, and it is severe, this is Canada and no one will get lined up against a wall and get shot.

Ist gut.


4325...International Women's Day

I am going to wear a dress to Starbucks.

Hoping for free coffee.

Fingers crossed.


4324...Teflon Is The New Black

And the Conservatives are wearing it.

Yesterday in The Toronto Star Chantal Hebert reported that "According to Ekos and Nanos, the robocall saga has so far had no impact on Conservative fortunes."

Hey, Archie Bunker liked Richard E. Nixon to the end too.


4323...Israeli Apartheid Week = Antisemitism?

I know that it is Israeli Apartheid Week, at least at Carleton University and the University of Ottawa.

My question is is Israeli Apartheid Week just antisemitism dressed up in a different set of clothes.

Just asking.


Wednesday, March 7, 2012

4322...Lin Sanity Ish

Jeremy Lin's alma mater, Harvard, has made the NCAA tourney for the first time since 1946.


4321...David Suziki Update

The great man has come forth on and announced that "Canadians wanting to do something about the environment can start by drinking tap water..."

How edgy, avant garde and ahead of the curve.



Tuesday, March 6, 2012

4320...Sad Day

I never thought I would see this. I was at Billings Bridge, a mall in Ottawa, and I saw Habs merchandise on sale.

On Sale!!! In March!!!

Like ridiculously on sale.

A 19.99 car flag was 4.99.

These are the end days.


4219...Monte Solberg Says

In yesterday's Ottawa Sun re the Robocall issue that, I paraphrase, there are so many more important issues to deal with and we, as in they, should not let Robocall hold up the good work of the government.

Uh, no.

If the Tories wanted to continue the good work of the government they would come clean about their malfeasance and then we/they could get on with governance.

Recall please Prime Minister what George Satayana said: Those who forget history are condemned to repeat it.

Here is a parallel case. Watergate. If Richard Nixon had of come clean right away he quite possibly could have served out his term, a term that would have ended in January of '77. If he had of done so the USA would have avoided having their first non elected President, Gerald Ford. Jimmy Carter, one of the worst Presidents ever, would most likely not have been elected in '76. President Carter laid the ground work for the mess that was Reagan/Bush.

All for the wont of a nail.


4218...Nixon Didn't Go To Jail

But if Stephen Harper and the Gang ram thru their anti crime leg methinks that they could.

They are shaping up to be pretty bad dudes and other bad dudes are recognizing such. In a Globe and Mail article Canada: Robo-calls is worse than Watergate "Donald Segretti, jailed for his role in Watergate, says their dirty-tricks campaign was designed to disrupt the Democrats, not hoodwink voters."

Nice, even convicted felons think you are dirty.


Monday, March 5, 2012

4217...The Canadian Nixon

A headline to warm the heart in today's The Guardian On Facebook.

The Guardian
is a serious left leaning rag and it starts the article by Dimitry Anastakis and Jeet Heer with the following bon mots:

Stephen Harper's feud with Elections Canada is just the latest front in his war against government institutions

So nice, makes me so very proud to be Canuckistanian.

And he is a Leafs fan to boot.


4216...Biggest Trade In Baseball History

Was on this day in 1973.

On that day New York Yankees pitchers Fritz Peterson and Mike Kekich announced that they were swapping wives and families.

I recall that they only mammals that were not moved in this blockbuster trade were the dogs and cats coz they were dogs and cats and they do what they do.


4215...Don Cherry Educates The Masses

One can make an empirical argument that the centre of the hockey world, the place that produces the most players, is Ontario.

An example thereof is the fact that in 1992 a full five percent, that is 1/20, pro hockey players in North America were from the Ottawa region. Mix in Toronto and the rest and, well, you get it. I get. Brian Burke, not so much.

I was pretty amazed when reading Canoe - Slam! this morning that I came across this quote from Don Cherry: "Every team in the National Hockey League has a guy from Ontario except one. Guess who it is? It’s Ontario’s Toronto Maple Leafs."

I am not jingoistic and Lord knows I abhor enforced quotas like Can con and the non-import rule in the CFL but Jesus, Mary and Joseph the best players come from Ontario.

Plus you suck as a General Manager Mr. Burke, missing the playoffs every year and all that. At least suck with homeboys.



