3251...The Last Cub Fan Dies

Not literally; the last Cub fan to see them win a World Series, which they did in '08. 1908.

The Chicago Tribune tells us that her name is Ms. Evelyn Margaret Ralston and she was born in 1899, meaning she lived in three centuries.

With Chicago being what it is Ms. Ralston may be dead but she is still a Democrat and will be expected to support The Machine and President Obama in November of '12. 2012.

WFDS

3250...Car B Ques

Just another reason to love France.

It is reported widely in France that the country will deploy extra police and keep vandalism statistics under wraps on New Year's Eve to fight what authorities say has become an annual sweepstakes of disaffected youths competing to see who can burn the most cars.

Hey, beats eating snails.

Youths in depressed suburbs of French cities have been torching hundreds of vehicles on New Year's Eve and Bastille Day since the early 1990s. Police say the annual rite has turned competitive, with youths tracking the news in the first days of the new year to see which neighborhood did the most damage.

Wait til ESPN finds out about this.

Interior Minister Brice Hortefeux said "I have decided to put an end to the competition, the sweepstakes, and will longer publish the number of burned vehicles."

Last year, the Interior Ministry said 1,137 cars had been torched, a 30 percent rise on 2008. French media reported at the time that several thousand cars had been burned.

Car B Ques.

WFDS

3249...EBay Rocks

So does MilliBid, a Brit knock off of EBay.

The Brit papers are all over Danielle Sheehan, 20, who won a 5,000 pound breast augmentation, moving her from C to E, on the popular auction website, for just £3.90.

She soooooo wants to become [and has been] a model for what the British call lad's magazines and the step up in size gives her a big, pun intended, edge.

For the same price as a pint of lager. No bad, eh?

WFDS

3248...What Will They Pick Up Dog Pooh With?

They have banned plastic bags in Italy. From now on BBC reports that only biodegradable, cloth or paper bags will be offered to shoppers.

Supporters of the ban say plastic bags are an environmental hazard which use too much oil to produce and can take decades to break down.

Of course in twenty years the same group will say that the paper bags use too many trees blah blah blah.

WFDS

3247...Good News/Bad News

Syracuse Orange won a bowl.

Good news.

So did the Fighting Irish of Notre Dame.

Bad news.

WFDS

3246...The City That Never Sleeps

Apparently that is your capital, Ottawa.

I know.

But that is what my new go-to radio station, 1310News, says in its promos.

WFDS

3245...There Is Great TV

And then there is Daytime on Rogers22 in Ottawa.

What a piece of sh*t.

If you are high and want to enjoy yourself check out their year end music special.

It features the very best in live music presented on Daytime during '10.

The best.

Funny that.

Most of the musicians sound like they are playing their instruments wearing gloves.

Hockey gloves.

WFDS

3244...A Statement About Healthcare From BC

An unnamed Kelowna man was pissed after waiting 45 minutes for care at Kelowna General Hospital Tuesday night so he got in to his SUV and rammed it into the hospital.

The RCMP arrested our hero.

Wait, 45 minutes? He was O N L Y going to have to wait 45 minutes? Uh, dude, that is like the express lane in these here parts.

WFDS

3243...Canada Number One ! ! !

The comScore, a company that specializes in measuring digital activity, reports that seventy-one per cent of us visit YouTube every month and spend almost five hours a month on YouTube.

Not sure, Ian Morrison, but I think it is because Canadian TV sucks the pipe.

Severely.

WFDS

3242...PETA Gets Press

My fave Canuck is Pamela Anderson is all over all the papers via Agence France-Presse coz of an ad that is and is not running in airports across our world.

The advertisement, titled Cruelty Doesn't Fly, has been banned in Hong Kong and New York City and Boston.

The ad also has Steve-O from Jackass and ancient German punkess Nina Hagen.

Ms. Anderson, who looks great for an 84 year old woman, stars as an airport security guard who strips passengers of leather, fur and other skins.

WFDS

3241...There Goes The Vacation

Honey, unpack the bags, we ain't going no where this winter. Scribbling by the Canadian Press indicates that it is going to cost beaucoup to go to the UAE on our vacation so we staying home in front of the Electrohome.

Canada's diplomatic dispute with the United Arab Emirates will cost travellers to the Gulf state as much as $1,000 in new visa requirements.

The new fees, which kick in this weekend with the arrival of the new year, were announced in the fall at the height of a dispute between Canada and the UAE.

A 30-day, non-renewable visa will cost $250, a three-month visa $500, and a six-month multiple entry will be $1,000.

This really is serious stuff and another f*ck up by the Stephen Harpers. There are 25,000 Canucks living in the UAE who will be hit with the fees, that is 25 mill. Plus 300 mill to move from Camp Mirage.

Oy and f*cking vey.

WFDS

WFDS

3240...They Call Them The Dippers For A Reason

They are, of course, the New Democratic Party of Canada.

And they are called The Dips coz they always do well in the polls in between elections but when the money is on the line The Dips dip.

In Tuesday's Globe and Mail Laurence Martin, who is very tall, wrote a yawner about the Mulcair Effect. Mulcair is, of course, Thomas Mulcair, the lad that lucked out in a bye bye Stephane Dion election in the Liberal stronghold of Outremont.

Mr. Martin, who may have been sniffing glue when he wrote the piece, says that "The party has expectations of winning the riding of Gatineau, where their candidate, Françoise Boivin, a former Liberal MP, lost narrowly last time out. The Dippers have a good shot in Hull and in a few Liberal-held ridings in Montreal, where they’ve lined up some high-profile candidates they’ll be announcing when the right moment arises."

I have been to Hull and Gat Mr. Martin, lots, like today, on the Plateau and it ain't gonna happen.

Tell you what Mr. Martin, if Ms. Boivin wins Gatineau or anyone else wins Hull, I will wash your car every Wednesday for a year.

WFDS

3239...Michael Vick Got Me A Dog

For real.

I took the money I won using the name Michael Vick in the 2009 Local Heroes football pool and transformed it into Mara Carfagna, the Labrador puppy dog not the Italian politician.

So I like Mike.

So does President Obama.

Peter King of Sports Illustrated the president called the owner of the Philadelphia Eagles to praise him for taking a risk on felon Michael Vick, saying "too many prisoners never get a fair second chance."

True dat.

This of course has the self righteous pissants at PETA up in arms.

When Lisa Lange, vice president of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, found out that, horrors, Mr. Vick would like to have a dog some day, soon, she flipped out. According to the Atlanta Journal-Constitution Miss Holier Than Though Lange said that "Just as convicted pedophiles aren't allowed free access to children, anyone who is responsible for hanging, electrocuting, or shooting dogs and who causes them to suffer in other unimaginable ways should never again be allowed access to dogs. All things considered, it is a very small price to pay, especially compared to the suffering endured by the dogs who were abused and killed in the Bad Newz Kennels."

Blow me.

WFDS

3238...You Would Never Catch An RC Priest Doing

This.

This being breaking into a house on Christmas Eve.

The Dallas Morning News reports North Texas coppers have charged the Reverend Sandy McGriff, 52, of purloining over $10,000 worth of swag from her friend and congregant Serita Agnew.

Rev. McGriff says she was trying to protect Agnew's valuables from other intruders. She claims she was in the neighborhood to pick up a peach cobbler from a friend and had the urge to drive past Ms.Agnew's home. "Something just told me to go past her house," the Rev. told reporters on Monday. According to the woman of the Cloth, she pulled up in her black Jaguar, only to spy two men exiting Ms. Agnew's residence.

Spotting a broken window, the Rev. says she decided to protect Agnew's laptop, purses, and coats by climbing in the window and carrying them from the house. "I thought I was helping," said Rev. McGriff.

According to a neighbour, not quite.

The neighbor says he called police after he saw Rev. McGriff smash the window and clamber inside. The servant of Our Lord was arrested and spent Christmas Day in the clink, although she posted bail in time to preach on Sunday at the Church of the Living God. Ms. Agnew says she hasn't spoken to Rev. McGriff since the incident. "I'm hurt. I'm devastated," she said. "My neighbor saw her break into my house. What is there to explain?"

Our guys don't break into houses. At least not on Christmas Eve.

WFDS

3237...Brett Farve - Penis - Pictures

Those three [four actually] mots tend to bring 'em in.

Let's see if it works this time.

BTW, Brett Farve, the man who won't say won't, and his penis, are apparently starting tonight in Philly against SPCA man of the year and the NFL's most valuable player, Michael Vick.

WFDS

3236...Christmas, Chanukuh And December

Seem to have killed my blog.

LOL.

So the header of the next post will bring it back.

WFDS

3235...The Good Old Days Of Segregation

"I just don't remember [segregation] as being that bad," says Governor Haley Barbour of Mississippi.

By the way it wasn't that bad for Mr. Barbour coz he grew up White and wealthy in 1960s Mississippi not Black and of any income level.

Oh, and he wants to be President. Of the United States.

Asked about coming of age in Yazoo City, Miss., during the civil rights "revolution," in Bill Kristol's Weekly Standard Magazine, Governor Barbour, who was 16 when three civil rights workers were murdered in the state in the summer of 1964, an event that was fictionalized into the film Mississippi Burning, tells Andrew Ferguson, "I just don't remember it as being that bad." He goes on to talk of standing "at the periphery" when Martin Luther King Jr. spoke in his hometown (but not really paying attention to what was said because he was too busy looking at girls) and to salute the Citizens Council for (supposedly) ensuring the peaceful integration of Yazoo City's schools -- something that was achieved 15 years after Brown v. Board of Education.

Schmenge.

The wanna be POTUS also lauds the Citizen's Councils for helping integrate the South.

Uh, no.

FYI the Citizen's Councils, also known as The White Citizen's Councils, were the Klan with education, networking skills and restraint. Think of them as BIA's.

This guy is insane in the membrane.

WFDS

3234...Memories

As the song says, "Memories can be beautiful but yet..."

"Never Forget" is the catch phrase associated with the largest pogrom in history and Israel's Holocaust memorial says it has now identified 4 million of the 6 million Jews who were killed by Nazis in the Holocaust of World War II.

Take pause to let those numbers sink in.

4 million named; 2 million not.

The Associated Press says that "The task is especially difficult because entire families were wiped out and documents were destroyed during the Nazi genocide."

WFDS

3233...What I Like About You Stephen Harper

Is in yesterday's Ottawa Citizen, right up front, page A2.

