Tuesday, April 28, 2009

85...And, If You Are Lucky, Bobby Knight On Chairs

Wednesday morning, 93.1.


84...Porn on the Radio: Wednesday 93.1

CKCU, I will be talking to Jill Nelson, the author of the new book about a man who was a sexual superstar, and is now dead guy who, like Elvis, JFK and John Lennon, has become a legend that seemingly will live forever. Her tome is John Holmes: A Life Measured in Inches and she will be joining me tomorrow morning after six.

My good friend tic's dog Ellie passed this week and he is feeling the pain. I will be filling in for him, making me a radio star from 6 a.m. to 9:30 a.m. Helping me fill the time with quality talk will be erstwhile political candidate Blake Batson and Cat Lane, who is a dog nutritionist and will let you know how to give your puppy a long fruitful life like Ellie had for 16 bird and squirrel chasing years.

Scott Broderick will be joining me by phone around 8 30 a.m. to talk about his company's billboard and web campaign http://thisaintflint.ca/. Iffen you are in Ottawa you have seen the posters and billboards, now, wtf is all about? Find out from the man behind it, NewCaps [Hot 89.9 and Live 88.5] Ottawa's General Manager when he talks to me, the World Famous Dan Shields on 944 Rogers, 93.1 FM, Radio Carleton, CKCU.

After nine I will be talking to the face of Flint, Jerry Preston, about why thisaintflint.ca is kind of mean spirted and why you should load the family unit into the minivan and make your way to Flint, Michigan this summer for some realllllllllllll fun. Only an hour west of Sarnia on I-69, Flint has something for everyone, apparently. We will see. It is the gateway to Saginaw and that is where the Gears are sooooooooooo.


Monday, April 27, 2009

83...Porno on the Radio

Not tomorrow, not Tuesday, no, I will have some porn on the radio Wednesday, 93.1CKCU.

Tuesday, my new friend Aram Adjemian will be with me Tuesday morning from 6 to 7 a.m. and we will be talking about your rights as a human.

This is important stuff, do join me tomorrow morning, http://www.ckcufm.com/.

Porn on Wed.


Thursday, April 23, 2009

82...If These Stadiums Are Such A Good Idea

Why does the City of Ottawa have to put up so much change?


Wednesday, April 22, 2009

81...Happy Earth Day

In honour of, I will watch TV in the dark tonight.


80...One more guest on 93.1

One more element for the Earth Day radio show, Claire Biddiscombe from the Carleton University School of Journalism and we will be talking about this venue, blogging and how it really is no substitute for professional journalism.

She will be preaching to the choirmaster on that one.

This morning, six a.m.


Tuesday, April 21, 2009

79...Tic: Fingers Crossed

I mentioned previously that Mr. tic says he does not feel well; hopefully this does not preclude him from chatting with me on the morrow in the morning.

Good Lord willing, creeks don't rise.

He is in my prayers.


78...See You Josh Wright

Sad news, sad but not startling news to the WFDS, from the U of Zero today; Josh Wright, the former top 50 high school star out of Utica, New York, has decided to leave the Gee Gee's basketball program to pursue a pro career in, well, I guess, Europe.

Shades of Omar Cook. And Lenny Cooke. And Donte Green. And. And.

Mr. Wright ran the point at Syracuse, the Orange being a perennial top 25 team in the NCAA, but he didn't run it to perfection and ipso et facto got quit from the team in the middle of last last season.

This last season Coach David DeAveiro at the University of Ottawa brought Mr. Wright, after Josh sat out the requisite year as a transfer, into the Gee Gee's fold and, although, in my opinion [and me and the loverly Vicky P saw him play about five or six times in person and on the tube] he did not seem super comfortable with the team and the rotation, he did average around 17 points a game in the 12 he played.

I sincerely believe two things. First, I believe if Mr. Wright had of played in 2009/2010 and Coach D let him run the show, I believe Mr. Wright would have been the best guard in the country, with Oscar Robertson like numbers. Secondly, I believe that if Mr. Wright had of been the CIS superstar that, barring injury, he would have been, his stock in Europa would have went up exponentially.

As it stands now, he is just another top 50 player who woulda, who coulda and who shoulda been All Something or Another.

Sans degree.


77...BluesFest 2009, unveiled, tommorrow, 6 am

Exclusively on 93.1CKCU.

With me the World Famous Dan Shields.