OFSAA AAAA is the provincial basketball championships and they are in your capital this year!!!

Finals are at Carleton University on Wednesday but the premlims are today and tomorrow.

Look for me at Hillcrest this afternoon as the St. Pat's Fighting Irish, led by Marial Shayok, look to run the table.


4313...Bob Rae Makes A Funny On Facebook

Bob Rae, Facebook friend of mine, is not funny in the Chris Rock way but I did bust a gut when I read this first thing this morning:

Bob Rae
Guy Giorno backs up Mr Harper on robo-calls and Conservative that's a real surprise

Note to Mr. Giorno and the Prime Minister: What a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive.


Sunday, March 4, 2012

4312...Inside Baseball

Perhaps this Fone Fraud Fiasco [hey, I tried] also known as Robocall hasn't resonated with the average Canuckistanian.

In polling results released on Facebook about an hour ago Nik Nanos offers up this:

National Ballot CP 35.7%, LP 29.5%, NDP 25.0%, BQ 4.9%
Support for the federal Conservatives remains steady with a six-point lead over the Liberals and a ten-point edge on the NDP. The furor over the "robocalls" scandals has not, as yet, translated into a loss of public support for any of the major parties at the national leve

Could this be another inside the Beltway story?


4311...Spanking To Be Verboten?

Apparently it is in other places including Germany. I found that kind of surprising considering Germany's long history of being, uh, well, violent. Nonetheless according to the front page article in the Sunday Citizen that is the way we are heading here.

I have never had kids but I have babysat a lot of kids, cousins, friends kids etcetera and I have never once resorted to spanking or slapping or any form of corporal punishment.

I have, on the other hand, threatened. I find that works.

Sharing I am.


4310...Love Story

Was a sappy film that was all the rage 40 plus years ago.

Roy MacGregor wrote a great piece in The Globe And Mail yesterday about David Johnston, our Governor General, who was referenced in that flick.

What I didn't know about Mr. GG was that he was quite the hockey star, captaining the Crimson of Harvard and being named an All-American twice.

For those of you that don't follow NCAA hockey, Harvard is a big time program. They've won the championship at least once and cranked out a lot of great players and managers such as Boston Bruin general manager and former Harvard captain Peter Chiarelli.

Mr. Johnson did not go on to the NHL but he seems to have made out okay.

He also exhibited a sense of humour to Mr. McGregor. The pair were skating around the big old rink at Rideau Hall and the GG told the writer that ""If you bodycheck me...that fellow over there will shoot you.'He points with his stick toward a large man wearing a snow-dusted overcoat over his weaponry: RCMP security. The man smiles and nods back, as if in agreement. I back off."


Saturday, March 3, 2012

4309...Baptizing The Dead

It's one of the quirks of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, the Mormons.

Deal is you can baptize your dead relatives and they get to go to Celestial Heaven. I think Celestial Heaven is the top heaven in Mormonism; I know there are three levels plus Outer Darkness. When I was dabbling in that church the way I remember the three levels of heaven plus Outer Darkness was by thinking of level one as having all the TV channels, all, like you would with a dish that was totally unblocked. Level two was decent cable. Three was rabbit ears. Outer Darkness was no TV at all.

Anyhow I was checking out the New York Times today and apparently some Mormons have gone a bit over the top and are baptizing everybody. Even Holocaust victims like Anne Frank. And others. This, understandably, is ruffling some Jewish feathers and is supposed to stop. Will it, well, may be.

The best reaction to this comes from "Anthony Hecht, the chief technology officer for The Stranger, a weekly newspaper in Seattle, [who] decided to fight back by offering conversions to dead Mormons — not to a new religion, but to homosexuality. Last week, he started the Web site

'Sadly, many Mormons throughout history have died without having known the joys of homosexuality,' the site reads. 'With your help, these poor souls can be saved. Simply enter the name of your favorite dead Mormon in the form below and click ‘Convert’! Presto, they’re gay for eternity. There is no undo.'

600,000 hits later...


4308...Why Quebec City Will Fail In The NHL

For the same reason Winnipeg is going to lose its team within twenty years.

How are you going to convince your wife to live there?

Winnipeg and Quebec City have different issues but ultimately they are both backwaters with little or nothing to do for the wife and kids. And they, the wife and kids, are the ones that have to live there.