Prime Minister Stephen Harper threw more cold water on the idea that the federal government could help build an arena so that Quebec City could win an NHL franchise. "There's no federal program to fund professional sports facilities," he told French-TV network TVA hosts Paul Larocque and Jean Lapierre from the prime minister's cottage at Harrington Lake in an interview recorded Dec. 17. "Not now, not in previous decades. Pro sports are first and foremost the responsibility of the private sector, and I am encouraging the private sector to come up with a solution. "If Ottawa did something like that, we'd have to do it across the country, and the list is long. Hamilton, Regina, Edmonton, even my hometown of Calgary, everyone wants a new facility."

Mr. Prime Minister must be following my advice and reading http://www.fieldofschemes.com/

WFDS

3232...Senator For A Day

Larry Smith has announced that the Upper House is all fine and dandy but he wants to sit in the House of Commons.

CBC TV [and everyone else] reports that Mr. Smith will run for the Conservatives in Montreal West Island riding of Lac- Saint-Louis. This riding is presently held by Francis Scarpaleggia. Mr. Smith is going to sit in the Senate for now, but by law will have to step down to run for the House of Commons. That's what Quebec Conservative Michael Fortier did in the 2008 federal election. His bid was unsuccessful.

Interestingly the last Tory to represent the riding was Bob Layton, the father of NDP leader Jack Layton.

WFDS

3231...Don't Drop The Soap

CNSNews.com reports that

A special Defense Department working group appointed by Defense Secretary Robert Gates has recommended that the military should “expressly prohibit” heterosexuals from using separate showers, bathrooms and bunking facilities from homosexuals when the repeal of the law banning homosexuals from the military goes into effect. "Though many regard the very discussion of this topic as offensive, given the number of Service members who raised it, we are obliged to address it,” the report said.

so there is the problem, like, no.

In a world that there is so much going on and so much to worry about this is such a non issue.

WFDS

3230...This Is Some Serious Bullsh*t

Twas in Saturday's National Post and it is the story of the Central Ontario hockey coach who had the courage of his convictions and is paying for such.

On Nov. 15, as first reported by the Toronto Star, Walsh's NAPA Auto Parts team was playing a team sponsored by Austin Trophies. Two kids went to the penalty box after a skirmish--one of them, from Austin Trophies, called the other, Andrew McCallum, what is euphemistically referred to as the N-word. Two game off-ice officials heard him. The Austin Trophies coach benched the kid for a period, then brought him back. An apology was asked for. It was not given.

So Walsh pulled his team off the ice. They were leading but willing to forfeit to protest what they rightly considered an unacceptable act.

So the OMHA suspended the kid for three games. Walsh was suspended under the auspices of Hockey Canada's rule 10.14, Refusing to Start Play.

The coach who reacted to the improper language is out for the year; the other, along with the kid from the KKK, is okay.

What a country.

WFDS

3229...Election Time

It is coming kids.

Stephen Harper has to pull the plug soon; sometime in '11 I would presume and that means we, the Liberals, have to make a decision. That choice is whether we want to do as the Greens and the Dippers do, be right or whether we want to do what we usta do, back in the day, i.e. when we were in power, and that is to win.

It is all well and fine to be the toast of the chattering classes in our pressed blue jeans and our three hundred dollar plaid shirts but four more years of Stephen Harper could pretty much kill Our Home And Native Land.

WFDS

3228...Brilliant BTW

The Next One getting himself all over the front pages, the radio, TV and social media.

PETA = too easy to manipulate.

Take that Pamela Anderson!

WFDS

3227...Fur Flys Over Xmas Card

PETA has their collective panties in a knot over Justin Trudeau's Christmas card.

The card features The Next One with family wearing Canada Goose parkas which are, horror of horrors, trimmed with coyote fur.

The coyote fur pissed off PETA; the fact that the coats are stuffed with goose down did na piss off PETA.

I guess the People For The Ethical Treatment Of Animals play favourutes.

WFDS

3226...Former Hitler Youth Member Speaks Out

The Associated Press reports that chirping from Vatican City "Pope Benedict XVI said Thursday that Christians suffer more religious persecution than any other group, denouncing lack of freedom of worship as an 'intolerable' threat to world security."

That Holocaust was kind of messy too, no? But that was then; this is now.

Anyhow he's all miffed and good on him.

WFDS

3225...The Man Through A Ball Over 107 MPH

His name was Bob Feller, he pitched 18 years with the Cleveland Indians in the '30s, '40s and '50s.

If it wasn't for Adolf Hitler, who stole four years from his Hall of Fame career, he may have won 350 games.

Still, not a shabby career for the Heater From Van Meter.

It has been reported widely that Mr. Feller died yesterday at the age of 92.

Prayers.

WFDS

3224...Dya Think They Will Name Him Stephen?

The Honourable Helena Guergis gave birth to a baby boy Wednesday morning at 3 15.

As it turns out they are not naming the baby Stephen Harper Jaffer.

Instead they are going for Zavier Rahim Nizarali Jaffer.

WFDS

3223...Final Note On Joe Pao

Pao.

Is it not true, family and friends of Mr. P*2, that after facillitating the death penalty at Waterloo he still be unemployed?

Perhaps it is because he sucks?

WFDS

3223...Wisconsin Delievers The Mail

In the nude.

The Milwaukee Journal Sentinel reports that a fifty two year old postman delievered the mail in the nude to a twenty one year old woman in that city on December 4 of this year.

Hello. December. In Milwaukee. No clothes. You nuts.

WFDS

3222...A Fan Writes

2492...Joe Paopao Kills Another Football Team, a post made almost half a year ago, has resulted in yet another response from my old friend Anonymous.

This time 'tis this:

Anonymous said...
Learn to research properly you scum. This article is clearly invalid, as the core statistics are not even right. Can't fail any harder than that. You're a fucking joke.

December 14, 2010 4:58 PM

What I said was that Joe Paopao was the worst coach in the history of football. He has been part of four teams that have died with him on the payroll, the Ottawa Rough Riders, the Ottawa Renegades, the San Francisco Demons and the University of Waterloo. And he was on the sidelines as one league, the XFL, croaked.

He also never won a Grey Cup as a player or head coach, in an eight/nine team league, in beaucoup de years of trying.

I did miss the fact that he won once, as an assistant with BC, in 2000 I believe it was.

Plus, unlike his fans, I have the fortitude to sign my name.

WFDS

3221...Question Is: Will They Be Spayed?

Or neutered?

Those were the ending words of Bob Eubanks on The Price Is Right and those bon mots continue with his successor Drew Carey.

Next Monday the two greatest hockey players on the planet, Sidney Crosby and Alexander Ovechkin will appear on the show with ex NHLer and ex Gatineau Olympique Jeremy Roenick to introduce hockey themed showcases.

WFDS

3220...A General Falls

For people of a certain age in your capital the name Ken "The General" Grant means something/a lot.

Back in the day he owned Ottawa. In fact he was the most dominant morning man in Ottawa
and, arguably, in North America.

Now he is hosting video bingo on the Rogers Community Channel.

Time to go, bro.

WFDS

3219...Brett Favre Penis Update

For the first time in 293 games, that's like for frigging ever, Number 4 will not be starting tonight in Detroit against the New York Giants.

End of an era.

Now he can concentrate on his first love: personal photography.

WFDS

3218...America: What A Country

The American Dream.

The Speaker-elect of the House of Representatives, the most powerful Republican in the US of A, John Boehner, cried his way through his 60 Minutes interview yesterday, with most of the tears set off by the mere mention of The American Dream.

Apparently The American Dream does not include comprehensive health care.

A breaking story from the New York Times by Kevin Sack is headlined:

Health Care Law Ruled Unconstitutional

"The judge said Congress went too far by requiring most Americans to obtain insurance, a key provision of the health care overhaul that passed muster in two prior court challenges."

Of course you don't want everyone to have insurance; many people never get sick so it is unfair...oy vey, what a pile of bullsh*t.

Of course they do have better TV than Canuckistan.

WFDS

3217...Note To Mister Law And Order

Dunno if that is Stephen Harper or Vince Toews or that new kid, Julian Fantino
but here is a brilliant l and o idea.

In the USA dashboard mounted video cams are mandatory in all police cars.

Seems reasonable.

WFDS

3216...The Curse Of Brett Favre

An interesting life he has.

He retires.

Unretires.

Emails a picture of a hot dog to a hot chick.

Now his stadium's roof collapses under the weight the snow in the Twin Cities.

That wouldn't happen if he was back on da farm.

WFDS

3215...Survey Says

Stephen Harper is the MVP, Most Valuable Politician, in our home and native land.

This was a phone poll of pols and pundits and and and done early last month.

The MVP race looked like this:

Prime Minister Stephen Harper: 21%

Government House Leader John Baird 14.9%

NDP Leader Jack Layton 12%

The LVP race looked this way:

Liberal Leader Michael Ignatieff 14.5%

Industry Minister Tony Clement 12.5%

Prime Minister Stephen Harper 12.5%

Bloc Leader Gilles Duceppe 8.3%

Also notable was comeback of the year, Maxime Bernier and the one that they want to see comeback, the girl who's picture is taped to the ceiling above Mr. Harper's bed, Helena Guergis.

WFDS

3214...Morning Joe Cherry

Or Don Ohlmeyer him.

Those two men gave money to candidates in the last round of elex in America and got suspended from CNBC or MSNBC or some NBC, without pay I believe, for doing so.

My understanding is that Don Cherry pimped for Julian Fantino in the recent election.

Quid pro and f'ing quo.

By the way, even though he was a crap coach, hello, who C A N N O T er C O U L D N O T count and also, by the way, submarined the Colorado Rockies and was an even sh*ttier hockey player, I like him. Even had a Ron and Don clock for awhile.

WFDS

3213...Michael Moore Is Right: Rich Life Differently

For example take, uh, Michael Moore.

The star of the stuffwhitepeoplelike people and the everyman's everyman has decided to drop pounds.

So, did he go to Wal Mart and buy a month's worth of Slim Fast? Of course not: Wal Mart exploits its workers.

Join a gym? Uh, sweating is so bourgeouise in this epoch.

No, Mr. Moore did what many of would, if we could, checking himself into a luxury weight-loss camp in Florida.

"A fellow patron of the Pritikin Longevity Center and Spa told The Daily Caller that Moore turned up at the $4,500-a-week camp in Miami last month. The liberal filmmaker has been there before and told the Chicago Tribune in 2007 that the camp is where he learned to incorporate more fiber into his diet."

4,500 a week to not get fed?

Michael Moore is now one of them.