For the record, I offered this to tic, the jock after me, who I love to chat with every Wednesday but he turned it down because he is too sick and too tired to give this the attention that he feels it needs.

So I will.

Ah, self indulgent [I am World Famous, after all] navel gazing community radio.


Monday, April 20, 2009

76...Green Beer

From Toronto.

May be something that might interest you?

Check me out , tommorrow, 93.1CKCU.

Six bells, morningside.


Friday, April 17, 2009

75...Always Wear A Condom

Travis Henry.

If you are an NFL fan, you probably know the name; he was a Pro Bowl running back out Florida who played college for Tennessee and was a second round draft choice in 2001.

His hobby was making babies.

Lots of them.

He made Sean Kemp look like Pope Benedict in that department.

Rough numbers, 11 [eleven] kids from 12 [twelve] women. Or may be it is 12 from 11, gets a bit fuzzy when you hit the double digits.

Amazingly, although he made serious bank as an NFL star, he has fallen a bit behind on his child support, resulting in jail time, garnishments and a career change.

The career change is what got Mr. Henry in today's Ottawa Sun. After getting released from his 22.5 million contract [as per usual, nothing in the NFL is guaranteed] with the Denver Broncos last summer, Mr. Henry decided to sell cocaine and marijuana.

He was an All American running back; obviously did not have too much trouble with the ladies but; selling coke and pot, not so successful.

Subsequent to his arrest last October, Mr. Henry made a plea agreement Tuesday that comprises of a mandatory 10-year sentence along with approximately $4 million dollars in fines.

Always wear a condom.


74...I miss Frank Magazine

That's it.



I am watching the NHL playoffs on Hockey Night In Canada, San Jose versus Anaheim and it dawns on me that there is a pretty good chance there are more people watching this game in Ontario than in California, where the teams are based and the game is being played.

Would someone tell Gary Bettman, please?


Thursday, April 16, 2009

72...The End Days Are Near

Subtitle: Syracuse University Orange wins another National Championship.

This time it is in an individual sport, the sport being Rock, Paper, Scissors.

Ripped from the pages of today's Daily Orange, SU sophmore Jonathan Monaco was named the first USA Rock Paper Scissors League collegiate champion on an outdoor stage in Panama City Beach, Fla., last month. The event MTVU's Spring Break coverage which means that you could probably find it on YouTube or the MTVU site.

Dude won 20,000.00 dollars.

The best part of the story was the quote from Mr. Monaco's dad, Sabie Monaco "When you play basketball, you get paid. He got paid for playing a sport."

A sport.

The end days are near.


Wednesday, April 15, 2009

71...If A TV Show Sucks

It sucks.

But if it doesn't and people still won't watch it, what do you do?

Case in point, Wild Roses, CBC TV's newish Dallas esque drama.

Apparently it is for the high jump.

A parallel of sorts to the highly regarded and lowly rated NBC series Friday Night Lights except for one little thing.

FNL, the lowest rated network show in the history of TV to ever be renewed has been renewed for two years.

Two years.

Wild Roses is for the high jump.

Qu'est que c'est the difference?

The folks at NBC colour outside the lines, less group think.

CBC, and God bless them they used to direct deposit to my chequing account, doesn't colour outside the lines.

Two things that saved FNL were product placement, specifically Applebee's, a continent wide restaurant chain, which is interspersed throughout all of season three's episodes, and a deal with DirectTV that gave DirectTV first [and second and third] run of the third year of FNL months before NBC got to run the program driving avid fans from over the air and cable to DirectTV.





CBC doesn't seem prepared to do that to save Wild Roses.

But there is a petition and a call for letters to the editor.

Like, doh.


70...For Those of You Who Slept In

The winner was:


Way to go Tic, you may be a porndog, but you are my porndog!!!

See you at the ballet.


Tuesday, April 14, 2009

69...To Porn or Not to Porn

There were two untimely deaths earlier this week of 1970's pop culture mavens.

One was the meteoric baseball star Mark "The Bird" Fydrych; the other was porn star Marilyn Chambers.

Which one will child o' the 70's Tic know?

Tune in tomorrow from 6 to 7 am on 93.1CKCU and find out whether he porns or not.

The smart coin is on: porn.


Monday, April 13, 2009

68...Canwest [Global] Shares Now 2Bits

Warren Kinsella reports such on his blog and the fact is I can see the numbers going even lower.

