Either you are on the team darling or you are not, pick a side.
The dress, which also includes salami and is allegedly irresistible to both kinds of dogs, men and actual dogs, is designed by none other than Jia Jem [who's dat?] an innovative costume queen. I will take your word for it, Miss Bass, I will. Miss Jem is quoted as saying:
“I chose salami because it’s thin, keeps in one piece, and is quite cheap, and bacon because it looks very, um, meaty. I considered somehow vacuum-sealing sheets of meat with those sealers they have on the markets now, but the machines were too expensive for a one-time-only disposeable [sic] dress. I ended up using the K.I.S.S. method of construction, which involved a basic shift dress out of thick cotton. I layed the meat on top, then put clear vinyl over it and sewed tracks with clear thread. I used a wide stitch length to avoid perforating the meat to the point it might just… uh, slide down the bottom of the dress. I also blotted it all before sewing to get rid of as much grease as possible to avoid clouding the vinyl. Lastly, I made sure to bind the bottom of the dress with a strip of clear vinyl to catch drips. (I love talking about this; it’s so disgusting.) The whole project took about 6 hours, and I kept it refrigerated until the party. Good times.”
Plus, if it ever goes out of style [I know, bacon, out of style, as if] you can fry it and put it on an English muffin.
WFDS
Well, if I have to choose, in the end I'd choose bacon. Thanks for reading.
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