Here is what they are greeting their readers with this morning, no sense of ha ha, no sense of irony and, obviously, no cable in the newsroom.
Hulk Hogan injured in bloody Sydney brawl with Ric Flair and media
WRESTLER Hulk Hogan has been badly injured after a violent bloody brawl broke out at The Hulkamania promotional press conference at Star City today.
The press conference veered violently out of control today as Hogan and ring rival Ric Flair let their animosity break into a full-scale bloody brawl.
Sydney Central’s photographer Phil Rogers has his flash broken when Flair threw a table off the stage and into the press gathering before diving on photographers. See the photo of the Hulk.
Media were stunned as Hogan's head began bleeding profusely and confusion broke out when the veteran wrestling star was unable to get to his feet.
Journalists narrowly missed being struck with the table and photographers ducked and weaved as Flair took off his trouser belt and began to whip anyone within range.
Imagine, a fight at a press conference promoting wrestling. Stop the presses.
The Hulkamania tour hits Sydney’s Acer Arena on November 28.