They have Old Orchard, they have Stephen King and, according to my friend Len Berman, they have The Redneck Olympics.
It is in Hebron and according to Mr. Berman it has "Just the usual events involving lots of mud and the tossing of toilet seats. You know, highbrow sports entertainment. Well, the real Olympic guys weren't amused. They're threatening to sue if the 'rednecks' continue to use the word 'Olympics.' They're kind of fussy like that. The guys in Maine are kind of stubborn themselves. They've basically said 'buzz off.'"
That'll show the USOC, eh?