In my view the problem with Global [and CTV and CBC] is, unlike the United States nets, they are greedy bastards who want to own all the stations and all the product and all and all and all. A little less greedy would equal a lot more money. Global in Ontario could easily split into a dozen or so viable TV stations which, if operated under the Global brand, would be viable.

As it is now Global in Ontario is the Toronto station repeated all over the province; with a tad of vision one could open a Global station in all the big markets in Ontario: Ottawa, Kitchener, London, Windsor, Sudbury, Niagara, Kingston etcetera without a ton of cost [the sticks are already up in those towns and all one would need would be studios and talent] and then spin off those stations with long term affiliate contracts and, poof, ownership may not be vertical and horizontal but it will be viable.

Don't see it happening but y'never know.


67...Love and Lust on 93.1

Tomorrow morning, I, the World Famous Dan Shields, 93.1CKCU in Ottawa, will, sometime after six, be talking to Fletch from YourNovel.com on how to make your romance a little lustier.

Do tune in.

And, remember, if it is raining, wear a raincoat.


Sunday, April 12, 2009

66...Charlie Tuna and Wal Mart Save America

Find out how, Tuesday morning, between 6 and 7 am on 93.1 CKCU.


Saturday, April 11, 2009

65...Weight problems, I have no weight problems

Thankful for that, I am.

What I do have is a height issue.

I should be 6 feet 6 inches [for those of you on the metric system, that is very, very, very tall].

I am 5 feet 9 inches.

I am giving myself until Labour Day to reach my goal of 6'6".

I didn't get short overnight; I am not going to get tall overnight.

I was reading the Michael Deacon's column in yesterday's Telegram, a London, England newspaper, that the National Health are spending three times as much money on obesity now as they did at the mid point of the decade. He also points out that calling it an epidemic is stupid and that experts have assured him that a proper diet and exercise will cure obesity. As one who is undertall, I fully understand and certainly agree that the biggest cure for obesity would be for one and all to simply push away from the table, now.

Not an epidemic in the style of Polio or Malaria, still, obesity is rampant, especially among kiddies and those of us with less money. This is probably the first time in history that the poor have higher Body Mass Index's than the rich.

Food for thought.


64...online anon...etcetera...response

Only three comments, but, for someone like me, that is is like the CBC getting a tractor trailer full of mail.

Interesting though, I blog that not signing one's name, being anonymous, is the last refuge of cowards and two of the three responses I get are

As Alanis would say, isn't that ironic?
Here is the last morsel of love I received:
Anonymous said...
We know who you are. Stop using ZMZ to promote your radio show.
April 10, 2009 10:03 PM
Well, you know who I am, but, do tell, who are you?
Stand tall; be proud!
At least he/she/it knows I am on the radio. World Famous even!

Friday, April 10, 2009

63...online anonymity is the last refuge of cowards..

..and scoundrels.

I posted something early today on ZeroMeansZero, the anti Mayor Larry O'Brien [for those of you out of market, just Google Ottawa's Mayor to find out about this horror show] website that is, you guessed it, anonymous and very, very, very nasty.

This is what I posted, followed by the insightful replies, all anonymous, of course:

World Famous Dan Shields said...
Everyone on here is so righteous and brave yet the only two people whom I have seen sign their remarks are Steve Blais and Perry Marleau.Anonymity is more embarrassing and cowardly than our beloved Mayor could ever be.
Dan Shields.
Oh, and like every other loser with a laptop and too much time on my hands, I too have a blog, World Famous Dan Shields. Check it out but sign your comments on my blog like a grown up, k?
April 10, 2009 1:57 PM
Anonymous said...
Who the F... is Dan Shields?Someone we don't want to know, I'll bet.
April 10, 2009 2:53 PM
Anonymous said...
"World famous Dan Shields"Famous because he has a blog and no one reads it. Comments Zero!A real nerd.
April 10, 2009 3:15 PM

Incredible biting come back, and, note to anonymous, one and two and three, um, I signed my name, so, you do know who I am. You all would have loved Germany, late 30's, early 40's.


62...Billy Bob Thornton

Gives an interview to a not very, in the global sense at least, high profile radio show, Q on CBC One, is an asshole and gets in every paper and on every news cast in the world.

Yeah, he is crazy.

Wonder how many records and concert tickets his band sold in the last couple of days?