WFDS

3212...More Fast Food Fun From America

Cut and paste from WPLG Local 10.

TAVERNIER, Fla. -- A man accidentally shot himself in the leg while waiting in line to order breakfast at a McDonald's restaurant in the Florida Keys.

Authorities on Wednesday said 44-year-old Rafael Ubeda didn't realize he was injured right away. In fact, he drove away when the restaurant manager asked him to leave after the shot was fired Tuesday morning.

The manager reported the incident to the Monroe County Sheriff's Office and deputies stopped Ubeda a few minutes later.

That's when a deputy spotted blood on the man's leg. Ubeda was treated at Mariner's Hospital.

Deputies said Ubeda will not be charged because the gun was not "knowingly" fired.

No wonder people sneak into that country.

WFDS

3211...Have It Your Way

That is Burger King's slogan for sure but I don't think that his way was the dead way for Paul Cannon of the former Motor City. Mr. Cannon died of a blunt force trauma following the fight with an employee at the fast-food restaurant on Gratiot near St. Aubin on Thursday.

The Detroit News reports that "Detroit Police spokeswoman Yvette Walker said Cannon was reportedly causing a disturbance and tried to hit the employee, and the employee swung back. Cannon died at a local hospital. 'The victim fell to the floor...He was conveyed to a hospital and pronounced dead.'"

My fave part of the story is how the BK people reacted. They closed the restaurant Thursday night and Friday. Left the drive thru open though.

Bidness be bidness.

WFDS

3210...Line Of The Day: Re Perimiter

John Ivison in today's National Post writes: If Maude Barlow thinks the "secret Canada-United States perimeter security plan" is an "outrageous attack on the rights of Canadians," it follows it must be a good thing.

Ah, Maude, my favourite Lennonist.

As in John Lennon, everybody is wrong but me.

WFDS

3209...Nostalgia Triple E Style

Mark Kennedy in today's Sun papers waxes nostalgic about the Triple E Senate the Reformers, that's you Stephen Harper, demanded.

Equal. Elected. Effective.

Then Mr. Harper got in power and the Triple E Senate morphed into the Triple C Senate.

Connected. Conservative. Cronyism.

Mr. Kennedy quotes David Docherty, a Wilfrid Laurier University political science professor who says that our beloved Prime Minister is "...playing the same game that former prime ministers did, except people like Jean Chretien were open and honest about it when they said 'That's what it's there for.' "

He is the Prime Minister, he has stacked the Senate, he could change it.

He just won't.

Another Tory lie.

WFDS

3208...He Is No Scott Bradley

No he isn't.

He is Stephen Harper and he played rockstar last night.

John Ibbitson of the Globe and Mail fawned all over our beloved PM:

Stevie Harper and the Herringbones rocked the Conservative Party Christmas party Wednesday night, to raucous applause from what was, admittedly, a friendly house.

Sweet Caroline started the show, with the Prime Minister in a grey shirt and playing an electric piano, assisted by local musicians Richard Linke on guitar and bass, Phil Nolan on drums and Andre Van Schyndel playing bass and accordion. The show continued with I’m On My Way by The Proclaimers, The Who’s The Seekers and a few bars of Imagine in tribute to the 30th anniversary of John Lennon’s death.

Mr. Harper called the former Beatle “probably the most important person in the history of rock."

Political strategists will see a repeat and expansion of last year’s surprise performance at the National Arts Centre – a sure portent of an imminent election. Like most amateur musicians, Mr. Harper has no plans of quitting his day job.

Let me get this straight: radio stations have to play 30/40 per cent Cancon but our PM plays zero per cent?

Things that make me go hmmmmmm.

WFDS

3207..."What You Save In Money...

...You Lose In Dignity."

The great Mike Cliff said that on stage at Yuk Yuks in Ottawa many moons ago.

True dat.

He was referring to Giant Tiger where this weekend you save not only money but also the HST, GST, PST whatever.

You still lose your dignity of course.

WFDS

3206...The Perimeter: Great For Canada

Let's hope that it is an EU style border allowing Canucks and Yanks to move freely between border communities. I live in a border town, Ottawa, and can freely move between two different yet similar nation states, Quebec and Ontario. It is cool.

As a regular guy I can save money on premium gas, beer and groceries in Gatineau and not have to worry about delays at the border. Ditto Gat people who can fly across the bridges to take advantage of the better shopping and culture and hockey opportunities in Ontario.

If it, the perimeter, is like the EU it will allow our country to fufill the destiny that Sir Wilfrid Laurier envisioned for it, albeit a century later than he thought.

WFDS

3205...143 000 000 To Kill A Moose

That is 143 million Canuckbucks to take down a Bullwinkle somewhere along our border.

Doesn't matter if it is the Tories or the Libs, you know that the bureaucratic morass they manage will figure out a way to spend beaucoup d'argent when spending a little change would do the job just as well.

My morning Ottawa Sun tells that the sidearms for the 1,568 border guards that keep our home and native land relatively kinda safe from both terrorists and cheap Yankee stuff cost 143 000 000.

And, God bless them, the Tories want to spend another 781 000 000 to arm 4,800 more guards.

Love it.

WFDS

3204...We Get It Now: You Are Not A Lesbian

Oprah Winfrey, who, yet again, is on the cover of Oprah Magazine, says that she is not a lesbian in an interview with Barbara Walters that ABC is running tonight.

She even cried when asked about her twenty year relationship with Gayle King, a relationship that started in the early 80's.

One thing is for certain, Ms. Winfrey is not a great calculator.

WFDS

3203...Follow-up On Blind DUI

Read back to WFDS Post 3197...Blind Man Arrested For DUI.

I was following up on the story, like the good reporter that I am, and noted in the Bartlesville Examiner-Enterprise, that is in Oklahoma btw, that our hero, Mark Alan Watson, was owed some court time to do some 'splaining.

He did not 'splain very goodly. In fact he 'splained badly. "As he was about to defend himslf to a judge on Monday afternoon, he feel on his face in the middle of the courtroom. He was prompltly arrested again for public intoxication.

WFDS

3202...Christmas Ask

The Carleton Tavern in Ottawa, a fifteen minute drive/forty minute walk west of Parliament Hill, five and fifteen south of Tunney's, needs your help this Christmas.

The Carleton has been serving a meal to those of us who are less fortunate and need a little fellowship and a little cheer on December 25th.

What the Carleton needs is unwrapped gifts, sox are especially welcome, and food, turkeys on down. Vegetables, pies, squares, cases of pop and so on.

You may drop stuff off at 227 Armstrong from 11 in the morning til midnite, seven days a week or call Sam/Simon 613 728 4424

WFDS

3201...The Queen Of Soul Is Very Sick

MyFoxDetroit.com confirmed today what many of us feared. 68 year old music icon Aretha Franklin has cancer.

MyFoxDetroit.com did not say which type of cancer but the National Enquirer reported that Miss Franklin has incurable pancreatic cancer, which has a 5-10 percent chance of recovery. The chances would be even lower for someone of Franklin’s age and weight, the paper said.

She is one of the most honored singers in American history, has won numerous Grammys, the National Medal of Arts, the Presidential Medal of Freedom and has been inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

Say a prayer.

WFDS

3200...The Parade Will Take Its Usual Route

That would be the Montreal Canadiens Stanley Cup parade.

WFDS

3199...Yet Another Reason To Be Proud

Craigslist has jettisoned sex ads in the States but we have them here in Canada.

Professor Benjamin Perrin, a spoilsport from UBC, is not as happy as I, saying that "They [the sex ads] are completely disrespectful to Canada. There's no principled reason for why they're ignoring repeated requests to stop this online flesh market." Ironically I read the words of the author of Invisible Chains: Canada's Underground World of Human Trafficking in the Ottawa Sun which, like all the Suns has several pages of women [and some men] selling their flesh.

Oh, Canada.

WFDS

3198...And The Home Of The

Understanding.

Open to others.

Weird.

That would be Canada's military.

Dress rules established for transsexuals in military

That is the headline in this morning's National Post. Front page.

So, while the United States is still wringing its hands over gays in the military and so on the Canuck forces have realized that if someone is willing to serve, willing to sacrifice their lives for their Home And Native Land and want to do it wearing something silky underneath their uniform, we good.

Another reason to be proud.

WFDS

3197...Blind Man Arrested For DUI

It could only happen in a few parts of the world: The Ottawa Valley, Newfoundland or Oklahoma.

This is Oklahoma and this is cut and paste from NewsOn6 in the Sooner State:

BARTLESVILLE, Oklahoma -- A 41-year-old Bartlesville man being arraigned in Washington County District Court Monday for DUI, leaving the scene of an accident, driving under suspension and assault on a police officer was re-arrested for reportedly being drunk after he fell down before the judge.

A short time later, Mark Watson failed a breathalyzer test administered by sheriff's deputies.

The initial charges stemmed from Watson's arrest early Monday morning after he had reportedly been involved in a hit and run crash in Bartlesville.

Bartlesville Police investigating the 2:28 a.m. crash found Watson's vehicle and questioned him.

In the probable cause affidavit filed with the court, Watson told officers, "I'm ------- drunk, I was driving but I did not run the stop sign. That ----- hit me."

The affidavit goes on to say Watson refused to take a blood or breath test, telling the officers, "I ain't taking no ------- tests. I'm ------- drunk. I'm blind anyways and I can't drive."

Police say he also kicked an officer during the arrest.

The Washington County D.A.'s office is expected to file additional charges following Monday's court appearance.

WFDS

3196...Hitler The Liberal

Jane Taber tells all that Big Red is demanding that rookie MP Julian Fantino be censured by our beloved Prime Minister "...for remarks he made to The Globe and Mail this weekend, comparing Liberal campaign strategy to Hitler's propaganda tactics."

Mr. Fantino, who spent most of the campaign avoiding the campaign, "...expressed his frustration with charges by the Liberals that he had run a 'peek-a-boo' campaign, avoiding public debates and afraid to address tricky issues."

Stupid facts. Facts which show that he did play peek-a-boo. Facts which mess up his argument.

Mr. Fantino "...told The Globe that was simply not the case, that the Liberals had made the allegation out of desperation. 'I think they intended to hurt my campaign,' Mr. Fantino said. 'The things they said ... a lot of them were absolute lies. They keep repeating [them]. I call it the Hitler theory. You tell a lie often enough you hope that some people will believe it.'"

Comparing the Liberals to the Nazis.

What a schmenge.

