Associated Press running with the story that the New York City mayoralty race has one less candidate.
Robert Burck, The Naked Cowboy, who is a tourist attraction in Times Square, playing country tunes whilst [almost] naked, has decided to drop out of the mayoralty race citing the fact that there is too much paper work involved.
He sadly pointed out that the only way to get taken seriously is by wearing a suit and a tie. As opposed to his work clothes: tighty whiteys, cowboy boots and a cowboy hat.
WFDS
Showing posts with label Associated Press. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Associated Press. Show all posts
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
806...Women And Trousers
Imagine my surprise when I discovered that in some countries women wear trousers. Called pants by many, trousers are leg coverings and were so obviously designed for men.
Lubna Hussein of Sudan was, I note in this morning's Metro, convicted yesterday of public indecency in the Sudan for pants. Using files from the Manchester Guardian and the Associated Press, Metro reports that she was sparred 40 lashes of the whip and instead was fined 200 dollars or a month in jail.
She has said "I will not pay a penny" so it is off to jail she goes.
What a country.
WFDS
Lubna Hussein of Sudan was, I note in this morning's Metro, convicted yesterday of public indecency in the Sudan for pants. Using files from the Manchester Guardian and the Associated Press, Metro reports that she was sparred 40 lashes of the whip and instead was fined 200 dollars or a month in jail.
She has said "I will not pay a penny" so it is off to jail she goes.
What a country.
WFDS
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
741...Records Are Made To Be Broken
The Associated Press has a mind boggling story out of Espanola. Not Espanola, Ontario but Espanola, New Mexico where an unnamed man was just hit with his 22nd DWI/DUI charge.
This time homeboy blew a nasty .393. The limit is .08.
Beauty, eh?
He is expected to sober up for the Super Bowl.
WFDS
This time homeboy blew a nasty .393. The limit is .08.
Beauty, eh?
He is expected to sober up for the Super Bowl.
WFDS
Monday, August 10, 2009
650...I Still Love Sarah Palin
And if it were twenty years ago...
Still, Governor, try to make sense. At least some of the time. In an Associated Press story Sarah Palin, you may remember her, she ran for Vice President back in the day, says that President Obama's plan to overhaul healthcare is evil.
Evil?
Like Charles Manson evil?
Oy vey.
Still, Governor, try to make sense. At least some of the time. In an Associated Press story Sarah Palin, you may remember her, she ran for Vice President back in the day, says that President Obama's plan to overhaul healthcare is evil.
Evil?
Like Charles Manson evil?
Oy vey.
The former Republican vice presidential candidate posted her thoughts Friday on Facebook.
Governor Palin says in the America she knows, people won't have to "stand in front of Obama's 'death panel" so his bureaucrats can decide, based on a subjective judgment of their 'level of productivity in society,' whether they are worthy of healthcare."
You forgot to compare President Obama to Chancellor Hitler.
WFDS
Monday, August 3, 2009
616...Sue Baby Sue
As one of the proud, unemployed, graduates of Carleton University, I am heartened by a story out of the Bronx, New York.
Trina Thompson, who received her degree in information technology from Monroe College in the New York City borough, received said degree in April 2009, that being this year, has decided that 33 per cent of a year is long enough to wait for a job thank you very much and is suing the school for 70,000 USD which is what her tuition and expenses were at the prestigious university.
Associated Press reports Miss Thompson as saying, well, I paraphrase, but basically she is saying "They told me I would get a job; where is my job."
Fair dinkum.
WFDS
Trina Thompson, who received her degree in information technology from Monroe College in the New York City borough, received said degree in April 2009, that being this year, has decided that 33 per cent of a year is long enough to wait for a job thank you very much and is suing the school for 70,000 USD which is what her tuition and expenses were at the prestigious university.
Associated Press reports Miss Thompson as saying, well, I paraphrase, but basically she is saying "They told me I would get a job; where is my job."
Fair dinkum.
WFDS
Sunday, August 2, 2009
612...Animals Banned From Circuses
The Associated Press tells us that Bolivia has enacted the world's first law that prohibits the use of animals in circuses.
All animals.
This includes flea circuses and the law, which gives operators a year to comply, was brought in on Canada Day. Animal Defenders International found widespread abuse of animals by Bolivian circuses and the London based group lobbied for the law which was sponsored by Representative Ximena Flores.