Quebec is French to the max which is charming if you are a tourist, not so charming if you grew up elsewhere on the planet and now have to deal with a language that is not yours.

The weather sucks hugely too.

Same deal in Winnipeg in terms of weather. No language problem but that is replaced with a ridiculously high crime rate. They don't play in Winnipeg.

You can hate on me for this if you wish but historically both towns have not been uber successful in attracting star players coz of the following three keys:




See Eric Lindros and Ralph Call Me Dieter Brock for proof.


4307...Pat Martin Checks In

With the quote of the week.

"Only dope dealers and Hell's Angels and Tony Soprano use burner cellphones."

Via Russell Barth.


4306...They Are Crying In Thunder Bay

Big tears.

Mighty Casey has struck out.

Mighty Casey in this case is the Lakehead University men's basketball team, ranked number two in Canada. At Waterloo last night they got beat by Ryerson University by a score of 86/76. If there was a line on the game [there wasn't] Lakehead would have been 22 point faves.

The madness that is March.

Just ask Julie.


4305...Paul Dewar Helps Circle The Wagons

I heard the Ottawa Centre NDP MP and candidate for Leader of the Opposition with Evan Solomon on CBC One today.

Man, he sounds like a statesman, for true.

When the subject of frontrunner Thomas Muclair's dalliance with the Tories a few years back, his alleged dalliance, Mr. Dewar said that Dipper Nation was on point with the Outremont MP.

Then they moved on.

As they should.


Friday, March 2, 2012

4304...Maybe He Was Hungover

People are so quick to judge. It is galling.

Take the current case of Rob Anders. Mr. Anders, the hard working MP for Calgary West, a Tory he is, is being castigated coz he had the temerity to fall asleep during a committee style meeting with veterans in Halifax.

Jim Lowther, prez of the Veterans Emergency Transition Services, was quoted by QMI Agency as saying that "...he was disappointed with Anders, who he claims showed up late, typed on his phone, fell asleep and left quickly."

Like I said, don't be so quick to judge. May be he was hung over.


4303...Tories Tell A Nosestretcher

Blaming the victim, and this was reported everywhere, everywhere, "Prime Minister Stephen Harper said it is up to the Liberals to prove that they were not the real culprits." in the Fone Fraud Fiasco, better known as Robocall.

Yeah, that makes no sense but it will buy the bad guys a bit of time.

Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely.


4302...Thomas Mulcair: Opportunist

John Ivison in Friday's National Post says as much.


A politician, a Quebec politician, being opportunistic.

Non issue folks.


4301...The Sun Has Credibility Issues

I like the Suns, don't get me wrong, read The Ottawa Sun everyday but they have a credibility problem.

It is about a subject I understand, an area that Red Smith of The New York Times called "The toy department of life."


Let me set the stage. Quebec City is horny for a hockey team. Yesterday if possible. Even though they did not support the Nordiques last time out; no they did not, they wouldn't have moved to Denver, Colorado if they were killing it in QC; the boss, Pierre Karl Peladeau wants a hockey team so The Suns, QMI Agency and other Quebecor properties such as Le Journal de Montreal, TVA, TVA Sports et. al. have become very jingoistic in their support for da dream of da boss.

In today's paper Rejean Tremblay, the star hockey guy for Quebecor's french outlets, ends his piece on the probable demise and relocation of the Phoenix Coyotes thus:

My feeling after speaking with the commissioner [Mr. Tremblay went to NYC to meet Gary Bettman] and a few of his lieutenants? If the Phoenix Coyotes have to leave in the spring they will end up in Quebec. Even the people in his office are dreaming about it.

Wow. Mr. Tremblay can see what others are dreaming about. He is both a great hockey writer and a sikeik.

Or, like his coworker for Quebecor, Chris Stevenson, he is making things up. I will take door number two, making things up. Mr. Stevenson, who writes for the biggest paper in the group, The Toronto Sun, wrote a story a couple of weeks ago where he outlined the cities where the Coyotes could end up [Seattle, Kansas City, Las Vegas and Quebec City] and their market sizes. According to Baldylocks the hometown of da boss is 1.7 million. Yeah, not even close. The folks at Stats Can have QC Metro at a tad under 800 K, a discrep of a lot. He also under estimated the metro of KC by 400 K and Seattle by 100K.