Crazy, he is.

Like a fox.

What a calculated and brilliant move by Mr. Thornton.

If you think this wasn't planned, you missed the business part of show business.


Thursday, April 9, 2009

61...Jeff Giles

Jeff Giles, new AD at McMaster.

Based on his book, Bigger Balls: The CFL and Overcoming the Canadian Inferiority Complex this man, former COO of the Canadian Football League is a brilliant hire.

I highly recommend the book as a primer not just for those of us interested in sport but also for those of us who have a feel for business and a love for our country.


Wednesday, April 8, 2009


If you live in my town, Ottawa, the capital of Canuckistan, you may be aware of one of the blogs that I follow, ZeroMeansZero.

I heard about it this blog, which is written by anonymous [wait, if it is a person's name, I should capitalize, right? so Anonymous, not anonymous from now on] on the [only] anglo talk station in town, 580CFRA, and it is quite interesting, although it is painfully and totally biased against our mayor, Larry O'Brien.

Please, check it out and let me know what you think.


Tuesday, April 7, 2009

59...Radio, Wednesday Morning

Dya know what the hottest sound in Beijing is these days?

Mongolian Throat Singing!!!

As if you didn't know, I mean, c'mon, get with the program.

Is true!!!

Specifically a group called Hanggai, from the coldest capital city in the world, Ulan Bator, Mongolia. Hanggai will be at the Bronson Centre this Thursday night at 7. Tickets: $15 - $20 advance at End Hits, 407 Dalhousie deep in Lowertown and at Sounds Unlikely, 5 Arlington at Bank in Centretown.

You can find out more, check them out, tomorrow, Wednesday morning, 6 bells on 93.1CKCU when I have Rob Reid, one of the promoters, in studio.


Monday, April 6, 2009

58...Go Tar Heels.

Or, maybe, Spartans.

Haven't made up my mind but trust me I will be in front of the Sylvania this evening, tuned to CBS for the Men's NCAA Basketball final live from Ford Field in Detroit.

These two teams met in the same stadium earlier in the season and the number one North Carolina Tar Heels beat the Michigan State Spartans like a rented mule, 98-63.

The game should be a bit tighter than that; the line is around seven or eight points, depending on where you shop.


57...Opening Day

Why Time Begins On Opening Day was a best selling book published a quarter century ago by Washington Post baseball columnist Thomas Boswell.

Although I am not a massive baseball fan I am certain that you will agree that there is a certain je ne sais quoi about the first day of baseball, which, of course, is today.

This truly is, in my humble opinion, the first day of spring.


56...I am thrilled to be on 93.1CKCU tommorrow

At 6 am, sharpish, I, The World Famous Dan Shields will be on 93.1CKCU in the Nation's Capital.

It is always exciting to be on air and tomorrow is no different.

I will be joined by Courtney Ott, who is the 211 Communications and Liaison Officer with the Community Information Centre of Ottawa.

I am not sure what that means either.

Nor do I know what 211 is but it is coming to a phone near you, pronto.

Find out more, a demain, http://www.ckcufm.com/.


Thursday, April 2, 2009

55...Apparently Brian Mulroney

Is a bad guy and the Conservatives want you to know that he was a Progressive Conservative which, of course, is totally different than a Conservative. Different, you know, in the way that beige and eggshell are different colours.

Just keeping you in the loop.


54...End of an Era

On the day that the longest running night time soap opera in TV history, ER, packs it in, Variety reported that the oldest soap of them all, Guiding Light, is toute toute tootsie good bye on September 18, 2009.

The show has been on CBS since the year I was born, 1937, and has been on CBS TV since 1952.

Soap operas got the title "soap opera" because back in the day they were owned by soap companies; GL is no different, in fact it is produced to this day by Proctor and Gamble who has said that they are not going to give up on the series and are exploring other options, including cable networks (a move similar to the one employed by the producers of Passions when the show was canceled by NBC) and Internet broadcasts.


53...OC Transpo Report

My friend KayCee sends me this update on OC Transpo:

"So, I'm on the 85 right now. I only ever take this bus to get to the cinema. And it's cracking me up. There are some serious crackwhores on here. At least they're twitchy and wearing hooker clorthes [sic]. And the smell... Oh, the smell. It's like taking the 2.And this bus doesn't even go to hintonburg[sic] "

That's a lot of entertainment for three dollars!!!