If I could make this stuff up before it happened I would be the Mark Twain of this generation.
In a major victory for depressed guinea pig owners everywhere, Kendra Velzen won a $40,000 settlement from Grand Valley
State Universityafter the college restricted the 28-year-old student from carrying her pet guinea pig around the school's campus. Velzen, who suffers from depression and uses a pacemaker, was permitted to keep the rodent in her pet-free dorm because, as her lawyer put it, the guinea pig (named Blanca, by the way) "provide[d] her with emotional support and attachment (reducing symptoms of depression), and physiological and psychological benefits." But the school drew the line at allowing the animal into dining halls and class. So Velzen sued, claiming the school violated their agreement with her.