Why is this important? I mean it is only sports and who hasn't kissed the bosses ass? I mean sucked up to the boss. Well here is why it is important. If they, Quebecor/TVA/The Suns/QMI cannot get easily verifiable facts correct, cannot even come close, how do we know that they are not making stuff up regarding not so easily verifiable facts such as crime statistics, Keystone, the oil sands and other issues of importance.

In many ways the sports pages are not just the toy department of the journalistic world but they are also the canaries in the mine.


4300...Not Even One Last Chance Against MTL

For Ron Wilson.

It is right there on the website: "Ron Wilson's tenure as head coach of the Toronto Maple Leafs has come to an end, according to TSN."

He obviously sucked the pipe as a coach but, geez, it is March, eh? 15 games to play and you blow him out now?

Then again they are only 5 points, 2.5 games, out of the playoffs...

No replacement has been named giving the country another reason to watch the Leafs go into the Bell Centre [I think that is what they call it] in MTL tomorrow night to play the Habs on Hockey Night In Canada.


4299...More Useless Cocktail Party Chatter

Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu's nick name is Bibi.

The Ottawa Senator's captain, Daniel Alfredsson's wife's nick name is Bibi.

Coincidence? I think so.


4298...Bibi Snarls Traffic In Your Capital

Love him or hate him enough of you hate him to make security uber tight in Ottawa's downtown core today.

He, of course, is the boss of bosses in Israel, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu.

For conspiracy freaks there were actual Black Helicopters over Parliament Hill this day too!!!


Thursday, March 1, 2012

4297...Useless But Fun Info Pour Vous

Davy Jones, who just passed, was a member of The Monkees.

For those of you not up on music trivia, The Monkees were a fabricated group that, kind of, imitated The Beatles.

Here is the cool fact that I saw in one of obits for Mr. Jones. When The Beatles were on Ed Sullivan, their ever so famous American debut in February of '64, Davy Jones was also on that show as a member of the stage show Oliver! He said that when he saw the girls go wild for The Beatles he knew what he wanted to do. Then he did it.


4296...Wise Words From Our Leader

Our leader of course is Bob Rae.

He makes a point on Facebook:

According to the RCMP, March is "fraud prevention month". I hope that includes electoral fraud...


4295...Solution: Put Seniors In Prison

This just in from Stephen Harper's hometown paperThe Calgary Herald:

For Harper Tories, prison spending trumps seniors

The Harper government is prioritizing new prison spending over maintaining seniors' retirement benefits, for reasons known only to itself.

There is only so much money out there so the obvious solution is to put senior citizens in jail.

Another problem solved.

Yer welcome.


4294...Hug An Italian Today

Especially the boy Italians.

They be in shock.

They be in shock because the USA beat Italy for the first time ever, 1-0. In football. The Yanks did it on Italian soil, in Genoa.

CBS News reports that "Clint Dempsey's goal in the 55th minute for the Americans' first win over the Azzurri in 11 games over 78 years."



4293...Fone Fraud Fiasco Has Legs

This news cycle is going to be a bit longer than the usual news story.

Think months, may be years Stephen Harper.

At the start of your career you were all about accountability in government.

Be careful what you wish for.


4292...Hate To Spoil Yer Brekky But...

There is one less Monkee.

Davy Jones, the British member of the pre-fab four, died of a heart attack Wednesday.

If you don't know who the Monkees are ask someone in your world who is over 50.

His death came as a huge shock to everyone in his life said his daughter Jessica Jones. Mr. Jones had a physical last month and was told that he had the heart of a 17 year old. What the doctor neglected to tell him was that the 17 year old's heart was shot.

Access Hollywood reports that there was "One Wednesday’s devastating turn of events is that...[he]...(who began his career as a horse jockey) died tending to his beloved horses in Florida, which is exactly the way he would have wanted to go."

He was 66.


4291...Something You Don't Need To Know

Wilmer Valderrama, Fez on That '70s Show, was on NBC's Are You There, Chelsea last night.

Here is what you don't need to know:

At the conclusion of production of That '70s Show, Mr. Valderrama purchased the 1969 Oldsmobile Vista Cruiser featured on That '70s Show from Carsey-Werner, the show's production company, for $500.

Part of your brain is filled with something inane.

You be welcome.