WFDS
610...Padded Bras Are Cheating
Even more so if they are padded with a pound of meth.
That is what cops in DeKalb County, Alabama found when they did a traffic stop Tuesday night.
According to the Associated Press, during the pat down they found a pound of meth in the woman's bra and charged her with this, that and the other thing.
WFDS
That is what cops in DeKalb County, Alabama found when they did a traffic stop Tuesday night.
According to the Associated Press, during the pat down they found a pound of meth in the woman's bra and charged her with this, that and the other thing.
WFDS
Saturday, July 25, 2009
574...And Baby Makes 44 000 Dollars
Associated Press moves the heartwarming story of Milkshake girl Kelis' new baby boy, Knight, born Wednesday in New York City and the equally heartwarming story of a Los Angeles judge awarding her 44 000 USD a month in child support from her ex husband, Nas.
WFDS
WFDS
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
554...Stephen Page, I Hate Stephen Page
He has moved to my favourite American city, the 'cuse.
The Associated Press moved the story this morning that the former Barenaked Ladies singer and his girlfriend have bought a four bedroom house next door to the place they were both arrested 12 months ago for cocaine possession.
The Very Important Persons Act was invoked and charges against Mr. Page and his girly friend Christine Benedicto were dismissed in April.
The house in Fayetteville, New York, cost 265 000 USD.
265 in Syracuse gets you a house that would cost around a million in Mr. Page's hometown of Toronto. Plus he will be able to go see the Orange play at the Carrier Dome all the frigging time.
That is why I hate Stephen Page.
WFDS
The Associated Press moved the story this morning that the former Barenaked Ladies singer and his girlfriend have bought a four bedroom house next door to the place they were both arrested 12 months ago for cocaine possession.
The Very Important Persons Act was invoked and charges against Mr. Page and his girly friend Christine Benedicto were dismissed in April.
The house in Fayetteville, New York, cost 265 000 USD.
265 in Syracuse gets you a house that would cost around a million in Mr. Page's hometown of Toronto. Plus he will be able to go see the Orange play at the Carrier Dome all the frigging time.
That is why I hate Stephen Page.
WFDS
Friday, July 17, 2009
529...Starbucks Adding Another Drug To Menu
Caffeine will not be the only drug you can imbibe at a Starbucks store near you if the test in Seattle, Washington is successful.
A Starbucks in the west coast home of the chain is adding beer and wine to its list of mind altering drugs. Lauren Shepard of Associated Press reports that the store will be rebranded as 15th Avenue Coffee and Tea. It will open next week and will serve coffee and tea as well as wine and beer.
Uppers and downers.
Perfect.
A Starbucks in the west coast home of the chain is adding beer and wine to its list of mind altering drugs. Lauren Shepard of Associated Press reports that the store will be rebranded as 15th Avenue Coffee and Tea. It will open next week and will serve coffee and tea as well as wine and beer.
Uppers and downers.
Perfect.
The company said it will then open two more Seattle-area stores without the Starbucks name in new locations. If they click, next thing you know, South Keys, Square One, West Edmonton Mall.
In keeping with Starbucks pricing policies a pint of beer will be 18 dollars and a glass of wine 23.
WFDS
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
509...Iowa Enters The Nineties
The 1890s.
Associated Press rolled with this cute story from Des Moines, Iowa's biggest city where the push is on to allow dancing after two in the morning.
OMG.
The city, who's slogan is "Whatever you do, do more of it in Des Moines", has an obscure city ordinance that outlaws publicly shaking your groove thing in Iowa's biggest city after 2 a.m. One cannot legally chicken dance, waltz or twist until the clock strikes six, eight a.m. on Sunday.
WFDS
Associated Press rolled with this cute story from Des Moines, Iowa's biggest city where the push is on to allow dancing after two in the morning.
OMG.
The city, who's slogan is "Whatever you do, do more of it in Des Moines", has an obscure city ordinance that outlaws publicly shaking your groove thing in Iowa's biggest city after 2 a.m. One cannot legally chicken dance, waltz or twist until the clock strikes six, eight a.m. on Sunday.
WFDS
Sunday, July 12, 2009
500...Forget About Faith Healing,This Is Bee Healing
And it works.