WFDS

3195...Kyoto Is Dead

Not Stephane Dion's dog, thank goodness, no, it is the other Kyoto.

That is what an editorial in today's National Post posits. It points out that the Kyoto Protocol has been ratified by only a fifth of the 200 countries needed to make it fly.

Canada was the first of signatory nations to admit that, holy f*ck, no way Jose are we gonna make the limits.

There is no doubt to this layman that the climate has moderate since the days of his youth. There is also no doubt that the Kyoto Protocol, a really great idea, no go.

New plan.

WFDS

3194...CFL Is Not Begging The Feds For Cash

They are partnering.

You say tomato; I say tomato.

As rose by any other name.

Etc.

Mark Masters in the National Post writes that "The Canadian Taxpayers Federation blasted the federal government on Friday for granting the CFL $800,000 to help hold a regular season game in Moncton, N.B. in September. The not-for-profit group also demanded the government turn down funding requests for the 2012 Grey Cup festival and for a new stadium in Regina."

Bear in mind Regina, which has a CFL team that needs the dome for, max, six dates a year, wants more than a dome, they want an uber dome. Grand Forks, North Dakota, sorta down the road from Pile Of Bones, got a full service dome for 70 million and change; the Rider Dome is pegged at 423. And the dome in the Peace Garden State loses handfuls of change every year.

The issue at hand is that the CFL wants 12 mill for the 100th Grey Cup in Edmonton. The CFL seems to have got confused when the feds gave them 800k to put on a game in Moncton.

Let me break it down for Mark Cohon and the crew at CFL head office: the Grey Cup is going to happen and be successful no matter what; the 12 million just means the suites will be better. Moncton on the other hand broke new ground and engaged Atlantic Canucks in the Canadian Football League. Plus it cost well under a mill'.

WFDS

3193...A Promotion For My Alma Mater

Carleton University was known as Last Chance U. That of course was during the era that Carleton truly was the 46th best university in Canada.

I had breakfast with some undergrads at CU today and found out that Carleton is now referred to Third Choice U.

A promotion for the U of K.

WFDS

3192...Imagine How Little I Care

CNN leads a story with these bon mots:

Barring a steep drop in crude prices, U.S. motorists can expect to see gas prices exceeding $3 per gallon, if they are not seeing such prices already, according to a new survey of filling stations.

The latest Lundberg Survey of cities in the continental United States was conducted Friday. It showed the national average price for a gallon of self-serve unleaded gasoline at $2.91, an increase of 3.9 cents from the last survey two weeks earlier, survey publisher Trilby Lundberg said.

LOL.

I am paid 4.52 Canuck Bucks for a U. S. sized gallon today.

Canada leads in yet another category!!!

WFDS

3191...Bad News Equals Good News

It's all in the spin.

The bad news is that ZDF's live reality show Wetten Dass was halted after a 23-year-old contestant was severely injured while trying to jump over a moving car driven by his father.

The good news is that the incident prevented an appearance by the scourge of Stratford, Ont, Justin Bieber.

WFDS

3190...Of All The Places In The World

To have free wi-fi, the Carleton Tavern, also, proudly, known as the ugly club, 227 Armstrong, Parkdale Market, Tunney's Pasture, Ottawa, would be the last place one would think would have such magic.

I mean they just got colour TV in 2004.

Pretty darn strange.

WFDS

3189...Turn Out The Lights The Party's Over

Kinda cool that the news of Dandy Don Meredith's suddenish death at 72 breaks on a Monday.

The first star for the Dallas Cowboy, the ex QB was a member of the first Monday Night Football broadcast team from 1970 onwards.

Prayers.

WFDS

3188...Zero Means Zero

According to Kathleen Harris' piece
in the Suns today " 0% of Atlantic Canadians said they would donate to political parties."

Zero.

That is definitive.

WFDS

3187...Liar Liar Pants On Fire

Imagine my surprise when I turned to the letters to the editor page and saw a letter from the next Prime Minister of Canada, Michael Ignatief.

Imagine my surprise when he, rightfully, accused one of the prime time Stephen Harpers of lying.

MP Finley deceptive: Ignatieff
The Spec (Hamilton)

Re: Bill C-428

Recently MP Diane Finley sent letters to households in Haldimand-Norfolk which spread misinformation about the position of myself and local Liberal candidate, Bob Speller, on Bill C-428, the Private Members’ Bill that would amend residency requirements for Old Age Security (OAS) benefits.

This bill is proposed by Liberal MP Ruby Dhalla. While the intent of the bill — to increase assistance to new Canadians — is admirable, I have made it clear our party cannot support it.

Lowering the residency requirement for entitlement to OAS from 10 years to three would be prohibitively expensive and only provide assistance to a very small number of Canadians. There are a number of support systems and legal requirements already available to assist new Canadians.

Human Resources Minister Finley knows Bill C-428 is not supported by the Liberal Party of Canada, or by Speller. Yet she has sent this taxpayer-funded letter to thousands of residents, calling the bill a “Liberal proposal” and voicing her opposition to it.

Canadians expect their government to work with them to help solve the challenges they face. It is unfortunate they have a Conservative government so preoccupied with trying to boost its political fortunes through division and deception that Canadian families are being left behind.

The Liberal Party places great importance on retirement security. The measures we have committed to are compassionate and fiscally responsible. We would implement a Supplementary Canada Pension Plan to allow Canadians to voluntarily invest funds in our national pension. We would also give employees with stranded pensions following bankruptcy the option of growing their pension assets through the Canada Pension Plan. We would protect those on long-term disability by giving them preferred status as creditors in case of bankruptcy.

Haldimand-Norfolk residents should ask Finley what her government is proposing to help Canadians retire with dignity. They should ask what her government has done to halt local unemployment — to support farmers and locked-out steel workers, to stand up for Bick’s Pickles workers, and to finally take action on the unresolved situation in Caledonia.

Michael Ignatieff, Leader of the Liberal Party of Canada

If you cannot trust the Conservative Party of Canada, who can you trust?

WFDS

3186...Ontario Gets Screwed As Usual

That is the thesis of an editorial in the Sunday Star.

The Toronto paper's editorial can be summed up in the opening paragraph:

The contrast could not be starker. In federal by-elections last Monday, there were 120,864 eligible voters in the riding of Vaughan, just north of Toronto, and only 53,549 in Dauphin-Swan River-Marquette in rural Manitoba. That means the vote of a Vaughan resident counts for less than half of the ballot of a person living in the Manitoba riding.

This is some serious bullsh*t.

Look at PEI; there are more people in my building than in all of Prince Edward Island yet they get four seats in the House of Commons.

Rep by pop.

We could learn from the Damn Yankees and should. My proposal would be six Senators per province and then pure rep by population with a minimum of one MP per province.

WFDS

3185...So Now I Have Seen It All

Don Cherry all in blue crying over the Leafs.

Julian Fantino calling Justin Trudeau a bully.

A superimposed Met Life blimp floating over a domed stadium.

These are the end times.

WFDS

3184...The Bully Emerges

Now that it is in the bag Julian Fantino, the rookie Stephen Harper from Vaughn, has pulled his dick out and started swinging it.

Jane Taber's lead in the weekend Globe and Mail says it all: "For 30 days Julian Fantino held his tongue, campaigning as the Conservative candidate in the suburban Toronto riding of Vaughan, surviving on pizza and trying to ignore the Liberal attacks. He had vowed to take the high road during his campaign – and he did."

Translation: the big bully hid for a month.

In a rambling story full of non sequitors the future scary cabinet minister, a guy who is on record in his memoir Duty: The Life of a Cop as saying that the Charter goes too far, shows his true, scary, colours.

First Caldonia; next Canada.

WFDS

3183...Canada Leads The World

And I contribute over a grand a year to the cause.

According to, and I don't doubt her, Stefania Morretti writing for the QMI Agency, the Suns et. al., we here in The Great White North are "...the world's highest-paying wireless users..."

We're number one!

WFDS

3182...There Is A General Protocol At University

You check into residence, take a few years of class, graduate, move out and onward.

The Victoria Times Colonist has a nice little piece about Alkis Gerd'son who checked in to res at UVic in '91 and is only checking out today.

He ain't a slow learner; stopped taking classes in '97 and has a degree. He just likes it there. The matter has been the focus of hearings in B.C. Supreme Court and the B.C. Human Rights Tribunal.

In theory he will be off campus by noon BC time today.

WFDS

3181...Happy Hanukkah Sports Fans

There have been a lot of great Jewish athletes.

Sandy Koufax. Ryan Braun. Red Holzman. Benny Friedman. Bob Nystrom. Dara Torres. Dolph Schayes. Hank Greenberg. Sid Luckman.

But the greatest of them all was Goldberg the Goalie, the original Mighty Duck.

Happy Hanukkah.

WFDS

3180...News From Ur Capital

Things are spiralling out of control.

Every day another founded allegation is laid against the Ottawa Police Service and it is all over the papers.

As best the WFDS can discern all the malfeasance be going on north of the Queensway/417 and east of Carlingwood which is the Ottawa version of inside the Beltway.

What are the powers at the OPS doing? Union chief Steven Boucher is on the front page of the Ottawa Citizen advising his charges to circle the wagons; the beleaguered Chief, Vern White, is, in the middle of the
biggest crisis of his career, jetting to Finland for three weeks to get
married.

Three weeks: that is a helluva a long wedding.

WFDS

3179...Ron Santo Passes

If are a Cubs fan, you know him.

If you are not, it won't impact you.

Prayers.

WFDS

3178...He Doth Protestest Too Muchuth

Something like that; I am an English scholar but I am a Carleton English scholar soooooooo I will cut and paste this puppy from Linda Diebel's column in this morning's Toronto Star:

It's not often Stephen Harper stutters, or blushes.

But being told that dominatrix Terri-Jean Bedford had challenged him to man up over the issue of legalizing prostitution did the job Thursday.

"Uh, I've never been, uh, called upon to, uh, respond to a dominatrix," said the Prime Minister.

Journalists at a Mississauga press conference roared with laughter.

"Uh, just so we are absolutely clear on this - I don't know who this individual is," he said, his delivery stronger.

"I am sure I have never met her."

He doth protestest too muchuth.

WFDS

3177...Dany Heatley He Don't Care

Hated by many, most, all Ottawa Senator fans, number 15 rolled into town with the Sharks, got a point for himself and two for the team, winning 4/0 at the Bank.

On the banks of Lake Erie the prodigal son, LeBron James, returned to the only town he ever called home, until this fall, and dropped 38 on his erstwhile team, leading the Miami Heat to a 28 point win over the Cleveland Cavaliers.

