871...Stephen Harper's Calendar

Tomorrow evening Prime Minister Stephen Harper addresses the Canadian American Business Council and Canadian Association of New York.

The reception is at 5:30 p.m.; Mr. Harper's speech is at 6 p.m. It is at the Grand Hyatt Hotel, 109 East 42 St., Manhattan, New York City, New York. I will be the one in the Canadian Flag sombrero.

The subject is one near and dear to the heart of our beloved Prime Minister:

Winning Hockey Pool Strategies

Draft To Win

WFDS

706...Shoot Yourself In The Thigh And Go To Jail

If you roll like Plaxico Burress that is what is going to go down.

Everyone is reporting that the former New York Giant wideout pleaded guilty Thursday to a weapons charge and agreed to a two-year prison term for accidentally shooting himself at a Manhattan nightclub. You read right, Mr. Science shot himself, his own damn self, in the thigh earlier this year.

He is 31 and hopes to renew his NFL career when he gets out of jail in what will probably be 20 months.

Andy Reid, what do you and the Iggles have to say about that?

WFDS

514...To Twitter Or Not To Twitter

It could happen here in Ottawa, Lord knows we have enough bank robberies. And it could happen where you are too. But it actually happened there.

I present a cut and paste job from inquisitr.com:

This morning, a woman in Manhattan used Twitter to pass the time through an ultra-boring bank stickup.

@TravelingAnna stopped at the HSBC branch at 5 Penn Plaza (34th St. at 8th Ave.) around 9am, but the trip took a turn for the twitter-worthy when the bank was held up. Anna tweeted:

my bank was just held up- with me in it. HSBC 34 and 8. also my whole trackball is GONE!!! im locked in the bank still.

they wont let us leave the bank.

cant figure out how to call work without a trackball… police just arrived. maybe theyll let me go now.

they want to question us. i didnt even notice this gappenning (sic) while i was standing there

While the bank robbery and aftermath were interesting, a second, perhaps more sinister tragedy was unfolding (illustrated above) regarding Anna’s serious Blackberry issues. Unable to respond via SMS or e-mail, trackballess Anna was forced to recount the harrowing ordeal solely through the medium of Twitter.

repeat: my trackball is gone. cant pick up calls, answer emails, or texts. so dont send them please.

STFU, loved ones! The trackball issue was so consuming, Anna didn’t even notice the robbery itself.

no i didnt hit the floor. i didnt even notice and he was two people in front of me. i suck.

And thanks to the miracle of the interwebs, Anna didn’t even have to get up out the bank before haters started bashing her in the comments on Gothamist.

someone on Gothamist just told me to fall down a man hole. geez, get a life, buddy.

cant defend my honor because I cant scroll to the reply box, but whatever. that guy can kiss my ass. im the one locked in a bank.

Luckily for Anna, the ordeal ended quickly due to a surveillance avoidance fail:

they totally got the guy. cop said he was lazy. walked right into several Penn station security cams. #fail

And there was even a #happyending. (No, not the Chinatown kind.)

@skydiver Holy followers haha

WFDS