Thursday morning John Pool of Green Valley, Arizona tossed aside his walker. The Associated Press is all over this story. Usually he uses a walker but the stings of 1000 bees motivated the blind vet to toss aside the walker and Usain Bolt home where his wife used a hose to wash off hundreds of bees. Firefighters used credit cards to scrape away hundreds of stingers.
Mr. Pool was released from hospital fit and fine after being held over night.
Praise the Lord.
WFDS
Thursday morning John Pool of Green Valley, Arizona tossed aside his walker. The Associated Press is all over this story. Usually he uses a walker but the stings of 1000 bees motivated the blind vet to toss aside the walker and Usain Bolt home where his wife used a hose to wash off hundreds of bees. Firefighters used credit cards to scrape away hundreds of stingers.
Mr. Pool was released from hospital fit and fine after being held over night.
Praise the Lord.
WFDS
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
460...Tonya Harding Not Arrested In Drug Sweep
Fellow 1990's skating star Nicole Bobek was though. Ms. Bobek won the U.S. championship in 1995 and the bronze medal at the World Championships that same year.
A difficult teenager, now at age 31, Miss Bobek is in trouble that stretches far beyond being labeled a difficult teenager. According to an Associated Press report, she has been charged with being part of a drug ring in northern New Jersey. Miss Bobek, who has homes in New York and Jupiter, Fla., was arrested in Florida last week.
The charge is conspiracy to distribute methamphetamine in Hudson County.
She is one of 20 picked up in the sweep and if convicted she faces 10 years in prison.
WFDS
A difficult teenager, now at age 31, Miss Bobek is in trouble that stretches far beyond being labeled a difficult teenager. According to an Associated Press report, she has been charged with being part of a drug ring in northern New Jersey. Miss Bobek, who has homes in New York and Jupiter, Fla., was arrested in Florida last week.
The charge is conspiracy to distribute methamphetamine in Hudson County.
She is one of 20 picked up in the sweep and if convicted she faces 10 years in prison.
WFDS
Friday, July 3, 2009
432...When Robbing A Gas Station
Always make sure to fill up at the station you are robbing then go in and do your business, you know, threaten the dude, steal his money, fill a hockey bag with smokes and, if applicable, beer, then leave.
But first, fill up.
Do I have to repeat this?
For Lonnie Meckwood and Phillip Weeks of Pennsylvania, yes, I do.
The Associated Press reports that the New York State Police caught these two genie [plural for genius] after their getaway car ran out of gas while the were trying to escape late Monday night after robbing the Quickway Convenience Store in Kirkwood, New York, near the New York-Pennsylvania border about 80 miles south of Syracuse.
Police found the pair about a mile away. Their car was on the side of the road. Sans petrol.
Hope you took notes.
WFDS
But first, fill up.
Do I have to repeat this?
For Lonnie Meckwood and Phillip Weeks of Pennsylvania, yes, I do.
The Associated Press reports that the New York State Police caught these two genie [plural for genius] after their getaway car ran out of gas while the were trying to escape late Monday night after robbing the Quickway Convenience Store in Kirkwood, New York, near the New York-Pennsylvania border about 80 miles south of Syracuse.
Police found the pair about a mile away. Their car was on the side of the road. Sans petrol.
Hope you took notes.
WFDS
Thursday, June 11, 2009
267...Told You So/Was Right/Jessica Alba
I am psychic, I am, for about an hour ago Entertainment Weekly sent me an email which I quote verbatim:
Whilst they were contemplating charges I, the World Famous Dan Shields, went out on a limb and stated on the record that "They won't, under the Very Important Person's Act, celebrities in celebrity free cities are given a pass on stupid stuff, but they are considering laying charges. Strongly considering laying charges. Charges that they, of course, won't lay." They won't being the operative words here.
WFDS
Jessica Alba has been officially let off the hook by the owners of the Oklahoma City properties she allegedly defaced with posters aimed at raising awareness of the dwindling numbers of Great White sharks. Though local police say they are continuing to investigate the incident, proprietors of properties directly affected told the Associated Press that they have "little interest in pursuing criminal charges." Earlier this week, Alba issued an apology for her role in the campaign.
Whilst they were contemplating charges I, the World Famous Dan Shields, went out on a limb and stated on the record that "They won't, under the Very Important Person's Act, celebrities in celebrity free cities are given a pass on stupid stuff, but they are considering laying charges. Strongly considering laying charges. Charges that they, of course, won't lay." They won't being the operative words here.
WFDS
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