Interestingly back in the day the Cavaliers were commonly referred to as the Cadavers. Perhaps time has come to returen to that monniker.

WFDS

3176...It Is The End For The World Famous

My friend and number 18 fan Margaret Wyse sent me this:

if you begin typing world famous .... in the google search engine you get this



move over dan



http://www.sugarbushsquirrel.com/

If you imagine I am crushed you are abso right.

WFDS

3175...Prodigal Sons Return

Well, no, not really but I find if I put Prodigal Son in the title it teases about 250 Christians to click on the page sooooooo.

The returning to the place they used to play takes up too much space also.

It is Dany Heatley returning to the town he scorned, Ottawa, for the bright lights and fast pace of San Jose.

And LeBron returns to his hometown with his new team Miami. NBAction.

WFDS

3174...We've Seen This Movie Before

A zillion times.

This time the Edmonton Oilers, who cannot getting anyone in the Alberta capital, be it tax payers or a corporate sugar daddy, to build them a new 1 000 000 000 . 00 dollar rink, who are making gestures to other cities, specifically one of the only two cities extant that want an NHL team, Quebec City.

"Top Edmonton Oilers executives, including President of Hockey Operations Kevin Lowe, met with Quebec City Mayor Regis Labeaume Wednesday to discuss possible relocation, QMI Agency has learned."

Same bullsh*t; different town.

WFDS

3173...Le Important Town In La Belle

That of course would be Montreal. OMG, have you ever heard anyone say anything bad about that city? It is wicked and wicked. Plus it scored highly, higher than any other town in Canada, in a new ranking of 150 cities that reveals the urban centres that have made the best rebounds from the global financial crisis that began in 2008.

The Global Metro Monitor, released by Washington’s Brookings Institute, published in today's Globe and Mail, measured a number of factors that revealed "...that the financial downturn has shaken up the metropolitan world order. The cities that have demonstrated the greatest economic resilience are not centralized in the United States or Europe, but spread throughout Latin America and Asia, where a new network of trading partners, from Lima, Peru, to Shenzhen, China, has shed its reliance on American markets."

Montreal, a unique market in the Americas, finished 27th; Austin, Texas finished 26th. It is interesting to note that the same National pride that fuels a lot of energy in Quebec is also evident deep in the heart of Texas.

Dublin, Ireland, finished 150th. Out of 150.

WFDS

3172...In A Related Story

The LPGA, that is the Ladies Professional Golf Association, has decided to allow girls who used to be boys to play on the tour.

Translation: CBS Sports reports that transgendered golfers will be allowed now that a vote by players eliminated the tour's "...female at birth..." rule.

Will this lead to a rush to the clinic by middling male golfers?

No price too high.

WFDS

3171...Don't Tell Stockwell Day About This

QMI tells me over my morning coffee, which I usually have halfway through Oprah, that you can be m a d e gay.

There is a catch. You have to be a bird.

The University of Florida, that's where Gatorade was invented so this is a serious science place, Go Gators!, the science department down at the U of F, "...found out that birds exposed to [methyl] mercury in their diet have a significantly higher chance of being gay."

55% of boys started dating other boys.

I wonder how much methylmercury there is in the north-west end of your capital?

WFDS

3170...More On The Leafs

The Toronto Maple Leafs, who are rumoured to be being packaged with other entities to Rogers for 1.3 billion are the most valuable hockey team in the NHL and, I would presume, the world. They are worth $505M USD.

Forbes gave up the goods yesterday. Rangers are team two at $461M USD and the Habs are third at $408M USD.

Your Ottawa Senators come in 17th out of 30 at $196M USD, not bad for a team that was bought for less than 65 per cent of that price less than a decade ago.

WFDS

3169...Sorry Leaf Fans

Raptors fans.

FC Toronto fans.

Rogers, the company that has mismanaged the Toronto Blue Jays, a team that once drew over 4 000 000 fans a season, into a farm team for the true elites in MLB, are, the banner headline on the front page of your Toronto Star, making a 1.3 billion, that is 1 300 000 000 . 00 CanuckBucks, offer for your Leafs.

Turnout the lights, the party is over.

WFDS

3168...Areatha Franklin Prayer Vigil

I sure hope I spelt the Queen of Soul's name correctly.

Problem is she has a big problem, a big medical problem and Local4 Detroit reports that as I write this there as a prayer vigil going on for Ms. Franklin. The problem, btw, is a medical one: she is gonna have an undisclosed medical procedure tommorrow.

Prayers.

WFDS

3167...I Almost Died Of Shock

When I read in yesterday's Ottawa Citizen that Doctor's in La Belle are routinely taking bribes for better and faster service.

It is all about language; what I would call a tip, The College Of Physicians calls a bribe.

The Montreal Gazette reported that the tips are as high as 10 000 . 00 Canuck bucks.

WFDS

3166...Biggest Loser

Ever.

The dummy who robbed Pat Burns' widow's car while she was at her husband's funeral.

But, like, doh, not only was Mr. Burns an ex coach of the Habs, he also was a copper and you are now priority 1 in all of everywhere.

Plus, stupid, most of the stuff you thiefed in at once invaluable and worthless.

WFDS

3165...Coolest Urn Ever

Front page news in La Belle this day, and page A3 of today's Ottawa Citizen, was info on future Hall of Famer Pat Burns funeral in Montreal.

The coolest thing is the great man's urn.

It is a model of the Stanley Cup, which he won with Jersey.

WFDS

3164...I Love My Dog

So much. Her name is Mara and she is the prettiest, most fun Lab in the world. She will be a year old on December 13th and I am crazy mad in love with her.

Not as much in love with though as other dog partners.

Take Wade Strickland. He is a 62 year old resident of Los Angeles and NBC LA reports that he has been placed on three years' probation for having sex with his dog, a female German shepherd mix.

Here is where it gets weird.

He was arrested by the police Animal Cruelty Task Force on February 2 after he was seen sexually violating the dog beneath a freeway overpass. You know, in public. Bad enough that he is, er, intercoursing the puppy but in plain sight?

He got three years probation, cannot own a pet during that time and has to go to counselling.

The German shepard was not available for comment.

WFDS

3163...Stop Ou Arreter

Cranston, Rhode Island, is a town of 80,000 people, about the size of Kingston.

A safety minded resident or residents of that town has put up 700 unauthorized stop signs in the city. Actually that is only part of the story "...as WPRI-TV reports, [city officials] say they've only partially solved the mystery of who put up nearly 700 stop signs that hadn't gotten proper approval. State Department of Transportation officials have said their workers were responsible for about one-third of the signs. The other two-thirds? A spokeswoman for the mayor says many may have been installed by city residents."

Question One: Where does one go to buy a stop sign?

Question Two: Are they valid, like, dya have to stop?

I don't have the answer for Question One but the answer to Question Two, direct from the mayor's office, is that "drivers ... should not take this as a free pass. A stop sign is a stop sign."

WFDS

3162...You Think YOU Had A Bad Day

A 21-year-old southeast Missouri man is expected to face charges after being arrested twice in the same day for possessing marijuana.

The Sikeston Standard Democrat reports that the man was first arrested five minutes after midnight Sunday at the Caruthersville Community Center. Police say they found several baggies of marijuana and several hundred dollars.

At 11:10 p.m., the same man was stopped for improper vehicle registration. Police say a search of his vehicle found several baggies of marijuana.

The suspect's name has not been released.

WFDS

3161...Next Wednesday Is Tomorrow

Scott Bradley, Liberal candidate for Ottawa Centre wants you to help him help the Ottawa Snowsuit Fund and the Shine Music Foundation.

Plus you can win a trip to Vegas direct from Uplands via Westjet.

A pair of bands lined up to get you in the Christmas. The (almost legendary) 20th Century Boys will again be playing hosts for the event and take the stage at 8 to get the night rocking. They'll be followed, fresh off their Hintonburg Hootenanny gig, by the audibly authentic "The Middlemen" - just after 9:30. Good times, recognizable music!

Tickets are $10 at the door, $5 for students, and 100% of the proceeds go to charity.

As a veteran of these events I have discovered that the more one drinks the better the 20th Century Boys sound.

WFDS

3160...Dan Lett Explains All

He scribbles for the Winnipeg Free-Press and he summed up Monday's bye election action thusly:

The Tories captured the last in a series of right-leaning suburban seats in Ontario. And it was the indefatigable Lamoureux, not the Liberal Machine, that triumphed in Winnipeg North. You can search for greater meaning in these results -- and Lord knows, we in the media will keep looking -- but it's not really there.

The sky is not falling. Unless you are Jack Layton.

WFDS

3159...This Is Why You Should Say Hi In The Halls

Of your apartment building.

So you don't spend three weeks trapped in the toliet.

ABC, the Oz ABC, reported last week that "French firefighters have freed a 69-year-old woman who spent three weeks trapped in her bathroom."

She became stuck after the bathroom door lock broke.

Police said the woman, who is recuperating in hospital, survived by drinking warm water from the bathroom tap and at night tried to call for help by tapping on piping but her concerned neighbours thought somebody was doing home unauthorized home repair and launched a petition to find out who it was and to have it stopped.

All though all tenants profess love for the unnamed woman, they didn't think to knock on her door for three weeks, that is 21 days and beaucoup de hours.

I have to think the unnamed woman was quite the b*tch.

WFDS

3158...And A Partridge In A Pear Tree

It wouldn't be the Christmas Season® without the obligatory "cost of the items in the 12 Days of Christmas" article. Costs are up over 10% from last year at just under $100,000 because homeless people ate all the partridges.

The list is outstripping inflation according to a piece the Associated Press ran over the weekend:

Trying to buy the 364 items repeated in all the song's verses — from 12 drummers drumming to a partridge in a pear tree — would cost $96,824, an increase of 10.8 percent over last year, according to the annual Christmas Price Index compiled by PNC Wealth Management.

So you might want to try for one of everything. That would cost only $23,439, or 9.2 percent more than last year.

The 27th annual holiday index has historically mirrored the national Consumer Price Index, but not this year. The PNC Christmas Price Index grew 9.2 percent from last year, compared with just a 1.1 percent increase in the much broader Consumer Price Index.

I think I will stick with Giant Tiger.

WFDS

3157...Well, They Gotta Get Around, Eh?

And bus service, non peak, is pretty bad in Ottawa and worse in Gatineau.

