Thursday, July 9, 2009

481...Shannon Tweed

Front page news, Ottawa Sun, is Kiss bassist Gene Simmons' long time squeeze, Shannon Tweed, who was supposed to have her own day in her former home town next Wednesday, Shannon Tweed Day, has been disrespected by Ottawa City Council.

Doug Thompson is taking his turn in the rotation of acting mayors that are replacing Larry O'Brien while he's awaiting acquittal on spurious charges brought by former rival and current window licker, Terry Kilrea. One of Mayor Thompson's first moves was to declare next Wednesday Shannon Tweed Day after the former playmate, who lived in Ottawa for several years.

Cannot have that in Ottawa, OMG. As Lowell Green said on CFRA's The Lunch Bunch, we cannot have that in Ottawa because it sounds like fun.

I swear, if Toronto is New York City designed by the Swiss, Ottawa is Toronto designed by the Amish.

Former bartender, party girl and model, Miss Tweed left our city about three decades ago in search of her dream. She achieved such by becoming first a Playmate Centerfold and then Playboy's Playmate of the Year in 1982.

Councillor Jan Harder said that the honour cannot simply be bestowed on someone who is well-known and has lived in the city. "It's a frivolous use of a proclamation process to honour somebody who, quite frankly, means nothing to the city of Ottawa," said Miss Harder.

Means nothing to Ottawa?

Tell that to any man who was a boy when Miss Tweed was naked in Playboy in the early 80's. Actually, more than something. A lot more than something. And a lot more than Steve MacLean [who's dat?] who was honoured with a day in Ottawa sometime in the past. We have also had a World Laughter Day and a bunch of other crap.

Miss Tweed's big problem is that she is hot and non hotties hate hotties.

Oh, last point, Matt Crosier, the General Manager of CKCU, told me over coffee yesterday that the City of Ottawa is prohibiting Miss Tweed's boyfriend's rock ensemble from using any explosions on stage next Wednesday night.

Explosions over the Peace Tower on Canada Day, we good. Explosions at a Kiss concert, no way.

Welcome to Ottawa.

WFDS

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