5 Signs Your Mayor is Smoking Crack...
1. Inauguration cancelled due to "invisible spiders."
2. Office supplies from city hall keep turning up on Craigslist.
3. Frequently wakes up in cities he doesn't recognize shouting "I didn't approve these changes!!"
4. Proposes balancing budget by stealing all stereos from cars in neighboring town.
5. Shaky moral compass and pathological need to lie...(actually that's most city mayors.)
Toronto, finally on the map.