Glen McGregor in the Ottawa Citizen reports that "...newly released records show Conservative cabinet ministers and their aides have spent more than $1.3 million on taxis since taking office."

Actually it is mostly staffers coz cabinet ministers have cars and drivers.

Just a thought but wouldn't a motor pool be cheaper in the long run? Plus they wouldn't have to put their lives in peril in an Ottawa taxi.

A lot of the cab rides were apparently short runs, I figure under ten bucks, which means a lot of staffers are lazy f*cks. It would take longer to take a cab from DND to The Hill than walk there, considering the Blue Line policy of taking forever to dispatch a taxi.

WFDS

3156...Almost Forgot

With all my attention focused on Vaughn and the other two federal bye-elections this day I totally forgot that not only Michael Ignatieff's balls are on the line today but so are Pauline Marois.

Ms. Marois is, for those of you in the ROC, the leader of the Parti Quebecois and as Chantal Hebert points out in this morning's Toronto Star "Monday's must-watch by-election vote is taking place not in one of the three federal seats at play in Manitoba and Ontario, but rather in the Quebec provincial riding of Kamouraska-Témiscouata. If Parti Québécois Leader Pauline Marois does not do well in a massively francophone riding at a time when the popularity of Premier Jean Charest is at an all-time low, she will be hard-pressed to survive a leadership review set for next spring."

Word is that if the PQ gets smoked tonight Gilles Duceppe's wife will be at the liquor store tomorrow getting boxes in preparation for her old man moving his base from Ottawa to the other National Capital, the one without the NHL team, Quebec City.

Provincially the PQ have a fifteen point lead on the PLQ but in the bye-election, according to Ms. Hebert, it could go either way.

WFDS

3155...Merry Christmas/Please Stop The Music

Or write new songs.

We need a law.

Please.

WFDS

3154...Sometimes You Can Have It All

The Montreal Alouettes won the Grey Cup.

Yay!

The Saskatchewan Roughriders covered.

Yay!

And it stayed under.

Yay!

The perfect storm.

WFDS

3153...E Day

In three ridings in Canuckistan.

The one of interest, at least to moi, is the battle in Vaughn.

Will the voters in Vaughn do the right thing and vote for Liberal Tony Genco or will we add another pair of jackboots to the Stephen Harpers, this time worn by Julian Fantino.

WFDS

3152...Conservative Dies

Presumably Leslie Nielson was a Blue; his brudder Erik was, among other things, opposistion house leader back in the day.

It is widely reported that the clueless funnyman passed in Florida on Sunday.

A double whack for Regina yesterday, losing the Grey Cup and losing their most famous native son.

Prayers.

WFDS

3151...Porn In A Cup

The New York Daily News reports that porn on a cup is available in Crown Heights, New York City.

What it is a Dieci, ten shots of espresso in one cup, available exclusively at The Pulp & Bean.

This gives quite a jolt, so much so that Mr. Fisher won't sell it to anyone over 40.

WFDS

3150...Grey Cup Tonight From Edmonton

Saskatchewan and Montreal in a rematch of last year's nail biter.

Like most football fans I will be watching the NFL.

Go Als.

WFDS

3149...And U Thought Ur Student Loan Was Wack

Take war, take the big One, WWI.

Report On Business tells that Germany, who were ordered under the terms of the 1919 Treaty of Versailles to pay 64 000 000 000 . 00, that is 64 bill, made its final payment of 97 000 000 . 00, 97 mill, in October.

The Germans actually only paid 36 bill before the books were closed.

Now I suppose they move onto the other big one, WWII.

WFDS

3148...Imagine: They Are Letting Us Down

They are of course the folks with the power, the government, the cops, the judges, the SIU.

Here is Randall Denley, a rather prominent figure in Ottawa who has been one of the go to writers for the Ottawa Citizen for eons, and here is what he wrote in today's paper:

O

Ottawa is in an uproar over the way police treated the now famous [sic] Stacy Bonds, and rightly so. Just don't expect much to come of it. The "justice" system is already showing that it places protecting its own above protecting the public.

The provincial attorney general is the one who should be doing something about the way the system handled the forceful strip search of the diminutive Ottawa woman, but that would mean admitting the Crown got this wrong.

A spokesman for Attorney General Chris Bentley says the Bonds case has been reviewed by the province's chief prosecutor, who has determined that it was reasonable to take it to court. That despite Judge Richard Lajoie's ruling that the arrest of Bonds was unlawful, her detention violated Charter rights and the case was a "travesty."

Rather than create an independent review of the Crown's actions, Bentley turned to the subordinate in charge of prosecution and asked him if he thought his people acted properly. What a surprise that he would say yes.

The province's Special Investigations Unit is investigating, but the Bonds matter actually falls outside the organization's mandate, which allows it to look at matters involving death, sexual assault or serious injury. There was no serious injury in the Bonds case and it would probably be pushing it to describe what occurred as a sexual assault.

The SIU is likely to conclude that there is nothing it can do.

The matter will then be placed back in the hands of police Chief Vern White, who is likely to call in another force to investigate.

Given the Crown's stance up to now, it will be difficult to recommend charges against the officers involved, even if a police investigation suggests they are warranted. The Crown saw the same videotape that everyone else has now seen and determined that it was Bonds who should be charged, not the police officers.

The images of four male police officers forcing Bonds to the floor before the officer in charge cut her clothes off might seem outrageous to the public and the judge who tossed out the charge against Bonds, but the Crown has never identified a problem with what took place. The conduct of individual police officers in this case fell well below the standard that we should expect, but the Crown's failure to perceive it is the most shocking element of this whole sorry situation.

A reasonable person, let alone an experienced Crown attorney, should have expressed concern to Chief White about the officers' conduct. Nothing was said, even though Bonds' defence lawyer raised concerns with the actions caught on tape. Two years after the event, the Crown was still arguing in front of a judge that the police officers were, in effect, the victims.

If the Crown were to take the opposite view now and charge the officers, it would mean admitting the Crown attorney's office had been negligent in the first place. That's an unlikely course, especially now that their boss Bentley has backed them up. This has now become a political matter.

Despite his attorney general's support for the Crown prosecutors, Premier Dalton McGuinty on Friday made a wishy-washy statement about maybe reviewing the Bonds affair to see if something could be learned from it. That's not nearly good enough. The point was further amplified by the news Friday that two more cases have been thrown out because of similar police behaviour.

In effect, the attorney general is saying it's OK to arrest a woman on the flimsiest of pretexts, manhandle her, strip search her in disregard of guidelines established by the Supreme Court, toss her in a cell half-naked, then charge her with assaulting police. It's an outrageous position.

The system simply isn't working. The Crown attorneys are the ones who are supposed to determine whether charges are in the public interest and if there is a reasonable prospect of conviction. They are meant to offer sober second thought and to prevent people being hauled into court simply on the say-so of the police. They haven't done their job properly. Neither has the attorney general.

At this point, Dalton McGuinty is the only person who can restore some sanity to the system. The last thing the embattled premier needs is another controversy, but it's time for an independent investigation and maybe even a new attorney general.

The people give enormous powers to the police and the Crown with the trust that they will use those powers wisely. The Bonds incident has called that trust into question. Restoring the public's faith is essential. This isn't a situation where the people in charge can shrug and drive on.

Contact Randall Denley at rdenley@ottawacitizen.com or 613-596-3756.

We aren't hearing anything from anywhere really are we? And when they f*ck with Miss Bonds rights they f*ck with yours.

WFDS

3147...Christie Blatchford Turns On Julian Fantino

The sorta esteemed columnist for the Globe and Mail had this to say for the missing in action Tory candidate in Monday's bye-election in Vaughn:

In this regard, I’m afraid, Mr. Fantino seems a sadly good fit for a party whose approach to law-and-order strikes me increasingly as cartoonish.

Earlier this year, for instance, Ottawa did away with two-for-one credits for time served in jail by those who are merely accused and awaiting trials, a dopey move which has only resulted in ever-more crowded prisons, and also shut down a farm at the Frontenac Institution in Kingston, removing one of the few genuinely gentling forces to which prisoners might be exposed – animals.

A good fit for the cartoonish Stephen Harpers.

WFDS

3146...Who Speaks For Stacey Bond?

She is the young woman who two years and two plus months ago was both wrongfully arrested and roughed up by the Ottawa Police Service.

Not allegedly, but for true.

If you wanna see for yourself: http://www.cultureclashdaily.com/page1111194.php

Now if this was the United States of A you know, know that Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson and other leaders of the Black community would be all over this story. Where is the Black leadership on this story? Why aren't they in front and all over this story?

I will tell you why. I know a bunch of these supposed community leaders in your capital and they are the kind of community leaders who want to have networking events, eat canapes, waar really cool hats but never, ever, ever want to rock the boat.

Sad.

WFDS

3145...Sun TV Is A Go

Or is it SUN TV?

Anyhow there will be another news voice in English Canada next year, with Jamie Spurgeon in the Financial Post reporting that "The Canadian Radio-television and Telecommunications Commission said Sun TV News has been granted a five-year Category 2 broadcast licence, meaning Quebecor must negotiate with distributors such as Rogers Communications Inc. and Telus Corp. to have the controversial specialty channel picked up on their systems -- with no guarantees it will be."

The formal launch will be in March of next year which means for sure by Canada Day.

WFDS

3144...Happy Holiday

Today is National Buy From A Small Business Day.

How do I know this?

Easy.

I am watching the Boise State/Nevada football game on ESPN America which is the British/European arm of ESPN and they are showing the ESPN feed of this game between number 4 Boise and 19th ranked Nevada. I am watching it online through atdhe.net through CastAmp.

So, even though today is National Buy From A Small Business Day, I am not sure if Canada is covered. Just in case I am going to run to the local bagel shop after the game; good idea to get some carbs in before going to sleep, eh?

WFDS

3143...Dream McWedding In A Dream Location

It was Big Macs, chicken nuggets and fries at a wedding banquet in Monterry, Mexico yesterday.

Reuters reports that fast-food fanatics Carlos Munoz and Marisela Matienzo tied the knot at a McDonald's in an upscale district of Monterrey.

"Some of our guests thought it was a joke. Our parents were resigned to it," Miss Matienzo said. The wedding was the first in a Latin American McDicks. Getting married under the golden arches is a custom that has already taken off in Hong Kong for people seeking to depart from traditional marriage protocols.

WFDS

3142...CFL Wants Sask To Win Grey Cup

That is what Matthieu Proulx and Etienne Boulay, safeties with the Montreal Alouettes, told CKAC-AM, Montreal's french all-sports station, Thursday.

