K-ELF Announces Budget Cuts Because of Ongoing Recession
(North Pole) - Today, K-ELF radio, the official radio station of Santa Claus and his workshop, announced a staff cutback due to increasing costs. The ongoing recession has decreased the amount of jingle from coins, forcing K-ELF General Manager, Shorty Stumpkins, to layoff some air-staff.
"Programming will still be maintained, but, not all air-shifts will be live," Stumpkins announced to the press.
Stumpkins said famed morning man, Don Imsmall, would still be doing his show but most of the remaining hours would be voice-tracked by freelance leprechauns living in Dublin, Ireland.
"It's all about cost efficiency," mused Stumpkins. I know the leprechauns can't maintain the local flavor of the former indigenous North Pole on-air elves but it's just a trade-off we're going to have to live with right now."
Stumpkins would not comment on whether he thought the regular North Pole listeners would immediately realize the staff had suddenly developed an Irish brogue.
Besides the cuts in staff, K-ELF also announced that the station would probably have to reduce the caliber of prizes offered during the station's annual Stocking Surprise promotion. Stumpkins said instead of CDs, gift certificates, and concert tickets, coal had been considered as a last resort but was nixed due to concerns by local environmental activists.
"We're being backed into a corner," said Stumpkins. "I mean, what are we supposed to do when we can't even put coal in someone's stocking without being vilified as eco-unfriendly?"
K-ELF says it will work through its current problems. There has been no official comment from Santa Claus but word is Santa's Workshop is now opting to listen to SIRIUS XM Satellite's holiday channels instead of its local radio station.
WFDS
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