Craig's Take: Casting call for a Jaffer-Guergis movie
Craig Oliver, Chief Parliamentary Correspondent, CTV News
Date: Monday May. 17, 2010 9:10 PM ET
Some may remember the 1971 film comedy "The Gang that Couldn't Shoot Straight." In Ottawa these days we seem to have the gang that couldn't do anything right.
If there was any single theme that ran through the Guergis-Jaffer Affair, it would have been comic, except the many shades of darkness.
Despite a massive, well-connected effort by former Conservative MP Rahim Jaffer and his business partner, Nazim Gillani, they never got a red-cent in government contracts.
In fact, the prime minister might have been saved by those who he's often demeaned, the grey plotting federal bureaucrats. They saw right through the con-artistry and rejected all the multi-million dollar green schemes they were offered.
Had one of those civil servants handed over a big contract to Jaffer and Co., it would have landed the prime minister in big trouble. This week, the whole caper got even murkier and muddier.
Rolling up in a red Ferrari, Canada's own Sam Spade, who apparently was everybody's source on this story, testified to the Commons committee.
He talked of getaway cars and guns in the ribs and maligned just about everyone. He was one of a rich cast of characters right out of a Hollywood B movie.
For the sake of any casting directors who might actually want to make this film, here are my suggestions:
Jack Nicholson to play super snoop Derrick Snowdy. For Rahim Jaffer, who better than Michael Douglas, now doing a sequel to his film "Wall Street" with its infamous line, "Greed is good."
And what about that business partner who's facing charges of fraud and packing heat? I see him played by the quirky Christopher Walken, who always seems slightly off-centre; and for hapless Helena Guergis, who else but Paris Hilton?
So sit back, load up with popcorn and enjoy the film.
WFDS
There is nothing more fun than armchair movie casting.
ReplyDeleteInstead of Jack Nicholson I would cast James Gandolfini of the "sapranos". He looks more like Snowdy that Jack does. I would choose Keanu Reeves as Jaffer. Reeves would better pull off naivete mixed with misguided ambition than Douglas. I like Al Pacino as Gillani. Guergis conjures unsettling images of Sarah Palin in my mind. For her, Tina Fey would be my choice.