They claim that the Green Riders got the better hotels, the better dressing rooms, the better everything.

They say that they and their teammates have got over the disses and intend to bring the Grey Cup to Montreal for the second season in a row.

WFDS

3141...Wanna Play Pro Soccer/Football?

Contact Alan Davenport on 01736 330611.

He is the manager/club secretary for Mining Football League Division One side Madron who play out of Oxland Parc in Cornwall.

And they be terrible. They lost last week 55-0 to Illogan RBL; the week before they lost 27 zip to Trevenson United.

Interestingly they are not in last place in DI in the MFL.

WFDS

3140...Dick Cheney Nails Barack Obama

Right in the kisser.

For twelve stiches.

At least that who was my first suspect when I read in the Wall Street Journal that the President had got whacked in the face playing hoop with his boyz.

Turned out that the offender was Rey Decerega, director of programs for the Congressional Hispanic Caucus Institute. "I learned today the president is both a tough competitor and a good sport," Mr. Decerega said in a statement released by the White House. "I enjoyed playing basketball with him this morning. I'm sure he'll be back out on the court again soon."

In a related story, Mr. Decerega has been named the first ambassador to Antartica.

WFDS

3139...Ravens In The House

Men and women.

At Carleton.

It is Lakehead and McMaster as this weekends victims.

Look for me in the black sombrero.

WFDS

3138...Bonhomme Carnival Lobbies Our PM

All the Michelin Man's cousin wants is 180 000 000 . 00 of your dollars so they can build a hockey rink to house a [soon to be] failed NHL team in it.

The Globe and Mail reports that Bonhomme Carnaval was in Ottawa for a photo opportunity with our beloved leader and the mascot of the Quebec City Winter Carnival applied some gentle pressure during a photo op with Stephen Harper in his wood-panelled Parliament Hill office.

"I'm not sure if you've heard lately," said the mascot with the muffled voice, "but [Quebec City] is an excellent town for winter sports."

In English he said that. I thought that it was bad form for mascots to talk and for a Quebec City mascot to speak Anglais, OMG.

"The meeting came just weeks after a picture of Bonhomme toting a cash-stuffed suitcase appeared on the cover of Maclean's."

WFDS

3137...Julian Fantino Bully

Imagine, a police chief being a bully.

He will fit in nicely with the Stephen Harpers.

Linda Diebel in the Toronto Star opens today's piece on the bye election in Vaughn thusly:

Meeting Conservative Julian Fantino last month on the hustings for the upcoming Vaughan by-election didn't go as Liberal Tony Genco expected. He'd imagined pleasantries between competing candidates. Not quite. “I gave him my best wishes,” Genco told the Star, “and he told me some of my signs were too close to his campaign headquarters so he'd had his people take them down.” “I was totally surprised,” said Genco. “I asked him if he would please give them back — they're expensive, you know — but he didn't respond.” Genco apparently never did get his signs back — an example, according to his critics, of the arrogance of a former top cop who's used to doing what he pleases.

If you track the Great Fantino's career you will note that he fails his way to the top.

Fails as London's top copper becomes Toronto's top cop; fails as Toronto's top copper becomes Ontario's top cop and [if elected]; fails as Ontario's top copper and becomes part of the inner circle in Regime Stephen Harper where he can do some real damage.

WFDS

3136...How Could I Forget?

It is Thanksgiving.

Must be the turkey.

WFDS

3135...Stephen Harper Hates On Alberta

Too much money needed to support Edmonton's bid for the World's Fair in 2017.

The Stephen Harpers rationale is that the blew too much cash in Van on the Olympics and Toronto on the G8/G20 summits.

Plus you could run Karla Homolka as a Tory in Alberta and they would vote for her.

You got their vote Team Blue; no need to respect them too.

WFDS

3134...Dogs Smarter Than Cats

Metronews' Paul Sullivan reports that Oxford University, the one in Merry Ole, has studied 500 species of critters and have figgered out that social animals, dogs, are smarter than solitary animals, cats.

This of course means we have a new winner in the who gives a f&ck category.

WFDS

3133...Bye Bye Bye

The bye that is going bye bye is Newf Premier Danny Williams.

Brilliant and ballsy he will be missed.

Methinks that he won't be gone forever.

WFDS

3132...Elect The Senate

You cannot get 69 per cent of Canadians to agree on anything except that we should have an elected Senate.

Tonda Charles in today's Toronto Star also reports that the latest Angus Reid poll on the subject tells that "Sixty-three per cent support a nationwide referendum to decide the future of the Senate. The same number would support eight-year limits for Senate terms, while just 30 per cent would like to see the upper chamber abolished altogether, a number that includes 43 per cent of Quebecers. Many are pessimistic about reform, with 35 per cent convinced there will never be an elected Senate."

Personally I am with the 35 per cent that are convinced that there will never be; Cash For Life is too attractive for both the Tories and the Liberals.

WFDS

3131...Is Julian Fantino In Witness Protection?

The former police chief of everywhere who, if elected in Vaughn Monday, will, shudder, become a Stephen Harper point man on crime in the cabinet, isn't showing up for anything.

Which makes one think, perhaps?

Dan Robson in the Toronto Star opens today's piece this way: "A microphone and an empty chair sat behind Julian Fantino's name at a debate for candidates vying to take Vaughan's seat in the coming federal by-election.

The Conservative candidate was, again, unable to attend because of previous commitments."

And this time his excuse is right up there with "...the dog ate my homework..." Mr. Fantino "...told a [Vaughn] Citizen reporter that he had to attend a memorial mass with his family."

If it smells like bullsh*t and it sounds like bullsh*t it must be bullsh*t.

WFDS

3130...Speaking Of Travel

All the coverage of the Grey Cup is going to focus on how loyal the Saskatchewan Roughrider fans are, how they are the 13th man, how they follow their team from coast to Montreal.

As Stephen Brunt writes in the Globe and Mail today "...Riders fans...embrace it in a way that other followers of Canadian football do not. They get into their cars...planes..descend on the host city..."

You are so right Mr. Brunt but what you and the other scribblers have to keep in mind, and I lived and loved living in Saskatchewan for two years, that any excuse to get out of Saskatchewan, you take.

WFDS

3129...Biggest Travel Day Of The Year Is Today

In America that is.

It is all in prep for the biggest holiday, Thanksgiving and the biggest shopping day, Black Friday.

I hope the strip searches at US airports doesn't slow anyone down.

As if.

WFDS

3128...The Most Famous Canuck In The World Is

Pam Anderson.

She is making big waves in India this week and the Toronto Star reports that she may be too hot for Indian TV.

The Canadian bombshell has caused ratings of the Indian TV show Bigg Boss (similar to Big Brother) to shoot through the roof this week, just as the show caught the eye of the Indian government.

On Wednesday, Indian officials ordered the show to be moved to after 11 p.m. from prime time due to “objectionable” content. On Thursday, a high court reversed the decision until a Nov. 22 hearing.

The complaints don’t stem from anything Canada's Centennial Baby has done, but from events that occurred before her arrival, including a female housemate dropping her towel, an intimate kissing scene and abusive language.

She is due to leave the program Friday. The other houseguests were unaware of her arrival.

Anderson had picked up some phrases in Hindi, the only language the house guests speak. By Thursday’s show, the actress had learned a traditional Hindi dance.

This is not Anderson’s first foray into reality television. In 2008, she was on the Australian version of Big Brother. She also had her own reality show, Pam: Girl on the Loose.

Anderson is the second westerner to appear on Bigg Boss. The first was Jade Goody — a veteran of the British version of Big Brother — who left the show after she received her fatal cancer diagnosis.

WFDS

3127...The Don Cherry Seal Of Approval

Jane Taber reported in this morning's Globe and Mail that failed hockey coach and Hockey Night in Canada mega-star, Don Cherry, who is both the most loved and loathed personality in Our Home And Native Land, is endorsing Julian Fantino in Monday's bye-election in Vaughn.

"'There are not enough words to describe how much respect I have for Julian Fantino,' the Hockey Night in Canada commentator writes. 'He is honest, brave and always there for the ordinary guy. A class act and someone who will never let you down. He tells it like it is.'"

Mr. Fantino was not available for comment. He is never available for comment.

WFDS

3126...Hey You Have To Give Conservatives Points

They, for some unknown reason, tend to have hotter women in the trenches.

Mrs. Rahim Jaffer; Italy's Mara Carfagna and; Anne Coulter, to mention three.

I now offer you Megyn Kelly. TVNewser learns that “America Live” anchor Megyn Kelly is in the 2010 GQ Men of the Year issue, which hit newsstands this week. The talking head is the only TVNewser to be selected for the 2010 media personality.

Sincerity is always subject to proof. Google her.

Last year, the only TVNewser in the issue was “The Daily Show”’s Olivia Munn. Miss Munn, who has had over 10 000 000 watch the You Tube of her eating a weiner, started at FOX btw.

Can hardly wait for Sun to happen.

WFDS

3125...A Reality Star Before Reality TV Dies

Cut and paste from WLS-AM 890.

MILWAUKEE (AP) - A former Milwaukee police officer and Playboy Club bunny who gained national notoriety after she was convicted of murder and then escaped from prison has died in Oregon. Lawrecia ' Laurie ' Bembenek was 52.
Bembenek was convicted in 1982 of fatally shooting her police detective husband's ex-wife and sentenced to life in prison. She escaped in 1990 and fled to Canada.
Supporters cheered her flight, selling "Run Bambi Run" T-shirts and bumper stickers.
Bembenek was captured but later released after pleading no contest to second-degree murder. Her story was made into a TV movie starring Tatum O'Neal.
Bembenek's attorney Mary Woehrer says she died Saturday at a hospice care center in Portland, Ore. Woehrer says the cause of death was liver failure.

Back in the early part of the century, 2003, she was slated to go on Dr. Phil. As Yahoo reported then "The strange saga of Bembenek - one of America's most notorious prison escapees - got even stranger last November when she flew to California to appear on the "Dr. Phil" show. The show had agreed to foot the $20,000 bill for DNA tests that Laurie insisted would clear her name in the 1981 murder of her then-husband's ex-wife.

But when Bembenek, 45, and her boyfriend arrived in Los Angeles, her tempestuous life took yet another horrific turn. Dr. Phil's handlers stashed Bembenek in an apartment hideaway that had no contact with the outside world because they wanted to keep her from finding out the DNA results before her TV appearance, according to her lawsuit.

