925...Tobacco Troubles In La Belle

Going through a pile of this week's papers I came across an article by Steven Chase in Thursday's Globe and Mail. Apparently Rothmans, Benson & Hedges is threatening to close a Quebec factory, an enterprise that provides 300 people an income, if Ottawa doesn't narrow the scope of a bill aimed at stopping the manufacture of candy- and fruit-flavoured cigars and cigarettes.

These smokes are allegedly aimed at children and entry level smokers, although, I for one, am aghast that anyone would accuse a cigarette company of deliberately trying to increase sales of its products by hooking young people and tobacco novices to their deadly and addictive product merely by making the taste tasty.

The aforementioned plant is in Quebec City and Quebec MPs are all a twitter, a Twitter and a blogging try to prevent the passing of this bill which is on the floor of the Senate as I write this. Quebec Tory MP Maxime Bernier, you may recall the name, he had 99 Problems last year and the b**ch was one, said in a posting on his blog Wednesday that Conservatives from his province are going to press for changes to Bill C-32.

Kids and smokes, ah, love those Tories.

WFDS

752...The King Of Patronage

The new King that is.

The old one was fellow Tory Brian Mulroney; the new King is Stephen Harper.

As noted on Ujjal Dosanjh, Liberal Member of Parliament's Twitter:

"Harper officially the Senate Patronage King. Unequalled [sic] 27 appointments in single year."

The King is dead; long live the King.

WFDS

514...To Twitter Or Not To Twitter

It could happen here in Ottawa, Lord knows we have enough bank robberies. And it could happen where you are too. But it actually happened there.

I present a cut and paste job from inquisitr.com:

This morning, a woman in Manhattan used Twitter to pass the time through an ultra-boring bank stickup.

@TravelingAnna stopped at the HSBC branch at 5 Penn Plaza (34th St. at 8th Ave.) around 9am, but the trip took a turn for the twitter-worthy when the bank was held up. Anna tweeted:

my bank was just held up- with me in it. HSBC 34 and 8. also my whole trackball is GONE!!! im locked in the bank still.

they wont let us leave the bank.

cant figure out how to call work without a trackball… police just arrived. maybe theyll let me go now.

they want to question us. i didnt even notice this gappenning (sic) while i was standing there

While the bank robbery and aftermath were interesting, a second, perhaps more sinister tragedy was unfolding (illustrated above) regarding Anna’s serious Blackberry issues. Unable to respond via SMS or e-mail, trackballess Anna was forced to recount the harrowing ordeal solely through the medium of Twitter.

repeat: my trackball is gone. cant pick up calls, answer emails, or texts. so dont send them please.

STFU, loved ones! The trackball issue was so consuming, Anna didn’t even notice the robbery itself.

no i didnt hit the floor. i didnt even notice and he was two people in front of me. i suck.

And thanks to the miracle of the interwebs, Anna didn’t even have to get up out the bank before haters started bashing her in the comments on Gothamist.

someone on Gothamist just told me to fall down a man hole. geez, get a life, buddy.

cant defend my honor because I cant scroll to the reply box, but whatever. that guy can kiss my ass. im the one locked in a bank.

Luckily for Anna, the ordeal ended quickly due to a surveillance avoidance fail:

they totally got the guy. cop said he was lazy. walked right into several Penn station security cams. #fail

And there was even a #happyending. (No, not the Chinatown kind.)

@skydiver Holy followers haha

WFDS

342...Hockey, Champagne And Burritos

I know, it is less than a week before St. Jean Baptiste Day, 30 degrees in the shade and then quickly comes Canada Day and the 4th of July followed by the Glorious 12th and I am writing about hockey.

An' I don't even like hockey.

But I am Canuckistanian and I do like burritos so, here goes.

From thecheapseats.ca comes a piece that states that "...Pittsburgh coach Dan Bylsma had a routine he followed...stopping by his local Qdoba Mexican Grill...for a BBQ pork burrito...Qdoba was smart enough to cash in on the craze to the tune of a 20 percent sales increase...a Facebook page was created...local news crews were covering the coach's ritual. There were even Twitter Tweet-ups, where fans would go watch Bylsma and his burrito in-person."

To keep the mojo going Qdoba had a burrito packed on ice and shipped to Detroit for Game 7.

Lord Stanley subsequently moved back to Pittsburgh.

WFDS

257...Chad Johnson, Face Tattoo

From the Awful Announcing blog comes this monumental news: Chad Ocho Cinco, the Cincinnati Bengals receiver formerly known as Chad Johnson has just Twittered that he is getting/has a face tattoo .

The images out there show a tiny tat' of the State of Florida on his left cheek bone.

It is now official: He be crazy.

WFDS