After spending eight years in prison, Bembenek said being confined triggered a panic attack. She tried to lower herself out a window, but plunged 12 feet to the ground. Bembenek suffered a severed artery, plus broken bones in her leg and foot. Eventually, her right leg was amputated several inches below the knee."

Last month Mike Jacobs of TODAY'S TMJ4 in Milwaukee interviewed her. He asked her to rate her life from 1 to 10; her reply was a sad 2.

Prayers.

WFDS

3124...Boomers Are Unhappy With Their Sex Lives

Baby boomers are the age group unhappiest of any age group about their sex lives. That is what a new Associated Press-LifeGoesStrong.com poll discovered.

Of course boomers, born between 1945 and 1964, are unhappy with their sex lives.

Unless they are rock stars they are having sex with old people.

WFDS

3123...Central Canadian Premiers Are

Not very well liked.

The front page of The Ottawa Citizen blared the news that it looks like the voters of Ontario have completed the turn on Premier McGuinty and will elect Tim Harris-Hudak next fall.

Yesterday The Canadian Press reported that "An online petition calling for Quebec Premier Jean Charest's resignation has amassed more than 200,000 signatures. The petition, tabled by an opposition member and posted on the legislature's website, has been up since last Monday."

And you thought y o u had a bad weekend.

WFDS

3122...The Obama Of The 20th Century

Was murdered on this day in 1963 in Dallas.

John Fitzgerald Kennedy was the first Roman Catholic, first Irishman, first Irish Roman Catholic to be elected President of the United States.

His election in 1960 was as momumentous and earth shattering as Barack Obama's pick up in 2008.

WFDS

3121...VPD Steps Up

Police in Vancouver are urging citizens to be on lookout for a mugger last seen wearing a Vancouver Curling Club coat and white toque. Hockey rinks, Tim Hortons shops on high alert.

In all seriousness the fact is that, as The Vancouver Sun reports, crimes perpetuated upon seniors are rife in Vancouver, so frequent that the VPD in 2008, prompted by an increase in crimes that targeted older and less-abled people, launched an undercover sting in the downtown east side.

Ten people were arrested in the exercise dubbed "Operation Oldtimer" which you can search on You Tube.

WFDS

3120...We May Want To Take Over Ireland Too

As you probably know the Irish have f*cked up yet again. "The island is one of the most economically troubled places in the developed world, as the European Union and the International Monetary Fund prepare a financial rescue package and accompanying draconian fiscal measures."

May be we could annex Eire and have to big eastern provinces, Greenland and Ireland.

Not just a thought but a project for Loyola Hearn, a good Catholic boy from Newfoundland who was a fisheries minister in the current government for a bit. The Globe and Mail yesterday also mentioned that Mr. Hearn may best be known as a key member of a team of emissaries who helped negotiate the union of the Progressive Conservative and Canadian Alliance parties, merging the two right wing groups into today's governing Conservative Party.

WFDS

3119...Why Don't We Take Over Greenland?

Seriously.

It would be cool to have another province and I am sure it would work for them plus Nuuk, their capital, would be a great cosmopolitan centre for the North and Inuit and like minded peoples.

Sure Denmark would probably be pissed but I am sure Stephen Harper could show them something something, eh?

Yes, I am brilliant.

WFDS

3118...Happy Trans Gender Day To You

Today is the day and there was cake at the Ottawa Cop Shop as the GLBTG community celebrated.

If u are progressive enough to not fear girls who act and dress like boys and boys who act and dress like girls support Bill C-389 which aims to add gender identity and expression to the Canadian Human Rights Act.

Eat cake.

WFDS

3117...50 000 th NHL Game Ce Soir

Tonite.

And it is the two oldest franchises, Montreal and Toronto, that will play that monumental game tonight at the Bell Centre in Montreal.

Postmedia tells all that the Minister of Sporty things, Gary Lunn, will present a plaque to the prez of the most successful NHL team ever, Pierre Boivin. That team of course is the Habs.

WFDS

3116...Now They May Say He Is Dead

Pat Burns.

Gatineau boy.

RIP.

Prayers.

WFDS

3115...Italian PM Pays 70 000 Euros For New Penis

You know it pays to shop around; mine only cost 8 900.

The Italian newspaper La Republicca reported yesterday that the country's Prime Minister, Silvio Berlusconi, has forked out 70,000 euros to add a new phallus to a statue to Mars which he has displaying in his office.

Traditional restoration techniques were apparently ignored in the procedure, possibly coz they were not expensive enough, which was expressly commissioned by the Italian leader.

The statue, on loan from the Terme di Diocleziano museum, now has a new body part which, according to architect Mario Catalano, can be added and removed as required.

Just like mine.

WFDS

3114...Apparently It Is That Time Of Year

The Salvation Army has invaded the malls.

If you can afford it, give.

If you need it, take.

WFDS

3113...Drug Test Sarah Palin

Seriously.

As you read in WFDS Post 3104...Democracy Prevails Over Sarah Palin, the former Miss Smalltown Alaska doesn't have enough clout in her own state to prevent a write-in candidate winning.

CNN reports that "During an interview for an upcoming Barbara Walters special, Palin said 'I believe so,' when Walters asked Palin 'If you ran for president, could you beat Barack Obama?'" She replied that "I'm looking at the lay of the land now, and ... trying to figure that out, if it's a good thing for the country, for the discourse, for my family, if it's a good thing.".

She be high.

CNN also reports that "In a lengthy interview for a profile in this weekend's New York Times magazine, the former Alaska governor flatly said she is considering launching a White House bid and is currently in discussions about the possibility with her family and trusted allies. 'I'm engaged in the internal deliberations candidly, and having that discussion with my family, because my family is the most important consideration here,' she said in the interview with journalist Robert Draper, now posted on the New York Times Web site.

She be very high.

WFDS

3112...Breast Exams Are Important

Just have them done by a doctor.

In a doctor's office.

Not a bar.

The Associated Press says that "Police arrested a woman in Idaho's capital city after they say she impersonated a plastic surgeon and conducted breast exams on at least two women in local bars."

Seriously, examinees, give your head a shake.

WFDS

3111...The Biggest Story In Your Capital This Day

This week.

This month.

Perhaps this year.

It is the story of a statistic that became front page news in Ottawa.

The stat is a terrifying one.

The Globe and Mail reported in today's paper that "Suicide is the second leading cause of death among 15- to 24-year-olds and among 10- to 14-year-old girls, according to the most recent figures from Statistics Canada. In 2007, 508 youths committed suicide in Canada, with many more attempting it."

The reason that teen suicide is front page news in Ottawa is because the daughter of one of the Princes of the city, and that truly is what Ottawa Senator hockey players are in this town, Bell's Corners boy Luke Richardson's 14 year old daughter Daron, killed herself last Friday.

Instead of taking their pain to a private place, which most would do and none would blame them for, Mr. Richardson and his family took a different tact. The result "...a rare public memorial service for a teenage suicide victim – 5,600 people in Ottawa's professional hockey arena. [Becuz of this] Suicide, particularly the suicide of the young, is no longer the taboo it has been.

That is an extraordinary liberation from an age-old silence and its twin, shame. And now that Canadians can talk about it – can say, openly, that they worry that their children may take their lives, that they need to know what to do to reach their children, and if the worst happens, to be able to grieve openly, and share any lessons they've learned – how do we begin to use our new-found freedom to prevent suicide?"

That is the question and it is a pointed and difficult one.

From my vantage point and the vantage point of many in this world Daron Richardson had it all. She was beautiful, a great athlete, going to the best school in a town where her dad has been a hero since his teens. But deep inside her was a darkness that she could not illuminate.

Like Richard Cory she took her life.

Hopefully her passing will save many who are going down the same dark road.

Prayers.

WFDS

3110...Wise Words For Liberals

From Denise Brunsdon.

I don't know the woman except to see her; wouldn't know her voice if I heard it but I do know her reputation. Her reputation is that of a smart young Liberal who is both socially aware and aware of retail politics. If memory serves Ms. Brunsdon worked in the Prime Minister's Office of the last decent PM our Canada has had, Paul Martin.

The heading on her Facebook account is both to the point and painfully accurate:

Dear Privileged Liberals: please stop getting offended on behalf of minority groups of which you are not a part. It's tired and annoying. And if it worked electorally, then we'd be in power already.

We aren't the other; the other are the other.

Rob Ford got it and we gotta got it too.

WFDS

3109...Just Another Reason To Be Proud Of CU

Yes that would be Canada's 46th best university, Carleton, on the banks of the majestic Rideau River in your nation's capital.

The student's association, CUSA, which has traditionally held Marxist-Lennonist views [Groucho Marx-John Lennon] has struck another blow for non freedom of speech.

Tom Spears in The Ottawa Citizen reports that this time the jack-booted twits at CUSA have kicked Carleton University's anti-abortion club, a club that may be as big as t e n people [on a campus with over 20 000 students] has been cashiered out of the Carleton University Students' Association for its views, which, like, doh, are anti-abortion. The Carleton Lifeline club may apply to be re-certified but there is a catch, the catch being it may be re-certified only if it supports abortion.

Well, uh, like, no.

"CUSA vice-president Khaldoon Bushnaq responds in a letter to the club that the problem is Lifeline's constitution, part of which says: 'Carleton Lifeline believes in the equal rights of the unborn and firmly believes that abortion is a moral and legal wrong,' and adds that the organization will work toward legal protection for fetuses. The CUSA constitution says there must be 'no CUSA resources, space, recognition or funding' for anyone who opposes abortion."

In other words, we, CUSA, are in favour of free speech as long as you think the way we want you to.

Keep in mind that CUSA is the same organization that "...dropped out of the national Shinerama drive, which raises money for cystic fibrosis research. CUSA said CF was mainly a disease of white people. It later learned this was an error, and rejoined Shinerama after enduring national embarrassment."

That is why Alma Mater is Canada's 46th best university.

WFDS

3108...It Is Harris-Hudak Or Dalton McGuinty

Plain and simple folks.

Do you want the man who sleeps with the woman who helped craft the evil policies of Mike Harris, anti-poor, anti-work, anti-immigrant, anti-progress, anti-everything to guide Ontario from 2011 onwards or do you want to stay with Dalton McGuinty?

That, my friend, is what it comes down to.

WFDS

3107...Twitter Tiger For A Date

The greatest ladies man of this millenium, Tiger Woods, is now Twittering.

@TigerWoods

According to QMI he had over 100 000 followers within 90 minutes.

WFDS